All About Mentoring Spring 2011 - SUNY Empire State College

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I kept at it, and also continued many other
pieces of volunteer work in my community
in an effort to impart my academic and
experiential knowledge. I wanted to
work for good programming for youth
and families at risk. I wanted to work
toward ensuring some overall good in my
community. And as I met many people in
this work, one thing kept creeping up in
my conscience: Those I was working with
and for were very often endowed with
Goleman’s competencies – and especially
with empathy – as a typical hallmark.
I kept thinking about Goleman and about
his newer work on what he describes as “the
emotionally intelligent workplace” (2001).
Around me and inside me I was moving far
from any “look at me”-narcissism about
contribution, and instead beginning to
attach personal and social competencies
to a teaching model based on leading
by example. I was exemplifying one of
Goleman’s tenets: Emotional intelligence is
not static. It can be cultivated, and I believe
that in my cultivating, I was working to
pick the fruits of this emotionally intelligent
garden and feed them to specific and
special young girls, entire not-for-profit
youth serving organizations, and peace
and diversity task forces among other
community groups.
I wanted to work for
good programming for
youth and families at
risk. I wanted to work
toward ensuring some
overall good in my
community.
Already this has been a life’s work, and
many of the young people I once impacted
as mentor, homework assistant and agency
expert volunteer now sit alongside me on
the very boards of agencies where they
participated, played, scraped knees, attended
college trips, and sought help of all kinds.
Without the blinding near-sightedness of
early narcissism that can motivate some
in volunteerism, I now fully see that when
one works through the immediate perks of
the notoriety of “expertise,” there are no
replacements for the evolving competencies
of self-awareness, self-regulation,
motivation, social skills and empathy. There
are no replacements for humanity linked
with compassion. My former blind side is
shined now to a 20/20 vision polish each
time a child, a young adult or older adult
recognizes me as “that lady who taught me
to open a new door.”
References
Cherniss, C. and Goleman, D. (Eds.) (2001).
The emotionally intelligent workplace.
San Francisco, CA: Jossey-Bass.
Goleman, D. (1995). Emotional intelligence:
Why it can matter more than IQ. New
York, NY: Bantam Dell.
suny empire state college • all about mentoring • issue 39 • spring 2011