Domestic Violence Counseling Manual - Hot Peach Pages

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• Figure out where you can go to be safe if you need to leave your house • Decide if you can lie or withhold information to protect yourself • Try to identify a friend or family member whom you can rely on for support • Establish a “code word” or sign so that family, friends, teachers, or co-workers know when to call for help • Think about what you can say to your partner if he becomes violent • Teach your children how and when to dial the police and to stay out of any conflict between you and your partner • Pack a bag with important things you’d need (money, keys, clothing, medication, records/documents, etc.) if you had to leave your home quickly Assess your risks: • What might happen to you (or your children) if you stay in the relationship • What might happen to you (or your children) if you end the relationship Risk Factor If she stays in the relationship If she leaves the relationship Loss or damage to possessions Loss of partner or relationship Being alone, single parenting Standard of living Loss of caretaker Substance abuse He may destroy things of importance or value to her to gain further control He could leave her or be emotionally unavailable He could be emotionally unavailable, he could do little to help her with the children He may control the money and give her little money to live on, he could lose or quit his job, he could make her lose or quit her job If she is disabled and he is her caretaker he may not adequately care for her She may abuse drugs and/or alcohol to help her cope with the emotional and physical pain He may destroy things of importance or value to her to gain further control, she may have to leave things behind when she leaves, he may get things in a divorce proceeding Loss of partner and relationship He is unavailable and she may not be able to (or want to) find someone new, he may not visit or help raise the children, it may not be safe for the children or her to have him do so She may now live solely on her income, she may have to move out of her home or neighborhood, she may have less money If she is disabled and he is her caretaker he will no longer be there to help her Even if she leaves, she will take an addiction with her, she may abuse drugs and/or alcohol to cope with her new life situation 25-56
Threat to “turn her in” Loss of residency status Loss of family/ friends support Suicide (victim, partner) HIV He may threaten this to keep her from leaving, he may force her to be involved in his criminal activity Ongoing threat, he could do it They may want her to leave and stop supporting her if she stays, they may not like him or may be afraid of him, he may keep her isolated from them He could commit murder suicide, she may commit suicide due to the psychological impact of surviving or desire to take control of a death she may believe is inevitable Through unsafe behavior with her partner, she may have no choice regarding sex, he may sexually assault her He may threaten this or actually do it Ongoing threat, he could do it They may not want her to leave him, they may blame her for the outcome and end of the relationship He could commit murder suicide, she may commit suicide due to the psychological impact of surviving or desire to take control of a death she may believe is inevitable He may sexually assault her During an abusive incident: • Stay away from the kitchen (the abuser can find weapons, like knives, there) • Stay away from the bathroom or any other small space where the abuser could trap you • Go to a room with a door or a window so that you can escape • Go to a room with a phone so that you can call for help, locking the abuser outside if possible • Call the police right away before the situation escalates After an abusive incident: • If a police officer comes, tell him or her what happened and get his or her name for your own records • Document and take pictures of any injuries and seek medical attention PRACTICAL CHECKLIST (IF YOU’RE LEAVING THE ABUSIVE SITUATION) While you are gathering your courage to leave: • Develop your job skills • Start your own bank account 26-56
Page 1 and 2: Domestic Violence Counseling Traini
Page 3 and 4: SECTION 1 INTRODUCTION 2-56
Page 5 and 6: 3. “Domestic violence only happen
Page 7 and 8: 7. “Batterers are just violent pe
Page 9 and 10: SECTION 2 THE NATURE OF DOMESTIC VI
Page 11 and 12: • Sexual degradation, including:
Page 13 and 14: • Verbally abusive, threatening,
Page 15 and 16: • The victim attempts to stay out
Page 17 and 18: EMOTIONAL AFTER-EFFECTS OF ABUSE Do
Page 19 and 20: • Embarrassment, reluctance to op
Page 21 and 22: Ultimately, domestic violence is on
Page 23 and 24: STATISTICS (from the handbook Sayin
Page 25: MENTAL PREPERATION When someone exp
Page 29 and 30: SECTION 5 LEGAL & MEDICAL PROCEDURE
Page 31 and 32: issues and domestic violence; they
Page 33 and 34: A Protection Order... • Has the a
Page 35 and 36: comprehensive support system for vi
Page 37 and 38: 2. Documentation • The Domestic V
Page 39 and 40: • Symptoms / Detection: Some peop
Page 41 and 42: • Treatment: Treatments for genit
Page 43 and 44: SECTION 6 RESOURCES 43-56
Page 45 and 46: Red Cross 824-4804/2807 Cor. Joseph
Page 47 and 48: BEFORE YOU START COUNSELING… Befo
Page 49 and 50: show how she is really feeling. Let
Page 51 and 52: the first weeks after an assault, p
Page 53 and 54: • Allow your counselee to talk ab
Page 55 and 56: MISCELLANEOUS TIPS The following ar

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