flame of love - Sri Aurobindo Ashram

FLAME OF LOVE

FLAME OF LOVE 

Compiled and Edited 

by 

Roshan 

Sri Aurobindo Ashram 

Pondicherry

First Edition 2 0 0 7 

The writings of Sri Aurobindo and the Mother 

are copyrighted b y the S ri A u robindo Ashram Trust 

and have been r eproduced with its kind permission. 

Cover page: " F lame of Love" by Hufreesh 

Price: Rs 50.00 

© Divyanand Kripanidhi 2007 

12, "A trrra rr v . iRav fs b ankar S ankul 

Surat - 395 001 

Published by Divyanand Kripanidhi 

Printed at Sri Aurobindo Ashram P ress 

Pondicherry - 605 002 

PRINTED IN INDIA

Sri Aurobindo

o Lord! Kindle in us the Flame ofLove which 

will burn out all resistance and make us fit to 

be Thy faithful servants. 

The Mother 

In deep gratitude I offer this compilation at 

the lotus-feet of Sri Aurobindo and the Mother.

The Mother 

Photograph given by the Mother to Motiba on 27 January 1962

Contents 

Preface 

xi 

Part 1. Memories of Motiba 

Champaklal's Dear Aunt Motiba 

Sweet Memories 

Foiba, as I Know Her 

Grace on Motiben 

"M y Water Saree" 

5 

15 

19 

24 

25 

Part 2. Memories of Bansidhar 

My Early Golden Days 

Bansidhar and Photography 

Our Bansimama 

30 

46 

48

Motiba 

With a bouquet of flowers she prepared for offering to the Mother

Preface 

I present this compilation of sweet memories of Motiba 

(C h a m pa k lal ' s aunt) and Bansidhar (Champaklal's younger 

brother) who came to Sri Aurobindo Ashram in its early days 

when the Ashram had few inmates - sixty to seventy. Those 

were days of intense sadhana, as Sri Aurobindo and the 

Mother were bringing ' down the Supreme Truth, Light, 

Harmony, Peace and love into the earth-consciousness. Given 

the privilege of living in closeproximity with them, the Divine 

in human form, the sadhaks and sadhikas were singlemindedly 

concentrated on their sadhana. They were silent 

servitors and one in their aim to surrender to the Lord Sri 

Aurobindo and the Mother with full faith. With a burning 

flame of love in their heart they came - to serve, to love, 

to realise the Divine. . 

For me, for my family, for my friends and many others, 

Champaklal, Kamalaben, Motiba and Bansidhar were like 

loving guardians. T hey were unique in their own way. This 

is my humble effort to express my he a rt-fe lt gratitude to them. 

This compilation is not biographical. It is a brief account of 

a few events in their lives which exemplify their simplicity, 

sincerity, surrender and unswerving fidelity to the Divine. 

Those who came into contact with them learned many things 

from their way of living. 

I admire Motiba for her simplicity, receptivity and love 

for all, qualities which were inborn in her. The Mother has 

said: "Simplicity is of all things the best to express harmony." 

Praful, an inmate staying in the Ashram building, recounted 

to me a significant incident about Motiba which 

occurred a few days before her passing away: It involved 

Kamalini, who looked after both Motiba and Bansidhar for

xii 

Preface 

the last ten years of their lives. "One day at midnight," Praful 

said, "Kamalini came running to tell me about something unusual 

happening to Motiba. I went there and what did I see? 

She was engrossed in loudly singing Sri Krishna's bhajans, 

and it went on until two o'clock! I was taken aback and wondered 

what force could make her sing like this at the age of 

one hundred and eleven. No doubt, it was the Mother's Shakti 

working in her. Because she was receptive to the Mother's 

Force, she could receive so much." 

I had the interview with Motiba in 1995, when she was 

completing a hundred years. It is re-edited and included in 

this booklet. 

I came in contact with Bansidhar when I was working with 

Champaklal. My first impression of him was that of a spontaneous, 

straightforward, fearless and loving man. He could 

not tolerate injustice so he stood up and fought against it. I 

found him beside Champaklal like a Lakshman beside Rama, 

always ready to help. I quote here from Champaklal Speaks: 

"Speaking of the French Revolution, the Mother said: Pujalal 

was there. But I d id not know that Bansidhar also was there, 

helping me. Strange["* 

Sunandaben told me of an incident which took place in 

her presence: "Once a young lady came to Bansidhar. He 

was at his table writing out passes for darshan in Sri 

Aurobindo's room. This lady approached him and almost in 

tears said, 'I can't take it, I can't bear it any more. I don't 

want to live. I just want to die.' Bansidhar simply looked at 

her and after a few moments of silence said, 'Do you really 

want to die? Give up this life?' 

'Yes,' she almost wailed. 

* Champaklal Speaks, Third edition, p. 216.

Preface 

xiii 

'Then go out, down the steps, leave the building, turn to 

your left and start walking. You will come to the wall, a small 

one. You can climb over it. Just jump into the sea.' " 

Bansidhar did not like to speak or write about himself. 

After a- lot of insistence he wrote one article, "My Early 

Golden Days", which was published in The Advent in February 

1994. I have included it in this book. 

I am happy that Asha, Nayana and Sunandaben cooperated 

with me willingly by sharing their reminiscences. 

I express my sincere appreciation of the dedicated team 

ofAshram doctors, ourYogi Dr. Datta, Dr. Salrla, Dr. Gayatri 

Vishvabandhu and their staff, who were ever ready to serve 

Motiba and Bansidhar whenever needed; to Albertbhai, a 

Trustee of Sri Aurobindo Ashram, and Ashokbhai, who were 

associated with them from the early days and were always 

helpful to them; and to Janardan, Vidyutlata, Shyama, 

Mukundbhai, Chandidas and others, who served them silently. 

Kamalini was chosen by the Divine to serve Motiba and 

Bansidhar; she considered herself fortunate, for she said, "It 

was by serving them that I became conscious of the Mother's 

way of working. I cannot forget their touch and the love they 

showered on me." 

My sincere thanks to Apurva, Bob, Ganpatibhai and 

Sunjoy for their valuable help in this book. I also thank the 

Sri Aurobindo Ashram Trust, the Ashram Archives and the 

Ashram Press for their cooperation. 

Sri Aurobindo Ashram 

Pondicherry - 605 002 

January 2007 

ROSHAN

I: '" 

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£ 

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Part 1 

Melllories of Motiba

o Victorious power of divine Love, Thou art the sovereign 

Master of this universe, Thou art its creator and its 

saviour, Thou hast permitted it to emerge from chaos, and 

now Thou leadest it to its eternal goal. 

There is not a thing so humble but in it I see Thee 

resplendent, not a being apparently so hostile to Thy will 

but I feel Thee live in it and act and radiate. 

o my sweet Master, essence ofthis love, I am Thy heart, 

and the torrents of Thy love pass through the entirety of 

my being and flow out to awaken Thy love in all things 

or rather to awaken all things to the consciousness of Thy 

love which animates all. 

All those who do not recognise Thee, all those who do 

not know Thee, all those who try to tum away from Thy 

sweet and divine law, I take into my arms of love, I cradle 

them in my heart of love and offer them to Thy divine 

flames, so that penetrated by Thy miraculous effluence, 

they may be converted in Thy beatitude. 

o Love, resplendent Love, Thou penetratest, Thou 

transfigurest all. 

1 June 1914 THE MarHER

Motiba and Kamala

Champaklal's Dear Aunt Motiba 

Every time I saw Motiba, I was reminded of my childhood 

days, of my grandmother's care and affection. Like 

her, Motiba always caressed and blessed me with all her 

love and affection. 

Every phase of life has its own charm, even old age, if 

one knows how to see it. It is a charm that radiates humility, 

tender disinterested love, dedication and surrender. 

Motiba was a true symbol of it. She was pure-hearted, 

simple, loving, caring, happy, calm and detached. She 

poured her love and blessings on whoever visited her. How 

delightful it was to see her full of joy on her birthday. 

Champaklal used to remember his dearest Foiba with love 

and respect. 

Motiba arrived in theAshram with Champaklal's brother 

Kantilal on April 4, 1926 and remained here for the rest 

of her life. The Mother fixed her birthday as January 27. 

And so January 27, 1995 marked her centenary. Even at 

that age she continued doing all her household work herself, 

and sometimes her cooking too. About her weakened 

eyesight and hearing, she used to say with a smile: "How 

can I blame my eyes and ears? They have served me so 

well all these years." 

Such was our Motiba. She was the first member of the 

Sri Aurobindo Ashram to complete hundred and eleven 

years. During the final years of her life she stayed in 

Champaklal's room in the Ashram with his brother 

Bansidharji. She has often spoken fondly of Bansidharji's 

childhood days to me. When he passed away, it was an

6 Flame ofLove 

unbearable shock to her; she went into silence for many 

days. 

Motiba left her physical body on 21'1April 2006 very 

peacefully. 

.. Motiba's Recollections 

I always enjoyed asking Motiba questions about herself 

and her life in the Ashram. Her pet opening to her response 

was: " I don't remember much, my memory has faded. But 

I will try to tell you whatever I can." I give here some 

interesting selections from her replies using, as far as 

possible, her own words. 

Will you please tell m e about your childhood and 

early life before you came to the Ashram? 

My father's name was Nathuram, my mother's name was 

Mooriben and our surname Tarwadi. We were Modh Brahmins. 

My father used to read the Puranas and do Yajnas 

and Havans. Being a priestly family, our economic condition 

was quite ordinary. Our family Deity was Galleshwar 

Mahadev, though we also worshipped Sri Krishna. Several 

times our family witnessed miraculous and wonderful 

blessings of Galleshwar Mahadev. 

I lost my father at the age of six. I ·was married when 

I was only eight. My mother died within six months of my 

marriage. I went to my in-laws when I was fifteen and 

became a widow the next year. My husband Amthalal 

suddenly fell ill after returning from Bombay and died at

Champaklal 's Dear Aunt Motiba 7 

the age of twenty-five on Mahashivaratri. My five sisters 

died one after another. I was the youngest daughter of my 

parents. My younger brother Mafatlal passed away at the 

age of eighteen. 

I was terribly shocked by this series of untimely deaths 

of my near and dear ones and gradually lost all interest in 

life. Champaklal was very dear to me, but he had already 

settled in the Pondicherry Ashram. 

How did you decide to go to Pondicherry? 

After Champaklal had settled permanently in Pondicherry, 

I decided to go there. I wrote a letter to Sri Aurobindo, 

asking for hispermission to come. When I was living in 

Patan I had a darshan of him and the Mother in a vision. 

In it, I saw Sri Aurobindo walking continuously in the room 

where he used to walk and the Mother standing on the steps 

of the house's staircase. Champaklal talked to the Mother 

about this vision and about my wish to stay in theAshram. 

I had already sent my photograph. 

You would find it very interesting to know how things 

got arranged for me. In Patan it had been decided to get 

Champaklal engaged to my sister-in-law. But Champaklal 

was firrnly against marriage and did not want to leave the 

Ashram. So my relatives sent me with Kantilal to explain 

the situation to him and take him back .to Patan - but 

instead I stayed back in the Ashram! First I stayed in a 

room in the Atelier, then in the Balcony house, and finally 

in the Post Office house. Now I live here in Champaklal's 

room.


I saw the Mother for the first time in this room itself, 

because in those days the Mother was staying in this rOOITl. 

For the first six rnonths I lived at my own expense. Then 

one day Mother called me and asked, "Do you want to 

stay here permanently?" "Yes Mother," I replied; "if you 

permit me." Thereafter Mother used to give me thirty 

rupees a month for my expenses. 

Did your relatives try to persuade you to go back to 

your house in Patan? 

Yes, I received many letters, messages and telegrams from 

them. Finally Sri Aurobindo wrote a letter to them and they 

never called me again. Let me show it to you. 

Sri Aurobindo's Letter 

"Motiba is quite happy here and she is progressing very 

well in her sadhana. If she goes away from here, the 

progress will be stopped and much of what she has gained 

may be lost. An intensive and concentrated sadhana once 

begun has to be persistently continued in the right atmosphere. 

Ifit is kept up only for a short time and then dropped 

for another kind of life in which the concentration 

is diffused and weakened, there is no likelihood of 

* Charnpaklal told me that Motiba's correspondence w ith Sri 

Aurobindo and the Mother was very interesting. Unfortunately, it has 

not been found.

Champaklal's Dear Aunt Motiba 9 

fruition. For this reason we would disapprove of her departure." 

What work did the Mother give y o u? 

Initially, the ironing of Sri Aurobindos and the Mother's 

clothes. I was instructed by Datta, the English lady who 

accompanied the Mother here. Later, I was also given the 

work ofwashing Sri Aurobindo's and the Mother's clothes. 

I had the privilege of washing them twice a day and this 

is how I also got my Lord's darshan twice a day. First when 

I went to his and the Mother's bathrooms in the morning 

to collect the clothes, and the second time when I went to 

return the cleaned clothes in the evening. The Mother 

always gave me a sweet srriile. I went to Sri Aurobindos 

room in the evening to put h is Dhoti there. At first I used 

to place it outside his room. Later on, the Mother permitted 

me to place it inside. In those days Sri Aurobindo kept 

walking to and fro in his room. As soon as I opened the 

door, he would switch on the light and I would place his 

Dh.oti inside. [Here, Foiba showed me the art offolding 

the Dhoti in a special manner.] After his accident, there 

were more clothes to wash every day. 

Once I fell ill and was sent to the Nursing Home. The 

Mother enquired about my health every day. When I came 

back from the Nursing Home, I went to see her. She blessed 

me and said, "You will remain like this." To me this meant 

that I would be active even in myoId age. And this has 

come true by the Mother's Grace , for I am moving around 

and working even today.


Once I got a bad cough. Sri Aurobindo noticed it and 

told the Mother. She herself prepared a soup for me and 

sent it through someone. Mother knew that I might refuse 

to take it, so she also sent Champaklal with a tablet. I was 

reluctant to take the soup but when Champaklal explained 

why it would help me, I took the soup and tablet. With 

that one tablet my cough disappeared! Since then that tablet 

became very .p o p ular in the A shram. 

After Sri Aurobindos Mahasamadhi, Champaklal did 

not eat for five days. The Mother herself made him drink 

a glass of juice. 

After Sri Aurobindo left his body, I was allowed to go 

to his room every day for meditation. Our Gracious Mother 

always allowed me to sit as long as I wished. 

What other work was given to you? 

We had no se r van ts in those early days. T here was only 

self-help. So I used to cook for B ansid har as well as myself. 

Sometimes I cooked for Sri Aurobindo too. 

What did y o u prepare for Sri Aurobindo? 

Bhajias (p a ko d as) made from ajwain leaves, potato-vadas 

and s m a ll sweet pudlas (pancakes). He liked the pudlas 

very much and used to eat a good number ofthem. Of the 

bhajias , potato-vadas and purrs, h e used to eat only two or 

three. Once he got some kidney trouble and Mother stopped 

his eating the s weet pudlas. So I made pudlas without sugar, 

but he did not like them. Every day, at about four in the

Ch.ampaklal :s Dear Aunt Motiba 11 

afternoon I used to take walnuts, cashews, almonds and 

raisins fried in ghee for him to his room. 

Once I presented to him a handkerchief woven by me 

with golden thread. He used to keep it with him on the 

darshan days. 

Didyou practise meditation when you were in Patan? 

Yes. I meditated, read the Gita, and the Bhagavat Purana; 

I also did japa. Once Lele*, the Maharashtrian yogi, visited 

our house. He advised me to read Bhaktiyoga, the 

twelfth chapter of the Gita. He never ate food prepared by 

other people, and usually only took fruits. But once when 

he was staying at our neighbour Ramlals bungalow, he 

said, "If Moti prepares the food, I will eat it." So that day 

I cooked for him. Charnpaklal and Lele took lunch together. 

Did you have any spiritual experience with Lele? 

Yes, I saw light on his head when I first met him. 

Any other experiences? 

Yes, I had many experiences, but I cannot describe them 

to you. My experience of seeing Light started at the age 

of seventeen. I saw a Light when my younger brother 

Mafatlal expired in Patan. 

* Vishnu Bhaskar Lele. See Champaklal Speaks, Third edition, 

pp. 31-35.


When Champaklal left his body in J antral I saw a Light 

and heard his voice telling me, "Foiba, I am leaving." When 

Bansidhar was ready to leave for Jantral, he was hesitant 

to break the news of Champaklal' s demise to me, but I 

said to him, HI know it. " 

I had an experience in the Playground on the day 

before Sri Aurobindo left his body. I had gone there to see 

the temple of the Mother arranged by the children, but I 

could not enjoy the programme. There was a constant 

feeling that Sri Aurobindo would leave his body soon. 

I used to see visions quite often. In meditation I often 

saw Sri Aurobindo, the Mother and Lord Krishna. Once 

I saw the Mother as Amba Mataji. Whenever I was unwell 

I always saw the Mother's hand on my head. 

Did you go to Sri Aurobindo and the Mother daily 

for Pranam? 

Yes, whenever I went for Pranam Sri Aurobindo put his 

whole hand on my head but the Mother just touched it. 

Why did the Mother only touch your head? Didn't 

she love y o u ? 

No, no! Mother loved me equally, as much as Sri 

Aurobindo! She only touched my head so that my ego 

would not grow. 

Will y o u tell me about your experiences on the 

Darshan days?

Champaklal's Dear Aunt Motiba 13 

The Darshan days! [Motiba's face became suffused with 

joy.] How can I describe something indescribable? When 

Sri Aurobindo put his hand on my head, I felt a deep peace. 

His touch was soft, velvety, featherlike. I did not want to 

raise my head! 

As we can see Motiba had done an intensive and concentrated 

sadhana throughout her life. She was for me, the 

ideal example of a sincere sadhika. One felt peace, light 

and love in her presence. 

My heartfelt gratitude goes to her for all the help she 

has been on the way. 

ROSHAN 

To be receptive is to feel the urge to give and 

the joy of giving to the Divine's work all one 

has, all one is, all one does. 

The Mother

Sweet Memories 

My earliest memories of Motiben - Foiba as I have 

always known her - are those of a strictly disciplined 

sadhika: not very communicative, very quiet and reserved, 

ever concentrated only on her assigned work. She always 

dressed in a spotlessly white Ashram sari, draped in her 

native Gujarati style and cowling her head. 

In the last two decades, I found her completely mel- 

lowed down - at all times she would be full of love and 

aff ection . But most apparent was her unshakable faith, love 

and adoration for Sri Aurobindo and the Mother. She would 

te II us that often Sri Aurobindo and the Mother, and sometimes 

Sri Krishna, came and talked to her. This was, she 

said, mainly because she was living in the room that Mother 

herselfhad once occupied. I remember her telling me once 

that Sri Aurobindo had come that morning and enquired 

after her health. Sometimes, however, people around her 

would see her gesticulating angrily, as if at some invisible 

being, ordering it to go away. Who were those beings or 

forces has never been known, because she never responded 

to questions on that subject. 

Foiba had her own way of showering her blessings and 

offering guidance. For instance, she always told us to do 

japa of Sri Aurobindo and the Mother. "Never forget them 

even for a moment," she would emphasize. "F or, one day 

we shall have to leave everything in this world and go, and 

at that time they alone will be with us. Always remember 

them and pray for their guidance and protection." 

Foiba possessed a deep and vast w isdom which gave

Sweet Memories 17 

her an inner eye to know and comprehend all who came 

to her. She would catch the person's vibrations and thoughts 

but kept a perfect control over her own reactions to them; 

nothing in her conversations or expressions revealed what 

she had seen or understood. 

She was wont to burst into devotional songs, often 

singing her bhajans for hours together. Even at a hundred 

and eleven, her memory, I must say, was just fantastic. The 

atmosphere created by her pure and unalloyed bhakti has 

turned me into a lifelong devotee ofFoiba. I gratefully bow 

to her boundless faith and her immeasurable inner development. 

There is another thing I recall with great pleasure. 

Although Foiba never asked anyone for anything, there 

would appear an unforgettable sparkle in her eyes when 

she was presented with something she liked or needed. 

'Thank you, thank you, thank you very much," she would 

say. It was a sparkle that thrilled us to the very core and 

made us grateful for the opportunity of witnessing it. 

I bow down once again to the great souls who offered 

themselves so absolutely to Sri Aurobindo and the Mother. 

I pray to the Mother and Sri Aurobindo to grant us the 

strength, courage, and complete faith to be able to follow 

their luminous footsteps to reach the Goal. 

ASHA KOTHARI

Four brothers 

Kantilal. Sunderlal, Champaklal. Bunsidhar, 28 February 1932

Foiba, as I Know Her 

If you have the power of observation you can find this 

world full of enthralling personalities and circumstances. 

There are those who want to be forever basking in the 

blessed innocence of children; there are those who prefer 

the fragrant ambience of beautiful flowers - of all-absorbing 

nature; there are those who choose always the 

invigorating company of the youth, their brilliant creative 

talents; and finally, there are those who seek the boundless 

peace and purifying presence of the spiritually advanced. 

I have been very fortunate to discover the place where 

all these sought-after things, in fact, everything you really 

need, exist together, at the same time. It is Sri Aurobindo's 

Ashram at Pondicherry - a creation ofthe Divine Mother. 

And here, I have found a most extraordinary personage, 

and that is Foiba (the paternal aunt) of Champaklalbhai. 

and Bansidharbhai. Of the hundred and eleven years that 

she passed on earth, I was in contact with her only in the 

last forty-five during which I had many an interesting experience 

of her nature and attainments, and she became 

my Foiba also. 

The most significant of the Divine Mother's messages 

that Foiba tirelessly reiterated to us children taking their 

first faltering steps on the long and difficult path of the 

Integral Yoga was, to put it in her Gujarati, 

Jeevan-ma apan-ne matra ekaj vastunijaroor baniraho 

- Prabhu-no sakshatkara. "Let there be only one need in 

our life: the realisation of the Divine."


Foiba was "Great", I cannot find words adequate enough 

to describe her. So many times Foiba and I have communicated 

with each other without words. And we reached 

so much understanding because ofthe transparency oflove 

and understanding that grew between us. Of course, she 

was always perfectly spontaneous with everyone, living 

at every moment in her true self. But by the Divine 

Mother's Grace she gave me a special place not only in 

her home but also in her heart and life. 

Foiba's words used to come to me like Arjuns arrows, 

always hitting the right spot. Forceful words that always 

reached where they had to reach. Haven't you felt an arrow 

of her quiver flying out with all her love from her bow? 

Once, in my early days, in 1960, I told her, "Foiba, I 

don't like Pondicherry, but I am so happy that I have seen 

the Divine Mother and I am here. I have all around me 

love from my family, as well as from you and your family; 

and what is most important is that the Mother has 

received me with so much love and has blessed me. I feel 

like ' a fish in the water', for there is nothing which is 

missing in life. In short, I am very happy in spite o f all the 

other troubles that are there. Why?" 

Then she told me one of her experiences: HI had come 

here only to find out why Champaklal was not returning 

home; why he continued to be in Pondicherry. But so great 

was my feeling after seeing Sri Aurobindo that I could 

never go back." 

I said, " F o ib a, you must have felt this place as I am now 

feeling it - Paradise on Earth. But then, after experiencing 

such a lofty Joy, why are these troubles still bothering

Foiba, as I Know Her 21 

me? They should not!" Then she sang two lines ofa popular 

Bhajan of poet Preetam: 

Hari-no maarag chche shoorano, 

nahi kayara-nu kaam jone 

Partham pahela mastaq mooki 

varati lejo naam jone. 

"The path leading to the Lord is for the warrior; no place 

in it for cowards; 

Offer up your head at his feet first, if you wish to utter 

his name effectively." 

Most people here know that Foiba had a lucid memory. 

Up to the very end she remained clear-headed, graceful 

and strong. Above all she loved singing Bhajans. Whenever 

she spoke or sang, the truth behind her words leaped 

out and reached where it had to reach and served its purpose 

very welL She always gave me the feeling that she could 

clearly see my inner being and how I needed her unselfish 

love to progress in life. 

Foiba used to have many experiences, visions and 

dreams. And often she would narrate them to me. She liked 

me to read to her from certain books and I enjoyed reading 

them to her. During that time we would both forget the 

passage of time. We enjoyed those satsangs and always I 

returned from her room with an immense joy, filled with 

a nourishing food for my soul. 

A recent incident has left a deep impression on me. It 

shall remain vibrantly alive in my memory. I shall try to


narrate the whole episode exactly as it happened, but I am 

not sure if I will succeed in expressing it fully. However, 

1 am very happy to share my experience with others. 1 am 

sure there are people on this earth endowed with the insight 

to understand properly the language ofLove and Faith 

for which words are not the true medium. The following 

narration is just an attempt at expressing them. 

Once, while Foiba was thinking of Lord Rama, 

Hanuman came and sat beside her on her cot. After sometime 

Sri Aurobindo also came and stood in front of her. 

Then Hanuman was asked to leave and he went away. 

While relating this experience, Foiba seemed overwhelmed 

with happiness, for she had had the darshan of 

the Lord. Whenever she talked about Sri Aurobindo one 

could see how everything was vibrantly alive in her - Joy, 

Force, Health, etc. She lived in Eternity and was rejuvenated 

by the Darshan of her Majestic Master. After hearing 

her experience 1 took the liberty of asking her, "Why 

did Hanuman have to leave after the coming of Sri 

Aurobindo? If they both were there with you, you would 

have been happier, isn't it?" She was engrossed in her experience 

and did not answer but 1 persisted, "Why was 

Hanuman asked to leave when Sri Aurobindo came?" Since 

1 stuck to my question, she was forced to answer. 

She told me with firmness and politeness the words that 

Sri Aurobindo had uttered, Hoon chchu ne? "I am with 

you always." 

Only three words but how powerful and forceful! 

There are many other incidents and conversations which 

may sound like common-place happenings, but when

Foiba, as I Know Her 23 

understood deeply were profound and great experiences, 

powerful enough to quench one's thirst for the higher life 

of love, truth, purity, dedication, totality, in all the activities 

of one's daily life. 

I consider myself very fortunate that I was closely 

associated with Foiba. Practice, thorough and integral, 

was the aim of her life. Never could one feel uncomfortable 

with her. 

NAYANA ZAVERI 

Grant, I implore Thee: that all in my being may be 

identified with Thee. May I be nothing else any more 

than aflame ofLove utterly awakened to a supreme 

realisation of Thee. 

The Mother

Grace on Motiben * 

Mother said to me this morning: HIf I give the Bulletin to 

Motiben will she like it? Do you think she will be happy? 

I will give it for the pictures; she can see them." Mother 

knew that my aunt does not know English. 

C: "Mother, as you are giving, you can give her the Hindi 

edition." 

Mother: "I don't have it but I will ask Jayantilal,"! 

Later, when Mother came for SriAurobindos lunch, she 

informed him: "Motiben has offered a very pretty silver 

fork for you. Today is her birthday." 

Sri Aurobindo smiled and said: HOh!" 

Then Mother asked Chinrnayee to bring that fork. But 

pointing to the one which was already there, Chinmayee 

said: "Mother, this one also is of silver." 

Mother: "Yes. But the new one is pretty and today is 

her birthday; bring that." 

Thus Chinmayee was obliged to bring the fork offered 

by Motiben. Mother placed it in Sri Aurobindo's hand. He 

took it with a smile and said: HOh ... oh!" 

It was a treat for me to watch how the Grace worked. 

27 January 1950 CHAMPAKLAL 

* Champaklal Speaks, Third edition, p . 198. 

1. Jayantilal Parekh (1913-99) studied art in Shantiniketan before 

j oi ning the Ashram in 1938. He served the Ashram in various capacities 

before the Mother entrusted h im with the responsibility of setting up and 

organising the Ashram's Archives and Research Library. See Mothe r India 

1999, p. 442; and Mother India 2000, pp. 224-25, 295-98, 383-86.

''My Water Saree" 

Long back, Foiba had offered a very light-weight golden 

tissue saree to the Mother. It was one of her own sarees 

that had been used by her. It was soft and woven with white 

horizontal lines across the length of the saree. 

The Mother liked it very much and wore it quite often. 

As we know, the Mother stopped wearing sarees after 

1950. But later in 1955, She was offered a Ruby Crown 

and She wore once again a saree for the special Puja 

Darshan. 

Whenever She selected the saree for a particular 

day, She preferred a light weight, soft and delicate one, 

but ofcourse, She would also wear any which was offered 

lovingly. 

It seems, She wore Foiba's saree at least two or 

three times between 1955 and 1958. And every time She 

had specially asked for it. Lovingly She would caress the 

saree and called it, "My Water Saree". 

SUNANDA 

Fill our hearts with the delight of Thy love. 

Flood our minds w ith the splendour of Thy light. 

Grant that we may effectuate Thy victory! 

The Mother

Part 2 

Memories of Bansidhar

Painting given by the Mother to Bansidhar 

on his birthday, 21 February 1949

Like a flame that burns in silence, like a perfume that rises 

straight upward without wavering, my love goes to Thee; 

and like the child who does not reason and has no care, 

I trust myself to Thee that Thy Will may be done, that Thy 

Light may manifest, Thy Peace radiate, Thy Love cover 

the world. When Thou willest I shall be in Thee, Thyself, 

and there shall be no more any distinction; I await that 

blessed hour without impatience ofany kind, letting myself 

flow irresistibly toward it as a peaceful stream flows toward 

the boundless ocean. 

Thy Peace is in me, and in that Peace I see Thee alone 

present in everything, with the calm of Eternity. 

7 December 1912 THE MarHER

My Early Golden Days * 

My father was a Purani, a Brahmin whose profession was 

to read from the Puranas, our mythological scriptures and 

teach them to others. In the evenings, after our supper, we 

used to sit in the verandah of our house. My elder brother 

and I had to recite the multiplication table as was our 

custom. After that ritual was over, my father related to us 

stories from the Puranas. Thus I got acquainted w ith th e 

stories from the Mahabharata and the Ramayana. Of all . 

the stories that I listened to, I liked most the stories of 

Dhruva and Prahlad, and so like them I aspired to have the 

realisation of God. 

When I was studying at the school my thoughts often 

turned to Dhruva and Prahlad. I wondered about their not 

being educated and yet having realisation of God. I al so 

believed that all studies were of no use, unless one could 

realise God. The only Truth seemed to lie there. 

When I was young, I was aware that one of my elder 

brothers, Champaklal, lived at Pondicherry with Sri 

Aurobindo, As I grew up a little more and went to High 

School, I could clearly understand that my brother 

Champaklal, living at Pondicherry with Sri Aurobindo, was 

pursuing Yoga Sadhana for the realisation of God. About 

the time, I learned that my elder brother Kantilal and my 

aunt (Father's sister) Motiben were to go to Pondicherry. 

Since I was attending school, I was unable to express my 

* Bansidhar's own reminiscence s. Bansidhar was Champaklal's 

youngest brother. Born on 21 January 1908 a t Patan, Gujarat, he left 

hi s phy sical body on 25 September 2005.

Bansidhar

My Early Golden Days 31 

wish to go to Pondicherry! After about six months, a man 

named Vadilal, who was a close friend ofrny elder brother 

Sunderlal, came to our place from Bombay. Vadilalbhai 

had a great affection for me. I told him that I wanted to 

g o to Bombay with him and asked him whether he would 

take me there with him. He said it would be his pleasure 

to do so. 

After getting things arranged for going to Bombay, I 

had to obtain permission to do so from my parents. I was. 

the youngest of four brothers and they all had a great 

affection for me. Since I was the pet child, everyone wanted 

to keep me happy. This is why I got the permission to go 

to Bombay. I did reach Bombay, but my main interest lay 

in going to Pondicherry. So I immediately wrote to my 

brother Kantilal about my wish to go to Pondicherry. I g o t 

the permission and arrived at Pondicherry on 8 November 

1927. 

During those days the Mother used to call a few sadhaks 

to the Prosperity room for meditation. After the meditation 

was over she passed through Champaklal's room on 

the way to her room upstairs. So I had a Darshan of the 

Mother on the very day of my arrival in Champaklal's 

room. I saw in her the form of the Divine Mother. I w a s 

greatly delighted. 

During those days the Mother, Champaklal and about 

three or four s ad hak s used to stroll on the terrace during 

the e a rl y morning hours. After moving about a bit, 

Haradhan used to blow his conch as a signal to the sadhaks 

living in the houses around that the Mother had come 

downstairs and it was meditation time. In the beginning I


had no permission to participate in the meditation session. 

So, after offering my pranams to the Mother, having her 

Darshan and receiving a flower from her, I used to return 

to my room. After a few days Champaklal told me that Sri 

Aurobindo would give his Darshan for the first time on 

the 24th of November and the Mother had given her permission 

for me to stay till then. 

At that time there were about thirty to thirty-five sadhaks 

in the Ashram. All the names were listed and each one had 

to go for Darshan in his turn. Everyone was told not to 

take more than fi ve minutes for the Darshan. A copy of 

the list of the sadhaks was kept with Sri Aurobindo, so 

that he knew who would come in what order for the 

Darshan. 

Some days after the Darshan, Champaklal told me that 

I had to go back home. I broke into tears at this news. 

Champaklal told the Mother about this. Hearing about my 

crying the Mother gave her permission for me to stay on 

and also to work with Champaklal in the mornings and 

with Kantibhai in the garden in the evenings. 

I was very delighted at the good fortune of getting 

permission to stay and having been allotted work. But my 

human nature raised its head after a few months! I did like 

the work in the garden, but questions arose in my mind: 

"Even after coming to the Ashram, only this work of 

watering th e trees in the g arden has been given to me! 

Would it not be better to render some personal se r vice to 

the Mother? It would be the fulfilment of my dreams if I 

could do some personal work for the Mother." Somehow, 

either as a result of my aspiration or the Grace of the


Mother, there arose a vacancy. Haradhan,* who was working 

in Mother's room and her bathroom, went back to 

Bengal. Through the Grace of the Mother Kantibhai got 

to work in the bathroom and I was given work in the 

Mother's room. Thus the Mother fulfilled my wish. 

There are many other incidents of the Mother fulfilling 

my wishes. Do you want to know how some of my 

wishes were fulfilled by the Mother? I will give a few 

instances. I wanted very much to offer flowers to the 

Mother. How did this come to be arranged? I used to stand 

in Champaklal's room when the Mother returned from the 

Prosperity to her room via his room. Well, one day I was 

standing there and when she passed through the room 

I started offering flowers to the Mother. She accepted 

them with great love and the practice continued from that 

day. 

Again, I had a great desire to work for Sri Aurobindo. 

The Mother used to distribute soup to all the sadhaks in 

the evening. Sri Aurobindo also took soup in his room. 

This soup was being prepared by Champaklal, but the work 

ofcleaning and cutting the vegetables for making the soup 

for Sri Aurobindo was given to me. I may mention that the 

vegetables cooked for Sri Aurobindo and the sadhaks were 

purchased from Madras. Cabbage, leek, celery and carrots 

were being received in a parcel from Madras. A bill 

also came along with the parcel. I used to check the bill. 

* Haradhan B akshi from Chandemagore (B en g al ) first came to 

Pondicherry fo r a short visit in 1916. He was a soldier in the First World 

War ( 19 14- 19 18) . H e settled in the Ashram on 30 December 1930. (See 

M other India, 1996, "Haradhan-da" , pp. 55-59.)


Now there was a shop here where the shopkeeper used get 

all his vegetables from Bangalore. I found that the cabbages 

from Bangalore were cheaper than the cabbages from 

Madras. I told this to the Mother. Afterwards, under her 

instructions I used to go to the local bazaar every week 

and purchase all the vegetables needed. The vegetables 

were shown to the Mother, who examined them with great 

interest. The payment was done by Dyuman. 

I was very fond of taking a long walk every day. I used 

to go for a walk every evening. Even while walking I 

continuously remembered the Mother. I considered this a 

part of my sadhana. Once when I was just starting for a 

walk, the Mother's car carne from behind. The Mother saw 

me, and had the car stopped. I offered my Pranams to her. 

She asked me where I was going. "For a walk," I replied, 

and told her where. The Mother told Champaklal that I 

was going rather a very long distance for a walk. I then 

offered some flowers to the Mother. Seeing the flowers 

the Mother asked me "Do you want all this?" I nodded in 

assent. The Mother told me "I will give you ALL THIS but 

not the flowers." I understood with my modest intelligence 

that the Mother would give me all that was signified by 

the flowers but not the flowers themselves. I was greatly 

delighted. 

In those days unlike now, the Ashram was under financial 

stringency. There were some difficulties on that account. 

I wondered how I could be of help to the Ashram 

in this matter. During those days all the sadhaks had alarm 

clocks. When anything went wrong with them, they were 

sent to the bazaar for repair. I felt that if I learned watch


repairing. I could be useful to the Ashram. I told this to 

the Mother. She then spoke to Amrita who arranged for 

me to learn watch-repairing from a watch repairer in the 

bazaar. After that, all the watch repairs in the Ashram were 

done by me. The Mother got repairing tools from France 

for my use. Now. of course. this work is being done by 

other sadhaks. 

As mentioned, after Haradhan left for Bengal. I was 

given work in the Mother's room. I was doing the work 

with great joy. A few days after starting to work. a significant 

event took place. As you know. biscuit boxes are 

wrapped in special paper to prevent moisture from creeping 

in and also to give the box a good appearance. One 

day, such a piece of wrapping paper was lying on the 

Mother's table. The paperhad not been folded, but simply 

kept there after removing it from the box. While cleaning 

the room. I thought, "What is the use of keeping such 

paper? The Mother has many other better papers." So I 

threw the paper into the wastepaper basket. In those days 

the Mother used to see some sadhaks in the mornings, in 

the Darshan Room. When she returned from the Darshan 

Room and asked me about that piece of paper, I told her 

that I had thrown it into the wastepaper basket. Hearing 

this the Mother got displeased, almost like Kali. She told 

me, "If it has to be thrown away, I know where to throw 

it and when to throw it away." I felt very sad, and even 

started crying. But that is how I learnt that however useless 

a thing might seem. it should not be thrown away. 

There is always a use for it somewhere. 

While I was working for the Mother in her room. a lady


named Datta,* who had come with the Mother from Europe, 

was working in her dressing room. Once Datta fell 

sick, so the Mother entrusted her work to me. I was very 

happy and started doing the work with enthusiasm. 

There is a kind of bottle in which the base is not attached 

to the cover. I had never seen such a bottle. Once 

I picked up one of these bottles and the cover remained 

in my hand while the big bottle fell down and broke into 

pieces. The bottle contained perfume imported from 

France, which spilled all over the place. The whole room 

was filled with the scent of the perfume. The Mother was 

giving Darshan to the sadhaks in the adjacent room. I was 

afraid that ifthe Mother would get annoyed like the wrathful 

Kali for throwing away a piece of paper, what would 

happen to me now? I got very depressed, took out my 

handkerchief and wiped away the traces of the scent as far 

as I could. But the scent must have reached the Mother, 

and soon she came. She asked me, "What happened?" I 

told her quite candidly. She replied, "Doesn't matter 

nothing to worry about; sometimes these things happen 

while working." The Mother gave me a beautiful Mahalaxmi 

smile and left the place. She didn't simply go away, 

but sent a message through Champaklal saying, "Tell 

Bansidhar not to worry. At times such things can happen 

* Datta (Entirely self-given), is the name given by Sri Aurobindo 

to Dorothy Hodgson, an Englishwoman. Even in Europe she was a 

companion to the Mother and travelled with her to several countries 

including Japan. The Mother once remarked, "The very sight of this 

lady was indeed a pleasure; she seemed to us a pure white flower 

consecrated to the Di vine."


in the course of the work:' What a Grace! She had already 

told me not to worry and then she conveyed the same 

message through Champaklal. My devotion for the Mother 

increased tremendously and I got a firm beliefin her being 

the Divine Mother. 

In those days no question arose about how many hours' 

work one was doing. Only one aim - to do as much work 

as possible. The whole day passed doing something or the 

other. Not only me but all the sadhaks were interested in 

doing as much work as we could for Sri Aurobindo and 

the Mother. One did not know how the day passed. While 

doing the work, numerous occasions arose for meeting the 

Mother. In the early morning the Mother herself served us 

breakfast, so even at that time we had her Darshan. Then 

I had Darshan when I went to her room for work. Then 

at about four in the afternoon when the Mother went for 

a drive in her car, we had her Darshan. When she returned 

from her drive, there was yet another occasion for her 

Darshan. But I couldn't be present then, because the time 

ofher return varied and I had to go for work in the garden. 

Of course, the garden was very near. It was situated at the 

Atelier where the cars are kept and repaired at present. The 

first to work in that garden was ChampaklaI. At that time 

the garden had great importance because the sadhaks who 

went for Darshan of the Mother took flowers from there. 

Also the Mother used to distribute flowers to the sadhaks 

after the meditation. She had given significances to the 

various flowers; so the sadhaks were interested in receiving 

them. Every Sadhak usually got a particular flower, 

but sometimes she gave the same kind of flower to all. To


me she gave the flower named "Disinterested work" almost 

every time. 

By the Mother's Grace and Champaklal's help I had the 

opportunity ofdoing another satisfying work. I was given 

the work of cleaning the dishes used by the Mother and 

Sri Aurobindo. Sri Aurobindo used to take tea at night and 

I would collect the d ishes sometime in the morning. 

Motiben prepared pancakes (malpuwa) for Sri Aurobindo 

for taking with his tea. The dishes sent by Motiben included 

the bowl in which he used to keep a portion of the pancakes 

for us as Prasad. Motiben cut the pancakes into small 

pieces so we could all receive a small share ofthe Prasad. 

I may say something more about the Prasad. In those 

days Sri Aurobindo's younger brother Barin-da* used to 

cook for him. After Sri Aurobindo had his lunch, the leftovers 

were brought downstairs. F rom them Barin-da used 

to take a portion and the rest was sent to Haradhan as 

Prasad. Haradhan used to stay in the room where Madhav 

Pandit's books are displayed at present. Haradhan would 

distribute what he received as Prasad to a few sadhaks who 

would gather in his room to receive it. One Bengali sadhak 

used to send cooked food for Sri Aurobindo. Sometimes 

my brother Kantibhai and I would also lend our hand in 

preparing it. Dara " has taken photographs of that 

* Barindra Kumar Ghose, Sri Aurobindos younger brother. Sentenced 

to imprisonment in the Alipore Bomb Case in 1908, he w as 

released from the Andamans in 1920. He came to stay in Pondicherry 

in 1923 and remained until 25 December 1929. 

** Dara is the name given by Sri Aurobindo to Aga Syed Ibrahim 

from Hyderabad. From a well-to-do Arab Muslim family, hejoined the 

Ashram in 1927.


occassion. He gave me some. He was fond of photography 

and cooking. When it pleased him, Dara also did some 

cooking himself. He always prepared something new. 

Those days were feast days for the sadhaks ofthe Ashram. 

He was always very generous and jolly. He was a permanent 

sadhak of the Ashram. 

My brother Champaklal had great love for me. I have 

been deeply benefited by his good feelings towards me. 

He used to prepare orange juice for Sri Aurobindo and on 

many occasions he let me carry thatjuice to Sri Aurobirido. 

I cherish those invaluable moments of my life. Champaklal 

used to prepare tea for Sri Aurobindo and took it himself 

to the Mother, who then gave it to Sri Aurobindo. After 

some time this privilege was given to me. I had to prepare 

the tea by 8.00 in the everring. When I opened the door of 

the passage, the Mother used to come there and take the 

tea pot from me. Sri A urobindo added sugar and milk 

. before drinking it. At -n ig h t he used to write replies to the 

letters sent by sadhaks and then he took his tea. I believe 

the tea used at that time was Chinese because it came in 

Chinese boxes; later on it was the turn of the Indian tea. 

In the morning I would bring back the tea-pot with the 

dishes to be used for breakfast. 

It was Nolini-da who often returned the letters of the 

sadhaks with Sri Aurobindos replies. But there was an 

exception. Dyuman used to send his notebook to Sri 

Aurobindo regularly in the evening. After Sri Aurobindo 

had seen and recorded his remarks, this note-book would 

be kept on the breakfast tray, and I took it back to Dyuman. 

Hutaben used to write letters to the Mother and most


of the replies were sent back through Champaklal. Later 

on, after consulting the Mother the replies were given to 

me for handing over to Hutaben, which I did. In this way, 

when replies were written by the Mother, the letters were 

given to me for handing over to the concerned persons. 

When I went to the sadhaks with the divine letters, they 

sometimes insisted on my taking refreshments which I 

politely but firmly declined. Champaklal told the Mother 

about this and the Mother was glad to take note of it. 

Perhaps this is why the work remained with me for a long 

time. 

I have already said earlier that I was fond of going for 

a walk. Once when I went for a walk it started raining. I 

should have returned, but I did not. Due to the cold at night 

and the rain, I caught fever. Champaklal informed the 

Mother. She said, "Those who are working here for the 

Divine have no right to fall sick." Fortunately I got well 

in a few days and resumed my work. 

I would like to say what a pleasure it was to do the 

Mother's work during those times. I used to love to play 

tennis. I would go to play tennis daily. One day Charnpaklal 

told me that when the Mother sees sadhaks in the morning, 

I should sit on the terrace and send the sadhaks to the 

Mother in the order of the list he gave me each day. In 

spite of-my interest in tennis I gave it up with pleasure 

and, so long as the Mother continued the routine of seeing 

the sadhaks in this way, I sat each morning on the terrace 

and sent the sadhaks to her. 

I have mentioned that Champaklal had great affection 

for me and I have been greatly benefited as a result.

Champaklal and Bansidhar, 1986


Whenever Champaklal had any work for Sri Aurobindo or 

the Mother, he would entrust it to me rather than to someone 

else. Champaklal used to carry hot water for Sri 

Aurobindo's bath. After Sri Aurobindo's accident, 

Champaklal entrusted that work to me. I had to carry two 

big buckets of water upstairs from the boiler room. I 

wonder now sometimes, how I could carry two big buckets 

and climb all those steps. I guess it was because I had 

great enthusiasm for the work. It gave me the opportunity 

of having Darshan of Sri Aurobindo when I reached his 

room with the buckets. Sri Aurobindo used to give me a 

smile then and also when I returned for the buckets. At 

that time Sri Aurobindo was engrossed in writing Savitri 

and still he would spare a moment to smile at me. This 

gave me immense joy. 

Did I have the opportunity to listen to Sri Aurobindo's 

voice?Yes, many times. Champaklal used to wind the clock 

in his room before I had learned watch-repairing work. But 

after I learned watch-repairing that work was entrusted to 

me. The clock stood at some distance from where Sri 

Aurobindo used to .sit and he couldn't see the dial clearly 

during later years. So very often he would ask me the exact 

time. There was a radio installed in Pavitra's room during 

the War so that SriAurobindo could listen to it. Sometimes 

he would ask me to switch it on for him. 

The photographs of Sri Aurobindo and the Mother that 

we see these days were the result ofChampaklal's efforts. 

Somehow or other he succeeded in getting permission from 

the Mother. He also got permission to make copies of the 

photographs. The Mother refused to give her permission


to make copies of her photographs. At first Champaklal 

got her permission to make copies on the condition that 

the photographer should do no retouching work on them. 

Champaklal told the Mother that the photographer would 

prepare two copies of each of the photographs, one without 

retouching and the other with it. The Mother agreed. 

I had two copies made by the photographer Latour, a 

devotee of the Mother, who lived in the town. Latour 

worked a great deal on Sri Aurobindo's photograph, carefully 

retouching one copy but not the other. Champaklal 

showed both copies to the Mother. The Mother looked 

closely at the retouched photo and observed, "I am seeing 

such work done in India for the first time." The Mother 

appreciated that photograph very much and permitted 

copies of it to be made. After that all the photographs were 

prepared. In those days I used to have prints made and 

would sell them to the devotees. I charged two rupees for 

cabinet-size photographs, from which I paid one rupee to 

the photographer and one to the Mother. But first the 

Mother took these photographs to Sri Aurobindo for his 

signature and then returned them to me. Sometimes I 

received the signed photographs back directly from his 

hands. Later I also had smaller locket photographs made. 

I got the lockets made and gave the profit on their sale to 

the Mother. You might say that the Mother didn't receive 

much that way. But in those days every pice (one-sixty 

fourth of a rupee) was valuable for the Ashram. For example, 

the water which I used to spray in the garden was 

partially drawn up from the well by hand so that our water 

expenses might be reduced. In those days our service was

Sri Aurobindo 

(Touched-up photograph)


a source of great joy. We took no notice of the time while 

working. 

After his food Sri Aurobindo was given a cold drink 

and sometimes ice-cream. The Mother used to be present 

at that time whenever she could. But sometimes she was 

late due to her other responsibilities. Then after Sri 

Aurobindo's dinner, the opportunity to give cold drink 

came to me. I would sit near the door till his dinner was 

over and then bring a cold drink from the nearby frigidaire. 

Sometimes when the Mother came very late, Sri Aurobindo . 

would tell Champaklal to convey to the sadhaks downstairs 

that the day's meditation was cancelled because the Mother 

would not be there. She used to give this meditation after 

Sri Aurobindos dinner was over. But however long our 

duty lasted, we took no notice of time. To do work for the 

Mother was a pleasure. However late it might be, 

Champaklal, I, and Nirod-da waited in the passage for the 

Mother's return. And when she returned, she gave us a 

smile and that exhilarated us. 

BANSJDHAR 

Acc ep t the ardent flame of m y g ra tit ude and m y 

j oy ous and fully confident adherenc e. 

The Mother

Bansidhar and Photography* 

In those days the art ofphotography had not developed in 

the Ashram. Mother gave Bansidhar some of her pre 

Pondicherry photographs for reprinting. She insisted that 

while making new negatives the old copies must not be 

touched up. 

Bansidhar entrusted the work to Latour, son of the 

photographer who had taken Sri Aurobindo's photographs 

in the early years. He told him: "Make one negative without 

touching it up and one after touching up the old one. 

We shall show prints of both of them one after another to 

the Mother and order the required number of copies ofthe 

one Mother chooses." 

After seeing the touched-up copy intently and also from 

several angles, Mother liked it very much and said: "Very 

good, especially the eyes. He has touched it up a lot, but 

it is done very skilfully. It is the first time that I see such 

remarkable work in India."And she took it to SriAurobindo 

who also liked it. 

B: "Mother, Latour studied photography in France." 

Mother: "Hmm.... Beautiful work. Really good. You 

may order more copies of the touched up one." 

B: "Mother, others also would like to have copies." 

With Mother's permission, Bansidhar ordered more 

copies and sold them to those who wanted them. Needless 

to say, whatever money came from the sale was offered 

to the Mother. 

* Champaklal Speaks, Third edition, p. 118.

Bansidhar and Photography 47 

Later Bansidhar wrote a letter to Mother requesting her 

pennission to learn photography. Sri Aurobindo's reply 

came: "We are not planning to start a photography studio 

in the Ashram. It is not necessary to learn." Yet today we 

not only have studios but the art too has been highly 

developed. However, since Mother's time I have been 

getting all my photography work done by Latour. 

I relate this episode also to illustrate the fact that it does 

not make sense to say that Sri Aurobindo said this or that, 

just in order to fulfil one's desire or belief. 

23 July 1944 CHAMPAKLAL 

o Love, divine Love, spread abroad in the world, 

regenerate life, enlighten the intelligence, break 

the barriers of egoism, scatter the obstacles of 

ignorance, shine resplendent as sovereign Master 

of the earth. 

The Mother

Our Bansimama 

Bansidhar-ji - Bansimama as I have always known him 

since my childhood - was a close friend and well-wisher 

of Vaidya Kesarimalji, my grandmother's brother who 

was a disciple of Punamchandbhai, one of the early 

disciples of Sri Aurobindo. My grandmother asked 

Punamchandbhai, way back in the 1920s, to take her only 

son, my father, to Sri Aurobindo Ashram. That, I have 

learned, was how our family was introduced to the Mother 

and Sri Aurobindo. And this is how both Kesarimalji and 

Bansidharji had always been our mamas, maternal uncles, 

to us five children. 

When our mother fell seriously ill and had to go to 

Calcutta for a long treatment, the Mother asked Bansimama 

to become our guardian. I have always found him a very 

loving person. He used to buy lots of mangoes for us in 

the season, and, on our birthdays, bought us rings with the 

Mother's symbol and also books of Sri Aurobindo or the 

Mother signed by the Mother and given by Her to us when 

we went up to Her. Bansimama would always be there 

working in silent obedience behind Champakmama. I bow 

down with gratitude to both of them for this privilege 

bestowed upon us. 

Bansimama stood by us in all our difficult periods and 

gave the best advice possible in such circumstances, that 

is, to pray to the Divine Mother. He also taught us many 

Sanskrit shlokas, talked to us about Sri Aurobindo and the 

Mother and encouraged us to meditate regularly. 

I would to recall an incident of 1989 concerning my

Our Bansimama 49 

factory at Ariyankuppam. The place was infested with 

snakes and practically every afternoon staff girls would 

suddenly start screaming and running around because 

a snake was seen in some corner or the other. Now, 

Bansimama used to visit the factory whenever he could 

find time, in order to encourage me and give me strength 

to face the adversities that had then heaped on my head. 

I requested him to inform Champakmama about this 

problem and invoke the Mother's blessings and protection. 

Champakmama then called me and wanted to know 

everything in detail. After hearing all I had to say, he 

meditated for some time and wrote on a piece of 

paper, "Henceforth none of this will happen." Along with 

that he gave me a blessings packet. From that day, to our 

happy surprise, we never saw any snake in the premises! 

It was only when I was vacating the building after the 

closure of the factory, that a cobra came in the garden, 

stopped at the main entrance, and coiled itself in its wellknown 

way, its hood held high. But after some time it 

quietly slipped away. I have often wondered what 

Champakmama had done.... 

Champakmama had also come and visited my sister 

Chetana in Bombay, a few weeks before she passed away 

there in 1984. She was suffering from brain cancer and 

had been pleading with our father to bring her back to 

Pondicherry. It was in that circumstance that Champakmama 

had turned up. His presence, his touch, brought to 

her the Mother's blessings and peace and smoothened her 

passage to the other world. 

Yes, both Champakmama and Bansimama were ex-


tremely helpful. Would we ever have such loving elders 

again? I pay my respects to them for paving a path for us 

with their selfless love, devotion and faith. 

ASHA KarHARI 

To live in love, by love, for love, indissolubly united 

to Thy highest manifestation. . . . 

Always more light, more beauty, more truth! 

The Mother

FLAME OF LOVE 

This book contains of reminiscences of Motiba 

(Charnpaklals aunt) and Bansidhar (Champaklal's 

younger brother). They came to Sri Aurobindo Ashram in 

its early days when the Ashram had few inmates - sixty to 

seventy. Those were days of intense sadhana, for Sri 

Aurobindo and the Mother were bringing down the 

Supreme Truth, Light, Harmony, Peace and Love into the 

earth-consciousness. Given the privilege ofliving in close 

proximity with them, the Divine in human form, the 

sadhaks and sadhikas were single-mindedly concentrated 

OlL their sadhana. They were silent servitors and one in 

their aim to surrender to the Lord Sri Aurobindo and the 

Mother with full faith. With a burning flame oflove in their 

heart they came - to serve, to love, to realise the Divine. 

(From the Preface)

FLAME OF LOVE 

This book contains of reminiscences of Motiba 

(Champaklal's aunt) and Bansidhar (Champaklal's 

younger brother). They came to Sri Aurobindo Ashram in 

its early days when theAshram had few inmates- sixty to 

seventy. Those were days of intense sadhana, for Sri 

Aurobindo and the Mother were bringing down the 

Supreme Truth, Light, Harmony, Peace and Love into the 

earth-consciousness. Given the privilege ofliving in close 

proximity with them, the Divine in human form, the 

sadhaks and sadhikas were single-mindedly concentrated 

on their sadhana. They were silent servitors and one in 

their aim to surrender to the Lord Sri Aurobindo and the 

Mother with full faith. With a burning flame oflove in their 

heart they carne- to serve, to love, to realise the Divine. 

(From the Preface) 

Rs.50.00

flame of love - Sri Aurobindo Ashram

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