Is There a Disconnect between Torah Learning and ... - Hakirah.org

28 : Hạkirah, the Flatbush Journal of Jewish Law and Thought
they reached the age of young adulthood, it became glaringly
apparent that they had failed to develop emotionally and to develop
sensitivity for others. Their parents were afraid to take them to the
chupah for fear of how they would treat their wives and children.
We need to teach our children to give up their seats to older
people, be it at home, on a bus, or in shul. There was a time when this
was the norm. If a grown-up came into shul, and there did not seem
to be a place for him, fathers would immediately tell their children to
get up and give their seat to the adult. 23
• Today this is not the norm. I know people who have shown up at
in a strange shul and found an empty seat, only to be שמחות
shooed away by someone saying that it is his ten-year-old son’s
seat. One person told me this happened to him three times at one
hallway. He finally just gave up and davened in the ‏.שמחה
• An elderly man recently told me that he walked into a shul,
noticed one empty seat, and headed toward it. As he was nearing
the seat, one of the already seated men motioned to his son to
quickly grab the seat before the elderly man could get to it. What
message was this man giving to his son?
It would help if we would teach our children to hold a door open
for someone behind them who is about to walk through it. And, if as
some have told me, they are uncomfortable doing that, lest the
person for whom they would be holding the door open be a member
of the opposite gender, let them not look back! Whatever they do,
they should not allow the door to slam in the face of the person
behind them. Saying “please,” “thank you,” and “excuse me” 24 would
not hurt either.
23 I cannot say that this was always done in the most decorous or
respectful way. Often children were unceremoniously “shooed away”
from their seats. And, they probably resented it. It can and should be
done in a manner that respects the child as a person. The reason for
giving up the seat should be explained to the child, and s/he should be
given the opportunity to feel that he is doing a mitzvah rather than just
being chased away.
24 I do not of course mean the use of this term in the “attack mode”
commonly used in Israel. There, if you hear לי ‏,תסלח usually you know
that trouble is looming.