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Domestic Violence Counseling Manual - Hot Peach Pages

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MISCELLANEOUS TIPS<br />

The following are six statements that a battered woman needs to hear from you and from anyone she<br />

relies on for support:<br />

1. This is not your fault. You are not to blame.<br />

2. I am afraid for your safety and the safety of your children<br />

3. The situation will only get worse.<br />

4. I am here for you.<br />

5. You deserve better than this.<br />

6. You can change your life.<br />

The following are a list of questions you can ask your counselee to assess the situation’s danger level:<br />

• Has the violence, danger, or brutality of the assaults escalated<br />

• Are there knives, guns, or other weapons at home<br />

• Does the perpetrator abuse alcohol or other drugs<br />

• Does the perpetrator assault you while intoxicated or high<br />

• Has the perpetrator threatened or attempted to kill you<br />

• Is the perpetrator assaultive during sex<br />

• Does the perpetrator follow you, monitor your whereabouts, and/or stalk you<br />

• Is the perpetrator jealous or paranoid<br />

• Is the perpetrator depressed or suicidal<br />

• Has the perpetrator experienced recent deaths or losses<br />

• Does the perpetrator have a history of assaulting other people or breaking the law<br />

• Was the perpetrator beaten as a child, or did he witness his mother being beaten<br />

• Are you still living with the perpetrator<br />

Dealing With Incest:<br />

Incest often evokes responses of horror, disbelief, judgment, and denial in both the counselor and the<br />

counselee. Counselors need to recognize the intense pain that can be attached to dealing with this<br />

experience; however, they cannot afford to get “bogged down” in the pain. Counselors must attempt to<br />

hold a realistic perspective by acknowledging the topic and its often-painful consequences, but also by<br />

viewing the client as a whole person who has strength and survival skills and who can resolve the<br />

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