Domestic Violence Counseling Manual - Hot Peach Pages

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SECTION 4 COPING WITH DOMESTIC VIOLENCE 23-56
MENTAL PREPERATION When someone experiences or lives with domestic violence there are also five main mental phases that they go through in coping with the abuse. It is necessary to move through these phases in order to try to leave a domestic violence situation. These stages are: 1. Shock/Denial 2. Bargaining: Tries to talk to or reason with the abuser 3. Anger 4. Depression (and realization): Rage is turned inwards, in extreme cases it can result in suicide 5. Acceptance: This is the stage where the abused is able to take action (usually in the tension or explosion stage of the violence cycle). It may take weeks, months, or years to reach the final stage. It may never be reached. In order to reach this stage it is sometimes necessary to hit rock bottom, to reach the point where you have to move somewhere and the only place is up. Even once the victim reaches this phase, she still needs to: 1. Seek emotional support and practical help 2. Make a crisis safety plan to help keep her and her children safe 3. Get advice about her legal rights and the appropriate procedures It is extremely important to note that the victim must be the one to move herself through these phases. It is, of course, helpful and almost necessary to have someone they can trust to talk to and rely on for support—however this does not mean that you should take over the practical aspects of the process for the victim. Resist the tendency to treat her as a helpless child and do everything for her. For her to be able to successfully leave her abuser and rebuild her life she must be in control. This will help her to regain confidence in herself and her ability to be self-sufficient. PRACTICAL CHECKLIST (IF YOU’RE STAYING IN THE ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP) Identify waning signs of abuse: • Specific words and behaviors that precede a violent incident • Specific actions or looks of your partner that inspire fear in you Take actions before a violent incident to insure your protection: • Create a list of emergency numbers and try to memorize it 24-56
Page 1 and 2: Domestic Violence Counseling Traini
Page 3 and 4: SECTION 1 INTRODUCTION 2-56
Page 5 and 6: 3. “Domestic violence only happen
Page 7 and 8: 7. “Batterers are just violent pe
Page 9 and 10: SECTION 2 THE NATURE OF DOMESTIC VI
Page 11 and 12: • Sexual degradation, including:
Page 13 and 14: • Verbally abusive, threatening,
Page 15 and 16: • The victim attempts to stay out
Page 17 and 18: EMOTIONAL AFTER-EFFECTS OF ABUSE Do
Page 19 and 20: • Embarrassment, reluctance to op
Page 21 and 22: Ultimately, domestic violence is on
Page 23: STATISTICS (from the handbook Sayin
Page 27 and 28: Threat to “turn her in” Loss of
Page 29 and 30: SECTION 5 LEGAL & MEDICAL PROCEDURE
Page 31 and 32: issues and domestic violence; they
Page 33 and 34: A Protection Order... • Has the a
Page 35 and 36: comprehensive support system for vi
Page 37 and 38: 2. Documentation • The Domestic V
Page 39 and 40: • Symptoms / Detection: Some peop
Page 41 and 42: • Treatment: Treatments for genit
Page 43 and 44: SECTION 6 RESOURCES 43-56
Page 45 and 46: Red Cross 824-4804/2807 Cor. Joseph
Page 47 and 48: BEFORE YOU START COUNSELING… Befo
Page 49 and 50: show how she is really feeling. Let
Page 51 and 52: the first weeks after an assault, p
Page 53 and 54: • Allow your counselee to talk ab
Page 55 and 56: MISCELLANEOUS TIPS The following ar

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