Domestic Violence Counseling Manual - Hot Peach Pages

INTRODCTION
This manual is only a beginning. It will give you the facts you need to know, tips on how to council, a
rundown on the resources available in your community, and more. What it will not give you, what it
cannot give you, is the look of pure fear in the eyes of a woman living with abuse, the blue and purple
swollen face of a woman who’s husband threw a pot at her head last night, the tears of a child who has
watched his father beating his mother almost to the point of death. These are the things that you will be
faced with as a counselor that no one can prepare you for.
As a counselor, you are giving your counselees the courage to dream of a better life, and someone to talk
to just when they were beginning to think that there was no hope left. The people you will talk to will be
at rock bottom, and you are a tunnel to the light. You can’t drag them there, but you can show them the
way. This is not to say that you are superior, we’re all human, and all equal, but only that you have gifts
that you can share with them: hope, belief, acceptance, and a friendly ear.
Counseling, like most other things, comes easier with practice. Use this manual as a starting point and a
guide, and use your heart, your guts, and you intelligence to fill in the gaps. Through your work as a
counselor you are helping not only individuals, but your community as well. Human nature may have its
ugly side, but you stand on the side of a brighter, better future. On behalf of the victims of abuse and
society in general, thank you for your courage.
MYTHS
The perpetuation of myths about domestic violence are dangerous not only because they encourage social
acceptance and apathy towards the problem, but also because many women believe them which leads
them to justify, minimize or deny the violence they are experiencing. This prevents the vital step of
acknowledging that they are in a dangerous and violent situation, which is an essential step towards
seeking help. Therefore, it is essential to dispel these myths both in the community at large and with
individual counselees. The following are some of the most common myths that you will encounter:
1. “It’s just the odd domestic tiff. All couples have them.”
It is true that all couples have disagreements at some point in their relationship. However, a
relationship that involves violence amounts to more than a disagreement and is based on an imbalance
of power and control. A relationship that is healthy, which includes the occasional verbal
disagreement, is based on respect, trust, support and love for the other. Domestic violence involves
constant or cyclic physical, sexual, emotional, psychological and financial abuse. There is no room
for any such abuse in a healthy relationship. It is harmful and dangerous. In England and Wales
between one and two women are killed by their partners every week - unfortunately there are no
corresponding statistics for Belize.
2. “It can’t be that bad or she’d leave.”
As listed previously, there are many, many reasons why a woman stays with her abuser. In Belize the
practical hindrances to leaving an abuser are greater because there are not the same support services
that are in place in most western countries.
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