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suspend wet T-shirts in <strong>the</strong> open windows. After exploring several<br />

different means of T-shit suspension this concept was also abandoned<br />

as nothing we could make while driving proved sturdy enough <strong>to</strong> hold<br />

a T-shirt in <strong>the</strong> 80MPH wind.<br />

Frustrated and incredibly sweaty I looked back at Buck’s dog<br />

Treker panting his <strong>to</strong>ngue off behind us. All of a sudden I got <strong>the</strong> urge<br />

<strong>to</strong> pour some water on his fur. Then it hit me! I dumped my water bottle<br />

all over my head and <strong>the</strong> swamp cooler turned on immediately. For<br />

<strong>the</strong> first time all day I was experiencing a comfortable operating<br />

climate, a bit clammy but nice and cool.<br />

Buck and Treker promptly followed suite and both<br />

communicated approval. After protecting our intellectual property by<br />

beginning <strong>the</strong> patent process, we came up with <strong>the</strong> catchy name The<br />

Swamp Cooler Shirtâ and began discussing variants. We found that a<br />

turban-style application of The Swamp Cooler Shirtâ was great for<br />

reducing <strong>the</strong> typical drivers arm tan line. Disclaimer: When using<br />

The Turban Cooler Shirtâ it is important <strong>to</strong> apply copious<br />

amounts of sunscreen. Do not use for more than 15 minutes at<br />

a time. Keep The Turban Cooler Shirtâ high on head <strong>to</strong> ensure<br />

adequate vision. Misuse can lead <strong>to</strong> burns, serious bodily injury<br />

or even death. Must be 16 years or older with a valid drivers<br />

license, registration, insurance and waterproof seats <strong>to</strong> operate.<br />

After our great discovery, we proceeded <strong>to</strong> Salt Lake City in<br />

comfort. Buck, Treker and I went our separate ways. A week later<br />

with I met up with a few friends and we drove south <strong>to</strong> <strong>the</strong> Grand<br />

Canyon where we did a self supported 16 day raft trip down <strong>the</strong><br />

Colorado River. I was in a kayak and had <strong>the</strong> ability <strong>to</strong> dunk my head<br />

in <strong>the</strong> cold water whenever <strong>the</strong> 110+ degree heat go <strong>to</strong> me, but I<br />

noticed many of <strong>the</strong> rafters wore what looked like a bandana around<br />

<strong>the</strong>ir necks. Upon inquiring I learned that <strong>the</strong> bandanas had a built in<br />

sponge for evaporative cooling. The whole practice looked a great<br />

deal like my patented Swamp Cooler Shirtâ. Then I remembered that<br />

I had seen <strong>the</strong> same trick done with wet canvas over a metal canteen.<br />

It seems we had reinvented a cooling method likely used for<br />

thousands years.<br />

The real question is, why had did I endured countless miserably<br />

hot hours behind <strong>the</strong> wheel when I had all <strong>the</strong> <strong>to</strong>ols necessary <strong>to</strong> cool<br />

myself? The answer is simple: We are modern men driving<br />

semi-modern au<strong>to</strong>mobiles. Our adaptation <strong>to</strong> <strong>the</strong> convenience of A/C<br />

has made us forget <strong>the</strong> simple ways of doing things. And so I suggest<br />

that if you find yourself Rovering in <strong>the</strong> dry heat, try a little<br />

evaporative cooling!<br />

Happy Travels,<br />

_______ ________<br />

37

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