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UPFront
HongKabulary
Street Talk
All Gweilo’s Eve (əl ɡwaɪələʊs iːv), n.
A separate but parallel Halloween celebration that exclusively
involves hairy, sweaty, cross-dressing British men.
“Beware, traveler, for tonight is All Gweilo’s Eve. Hairy creatures in short skirts
and pink neon wigs walk the earth after dark.”
Caption This
HONG KONG—A curator poses in front of a carriage used for the coronation of Emperor
Alexander II in Moscow, exhibited at the Hong Kong Museum of History. (May Tse/SCMP)
Fast Facts
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CY: My New Government Vehicle Brings Me Closer to the People
Tycoon Outraged that “G1LDEDL1LY” License Plate Already Taken
Costume Party
What are we dressing up as for Halloween?
Zombie Hong Kong, dead but lurching onwards.
Rafael Hui in Ninja Turtle outfit.
Premature Jesus.
Reanimated last year’s costume.
Slutty Ronny Tong.
“Pimp My Rickshaw” Picked Up for Second Season
Funeral host Ryan Chan has 18 years of experience
working with the dead. His job is to make sure that funerals
run smoothly, from the ceremony to managing attendees.
He tells Yannie Chan about his ideal funeral.
HK Magazine: What is a funeral host? everything about funerals by then, so I really
Ryan Chan: In Chinese, they’re called tong tried my best to make it right. I actually
goon ( 堂 倌 ). They take care of everything broke several traditions: my mother didn’t
that happens during a funeral: from guiding look like herself in the burial clothes, so I
the family and helping them put on the bought her some trendy clothes from H&M.
traditional gowns, to making sure the
Of course, I prepared the burial clothes
departed looks good, to controlling the [in the coffin] so she could change into
mood of the funeral. It’s a relatively new them—just in case they are required “down
industry, dating back only a couple decades. there.” I also kept her body refrigerated
for only five days, instead of the traditional
HK: How did you get into funeral
month, because that can change a person’s
hosting?
appearance. She looked like she had just
RC: I started as a Taoist priest and moved fallen asleep.
on to being a host. I now own a funeral
company and I consider myself “a master of HK: Have you ever had any spooky
tong goons.” I have tong goons and funeral encounters?
directors working under me, and I train RC: I believe in spirits, but I have never
them in-house.
seen a ghost. Many of my colleagues say
they’ve seen one, but they are all quite anticlimactic:
such as spotting a shadow here or
HK: What’s the scariest thing about
the job?
there. If a funeral director or host tells you
RC: People usually quit because dealing they don’t believe in ghosts or the afterlife,
with the dead is not an easy thing to handle don’t trust them to organize a funeral: they
psychologically. A funeral host sometimes will be treating your family member as a
has to take care of unexpected situations, dead object.
such as if the body secretes liquid or bloody
fluids. You can’t be scared, because that’s HK: So what are your plans for the
very disrespectful. But the biggest challenge funeral business?
is handling the living, rather than the dead. RC: I want to bring quality funeral services
A funeral is more about the people who are to all classes of society. My ultimate plan is
still alive, and a funeral host’s challenge is to to make funeral services part of employee
help the family remember the deceased and benefits in companies. Everyone deserves a
say a proper goodbye. That includes calming good quality farewell.
emotional family members, picking the right
music and saying the right things to set the HK: How would you host your own
tone. You have to provide psychological funeral?
therapy sometimes.
RC: Maybe I would organize a living funeral,
to spend time with my loved ones and say
HK: How do you tackle family drama? goodbye. Actually, even a normal family
RC: I’ve had family members start a
gathering or a birthday could be treated as
physical fight over the deceased’s estate. a funeral, because it is potentially the last
You have to separate them and remind time you meet someone. I could die today,
them of the solemnity of the event. Worst but I am not afraid: I cherish the people
case scenario, you drag the people outside around me and I have no regrets.
and let them fight it out on the street.
Get in touch with Yan Chak Funeral
HK: What’s the most memorable
Company at 6591-9779 or yanchak2012@
funeral you’ve ever hosted?
gmail.com.
RC: My own mother’s funeral. I knew
10 HK MAGAZINE FRIDAY, October 24, 2014