editorial articles reviews news & views - Institute of Sikh Studies

THE ART OF SEEKING GOD’S GRACE THROUGH SELF-ANNIHILATION
11
ever wanted and did not get. 5
When the Lord inculcated in me the habit of meditating on Him,
says Nanak, I found that I was always in peace, both at home in
the heart and outside. 6
When I held on to the feet of the Lord, says Nanak, I found
peace day in and day out. 7
The absolute humility with which our Guru teaches us to pray in
the following hymn will make my point even more clear. In English,
we say, beggars are not choosers. Our Guru determines that unless
we annihilate ourselves and become determined (dheeth) we cannot
persuade the Lord to listen to our entreaties. The following hymn of
Guru Arjun will bear me out. I take it in translation :
On your innumerable qualities I cannot meditate for I am meritless
and You are my provider. How can a purchased slave show his
cleverness I can only offer at your feet, everything which includes
body and mind. I yearn for your vision, my glamorous beloved
Lord, but I know there is nothing that I can do for You because
You are always limitless, unassessable. How shall I serve You,
what shall I say to please You, how shall I have Your darshan
Although I pine for You all time, I cannot fathom Your contours,
Your limitlessness. But I have become dheeth (determined) to beg
You to grant me the dust of the feet of the saints (my Guru).
And, says Nanak, the slave, the Lord showed His graciousness
and, holding my hand, made me cross the ocean of life. 8
I am indeed bewildered pleasantly to see, on the one hand, abject
surrender and absolute willingness to become a non-entity and, on the
other, so much graceful response that the Lord is prepared to make
the disciple like Himself. Two hymns of Kabir exemplify this socalled
mystery. Actually, it is not a mystery at all. Because, even at
the cost of repetition, I say : Guru Granth Sahib’s slavery is the greatest
liberation. Witness this spectacular wonder of Kabir. The first hymn
talks of his desperate condition of separation and yearning to be united,
and the second dwells on his absolute merging with the Lord :
I am sacrifice unto You, my Lord, why do You kill me by showing
Your back on me It is better that you thrust a knife into my
being, but I cannot bear Your separation. Please, Lord, listen to
my pleadings, embrace me. 9