Vintage Magazine - April 2013 - Central Bank of Trinidad and Tobago

After examining a female
patient, the doctor took the
husband aside and said, “I
don’t like the looks of your
wife at all”. “Me neither doc”,
said the husband, “but she’s
a great cook and a really
great mom to the kids”.
An older gentleman was
on the operating table
awaiting surgery. He had
insisted that his son,
a renowned surgeon,
perform the operation. As
he was about to get the
anesthesia, he asked to
speak to his son. “Yes,
dad, what is it?”, the son
asked. The father replied,
“Don’t be nervous, son.
Do your best and just
remember that if it doesn’t
go well, if something
happens to me, your
mother is going to come
and live with you and your
wife”.
A woman walked up to a little
old man rocking in a chair on his
porch.
“I couldn’t help noticing how
happy you look”, she said.
“What’s your secret for a long
happy life?”
“I smoke three packs of
cigarettes a day”, he said. “I
also drink a case of whiskey a
week, eat fatty foods, and never
exercise”.
“That’s amazing”, the woman
said. “How old are you?”
“Twenty-six”, he replied.
A couple goes out to dinner to celebrate
their 50th wedding anniversary. On the
way home, she notices a tear in his
eye and asks if he’s getting sentimental
because they’re celebrating 50
wonderful years together.
He replies, “No, I was thinking about the
time before we got married.
Your father threatened me with a
shotgun and said he’d have me thrown
in jail for 50 years if I didn’t marry you.
Tomorrow I would have been a free
man!”
Statistics play an
important role in
genetics. For instance,
statistics prove
numbers of offspring
is an inherited trait.
If your parents didn’t
have any kids, odds
are that you won’t
either.
Two aerials meet on a
roof, fall in love, and get
married. The ceremony
wasn’t all that good,
but the reception was
brilliant.
I went to the doctor
the other day and
asked, “Have you got
anything for wind?”.
He gave me a kite.
I asked my gym instructor,
“Can you teach me to do
the splits?”, He said, “How
flexible are you?”. I said, “I
can’t make Tuesdays”.
“Doc, I can’t stop singing the
Green Green Grass of Home”.
He said, “That sounds like
Tom Jones syndrome”. Is it
common?”, I asked. “It’s not
unusual”, he replied.
14 VINTAGE