A Journal of Mahatma Gandhi Antarrashtriya Hindi Vishwavidyalaya

people told me about the place made me
tremble inside. But then I gave myself
courage. I told myself—those who are afraid
have to die before their death…Depositing
my suitcase and bedding in the running
room, I called the cook. He was also a
Pathan. Besides Pashtu, he could also speak
a smattering of Urdu. He advised me that
I should neither be friends with those
people nor be their enemy. Both things
were dangerous. And what was most
important, I was not supposed to even
look at a Pathan woman. In such matters
those people did not wait even for a minute
and would cut a person into pieces.’
‘Some time ago, there had been an
earthquake in Quetta. Everything had been
destroyed. Everywhere there were signs
of destruction. But all around the place
there were mountains. Snow-capped peaks
looming far into the distance. Total silence.
Tall trees. A few houses here and there.
A wilderness stretched into the far
distance…It was indeed a beautiful place,
but even such a beautiful place made me
apprehensive. I felt more terror stricken
because I was a stranger there. I thought:
there is another place where there is a
church, Fathers, prayer, Christmas, cakes,
partying, joy and friends like me; and
in this place there is such
wilderness…Everyone looked at me with
suspicion. I was scared of everyone. I
would spend my time in the running room.
Sometimes I thought of playing the mouth
organ, but the very next moment my mood
would change.’
‘Did you start driving trains there?’
someone asked Raka. ‘No. I had not been
put on duty till then. But I also had a
fear: if Quetta was like this, what kind
of place will those forested areas be where
there was neither education nor the
law….Before I began to drive I had heard
all kinds of true and false stories about
the place. I was scared to my bones. For
many days I did not stir out of the running
room. It was really strange that they did
not put me on duty after my training
was over. But there must have been a
reason and that is why I had not been
given the load till then. Sitting in the
running room I was feeling bored.’
‘One day, I came out of the running
room. The caretaker of the running room
tried to stop me. But I did not listen
to him. I came out. It was a small market
place. A strange kind of place. The pleasant
morning of the hills. But in my heart there
was fear. All around me there were tall
and lean Pathans. Some of them had their
turbans on, others were bare headed. All
of them were fair with sharp features.
All of them were men. There was not
a single woman there.’
“Frightened, I shuffled slowly across
the market place, looking around in a
confused manner. I stopped in front of
a shop. There were some people sitting
in it. It was a kahwa house. The shop
owner of the kahwa house looked at me.
86 :: January-March 2012