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Mr. Know-It-All’s Guide to Life
Dear Mr. Know-It-All,
I get the burning of the hell notes, but what’s everyone
so scared of during the “Ghost Festival”? – Ghost Busted
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Much as with Halloween in the Western • Do not touch walls. You will absorb
tradition, in the seventh lunar month—
the spirits and become possessed.
ghost month—the borders between life and • Do not go near water. The spirits will
the afterlife are at their thinnest. During
drag you in and drown you.
this time, ghosts are drawn towards the
You will note that these simple guidelines
living world, to walk amongst those who are
block you from dressing up and going out at
still flesh. The worst of them? The Hungry
night, and also going on junk trips. But what
Ghosts. According to Buddhist tradition,
are you more interested in? That shortcut
in life they were venal, envious, greedy
from Tsui Wah to Baby Buddha in LKF, or
or just plain nasty humans. Taoists claim
your immortal soul?
they arise through violent deaths, and both
As you know, during the festival,
religions claim that they are created if the
people burn “hell notes,” paper notes in
souls of the dead are neglected by their
huge denominations, for their ancestors.
descendents. However it comes about,
This transmutes them to the afterlife, in
hungry ghosts return as malicious spirits—
which they are gratifyingly legal tender.
you’ll know them by their distended bellies
But they also leave out lunch boxes of char
and their long, small necks, too small to
siu rice in the street—partly for their own
cram in everything they crave. If they aren’t
dead, but mainly to appease the wandering
sated, they will attack humans, harvesting
hungry ghosts, so that they’ll stay away.
their energy and their emotions.
Walk down the wrong alley late at night, and
Tips to stay safe during ghost month:
you might see a hunched, big-bellied form
• Do not wear black—it attracts ghosts. squatting over a rice box in the street. Back
• Do not walk down dark alleys; that’s away, before it looks around. Do you want
where hungry ghosts linger.
to find out just how hungry it really is?
Mr. Know-It-All answers your questions and quells your urban concerns.
Send queries, troubles or problems to mrkia@hkmagmedia.com.
#PrivateEyeHK
Your Nouns, Verbs, Adjectives:
“Perhaps skip Dragon-i for one night
and offer a helping hand.”
Some Love for
Most Hated Jobs
Our story on Hong Kong’s most hated jobs
[“I Hate That Guy,” Aug 8, Issue 1,056] was
popular among our Facebook fans. Here are
some of their comments:
Good on you guys trying to add some
humanity and personality to some of these
people who just try to do their job.
Don Bosco Choi
Fake monks and the fake Christian charity
collectors that mysteriously appear when
the Navy or a big sporting event hits town...
should be shot!
Christopher Mercer
A Fan of Yalun
Some fan mail, apropos of nothing,
for the Straight Man:
Hi, Yalun,
It has been a while since my last email.
Have you realized that we non-native
speakers have taken your column as one
of the best English language lessons ever?
So much fun to read.
I dropped out from my PhD in April.
I guess you will congratulate me and then
give me a big five.
Hope you are doing well. Still can’t
wait to read your “ranting” every time I see
HK Magazine.
Feel super hungry suddenly. Gonna
go to 7-Eleven for fish balls. Loooove the
snacks there.
A Thinker’s Column
Yalun’s musings on first-world detachment
in the face of international crises [Aug 1,
issue 1,055] drew some feedback online:
Your fan,
Lu
The crises you mention are too complex and
too big to solve with a monetary donation.
Perhaps skip Dragon-i for one night and offer
a helping hand to the thousands of displaced
people in Hong Kong (who are waiting for
their refugee status) or the 1.2 million people
who, according to the HK government, live
below the poverty line. One thing you should
never do is close your eyes!
Rowdy Boeyink
Beautifully written.
Karen Chiang
Light & Dark
Photo by Melody Siu
6 HK MAGAZINE FRIDAY, august 15, 2014