1 OCT 2006 - Nightwire Magazine
1 OCT 2006 - Nightwire Magazine
1 OCT 2006 - Nightwire Magazine
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<strong>OCT</strong> <strong>2006</strong><br />
1
CONTENTS<br />
<strong>OCT</strong> 06<br />
4-8 Halloween Section<br />
10 Boss’ Rules<br />
11 Husband/Wife Humor<br />
15 Night Tech: iPod has a<br />
new enemy in town<br />
20 Cover Model: Kristol<br />
22 Godot<br />
30 When Girls Drink Too<br />
Much<br />
31 Steeler Mania<br />
32 Featured Band:<br />
Evanescence<br />
37 Horoscopes<br />
Dining Feature - Coming Soon<br />
Again in Upcoming Issues<br />
Cover Photo C.E. Mitchell<br />
Cover Model Kristol<br />
Make Up/Hair Ronal<br />
Styling Ronal<br />
Publisher:<br />
Joyce Campisi<br />
Editor-in-Chief:<br />
Joyce Campisi<br />
Executive Editor:<br />
Joseph P. Campisi, III<br />
Art Director:<br />
Ronal Mitchell<br />
Director of Photographer:<br />
C. E. Mitchell<br />
Graphic Designer:<br />
Ronal Mitchell,<br />
Donnie Garber<br />
Sales Manager:<br />
John Palmer<br />
Feature Writers:<br />
Joseph P. Campisi, III<br />
Suz Pisano<br />
Joyce Campisi<br />
Kara<br />
Contributing Writers:<br />
Joseph P. Campisi, III,<br />
Suz Pisano<br />
Bill Mace<br />
Jean Mace<br />
Dottie Wilhelm<br />
Lori Hon<br />
Copyright © <strong>2006</strong>, SX publications, <strong>Nightwire</strong>. All rights reserved. SX Publications, <strong>Nightwire</strong> owns the copyrights of the photographs and contents of this publication.<br />
No part of this publication may be reproduced, modified, retransmitted or published in any part of copyrighted material without the expressed written permission<br />
of the publisher. The articles and editorials are meant for entertainment purposes only, and do not necessarily represent opinions of SX Publications, <strong>Nightwire</strong>,<br />
they are those of the writers and advertisers and may not necessarily represent those of SX Publications, <strong>Nightwire</strong>. SX Publications, <strong>Nightwire</strong> in no way offers any<br />
recommendations, endorsements or guarantees of any kind with regard to any service, product or person in any way for the actions ensuing from advertising. This<br />
publication contains elements adult in nature and may not be suitable for minors. Some of the products and services available through advertisements are not for<br />
purchase by minors. SX Publications, <strong>Nightwire</strong> cannot be held responsible for photos submitted by advertisers and photography supplied by advertisers or vendors<br />
without a release from the model(s). SX Publications, <strong>Nightwire</strong> will assume no liability for misprints, typos, ad print quality, ad placement or incorrect ad copy.<br />
<strong>OCT</strong> <strong>2006</strong><br />
3
10 Top Reasons Why<br />
Halloween is Better than<br />
10. You are guaranteed to get at least a little something in the sack.<br />
9. If you get tired, wait ten minutes and go back at it again.<br />
8. The stranger you look, the easier it is to get some.<br />
7. You don’t have to compliment the person who gave it to you.<br />
Sex<br />
Trick or Treat<br />
Jokes<br />
6. Person you are with doesn’t fantasize you’re someone else, you already are.<br />
5. If you get a stomach ache, it won’t last nine months.<br />
4. If you wear leather and chains, no one thinks you’re kinky.<br />
3. Doesn’t matter if kids hear you moaning and groaning.<br />
2. Less guilt the next morning from over-indulging.<br />
1. If you don’t get what you want at one place, you can always go next door to get more!<br />
Top Signs That You’re Too Old to Trick or<br />
Treat<br />
10. You get winded from knocking on the door.<br />
9. You have to have another kid chew the candy<br />
for you.<br />
8. You ask for high fiber candy only.<br />
7. When someone drops a candy bar in your bag,<br />
you lose balance and fall over.<br />
6. People say, “What a scary mask!”, but you’re not<br />
wearing a mask.<br />
5. When the door opens and you yell, “Trick or..... “,<br />
and you can’t remember the rest.<br />
4. By the end of the night, you have a bag full of re<br />
straining orders.<br />
3. You have to carefully choose a costume that<br />
won’t dislodge your hairpiece.<br />
2. You’re the only Spongebob Squarepants in the<br />
neighborhood with a walker.<br />
1. You avoid going to houses where your ex-wives<br />
live.<br />
Trick or Treating by Astrological Sign<br />
Aries pushes the others aside to get to the door first.<br />
Taurus will only eat the finest of Swiss chocolates.<br />
Gemini goes around the neighborhood once, changes costumes<br />
and goes around again.<br />
Cancer stays at home and gives candy to the other trick-ortreaters.<br />
Leo plans their costume for months, then won’t go out<br />
because someone else had the same idea.<br />
Virgo wears a neatly-pressed suit and tells everyone that<br />
they’re a bookkeeper.<br />
Libra is still standing in front of the closet trying to decide<br />
on a costume.<br />
Scorpio isn’t in it for the candy.<br />
Sagittarius will manage to wander to the next town.<br />
Capricorn makes a list of all the houses that give good<br />
candy and the optimal route to take.<br />
Aquarius builds their costume out of spare flashlights and<br />
spends all night tinkering when it shorts.<br />
Pisces skips the whole thing to compose poetry to the<br />
Moon.<br />
4 <strong>OCT</strong> <strong>2006</strong><br />
<strong>OCT</strong> <strong>2006</strong><br />
5
Halloween Humor<br />
A<br />
Little Johnny was on a park bench stuffing all of his Halloween candy<br />
in his mouth. An old lady came over and said. “Son, don’t you know<br />
that eating all of that candy will rot your teeth, give you acne, and<br />
make you sick?”<br />
“My grandfather lived to be 105 years old!” replied Johnny.<br />
“Did he eat five candy bars at a sitting?” the old lady retorted.<br />
“No, said Johnny, but he minded his own freakin’ business.”<br />
woman whose husband often came home<br />
drunk decided to cure him of the habit. One<br />
Halloween night, she put on a devil suit and<br />
hid behind a tree to intercept him on the<br />
way home.<br />
When her husband came by, she jumped out<br />
and stood before him with her red horns,<br />
long tail, and pitchfork.<br />
“Who are you?” he asked.<br />
“I’m the Devil,” she responded.<br />
“Well, come on home with me,” he said, “I<br />
married your sister.”<br />
6 <strong>OCT</strong> <strong>2006</strong><br />
Q: Where does Dracula<br />
water ski?<br />
A: On Lake Erie.<br />
Q: What do you call an<br />
empty hot dog?<br />
A: A hollow weenie.<br />
Q: Why don’t witches<br />
ever have babies?<br />
A: Warlocks have hollow<br />
weenies.<br />
Q: What happened to<br />
the guy who couldn’t<br />
keep up payments to<br />
his exorcist?<br />
A: He was repossessed.<br />
A couple was invited to a swanky masked Halloween party. She got a terrible headache and told her husband to go to the<br />
party alone. He, being a devoted husband, protested, but she argued and said she was going to take some aspirin and go<br />
to bed, and there was no need of his good time being spoiled by not going.So he took his costume and away he went. The<br />
wife, after sleeping soundly for one hour, awakened without pain, and as it was still early, she decided to go to the party. In<br />
as much as her husband did not know what her costume was, she thought she would have some fun by watching her husband<br />
to see how he acted when she was not with him. She joined the party and soon spotted her husband cavorting around on the<br />
dance floor, dancing with every nice chick he could and copping a little feel here and a little kiss there.<br />
His wife went up to him and being a rather seductive babe herself, he left his partner high and dry and devoted his time to<br />
the new stuff that had just arrived. She let him go as far as he wished naturally, since he was her husband. Finally he whispered<br />
a little proposition in her ear and she agreed, so off they went to one of the cars and had a little bang. Just before unmasking<br />
at midnight, she slipped away and went home and put the costume away and got into bed,wondering what explanation<br />
he would make for his behavior. She was sitting up reading when he came in and asked what kind of a time he had. He said,<br />
“Oh, the same old thing. You know I never have a good time when you’re not there.” Then she asked, “Did you dance<br />
much?” He replied, “I’ll tell you, I never even danced one dance. When I got there, I met Pete, Bill Brown and some other<br />
guys, so we went into the den and played poker all evening. But the guy I loaned my costume to sure had a great time!”<br />
<strong>OCT</strong> <strong>2006</strong><br />
7
Halloween<br />
Jokes<br />
Q: What type of dog does Dracula have?<br />
A: A blood hound.<br />
The IRS Trick or Treater<br />
The door bell, rings and a man answers it. Here stands<br />
this plain but well dressed kid, saying, “Trick or Treat!”<br />
The man asks the kids what he’s dressed up like for<br />
Halloween. The kid says, “I’m an IRS agent.” Then he<br />
takes 28% of the man’s candy, leaves, and doesn’t say<br />
“Thank you”.<br />
Rocky<br />
One Halloween a trick-or-treater came to my door dressed<br />
as “Rocky”, in boxing gloves and satin shorts. Soon after I<br />
gave him some goodies, he returned for more.<br />
“Aren’t you the same ‘Rocky’ who left my doorstep several<br />
minutes ago?” I asked.<br />
“Yes,” he replied, “but now I’m the sequel. I’ll be back three<br />
more times tonight, too.”<br />
Halloween Costume<br />
It’s Halloween and this woman has nothing to wear.<br />
She put a sheet over her and sticks horns on it and goes<br />
to work.<br />
A co-worker asks her what she is dressed as.<br />
She replies, “Bull Sheet”.<br />
Halloween Lingo<br />
Bobbing Apples:<br />
What happens when you jog without a bra.<br />
Boogieman:<br />
The guy who passes time at a stoplight picking his nose.<br />
Coffin:<br />
What you do when you get a piece of popcorn stuck in<br />
your throat.<br />
8 <strong>OCT</strong> <strong>2006</strong><br />
Carolina Ghost Story<br />
This happened about a month ago just outside a little<br />
town in the low Country of South Carolina, and while it<br />
sounds like an Alfred Hitchcock Tale - It’s real.<br />
This guy was on the side of the road hitchhiking on a<br />
real dark night in the middle of a thunder storm. Time<br />
passed slowly and no cars went by. It was raining so<br />
hard he could hardly see his hand in front of his face.<br />
Suddenly he saw a car moving slowly, approaching and<br />
appearing ghostlike in the rain. It slowly crept toward<br />
him and stopped. Wanting a ride real bad the guy<br />
jumped in the car and closed the door, only then did he<br />
realize that there was nobody behind the wheel. Then<br />
the car slowly started moving and<br />
the guy was terrified, too scared to think of jumping out<br />
and running.<br />
The guy saw that the car was slowly approaching a sharp<br />
curve, still too scared to jump out, he started to pray<br />
and begging for his life; he was sure the ghost car would<br />
go off the road and in the marsh and he would surely<br />
drown, when just before the curve, a hand appeared<br />
through the driver’s window and turned the steering<br />
wheel, guiding the car safely around the bend.<br />
Paralyzed with fear, the guy watched the hand reappear<br />
every time they reached a curve. Finally the guy, scared<br />
to near death, had all he could take and jumped out of<br />
the car and ran to town. Wet and in shock, he went into<br />
a bar and voice quavering, ordered two shots of whiskey,<br />
then told everybody about his supernatural experience.<br />
A silence enveloped and everybody got goose bumps when<br />
they realized the guy was telling the truth<br />
and not just some drunk.<br />
About half an hour later two guys walked into the bar<br />
and one says to the other: “Look Bubba, There’s that<br />
idiot who rode in our car when we was pushin it in the<br />
rain.”<br />
Frankenstein:<br />
Hot dog and a mug of beer.<br />
Full Moon:<br />
What your repairman reveals when he bends over to fix your<br />
fridge.<br />
Goblin:<br />
How you eat the snicker’s bar you got for Halloween.<br />
THE GOOD, THE BAD AND THE UGLY:<br />
Good : Your wife is pregnant.<br />
Bad : It’s triplets.<br />
Ugly : You had a vasectomy five years ago.<br />
Good : Your wife’s not talking to you<br />
Bad : She wants a divorce.<br />
Ugly : She’s a lawyer.<br />
Good : Your son is finally maturing.<br />
Bad : He’s involved with the women next door.<br />
Ugly : So are you.<br />
Good : Your son studies a lot in his room.<br />
Bad : You find several porn movies hidden there.<br />
Ugly : You’re in them.<br />
Good : Your hubby and you agree, no more kids.<br />
Bad : You can’t find your birth control pills.<br />
Ugly : Your daughter borrowed them.<br />
Good : Your husband understands fashion.<br />
Bad : He’s a cross-dresser.<br />
Ugly : He looks better than you.<br />
Good : You just gave “the birds and the bees”<br />
talk to your daughter.<br />
Bad : She keeps interrupting.<br />
Ugly : With corrections<br />
Good : Your son is dating someone new.<br />
Bad : It’s another man.<br />
Ugly : He’s your best friend.<br />
Good : Your daughter got a new job.<br />
Bad : As a hooker.<br />
Ugly : Your co-workers are her best clients.<br />
Way Ugly : She makes more money than you do.<br />
<strong>OCT</strong> <strong>2006</strong><br />
9
Subject: Boss’s Rules<br />
To: All Employees<br />
Effective immediately the following rules will be adhered too.<br />
1. If you can’t get your work done in the first 24 hours, work nights.<br />
2. A pat on the back is only a few centimeters from a kick in the butt.<br />
3. Don’t be irreplaceable, if you can’t be replaced, you can’t be promoted.<br />
4. It doesn’t matter what you do, it only matters what you say you’ve done and what<br />
you’re going to do.<br />
5. After any salary raise, you will have less money at the end of the month than you<br />
did before.<br />
6. The more crap you put up with, the more crap you are going to get.<br />
7. You can go anywhere you want if you look serious and carry a clipboard.<br />
8. Eat one live toad the first thing in the morning and nothing worse will happen to<br />
you the rest of the day.<br />
9. When the bosses talk about improving productivity, they are never talking about<br />
themselves.<br />
10. If at first you don’t succeed, try again. Then quit. No use being a damn fool about<br />
it!<br />
11. There will always be beer cans rolling on the floor of your car when the boss asks<br />
for a ride home from the office.<br />
12. Keep your boss’s boss off your boss’s back.<br />
13. Everything can be filed under “miscellaneous.”<br />
14. Never delay the ending of a meeting or the beginning of a cocktail hour.<br />
15. To err is human, to forgive is not our policy.<br />
16. Anyone can do any amount of work provided it isn’t the work he/she is supposed<br />
to be doing.<br />
17. Important letters that contain no errors will develop errors in the mail.<br />
18. If you are good, you will be assigned all the work. If you are really good, you will<br />
get out of it.<br />
19. You are always doing something marginal when the boss drops by your desk.<br />
20. People who go to conferences are the ones who shouldn’t.<br />
21. If it wasn’t for the last minute, nothing would get done.<br />
22. At work, the authority of a person is inversely proportional to the number of pens<br />
that person is carrying.<br />
23. When you don’t know what to do, walk fast and look<br />
worried.<br />
24. Following the rules will not get the job done and get<br />
ting the job done is no excuse for not following the<br />
rules.<br />
25. When confronted by a difficult problem you can solve<br />
it more easily by reducing it to the question, “How<br />
would the Lone Ranger handle this?”<br />
26. No matter how much you do, you never do enough.<br />
27. The last person that quit or was fired will be held<br />
responsible for everything that goes wrong.<br />
Signed:<br />
The Management<br />
Husband and Wife Humor<br />
Wife vs. Husband Words Creation<br />
A couple drove down a<br />
country road for several<br />
miles, not saying a word.<br />
An earlier discussion had<br />
led to an argument and<br />
neither of them wanted to<br />
concede their position. As<br />
they passed a barnyard of<br />
mules, goats, and pigs, the<br />
husband asked sarcastically,<br />
“Relatives of yours?”<br />
“Yep,” the wife replied, “inlaws.”<br />
Who Does What<br />
A husband read an article<br />
to his wife about how many<br />
words women use a day...<br />
30,000 to a man’s 15,000.<br />
The wife replied, “The<br />
reason has to be because we<br />
have to repeat everything to<br />
men...<br />
The husband turned to his<br />
wife and asked, “What?”<br />
A man and his wife were having an argument about who should brew<br />
the coffee each morning.<br />
The wife said, “You should do it, because you get up first, and then<br />
we don’t have to wait as long to get our coffee.”<br />
The husband said, “ You are in charge of cooking around here and you<br />
should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my<br />
coffee.”<br />
Wife replies, “No, you should do it, and besides, it is in the Bible that<br />
the man should do the coffee.”<br />
Husband replies, “I can’t believe that, show me.”<br />
So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament<br />
and showed him at the top of several pages, that it indeed says...<br />
“HEBREWS”<br />
The Silent Treatment<br />
A man said to his wife one day, “I<br />
don’t know how you can be<br />
so stupid and so beautiful all at the<br />
same time.<br />
“ The wife responded, “Allow me to<br />
explain.<br />
God made me beautiful so you would<br />
be attracted to me;<br />
God made me stupid so I would be<br />
attracted to you.<br />
A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were<br />
giving each other the silent treatment. Suddenly, the man realized that<br />
the next day, he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an<br />
early morning business flight. Not wanting to be the first to break the<br />
silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper, “Please wake me at<br />
5:00 AM.” He left it where he knew she would find it. The next morning,<br />
the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he had<br />
missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife<br />
hadn’t wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed.<br />
The paper said, “It is 5:00 AM. Wake up.”(Men are not equipped for<br />
these kinds of contests.) God may have created man before woman,<br />
but there is always a rough draft before the masterpiece.<br />
10 <strong>OCT</strong> <strong>2006</strong><br />
<strong>OCT</strong> <strong>2006</strong><br />
11
Phantom Fright Nights<br />
return to Kennywood<br />
amusement park for <strong>2006</strong>!<br />
Each Autumn, after the Kennywood gates close for the winter, a<br />
ghastly force takes over. And each autumn, we try to convince others<br />
of the phenomenon, but no one believes us.<br />
So this year - if you have the nerve... and ONLY if you have the<br />
nerve - we hope we’ll take a look around to see for yourself... and then<br />
tell your friends, neighbors, families, everyone. The public has the<br />
right to know!<br />
West Mifflin, PA - Individuals<br />
in search of the preeminent haunted<br />
amusement park must travel<br />
along a long distance to find one<br />
as chilling as Kennywood’s Phantom<br />
Fright Nights! According<br />
to Amusement Today, a highly<br />
respected international amusement<br />
industry newspaper, Kennywood<br />
offers the 3rd Best Halloween<br />
Event in the world! (To check out<br />
the other parks in the top three,<br />
one must travel to California or<br />
Florida). A visit to Phantom Fright<br />
Nights at Kennywood in Western<br />
Pennsylvania shows the most skeptical<br />
guest why!<br />
The first clue of transformation<br />
begins as one approaches the<br />
parking lot. Vanished are happy<br />
lights and music. Appearing is fog,<br />
creepy music, and eerie figures...<br />
and the Phantom himself guards<br />
the front gate. Once safely through<br />
the creepier-than-ever tunnel,<br />
visitors may notice an old hearse<br />
where the carnival-like cotton<br />
candy cart usually stands.<br />
Traveling down the fog -filled midway,<br />
guests are soon seduced into<br />
the Villa of the Vampires, where even<br />
non-Dracula fans will appreciate<br />
Renfield and his bugs, bat caves,<br />
the Master’s lair, and much more.<br />
Further down the midway, pirates<br />
are the inhabitants in an all new<br />
haunted attraction: Captain Skully’s<br />
Curse in 3D!<br />
The Kennywood’s Team<br />
Members’ jobs, too, take on a<br />
different look at Phantom Fright<br />
Nights. Joe Barron, Kennywood<br />
Human Resources Director, comments,<br />
“After working the summer<br />
on games, rides, food, etc., many<br />
Team Members have new opportunities<br />
for Phantom Fright Nights.<br />
We now look for ghosts, ghouls,<br />
goblins and gremlins with special<br />
frightening fearsonalities!<br />
Kennyood is a entirely different<br />
experience during Phantom Fright<br />
Nights, for guests and employees<br />
alike!”<br />
12 <strong>OCT</strong> <strong>2006</strong><br />
Phantom Fright Nights take place every Friday and Saturday night from<br />
September 29 through October 28 from 7 PM to 1 AM, plus two bonus nights: Saturday,<br />
September 23 and Sunday, October 8 from 7 PM to 11 PM. Tickets are $19.50 at the<br />
gate. (Tickets may be purchased for $16.50 at participating Giant Eagle locations.)<br />
No food or beverages may be brought into the park during Fright Nights. Halloween masks,<br />
make-up, or costumes are not permitted. Phantom Fright Nights is not recommended for children<br />
under 13 years of age. For further information, call 412.461.0500 or visit<br />
www.phantomfrightnights.com.<br />
<strong>OCT</strong> <strong>2006</strong><br />
13
ELDERLY SEX:<br />
An elderly couple, who were both widowed, had been<br />
going out with each other for a long time. Urged on<br />
by their friends, they decided it was finally time to get<br />
married.<br />
Before the wedding, they went out to dinner and had<br />
a long conversation regarding how their marriage might<br />
work. They discussed finances, living arrangements and<br />
so on.<br />
Finally, the old gentleman decided it was time to broach<br />
the subject of their physical relationship. “How do you<br />
feel about sex?” he asked, rather trustingly.<br />
“Well,” she said, responding very carefully, “I’d have to<br />
say, I would like it infrequently.”<br />
The old gentleman sat quietly for a moment, then, looking<br />
over his glasses, he casually asked,...... “Is that one<br />
word or two?”<br />
<br />
The iPod has a new enemy in town, with a possible release date of Nov. 14 and a<br />
$299 price tag. The Microsoft Zune opens a new market of “social” music<br />
connectivity.<br />
WMA, MP3, AAC, JPEG,WMV, MPEG-4, H.264 media<br />
Wi-Fi (802.11 b/g) connectivity<br />
30 GB Hard Drive<br />
3 inch video LCD 320x240<br />
White, Black, and Chocolate Colors<br />
FM Radio<br />
TV output connectivity<br />
Dedicated song download site<br />
DJ Mode (broadcast what you are listening to)<br />
Podcast playback<br />
3 day playback of Wi-Fi transfered songs from friends<br />
XBOX streaming<br />
XBOX (Microsoft) points compatability<br />
Preloaded music videos<br />
Over a dozen accessories at launch<br />
5.6 ounces in weight, 4.4 by 2.4 by 0.58 inches size<br />
Metric: 158 g, 112 by 61 by 14.7 mm size<br />
From whole beans to brewed coffee without the guesswork or mess, this 10-cup<br />
programmable coffeemaker features a completely automatic, integrated mill-and-brew<br />
system. Simply add water and whole-bean coffee, select from seven grind selections<br />
or turn the grinder off to brew already ground coffee, then enjoy the freshest, most<br />
flavorful coffee imaginable. The unit’s brew-pause function allows for pouring a cup<br />
midbrew, and its clock display automatically springs forward, falls back, and resets<br />
after a power failure. Other highlights include a water reser voir with a large viewing<br />
window, high-quality stainless-steel grinding blades, a permanent stainless-steel filter<br />
basket, a warming plate with automatic shut off, and hidden cord storage.<br />
Not only does the coffeemaker brew great-tasting coffee, it also provides animated<br />
weather information on its large, bright-blue backlit LCD display. MSN Direct regionspecific<br />
up-to-the-minute weather information is transmitted via an FM signal within<br />
minutes of plugging in the coffeemaker--there’s no set-up, subscription, or Internet<br />
connection required. The appliance displays the current temperature and conditions,<br />
high and low temperatures, and chance of precipitation, as well as four-day weather<br />
forecasts. The coffeemaker also displays scrolling weather information; visibility; sunrise/sunset<br />
time; the UV index; and national weather-ser vice warnings and aler ts (the<br />
display flashes when a warning aler t is issued). In addition to its optional sleep function,<br />
where if the unit is idle for a period of time an animated, napping cat appears,<br />
the user interface can display a 12- or 24-hour clock; temperature in degrees F or C;<br />
along with English, French, or Spanish languages. The 10-cup programmable coffeemaker<br />
with animated coffee and weather information measures 8 by 11 by 14 inches<br />
and carries a one-year limited warranty.<br />
<br />
<br />
<strong>OCT</strong> <strong>2006</strong><br />
15<br />
14 <strong>OCT</strong> <strong>2006</strong>
The Pittsburgh Cultural Trust announces its<br />
spotlight event for fall of <strong>2006</strong>: The Gate<br />
Theatre’s productions of<br />
Waiting for Godot<br />
October 18-22, <strong>2006</strong> at the Byham Theater<br />
The Pittsburgh Cultural Trust announced its spotlight event of its <strong>2006</strong> fall<br />
Trust Presents series, The Gate Theatre’s production of Waiting for Godot<br />
on October 18-22, <strong>2006</strong>, at the Byham Theater. Waiting for Godot features<br />
Stephen Brennan (Lucky), Barry McGovern (Vladimir), Johnny Murphy<br />
(Estragon) and Alan Stanford (Pozzo). Single tickets ($15.50-50.50) are on<br />
sale at the Box Office at Theater Square, online at www.pgharts.org, and<br />
via phone at (412) 456-6666. For advanced group reservations and discount<br />
information, call (412) 471-6930.<br />
Samuel Beckett did not attend the first performance of Waiting for Godot in the tiny Théâtre de Babylone in Paris on January<br />
5, 1953. He need not have been nervous. Waiting for Godot went on to become what it remains today, a modern classic<br />
which changed the course of 20th century theatre. With this play Beckett was to join the select company of writers who<br />
have created characters who enter the popular imagination, even if Godot himself fails to make an appearance. This is, after<br />
all, the play in which, famously, “nothing happens twice.”<br />
This production of Waiting for Godot was first produced in 1988 at the request of Samuel Beckett himself. It was he who<br />
recommended that Walter Asmus, who had been his assistant director on the famous Schiller Theatre production, direct;<br />
and that Louis le Brocquy, the world-renowned Irish artist, design.<br />
The Gate Theatre was founded in 1928 and has since become internationally<br />
renowned as one of the most adventurous playhouses in Europe. Under the<br />
current artistic directorship of Michael Colgan, the Gate continues to produce<br />
and present high quality new and classic drama from Ireland and Europe,<br />
both at home and abroad. In 1991, the Gate became the first theatre<br />
in the world to present a full retrospective of all 19 of Samuel Beckett’s stage<br />
plays. The Beckett Festival was a unique tribute to Beckett and his remarkable<br />
work. The Festival met with international and critical acclaim when it<br />
toured to the Lincoln Center, New York in 1996 and the Barbican Centre,<br />
London in 1999. The Gate has toured Waiting for Godot to many other<br />
cities including San Francisco, Chicago, Melbourne, Toronto, Seville, Beijing<br />
and Shanghai.<br />
Irish playwright, critic and fiction writer Samuel Beckett (1906-1989) was<br />
one of the great literary pioneers of the 20th century. His bleak imaginary<br />
landscapes examined the incomprehensible reality of humanity through new<br />
dramatic and literary forms. Beckett tirelessly explored the human condition<br />
in his work and was awarded the Nobel Prize for literature in 1969. Waiting<br />
for Godot, probably his best-known work, was written in French in 1949.<br />
MANAGEMENT SECRETS:<br />
A new manager spends a week at his new office with<br />
the manager he is replacing. On the last day the departing<br />
manager tells him, “I have left three numbered<br />
envelopes in the desk drawer. Open an envelope if<br />
you encounter a crisis you can’t solve.”<br />
Three months down the track there is a major drama,<br />
everything goes wrong - the usual stuff - and the<br />
manager feels very threatened by it all. He remembers<br />
the parting words of his predecessor and opens the<br />
first envelope. The message inside says “Blame your<br />
predecessor!” He does this and gets off the hook.<br />
About half a year later, the company is experiencing a<br />
dip in sales, combined with serious product problems.<br />
The manager quickly opens the second envelope. The<br />
message read, “Reorganize!” This he does, and the<br />
company quickly rebounds.<br />
Three months later, at his next crisis, he opens the<br />
third envelope. The message inside says “Prepare<br />
three envelopes”.<br />
16 <strong>OCT</strong> <strong>2006</strong><br />
<strong>OCT</strong> <strong>2006</strong><br />
17
How Some Couples<br />
Never Losethe<br />
Magic<br />
Whenever people talk about “working on a relationship,”<br />
I know I’m in for a boring conversation about<br />
their earnest approach to relating. Why not try<br />
playing at a relationship for a change? In our Puritan<br />
society, everything is work. Marriage is work. Sex is<br />
work. Work is work. I think there’s a lot of room for<br />
play in life. You can have a good relationship without<br />
approaching it like<br />
the blueprint for a<br />
high-rise building.<br />
And you can certainly<br />
have better sex if you<br />
learn to lighten up.<br />
Adults have forgotten<br />
how to play.<br />
To keep the romance alive in a long-term relationship,<br />
you need the right attitudes. Without them, you’ll<br />
always be consulting a romantic calendar for the suggestion<br />
of the day. Romantic spontaneity is a product<br />
of attitudes. If your relationship needs a romantic<br />
jumpstart, here are some suggestions to get it going,<br />
and keep it going for years to come.<br />
1. Live a life outside the bedroom that is vital and<br />
adventurous. Stay out of ruts. Avoid stale routines.<br />
Expand your experiences. Take chances. Then bring<br />
this bold attitude to the bedroom!<br />
2. Yes, living with the same person for decades really<br />
is boring. So don’t stay the same person you were<br />
when you met and married. Change. Evolve. Grow.<br />
You have a responsibility to your partner to do that.<br />
Expand your boundaries. Keep learning. An active,<br />
curious mind is a sexual turn-on.<br />
3. Keep your relationship emotionally open. Don’t become<br />
one of those couples who have nothing substantial<br />
to say to each other because they’ve eliminated so<br />
many topics over the years. Retain the sexy openness<br />
new lovers share. It’s a form of verbal foreplay.<br />
4. Remember that good sex involves friction and fiction.<br />
Stay sexually stimulated by watching erotic films,<br />
reading sexy books, and indulging your<br />
fantasies.<br />
5. Accept that you and your partner’s sexuality changes<br />
over the years. Adapt your lovemaking style to the<br />
changes. Be flexible. Rigidity is deadly, especially in<br />
the bedroom. Find the good in the changes, and make<br />
the most of each new phase of life.<br />
6. Stay active, fit, and healthy. You probably can’t<br />
maintain a good sex life unless you do.<br />
7. Last, remember that attitude is everything. When<br />
you approach life with hope and enthusiasm, you<br />
make the best of the bad days and enjoy the good<br />
ones to the fullest. A good attitude creates sexual<br />
energy.<br />
Couples who never lose the magic have a special<br />
relationship that attracts others to them - they act<br />
like not only lovers, but friends. Most of us like to be<br />
around lovers. We want to believe the magic, and we<br />
can, because the magic is real!<br />
Kara Czerniak is a romance consultant with UnderCover-<br />
Wear, Inc., a company dedicated to educating women of<br />
all ages how to rediscover themselves and stay connected<br />
with their partners. She can be contacted for home parties<br />
and individual consultations at 412.719.7003 or by e-mail<br />
at karaucw@comcast.net.<br />
Jive Medical Dictionary<br />
Barium - what you do when the patient dies<br />
Bunion - Paul’s surname<br />
Cat Scan - when the Secret Service looks for<br />
Socks<br />
Cauterize - made eye contact with her<br />
Constipation - endangered feces<br />
Coronary - domesticated yellow bird<br />
D&C - where Washington is<br />
Dilate - to live a long time<br />
Enema - opposite of a friend<br />
Fibrillate - to tell a small lie<br />
Genital - non-Jew<br />
Hernia - pertaining to a female’s knee<br />
Humerus - to tell us what we want<br />
to hear<br />
Intestine - currently taking an exam<br />
Node - was aware of<br />
Outpatient - a person who has fainted<br />
Ova - finished; done with<br />
Pap smear - to slander your father<br />
Pelvis - the evil twin of Elvis<br />
Paradox - two doctors<br />
Penis - someone who plays the piano<br />
Rectum - dang near killed him<br />
Sacrum - holy<br />
Seizure - Roman Emperor<br />
Sperm - to reject, look away from<br />
Urine - the opposite of “you’re out!”<br />
White Count - the number of<br />
Caucasians<br />
18 <strong>OCT</strong> <strong>2006</strong><br />
<strong>OCT</strong> <strong>2006</strong><br />
19
20 <strong>OCT</strong> <strong>2006</strong> <strong>OCT</strong> <strong>2006</strong> 21<br />
Kristol<br />
Kristol is originally from Long Island,<br />
NY and currently resides in Florida.<br />
She is a real estate agent, and has<br />
modeled for the past eight years.<br />
She loves modeling and ‘exploring the<br />
creative side of the process’ - such as<br />
collaborating with photographers and<br />
has traveled all over to do so.<br />
On her spare time, she loves to exercise,<br />
go roller blading, flips through<br />
fashion magazines to get ideas for<br />
great photographs and reads good<br />
books. She also loves to hang out<br />
with her two dogs ‘the lights of her<br />
life whom make life very interesting’:<br />
a Chihuahua and a great Dane named<br />
Jordan and Leo!<br />
October Cover Girl
Celebrity Chef Cook-Off<br />
Monday, Nov. 6, <strong>2006</strong><br />
to benefit the Cystic Fibrosis<br />
Foundation<br />
NAKAMA Japanese Steakhouse and Sushi bar will host the second annual Celebrity Chef Cook-Off to benefit the Cystic Fibrosis Foundation.<br />
Under the watchful eyes of famed NAKAMA chefs, sports figures, business community notables and other local celebrities will prepare<br />
traditional hibachi-style dinner for guests.<br />
Come early or stay after to enjoy the sounds of three of Pittsburgh’s top DJs from HotHitz DJs, an amazing silent auction and two bars in the<br />
outside heated tent. And, don’t forget to come prepared to bid on your chef ’s autographed apron!<br />
You don’t want to miss this opportunity to contribute to the Cystic Fibrosis Foundation, meet and eat with celebrity chefs and enjoy the<br />
establishment voted #1 Best Overall Restaurant in Pittsburgh!<br />
Only 32 tables are available - be sure to get your reservation in early!<br />
Choose from a 6:30 or 8:30 p.m. seating and four sponsorship levels:<br />
$7,500 Presenting Sponsor ($7,232 is tax-deductible)<br />
sponsor name listed as presenting sponsor,<br />
(ie, “NAKAMA Japanese Steakhouse and Sushi Bar Celebrity Chef Cook-Off, presented by ABC Company”)<br />
table for eight<br />
sponsor table signage<br />
8x10 keepsake photo of your table (one for each guest)<br />
chef apron signed by your celebrity chef (one for each guest)<br />
full-page acknowledgement in event program<br />
prominent corporate logo visibility on all event materials and chapter Web site<br />
recognition in all press releases<br />
$5,000 Supporting Sponsor ($4,732 is tax-deductible)<br />
table for eight<br />
sponsor table signage<br />
5x7 keepsake photo of your table (one for each guest)<br />
half-page acknowledgement in event program<br />
prominent corporate logo visibility on all event materials<br />
$2,500 VIP Sponsor ($2,252 is tax-deductible)<br />
table for eight<br />
sponsor table signage<br />
prominent corporate logo visibility on all event materials<br />
$1,500 Patron Sponsor ($1,308 is tax-deductible)<br />
table for eight<br />
sponsor table signage<br />
sponsor name listed in event program<br />
$200 Individual Ticket ($176 is tax-deductible)<br />
individual tickets will be sold within two weeks from the event if all tables are not purchased<br />
please call ASAP to place your name on the waiting list to be called if individual seats become available<br />
Tables are limited – only 32 - so make your reservation early!<br />
For reservations or more information, please contact the Cystic Fibrosis Foundation – Western PA<br />
Chapter at 412-321-4422 or e-mail mvilliotti@cff.org.<br />
<strong>OCT</strong> <strong>2006</strong><br />
23
Over<br />
125 Million Slices Sold<br />
25 Years of Serving Pizza Perfectly!<br />
Italian Restaurant & Pizza<br />
Eat In - Take Out - Delivery<br />
(Sorry, No Delivery at the North Hills Location)<br />
North Hills 412-821-0600<br />
Downtown 412-261-2080<br />
Zelienople 724-453-3200<br />
Wexford 724-935-4151<br />
www.montecellos.com<br />
Shaler Twp 412-784-0888<br />
Hampton 724-444-3040<br />
Cranberry 724-772-3133<br />
Sewickley 412-741-7868<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
24 <strong>OCT</strong> <strong>2006</strong><br />
Pizza<br />
Traditional Pizza<br />
The Original Thin Pizza<br />
Sicilian Pizza<br />
Old Island Recipe, Thick,<br />
Square & Spicy<br />
Chicago Deep Dish<br />
Round & Thick Topped with<br />
Imported Tomato Filets<br />
Joe’s Special<br />
Extra Thick & Round with<br />
Extra Cheese & Spicy Sauce<br />
Steak, Onion ‘n’ Ranch<br />
Ranch Dressing, Steak & Red Onions<br />
Veggie Pizza<br />
Olives, Tomatoes, Broccoli, Onions,<br />
Mushrooms, Green Peppers<br />
New York Thin<br />
Extra Thin, Crispy Dough Topped with<br />
Imported Tomato Filets<br />
Hot Hoagies Half or Whole<br />
Steak f Italian f Meatball<br />
Jumbo Fish f Breaded Chicken<br />
Hot Sausage f Chicken Parmesan<br />
Pasta Dinner<br />
Spaghetti f Sea Shells f Penne<br />
Fettucini f Angel Hair f Linguini<br />
Above Served with<br />
Homemade Spaghetti Sauce,<br />
Garden Salad & Garlic Loaf<br />
or Italian Bread<br />
Calzone<br />
Golden Brown Dough Pocket<br />
Baked & Stuffed with Pizza<br />
Cheese & Ricotta Cheese. Your<br />
Choice of Any 2 Pizza Toppings<br />
Inside.<br />
Soup<br />
Bowl or Cup<br />
Homemade Italian<br />
Wedding Soup<br />
Soup Du Jour<br />
Salads<br />
Anti Pasta Salad<br />
Small or Large<br />
Steak Salad<br />
Grilled Chicken Salad<br />
Each Store Independently Owned and Operated. Prices and Menu Selections May Vary.<br />
Dinner Favorites<br />
Eggplant Parmesan<br />
Round Slices of Fresh Eggplant<br />
Breaded, Fried, then Baked in Sauce &<br />
Topped with Mozzarella Cheese<br />
Pasta Primavera<br />
Your Choice of Pasta Covered with Veggies in<br />
Oil & Garlic Add Chicken<br />
Chicken Parmesan<br />
Fresh Sliced, Breaded & Fried with a side of<br />
Pasta<br />
Ravioli (Meat or Cheese)<br />
Five Large Pockets Baked & Covered with<br />
Sauce<br />
Stuffed Shells<br />
Four Large Shells Stuffed with Ricotta Cheese<br />
Filling<br />
Veal Parmesan<br />
Fresh Sliced, Breaded & Fried with a side of<br />
Pasta<br />
Hot Sausage Casserole on Bed of Pasta<br />
Two Pieces of Hot Sausage over Pasta, Baked<br />
Lasagna (Meat or Cheese)<br />
Baked Fresh Daily - All Time Customer<br />
Favorite<br />
Meatball Casserole on Bed of Pasta<br />
Four Large Meatballs over Pasta, Baked<br />
<strong>OCT</strong> <strong>2006</strong><br />
25
Three Football Fans<br />
Three football fans were on their way to watch<br />
the games when one noticed a foot sticking out<br />
of the bushes by the side of the road.<br />
They stopped and discovered a beautiful nude<br />
female dead drunk. Out of respect and propriety,<br />
the Steelers fan took off his cap and placed it<br />
over her right breast. The 49ers fan took off his<br />
cap and placed it over her left breast. Following<br />
their lead, the Browns fan took off his Cap and<br />
placed it over her crotch.<br />
The police were called and when the officer<br />
arrived, he conducted his inspection. First, he<br />
lifted up the Steelers cap, replaced it, and wrote<br />
down some notes. Next, he lifted the 49ers cap,<br />
replaced it, and wrote down some more notes.<br />
SUCCESS:<br />
At age 4 success is . . . not peeing in your pants.<br />
At age 12 success is . . . having friends.<br />
At age 16 success is . . . having a drivers license.<br />
At age 35 success is . . . having money.<br />
At age 50 success is . . . having money.<br />
At age 70 success is . . . having a drivers license.<br />
At age 75 success is . . . having friends.<br />
At age 80 success is . . . not peeing in your<br />
pants.<br />
Take the time to live!!!<br />
Life is too short<br />
THE FOUR STAGES OF LIFE:<br />
1) You believe in Santa Claus.<br />
2) You don’t believe in Santa Claus.<br />
3) You are Santa Claus.<br />
4) You look like Santa Claus.<br />
The officer then lifted the Browns cap, replaced<br />
it, then lifted it again, replaced it, lifted it a third<br />
time, and replaced it one last time.<br />
Chris Harper Moving<br />
The Browns fan was getting upset and finally<br />
asked, “What are you, a pervert or something?<br />
Why do you keep lifting and looking, lifting and<br />
looking?”<br />
412-736-6554<br />
Need to move across town? Across the country?<br />
Across the planet? We will move ANYTHING,<br />
ANYWHERE in the world!<br />
“Well,” said the officer, “I am simply surprised.<br />
Normally when I look under a Browns hat, I<br />
find an asshole.”<br />
No Hidden Fees!<br />
No Four Hour<br />
Minimum Charge!<br />
We Accommodate<br />
Last Minute Moves!<br />
Professional,<br />
Courteous Staff!<br />
No Job Too Big<br />
or Too Small!<br />
Great Service!<br />
We are Licensed<br />
and Insured!<br />
26 <strong>OCT</strong> <strong>2006</strong><br />
Call For An Instant Quote!<br />
412-736-6554<br />
<strong>OCT</strong> <strong>2006</strong><br />
27
“Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances<br />
for a date on Saturday night.” -Rodney Dangerfield<br />
“There are a number of mechanical devices<br />
which increase sexual arousal, particularly in<br />
women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-<br />
Benz 380SL.” -Lynn Lavner<br />
“Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a<br />
rope.” - Camille Paglia<br />
“Sex is one of the nine reasons for incarnation.<br />
The other eight are unimportant.”<br />
-George Burns<br />
“Women might be able to<br />
fake orgasms. But men can<br />
fake a whole relationship.”<br />
-Sharon Stone<br />
“Hockey is a sport for<br />
white men. Basketball is a<br />
sport for black men. Golf<br />
is a sport for white men<br />
dressed like black pimps.”<br />
-Tiger Woods<br />
“My mother never saw the irony<br />
in calling me a son-of-a-bitch.” -<br />
Jack Nicholson<br />
“Clinton lied. A man might forget where he<br />
parks or where he lives, but he never forgets<br />
oral sex, no matter how bad it is.” -Barbara<br />
Bush (Former US First Lady, and you didn’t<br />
think Barbara had a sense of humor)<br />
“Ah, yes, divorce, from the Latin word meaning<br />
to rip out a man’s genitals through his wallet.”<br />
-Robin Williams<br />
“Women need a reason to have sex. Men just<br />
need a place.” -Billy Crystal<br />
28 <strong>OCT</strong> <strong>2006</strong><br />
Famous<br />
“”<br />
Quotes<br />
“According to a new survey, women say they<br />
feel more comfortable undressing in front of<br />
men than they do undressing in front of other<br />
women. They say that women are too judgmental,<br />
where, of course, men are just grateful.”<br />
- Robert De Niro<br />
“There’s a new medical crisis. Doctors are reporting<br />
that many men are having allergic reactions<br />
to latex condoms. They say they cause<br />
severe swelling. So what’s the problem?”<br />
-Dustin Hoffman<br />
“There’s very little advice in men’s<br />
magazines, because men think, ‘I<br />
know what I’m doing. Just show<br />
me somebody naked!” -Jerry<br />
Seinfeld<br />
“See, the problem is that<br />
God gives men a brain<br />
and a penis, and only<br />
enough blood to run one<br />
at a time.” -Robin Williams<br />
“It’s been so long since I’ve<br />
had sex, I’ve forgotten who<br />
ties up whom.” -Joan Rivers<br />
“Sex is one of the most wholesome,<br />
beautiful and natural experiences money<br />
can buy.” -Steve Martin<br />
“You don’t appreciate a lot of stuff in school<br />
until you get older. Little things like being<br />
spanked every day by a middle-aged woman.<br />
Stuff you pay good money for in later life.”<br />
-Elmo Phillips<br />
“ Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy<br />
is the same.” -Oscar Wilde<br />
“ It isn’t premarital sex if you have no intention<br />
of getting married.” -George Burns<br />
<strong>OCT</strong> <strong>2006</strong><br />
7
When Girls<br />
DRINKToo<br />
Much ...<br />
1. We have absolutely no idea where our purse is.<br />
2. We believe that dancing with our arms overhead<br />
and wiggling our butt while yelling “WOO-<br />
HOO!” is truly the sexiest dance move around.<br />
3. We’ve suddenly decided that we want to kick<br />
someone’s ass and honestly believe we could do<br />
it too.<br />
4. In our last trip to pee, we realize that we now<br />
look more like a homeless hooker than the<br />
goddess we were just four hours ago.<br />
5. We start crying and telling everyone we see that<br />
we love them soooo much.<br />
6. We get extremely excited and jump up and<br />
down every time a new song plays because “Oh<br />
my God! Oh my God! I LOVE this song!”<br />
7. We’ve found a deeper/spiritual side to the geek<br />
sitting next to us.<br />
8. We’ve suddenly take up smoking and are really<br />
good at it.<br />
9. We yell at the bartender, who we believe cheated<br />
us by giving us just lemonade - but that’s just<br />
because we can no longer taste the gin.<br />
10. We think we are in bed, but our pillow feels<br />
strangely like the kitchen floor (or the mop?)<br />
11. We fail to notice that the toilet lid is down when<br />
we sit on it.<br />
12. We take our shoes off because we believe<br />
it’s their fault that we’re having problems<br />
walking straight.<br />
Share this with<br />
all the women you<br />
know who like to<br />
have fun!<br />
20<br />
30 40 50 30<br />
Steeler Mania<br />
Watch the Steelers Games at these Locations:<br />
Uno’s<br />
1294 Freedom Rd.<br />
Cranberry, PA 16066<br />
724.772.1711<br />
$2.00 for 20 oz. Drafts<br />
(except Sam Adams)<br />
Snack Hour Menu<br />
Win a Pizza Party for 6!<br />
Sunny Jim’s<br />
255 Camp Horne Rd<br />
Pittsburgh, PA 15202<br />
412-761-6700<br />
Free Half Time Buffet<br />
$10 Buckets of Beer<br />
Montecello’s<br />
North Hills & Wexford Locations<br />
412-821-0600 724-935-4151<br />
20 oz Coors Light Draft - $1.50<br />
20 oz Yuengling Light Draft - $1.50<br />
Free Halftime Buffet<br />
We’re Smokin<br />
2312 Babcock Blvd<br />
Pittsbugh, PA 15237<br />
PH: 412-931-3190<br />
DiPietro’s Ristorante<br />
412 Perry Highway - West View<br />
Pittsburgh, PA<br />
412-931-9878<br />
2 Racks Ribs & 2 Dozen Wings<br />
With Cornbread & 4 lbs Sides -$49.95<br />
16 Pieces Smoked Chicken with<br />
2 lbs sides - $29.95<br />
3 lbs Pulled Pork with<br />
3 lbs sides - $32.95<br />
One Large Pizza & Dozen Wings $12.99<br />
Two Whole Hoagies $10.99<br />
Pick up or Delivery Only!!<br />
30 <strong>OCT</strong> <strong>2006</strong><br />
Visit our Mania Page Online at: www.nightwire.net<br />
To See Photos Taken During the Games!<br />
<strong>OCT</strong> <strong>2006</strong><br />
31
Evanescence<br />
6 6<br />
Having sold nearly 14 million records worldwide,<br />
well more than 6 million in the U.S. alone, with<br />
their major-label debut Fallen, Evanescence is poised<br />
to continue their meteoric rise with their forthcoming<br />
CD, The Open Door (Wind-up Records),<br />
scheduled for release October 3. The album from<br />
the two-time Grammy-winning band is defined by<br />
Amy Lee’s beautiful melodies, compelling lyrics,<br />
poignant piano and stunning vocals, fused with<br />
Terry Balsamo’s urgent, yet intricate guitar, to form<br />
a seamless, ethereal mixture that perfectly channels<br />
the band’s hard rock and classical sensibilities. The<br />
contributions of members John LeCompt (guitar)<br />
and Rocky Gray (drums) are also evident.<br />
“Making this record has been really intense,” explains<br />
Lee. “Terry suffered a stroke last October<br />
and is still recovering, we got a new manager [Andy<br />
Lurie], and a difficult breakup. But everything we’ve<br />
been through together has benefited this album.”<br />
With Fallen, says Lee, the band had much to prove<br />
while defining its identity. This time, finding a<br />
cohesive writing partner in Terry Balsamo, “we really<br />
took our time crafting this album and had the<br />
freedom to express a broader range of emotions: not<br />
just pain and sadness, but also anger and, yes, even<br />
happiness.”<br />
Written late last year, The Open Door was recorded<br />
at The Record Plant in Los Angeles and mixed at<br />
Ocean Way Studios in March <strong>2006</strong>. Marking the<br />
return of long-time friend and producer Dave Fortman,<br />
the album’s musical elements include a classically-infused<br />
choir and strings on several tracks,<br />
giving further color to songs of introspection, longing,<br />
doubt, self-respect and, ultimately, empowerment.<br />
The album opens with “Sweet Sacrifice,” a<br />
post-relationship catharsis that head-dives from an<br />
otherworldly intro into a hard-driving thrash of hard<br />
rock guitars and soaring rock vocals. Its first single,<br />
the mid-tempo “Call Me When You’re Sober,” reinforces<br />
the moving-away-from-dysfunction theme.<br />
Other standout tracks on The Open Door include<br />
“Lithium,” which embraces feeling over numbness,<br />
“All That I’m Living For,” Lee’s tribute to band<br />
life, “Weight of the World,” her plea for perspective<br />
from the expectation of young fans, and “Good<br />
Enough,” a string-and-choir-infused closer distinguished<br />
as the band’s first truly (almost) contented<br />
song (“It feels really good ending the album this<br />
way,” says Lee). Having toured for a year-and-a-half<br />
straight with only a month off following the release<br />
of Fallen, Evanescence hopes to hit the road this<br />
time out with a care not to neglect key markets<br />
worldwide. Its U.S. tour begins immediately after<br />
the October 3 debut of The Open Door, rewarding<br />
hardcore fans with a “sneak peak” at the album<br />
handful of more intimate theater dates before segueing<br />
into much larger arena shows.<br />
Originally hailing from Little Rock, Arkansas, the<br />
band’s evolving sound – a<br />
nearly mystical marriage between<br />
rock, goth and classical<br />
– was informed by a curious<br />
duality. Lee, who spent nine<br />
years studying classical piano,<br />
explains, “When I was in<br />
high school I listened to a lot<br />
of death metal bands. Both<br />
genres are intricate, complex<br />
types of music that are very<br />
dramatic, and I’m naturally<br />
drawn to that.”<br />
Evanescence self-released two EPs and a first fulllength<br />
album, the much-sought-after Origin, before<br />
finding a home at Wind-up Records. Fallen, their<br />
major-label debut, was released in April 2003 to<br />
critical and commercial success. The internationally<br />
appealing Top 10 singles “Bring Me to Life” and<br />
“My Immortal” helped drive airplay and led to two<br />
2003 Grammy Awards (Best New Artist and Best<br />
Hard Rock Performance for “Bring Me To Life”).<br />
Propelling the band to sales of nearly 14 million albums<br />
worldwide, Fallen spent more than 100 weeks<br />
on Billboard’s Top 200 chart, was certified gold or<br />
platinum in over 35 countries, and sold out arenas<br />
globally. Anywhere But Home, their 2004 live DVD<br />
release, has sold over one million copies to date.<br />
The inherent drama in Evanescence’s music – a<br />
kind of audio odyssey that can turn on a dime from<br />
piano-led introspection to hammering guitar – has<br />
resonated with listeners everywhere. The band’s aggressive<br />
core finds a counterpart in Lee’s passionate<br />
vocals, lyrics that forge a connection with audiences<br />
searching for identity or struggling with feelings of<br />
desire, hope love and loss. The Open Door is a logical<br />
(but certainly not predictable) transformation of<br />
epic proportions for the band, which, in many ways<br />
has only just begun to make its mark on the music<br />
world.<br />
32 <strong>OCT</strong> <strong>2006</strong><br />
<strong>OCT</strong> <strong>2006</strong><br />
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e i a d h f c ^ _ ` e i a d h f<br />
Horoscopes by Terry Lamb October <strong>2006</strong><br />
LIBRA<br />
Sept 22 - Oct 23<br />
AQUARIUS<br />
Jan 19 - Feb 18<br />
GEMINI<br />
May 20 - June 21<br />
New romantic connections are possible through October<br />
15, but there are obscuring factors that may make it hard<br />
to judge if the new prospect is for real due to Mercury’s<br />
impending retrograde. You’ll have to give it time to know<br />
if you can trust the person, at least through November<br />
17. If may be wise to delay intimacy, no matter how<br />
much you want it. Children’s demands for new toys and<br />
pastimes could put the pinch on your budget later, even<br />
though you’re feeling flush now. Thinking ahead will help<br />
you avoid difficulties later.<br />
With your attention mostly on your career, you could<br />
overlook sensitive relationship situations and say the<br />
wrong thing, especially as the tensions mount the end of<br />
the month. Just being alert to others’ perspectives will<br />
keep your communications in balance. Critical dates are<br />
October 5, 15, 22 and 24.<br />
PISCES<br />
Feb 18 - Mar 20<br />
You have more time this month for doing what you<br />
love most – socializing. From parties to dinner<br />
with a few friends to a romantic evening with your<br />
partner, you will revel in the joy of what has been<br />
a rare experience for you this year – relaxation and<br />
appreciation of life with those you love.<br />
CANCER<br />
June 21 - July 22<br />
36 <strong>OCT</strong> <strong>2006</strong><br />
SCORPIO<br />
Oct 23 - Nov 22<br />
This may be a good time to speak thoughtfully, as<br />
Mercury begins it retrograde through your sign. Since it is<br />
a Scorpio quality to withhold your point of view, perhaps<br />
until it is too late, letting others know in a low-key way<br />
what your needs are could be a good start in a new communicative<br />
direction for you.<br />
SAGITTARIUS<br />
Nov 22 - Dec 21<br />
Family are more conciliatory now, especially early in the<br />
month, so leap on the opportunity to heal wounds if it<br />
presents itself. There’ll be a process here that plays out<br />
over October and November, with key dates of October<br />
10 and November 1, 8, 14 and 22. By seeing it as<br />
something that takes more than one encounter to heal,<br />
and by allowing the other parties to see the truth for<br />
themselves, you are responding in the best possible way.<br />
CAPRICORN<br />
Dec 21 - Jan 19<br />
You’re rethinking the ways you connect with others<br />
through your network of friends, colleagues, organizations<br />
and clubs. In the wake of the past year’s growth in this<br />
area, it’s time to take stock of what you want to take with<br />
you into the coming Jupiter cycle, which starts November<br />
23. As Mercury retrogrades through your 11th House<br />
starting 10/18, you may reconsider responsibilities you<br />
took on and extricate yourself from them. If you can give<br />
key people the heads-up before then, your news will be<br />
easier to accept.<br />
You’ve never felt better about your direction in life, and<br />
those close to you are behind you one hundred percent.<br />
Don’t forget to express your appreciation. You’ve come<br />
through a challenging period, and you wouldn’t have<br />
made it without them. You gain the support of others,<br />
perhaps even media attention from far and wide, and this<br />
may include financial reward.<br />
ARIES<br />
Mar 20 - Apr 19<br />
The harmonizing planets are principally felt in your<br />
social life, where difficulties in groups are haled<br />
with the help of a few friends. This involves the<br />
mediation of several people to open the channels to<br />
negotiations and accord. Key dates are October 3,<br />
10, 13, 18 and 19. Events on October 5, 15,<br />
and 22 feed a long-term process that affects your<br />
flow of income.<br />
TAURUS<br />
Apr 19 - May 20<br />
If it seems as though you have another full-time job<br />
taking care of your home and family duties, that’s<br />
Saturn speaking. You’ve been caring more responsibility<br />
there, and that pulls you away for what you’ve<br />
been working toward in your career since 1998.<br />
Although you have another year of this push-pull<br />
process, it gets tremendously easier now. It helps<br />
to remember that personal and family happiness and<br />
security are the goal of career growth, not the other<br />
way around. Listen to what those closest to you<br />
have to say and they will become more insistent after<br />
October 28. Key listening dates are October 5,<br />
15, 22 and 24.<br />
Life is rich with pleasure, especially through October 24,<br />
because you can focus your attention on your home once<br />
more. Children go through an adjustment period to new<br />
influences starting October 1, which becomes apparent<br />
as the month waxes. They need to know why about<br />
something before they’ll accept it. Key dates are October<br />
5, 15, and 22. If you prepare them well, follow-up<br />
events in November and December will flow more<br />
smoothly. Romantic ties go through an adjustment period<br />
as well, backtracking to a previous stage in the relationship<br />
to accommodate your partner’s emotional needs.<br />
LEO<br />
July 22 - Aug 22<br />
Mercury’s latest retrograde, which starts on October 28,<br />
will bring issues out at home, enabling you to clear the<br />
air about suppressed issues. Communications early in the<br />
month will reveal the form the relevant situations will take,<br />
even though the underlying issues will be the ones you’ve<br />
been dealing with all year. Observe what you experience<br />
on October 15, 22 and 24 for events that will give you<br />
clues to what’s up, and you may even be able to head off<br />
misunderstandings at these times. You can smooth over<br />
emotional issues by spending time together outside your<br />
home – go to a move or community event to bring your<br />
relationship back to neutral ground.<br />
VIRGO<br />
Aug 22 - Sept 22<br />
If your partner is more conciliatory now, it is because<br />
you are more relaxed. You can use this time to<br />
refocus your relationships in a positive direction,<br />
especially in the first half of the month. Listen<br />
closely to what others are saying, but don’t ignore<br />
your own insights. As the month waxes, an issue<br />
will emerge that raises the old dilemma of who’s right<br />
and who’s wrong, and you’ll find that it’s somewhere<br />
in between.<br />
<strong>OCT</strong> <strong>2006</strong> 37
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