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NEWS OF OLD BRUTONIANS
he joined up with the 11th PAVO in the Indian Cavalry
serving as an officer in the western desert in Libya and
Egypt. As a Sergeant Major and as Quartermaster in a
Brigade of Indian army recruits retreating before
Rommel, he came under fire at El Mekili on Palm Sunday
1942 and survived several days of onslaught that were
clearly terrifying encounters. Later in the war, he became
a Major and Commandant of a camp in a high mountain
pass in the Lebanon. Wartime experiences were central to
his early life and ones of which he was proud. He kept his
medals safe and wore them in annual reunion dinners in
London. He kept in touch with the Indian Cavalry Officers
Association throughout his life.
Sadly, his marriage to Babs was not a success, but in
1943 in Alexandria he met my mother Dorothy and they
married in Alexandria on March 4th 1944. For more than
a year they communicated only by daily letter, since they
were posted apart and it was not until 1946 that he
returned to India with my mother, helping to train many
local people in Balmer Lawrie and Company in Calcutta. I
was born in 1948! In the mid 1950s we moved back to the
UK, to Birmingham, where my father resumed in the
export department at Hope’s Windows. Clearly he was a
respected and well-liked manager. In the 1960s we moved
to Bushey Heath, near London and my father managed a
small subsidiary window company W. James in
Willesden. When this was closed down during the assetstripping
days of Slater-Walker, my father, now in his late
50s, was not too proud to roll up his sleeves, despite a
recent heart attack, and go out on the road again as a
salesman for the window company Heywood Williams. A
lucky break occurred when he was asked to act as a
consultant for a subsidiary firm, Coastal Aluminium, in
Poole, Dorset. The move to Wimborne resulted in some of
the happiest times for my parents where they lived for
over 25 years. For a while in his late 60s, he sold doubleglazing,
and enjoyed the local contacts with people in the
Wimborne area. When he retired around 22 years ago,
golf then became his passion and he used to play 2 or 3
times a week with his pals.
My father was a very orderly person. I suppose it was
his life at school and in the army that instilled in him the
need for organisation, part of which I suppose rubbed off
on me! Even in the last few years, his favourite phrase
was “everything is under control” and he was not happy
until he felt everything was. Of course, my father was
devoted to my mother. They loved each other for all of
their 56 years together. My mother, who died in 2002, told
me how she was always very grateful for the many
happy times together and much of the life and security
that he had been able to provide her. My father also knew
just how much my mother had contributed to making his
life such a pleasant one at home. My parents came as a
team and I could not get away with anything! My father
always treated me gently, never raising his hand to me. A
firm word from him insisting on good behaviour was
quite enough! He was a very good at ensuring that life
flowed on, and no matter what happened along the way,
he would try his best to take practical steps to help.
He hated being ill and got very frustrated, especially
after several hip operations and an operation for cancer,
that he could not do the practical things in life that he
enjoyed. Mobility and independence were crucial to him
and he hated having to give up his car a year ago, when
in 2004 he moved to Cambridge to be closer to my wife
Anna and I. But he bought an invalid scooter and he loved
tootling around the corner to us for lunch, even though it
took him a long time to get himself organised. Indeed he
was very happy at the residential home, the Hollies, even
though it turned out to be less than a year. The wonderful
support of all the staff at the Hollies gave him much
comfort during his final days.
Michael Gait (N 62/66)
NICKLEBY BERNAYS (O59/64)
(The following appreciation of Nick Bernays was
delivered at Nick’s memorial service by Peter Phillips, his
friend and School contemporary.)
First of all, can I say how grateful I have been for all the
comments, stories and memories that you, his family and
friends, have shared with me. Your information and
subsequent advice have only left me, well, in a state of
panic. As I said to Janny, after she told me I would be
saying a few words, preparing for today has produced a
lot of tears. If I’m honest, although some have been of
sadness, most have been of happiness, brought about by
fantastic tales and memories.
(Can I also apologise if I have omitted any stories that
you thought you might hear; most were probably not
suitable for retelling here, today, anyway!)
Nickleby Gorton Bernays. Now, there’s a name!
If you want to know more about how he got that
name, then you will have to ask Sarah or Jane, his sisters,
afterwards, as they know the story and I found it too
confusing to tell here!
Nickleby was born on 5th June, 1945 in Montevideo,
where he lived until 1955 when his family returned to the
UK. He then attended St Edmund’s Prep School in
Hindhead until 1959.
Nick and I first met when we were at King’s School,
Bruton, and, if I recall correctly, it was at tea at my
parents’ house in the town. Nick was a boarder and news
of my mother’s chocolate eclairs had drifted down to Old
House where he was billeted; and Saturday afternoons,
after games, in front of Grandstand (or whatever it was
called then), from then on, became, well, traditional!
Our friendship continued after school and we were to
become ‘Best Man’ at each other’s weddings and we were
also very honoured and proud to be Godfather to each
other’s sons.
Nickleby was a school prefect; he was the RSM in the
school CCF; he played at ‘wing forward’, as it was then, for
the School 1st XV, and, apparently, he also played the
clarinet! (Although I cannot, or choose not, to remember
that!) He and I represented the School at Tennis; we were
the 1st Pair! Unfortunately, our results were never that
OLD BRUTONIAN ASSOCIATION NEWSLETTER 2005 29