[Mantak_Chia,_Michael_Winn]_Taoist_Secrets_of_Love(BookFi.org)

Orgasm and Wu Wei 187
surrender of himself to her and thus more loving. These women
were also concerned that by missing his ejaculation the woman
might somehow be at fault for not bringing him to full conventional
orgasm. Most of this resistance is due to lack of spiritual education,
or may be an unconscious attempt to maintain sexual power over a
man. As one woman explained it to me, "some women get a feeling
that they can possess their man only when he has surrendered by
ejaculating. She isn't consciously aware of the energy equation,
but it may be the way she alleviates her insecurity about his love
for her."
In this kind of relationship the man's ejaculation has become a
kind of football on the sexual playing field. The pattern is one
wheje after the man surrenders his seed, he unconsciously holds
back from her in other ways to conserve his energy and identity.
She unconsciously senses this, and thinking she is strengthening
their relationship encourages him to ejaculate. When he learns the
Taoist method of retaining his seed and moving the energy up
within himself, she resists because she is losing the tangible symbol
of his surrender to her, his semen. Her motives are loving on one
level, but unfortunately they are possessive.
The only remedy for this situation is for the man to share his
experience of increased energy and love with her. Taoist lovemaking
is impossible to master if the relationship is poisoned by jealousy
and possessiveness over the exchange of lower sexual energy.
The essence of the process of esoteric love is to transform the
energy up to the heart and spiritual centers before exchanging it
with your lover. This highlights the importance of the man returning
to the woman the energy he has received from her during sex. If
he tries to keep it for his own personal ends or projects it out his
third eye into some fantastic vision, he disperses the chi and breaks
the cycle of exchange with her. This is why the Taoists believe it is
better to repay the immediate source of your energy—your lover—
as she can use the higher transformed energy you give her to balance
herself and you.
The energy of the two partners in the relationship begins to
move in an upward spiral, and becomes more exquisitely refined
with each spiral. It eventually expands to embrace friends and
family members in the dynamic. This spiral relationship is actually
expressed in the Taoist symbol of yin/yang circling endlessly
around in a circle. The male energy is directed, like an arrow