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New Visions of Manhood
Virginia Tech
and Our Culture
of Violence
Voice Male
The Magazine of The Men’s Resource Center for change
spring 2007
HaD ENOUGH OF
P0RN
CULTURE?
HOW MEN CAN MAKE
A DIFFERENT CHOICE
INSIDE
The Crime of
Breathing While Black
Iraq Vets’ Rocky Road Home
My Prostate Cancer:
There Were No Symptoms

From The Editor
• Voice Male
Virginia Tech and Our Culture of Violence
Through the Looking Glass of
Violence
It’s happened again. A news
report interrupts our lives: a man
has shot up a campus, killing 32
people and himself. We are sick
at heart, angry, outraged—and
strangely numb. We have been stricken
with a case of Columbinitis, a malaise
that desensitizes people to violence. We
distance ourselves from our feelings,
passively consume television coverage
of “Tragedy at Virginia Tech,” a new
program broken into carefully packaged
infotainment segments. Either we
become numb by watching the same
footage over and over, the same students
and expert talking heads being
interviewed, or we tune out completely,
overwhelmed by a culture that feeds
on violence.
Violence is an international commodity;
violence sells, as the late George
Gerbner, the renowned culture critic,
succinctly put it. Spoken language is
almost irrelevant in the onslaught of
brutal images, cascading from every
nook and cranny of U.S. popular culture
and hungrily rebroadcast worldwide.
By popular culture I mean more
than Hollywood, the music biz, video
games, and the products of corporate
media spinmeisters. Peek into the briefing
room culture at the White House,
and the Defense and State departments.
War sells, too. Just ask the profiteers
pulling the strings at Blackwater and
Halliburton. From the first jazzy graphics
displayed on TV when we began
invading Iraq, through the start of this
fifth season of the reality series “War in
the Middle East” (will its run be longer
than that of The West Wing?), the media
keep colluding with the government in
sustaining our most profitable export:
the culture of violence.
Whatever emotional trigger ignited
the rage in Cho Seung-Hui, the man
who killed all those people and himself,
“ Whatever emotional trigger ignited the rage in Cho Seung-
Hui,
our twisted culture provided plenty of matches. Like the
rest of us,
our twisted culture provided plenty of
matches. Like the rest of us, he had
opportunities every day to tune in to
talk radio for a dose of vitriol to get the
juices flowing. Or, like us, he had easy
access to the latest release from the
gangsta rapper of the month, or the latest
shoot-’em-up-blow-’em-up playing
at the local cineplex. We are so saturated
with the stench of violence, is it any
wonder we already feel full when called
to the table for a 33-course killing fields
feast? We can’t even smell the toxic
sludge we’ve become so accustomed to
the odor.
The obligatory rumblings for gun control
(which the National Rifle Association
for years has so successfully fended
off) will most likely morph into a new
uproar, but don’t expect gun-toting politicians
like Vice President Dick Cheney
or presidential wannabe Mitt Romney
to be leading the charge. The veep is
still walking tall, even after shooting a
friend on a hunting trip, and the former
Massachusetts governor now preens as
a born-again hunter. Anyone out there
willing to take on the NRA now?
But of course it is not just the NRA.
Just as it’s not the tough-talking bluster
from the current resident of the White
House, as culpable as both the gun
lobby and George Bush are in feeding
and watering the culture of violence.
Sadly, there is plenty of room at the
table for many more violence vultures.
Some claim that media violence
causes real-world violence. Gerbner,
who many believe was the country’s
leading researcher on the social effects
of television, encouraged citizens to
consider the issue more critically, “to
think about the psychological, political,
social and developmental impacts of
growing up and living within a cultural
environment of pervasive, ritualized
violent images.” That is our current
predicament and it is why so many of us
are numbed by this latest horrific killing
spree rather than stirred to action. But it
is not too late.
Our children, especially the younger
ones who must, at all costs, be shielded
from the details of what happened on
April 16 in Virginia, need us to get this
right and get it right now. In our work at
the Men’s Resource Center for Change,
helping men to overcome the damaging
effects of conventional, tough-talking,
violence-embracing manhood, my colleagues
and I know that abusive and
violent men can change if they want
to. Even in the face of a society that
keeps dishing out super-sized portions
of violent pop culture. A question: Do
we have the collective will to push back
from the table where such poison continues
to be served up? Are we ready to
go on a violence-free diet, replacing its
burnt offerings with fruit from the tree
of peace? VM
Rob Okun is editor of Voice Male and
executive director of the Men's Resource
Center for Change. He can be reached
at rob.okun@mrcforchange.org.
2

Table of
Contents
Features
Men Speak Out on Gender, .............7
Sex and Power
By Shira Tarrant
Real Men, Real Choices ...............8
By Robert Jensen
There Were No Symptoms. ............11
By Felicity Pool and Allen Davis
Good and Bad News on ................13
Domestic Violence
By Stephen McArthur
A Vet for Peace. ...................14
By Eric Wasileski
The Shameful Neglect of Our ........15
Veterans’ Emotional Needs
By Rob Okun
Pop Culture and Pornography ........21
By Gail Dines
Columns & Opinion
From the Editor ......................2
Mail Bonding ........................4
Men @ Work ........................5
Color Lines ........................17
The Crime of Breathing While Black
By Christopher Rabb
GBQ Resources .....................18
OutLines. ..........................19
My Gay San Francisco, Then and Now
By Les K. Wright
Resources ..........................22
Thank You .........................26
MRC Programs & Services ............27
COVER PHOTOS: © istockphoto.com/Sladjan Lukic/Alex Nikada
Voice Male
Editor – Rob Okun
Managing Editor – Michael Burke
Designer – Mary Zyskowski
VOICE MALE is published quarterly by the
Men’s Resource Center for Change, 236 North
Pleasant St., Amherst, MA 01002. It is mailed
to donors and subscribers in the U.S., Canada,
and overseas and distributed at select locations
around New England. The opinions expressed in
VOICE MALE may not represent the views of all
staff, board, volunteers, or members of the Men’s
Resource Center for Change. Copyright © 2007
Voice Male Magazine.
Subscriptions: For subscription information, call
(413) 253-9887, ext. 16, or go to www.mrcforchange.org
and follow the links to subscribe to
VOICE MALE.
Advertising: For VOICE MALE advertising rates
and deadlines, call (413) 253-9887, ext. 16.
Submissions: The editors welcome letters, articles,
news items, article ideas and queries, and information
about events of interest. We encourage
unsolicited manuscripts, but cannot be responsible
for their loss. Manuscripts sent through the mail
will be responded to and returned if accompanied
by a self-addressed stamped return envelope. Send
articles and queries to Editors, VOICE MALE, 236
Voice Male
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Spring 2007 •
3

Mail
Dear Gentle Men,
It has come to our attention that you harbor
some misconceptions about us and our
intentions, ones which we most fervently
hope to dissuade you of, because these misunderstandings
and falsehoods are preventing
us from working together toward a more
balanced society. Allow us to reassure you:
1. We do not wish to castrate you. We
have no desire to have your testicles in jars
of formaldehyde on our nightstands.
2. You may rest easy. We are not asking
for a complete role reversal in which we put
you in the positions we have occupied these
many thousands of years; we do not want to
confine you to home, cooking and cleaning,
caring for the children, and bringing us a
beer while we watch the game after a long,
hard day at the Senate. We admit to sometimes
having playful revenge fantasies about
it, but not really.
3. Some of us are lesbians, but most of
us aren’t. Many of us are adamantly checking
out your hindquarters as you walk by.
Most of us can, in fact, “get a man” if we so
wish.
4. A lot of us like lipstick and the occasional
short skirt. It’s just that we don’t like
to be expected to wear these items.
5. We want you to think we’re hot, just as
you want us to find you physically attractive;
it’s fine that you like our breasts. It’s just that
we want you to realize there is a fully functional
brain behind our long-lashed eyes, and
a human heart beating beneath those jugs.
6. We like sex. No, really. We do.
7. Most of us appreciate that you’ve been
opening doors for us. That’s very nice of
you. But (contrary to some of the things
we’ve heard you muttering) that really
doesn’t make you the gender that is being
oppressed and subordinated. We’re sorry,
but opening an occasional door or even
picking up the tab at Red Lobster does not
“even the score,” and if you think that it
does then you have not been paying attention.
For example, we would gladly trade
your chivalrous portal-opening skills and
the $23.45 you just paid for dinner…for
equal wages.
8. We’re not blaming you for everything
(a good bit of it is our bad), and we don’t
think we’re the only ones suffering from
the current state of affairs. For example, we
imagine it must suck that if you actually
want to stay home with the kids instead of
climbing the corporate ladder, then you’re
labeled a big ol’ wuss who’s been whipped.
We are also aware that since sexism is
largely an unconscious social construct,
only a very small number of you are ever
actually consciously trying to “keep women
in their place,” and an equally small number
of you are even aware that there’s a
problem to be addressed. But we give you
kudos when you are willing to allow yourselves
to be made aware of the issue and the
proposed solutions to it.
9. The dictionary defines feminism as
“the doctrine advocating social, political,
and all other rights of women equal to those
of men.” Feminism does not claim the
superiority of women, nor does it involve
man-hating. Indeed, it is not even an allgirls
club. Chicks dig feminist guys.
10. Actually, we are not particularly
angry, and we are not perpetually PMSing.
We just want change and we’re starting to
get impatient about it because it’s been a
really, really long wait for us.
We cannot achieve equality without you.
You are the other half of the equation, the
other half of humanity, and we regret to
assert that you are the ones in power. With
power comes responsibility, responsibility
that we are happy to share with you. We
hope very much that you will consider
dropping the baseless fears some of you
hold about us, because we think of you as
our allies, not our enemies. Ours is not a
“war of the sexes.” Ours is a war on sexism.
We invite you to enlist.
Much Love, Feminists
P.S. Please put the toilet seat down.
Thank you.
Erica Little-Herron
Sharpsburg, Md.
Erica Little-Herron writes a column for
the Shepherd University newspaper in
Maryland.
We Want to Hear from You!
Write us at:
Voice Male, MRC, 236 North Pleasant St.
Amherst, MA 01002 or Fax (413) 253-4801
voicemale.editor@mrcforchange.org
Please include address and phone.
Letters may be edited for clarity and length.
Deadline for Summer issue: June 5, 2007
National Advisory Board
Voice Male Magazine
Men’s Resource Center For Change
• Voice Male
John Badalament, Boston
Juan Carlos Areán, Boston
Byron Hurt, New York City
Robert Jensen, Austin
Sut Jhally, Northampton, Mass.
Jackson Katz, Long Beach, Calif.
Joe Kelly, Duluth, Minn.
Michael Kimmel, Brooklyn
Bill T. Jones, New York City
Michael Messner, Los Angeles
Don McPherson, Long Island, N.Y.
Craig Norberg-Bohm, Boston
Haji Shearer, Boston
4

Men @ Work
Anationally known antiviolence activist and educator, a
longtime champion of women’s rights and women’s
reproductive health, and two college-age mentors and activists
were honored at the Eleventh Challenge & Change
Celebration, an annual dinner the Men’s Resource Center for
Change (MRC) hosted on April 22 at the Log Cabin Banquet
& Meeting House, in Holyoke, Mass. Northampton mayor
Clare Higgins served as honorary
chair. The event marked the
first in a series celebrating the
MRC’s 25th anniversary.
Award recipients were Jackson
Katz of Long Beach, Calif.,
author of The Macho Paradox:
Why Some Men Hurt Women
and How All Men Can Help, and
Four Honored at Men’s Center’s
11th Challenge & Change Awards Dinner
Katz
Lowenstein-
Kitchell
co-creator of the video Tough Guise: Violence, Media and the
Crisis in Masculinity; Susan Lowenstein-Kitchell of Amherst,
co-director of the Western Massachusetts Abortion Rights
Fund; and Aaron Buford and Malcolm Chu, co-facilitators
of the MRC’s Young Men of Color Leadership group and
student leaders at Commonwealth College at the University
of Massachusetts.
Jackson Katz is one of the nation’s leading advocates
for men’s work in preventing violence against women. A former
all-state high school football player and the first man at
the University of Massachusetts to earn a minor in women’s
studies, he is the founder and director of MVP Strategies, an
organization providing gender violence prevention training
to colleges, high schools, professional and college sports
teams, community groups, corporations, and the U.S. military
(including the first such program in the history of the Marine
Corps). Tough Guise, the video he created with the Media
Education Foundation of Northampton, Mass., has been
screened around the country and overseas. He has lectured at
hundreds of schools and colleges across the nation and is a
member of the national advisory board of the MRC and Voice
Male magazine. “Jackson tapped into his passion for justice
for women, and his voice urging men to work for peace in
our homes and communities when he was a student at UMass
more than 25 years ago,” said Rob Okun, MRC executive
director. “He has never looked back. We are glad he is in
Amherst this year so we could honor him in his home away
from home.”
Susan Lowenstein-Kitchell received the Challenge
& Change woman’s award in recognition of her decades of
work advocating for women and women’s reproductive rights,
including in her capacity as co-director of the Abortion Fund
of Western Massachusetts. Her history of activism goes back to
her days as a student in the 1940s at Bard College, where she
worked for a group called “People’s Songs” whose members
included Pete Seeger. The group was blacklisted in the frenzy
of anti-Communist paranoia. She was later active in the boycott
of grapes on behalf of farm
workers, and in protests against
the Vietnam War. “Susie began
working on behalf of women’s
rights, especially their rights of
personal choice, right from the
Buford
Chu
beginning of Roe v. Wade some
35 years ago. She became
involved very early with the
Abortion Rights Fund of Western Massachusetts, which was
created to fill the significant gap women face if they are not on
Medicaid, are poor, young, and have no or inadequate insurance,”
Okun said. “She remains at the forefront of this aspect of
women’s rights today. We are privileged to be honoring one of
the mothers of this movement.”
Receiving the MRC Ozzy Klate Memorial Youth Award
are Aaron Buford and Malcolm Chu, both sophomores
at Commonwealth College at UMass and co-leaders
of the MRC’s Young Men of Color Leadership group. Aaron
is coordinator of a UMass high school tutoring/mentoring
program involving 17 student volunteers at Amherst
Regional High School and is secretary for diversity issues
at UMass, where he serves in the cabinet of student government.
Malcolm is a member of the University Alliance for
Community Transformation, a mentor/tutor in the Amherst
High School program, and works with the Office of Programs
and Services for students of color at the university.
Said the MRC’s Okun, “Aaron and Malcolm are natural
leaders whose efforts on behalf of younger students are not just
admirable but also highly effective. Passionate, articulate, and
visionary, they blend activism, academic excellence, and commitment
to their roles in the college and greater community.”
A number of area banks, businesses, and educational institutions
collectively underwrote all expenses associated with the
awards dinner so there was no charge to attend, Okun said.
Those attending were invited to voluntarily make a contribution
and all money raised at the event went directly to support MRC
programs and services. To make your own contribution to the
MRC, contact David Gillham at (413) 253-9887, ext.16, or
e-mail david.gillham@mrcforchange.org.
Spring 2007 •
5

• Voice Male Men @ Work
Men @ Work continued from page 5
Reviving Ophelia: The Play
The landmark book Reviving Ophelia:
Saving the Selves of Adolescent
Girls, has now become a play. That’s
only appropriate for a book that adopted
its central metaphor from Hamlet.
Award-winning playwright Cherrie
Bennett adapted Dr. Mary Pipher’s book
into a gripping story of four teenage
girls battling the corrosive influence
of popular culture and searching for
the personal North Star that will guide
them home. The play has already toured
through many urban, suburban, and rural
schools and met with equal success. To
learn more about Reviving Ophelia visit
http://dramaticpublishing.com/catalogdetail.cfm?listcode=R79.
Now we need
Awakening Hamlet, the counterpart play
for boys.
Men’s AIDS Awareness in
Kenya
Some medical students in the
Chicago area doing HIV/AIDS
work in Kenya are on a mission to
assist that African nation in the fight
against the deadly disease.
According to Rishi Rattan of the
College of Medicine at the University
of Illinois Chicago campus, books are
needed on masculinities, gender, and
sexuality. While in Kenya, medical students
Justin List, Andrew Loehrer, and
Lisa Dunning learned that the organization
MMAAK (Movement of Men
Against AIDS in Kenya) is seeking
books on masculinities, gender, and sexuality
for their library. A campaign has
begun to provide the books.
Voice Male is assisting in the effort
by donating a set of back issues of the
magazine and it urges readers to donate
books and articles to help the cause. To
learn how you can help, write Justin
List at the Stritch School of Medicine,
Loyola University Chicago, jlist@lumc.
edu.
Confronting Homophobia
in Kentucky
Gay activists alarmed at an evangelical
Christian leader’s extreme
stance on homosexuality staged a
sit-in at the office of the president
of the Southern Baptist Theological
Seminary in Louisville, Kentucky,
earlier this spring.
A dozen members of the group,
Soulforce, were arrested in late March,
according to media reports. Seminary
president R. Albert Mohler Jr. wrote in a
recent article that homosexuality would
remain a sin even if it were biologically
based, and that he supported a hypothetical
medical treatment that could switch
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For men looking to let go of patterns that don’t work
and create a more purposeful, fulfilling life.
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an unborn baby’s sexual orientation from
gay to straight.
Twelve members of Soulforce were
charged with criminal trespassing—a
misdemeanor—and booked into jail,
Louisville police said. The sit-in in front
of Mohler’s office lasted about two
hours, said Jarrett Lucas, a co-director
of a Soulforce tour of Christian colleges.
Lucas said group members wanted
Mohler to rescind his comments and
publicly apologize.
“Some of us were raised in a southern
Baptist tradition, so for him to
deny his own constituents simply a
conversation—we wanted to go have
him hear our voice. We were denied
that,” Lucas said.
Soulforce, a nonprofit organization
based in Lynchburg, Va., has organized
several national tours to religious and
military colleges to protest their attitudes
about gays, lesbians, bisexuals,
and transgendered people. Members
also were arrested in March at demonstrations
staged at Oklahoma Baptist
University. VM
REED SCHIMMELFING, MSW
Licensed Independent Clinical Social Worker
Psychotherapy
for Individuals and Relationships
Northampton office
413-586-7454
reedschim@yahoo.com
6

New Men’s Anthology Due Out in November
Men Speak Out on Gender, Sex and
Power
By Shira Tarrant
Feminism is a dirty word. It conjures
images of whiny, bitchy
women with sanctimonious
complaints about men. And
the men who call themselves
“feminist”? If they aren’t simply whipped,
then it’s a cheap ploy at getting laid. Or so
the story goes.
But that’s an old version of the story.
Fortunately, it looks like we’re in the midst
of change.
Recently, I was teaching in the women’s
studies program at a small, East Coast
liberal arts college outside of Baltimore. At
first there were only one or two young men
among the women enrolled in my classes.
Soon there were more. They trickled in
from the soccer team, the basketball team,
the swim team, and the arts. They majored
in physics, political science, mathematics,
and dance. Who were these guys, I wondered.
And how could I find more of them?
Some answers came from conversations
that I had with these same young men after
class, sitting on the campus lawn. They
wanted to know if there were other guys out
there who were also trying to make sense
of their experiences in today’s culture, finding
some past assumptions about both men
and women no longer serve them. They
wanted to know that they weren’t alone in
rethinking gender, and that it was possible
to make a change. They wanted to know
that they—and these other men—weren’t
wimps.
My response was to compile an anthology
of essays by men who are speaking
out about feminist issues. The result is Men
Speak Out, a fresh look at gender, sex,
and power—and feminism—a collection
of essays about men making their way in a
world that is struggling to rethink manhood
and masculinity. This is a collection about
men—written by men—who are willing
to stare down these issues head on. Their
voices are contemporary and vital.
When I set out to collect a series of
Were “ there other guys
out
there also trying to
make
sense of today’s culture,
finding past assumptions
about both men
and women no longer
essays serve that are them? direct and They expressive in
their interrogation of masculinity and
power, I posted my request to a number of
relevant websites and listservs. I wanted to
compile as diverse a selection as possible.
Queries came from activist men, university
men, men who used to be women,
men from the South, men from the North,
and men from places in between. I heard
from queer men, straight men, and bi
men; from young men, older men, Black,
Latino, Jewish, and white men. E-mails of
interest and support poured in from New
Zealand, South Africa, England, Australia,
Poland, Uruguay, Vietnam, Lapland—you
get the picture. Many sent notes just to say
thanks in advance for a book they’ve been
waiting for. This response—awesome and
humbling—was good news. There are
many good men out there actively working
to end male pattern domination and the
abuse and misuse of power over others.
There are so many creating new answers
to old problems.
Encouraged by the response, I hatched
a plan while preparing for a cross-country
move back to California. Armed with over
2,000 photocopied announcements explaining
the book and inviting men to send in
their written thoughts, I planned to leave
fliers behind at every college town and
coffee house, truck stop and Bob Evans restaurant,
coast to coast. This ambitious idea
petered out somewhere around Indiana,
where the road ahead looked longer and
longer and the days and nights joined
together as I drove with my family across
the country. I did get the chance, though, to
leave fliers at many places: at a corner bar
in Athens, Ohio; a Starbucks in Cleveland;
the Presbyterian Manor Senior Retirement
Home in Salina, Kansas; at a down-onits-luck
casino outside of Reno, Nevada.
I papered the National Women’s Studies
Association Conference in Oakland before
heading south to Los Angeles, and stuck
my head into the kitchen at a Mexican restaurant
along the way to share some fliers.
To my utter surprise and delight, the cook
there said he’d already seen the call for
submissions online. The word was out and
the response was tremendous.
Some men in this book recount their
personal challenges with living up to the
demands of “traditional” masculinity.
Others are quintessential guys’ guys who
love sports and beer. But one thing brings
these men together on these pages if not
in their day-to-day lives: Each of them
struggles, in his own ways, with the personal
and political limits that conventional
masculinity imposes. Their unflinchingly
honest prose tackles the politics of domination
and strategies for change. They deal
not only with the difficulties of being a
man, but also with the challenges of being
a man who is grappling with sexism.
What becomes immediately clear is
an encouraging theme: that we have tremendous
potential for personal and political
change. Hank Shaw, a writer from
Rochester, New York, a self-described
“guy off the street who bangs out words for
a living,” got his feet on the street when he
took action against two local pornographers
continued on page 25
Spring 2007 •
7

Men and Pornography
REaL MEN,
REaLCH0ICES
By Robert Jensen
REAL MEN First, let me say what I don’t mean by the term “real men.” I am not
referring to some concept of an “authentic” masculinity, to some notion of what
it means to be a real man. In this sense, there are no real men. Masculinity,
like femininity, is a trap, a way to constrain human beings—wildly variable in
our capacities—into predetermined social roles that define and confine rather
than open up and liberate.
• Voice Male
But in shaping a political strategy, we
must take note of where and how real male
humans really live in the real world. After
many years of talking to men, in formal
research interviews and informally, here’s
what I’ve concluded:
Although we can never know who they
are, there likely are some men who are
beyond the reach of the call to love and
justice, probably forever. Some men are
so committed to dominance and male
supremacy that they have, for all practical
purposes, lost their souls. There are
no doubt complex explanations for this,
but in practical political terms, these men
are not my target audience. The same can
be said of some white people, some rich
people, some Americans. For whatever
reason, some people in positions of privilege
and power seem beyond the reach of
an appeal based in empathy and shared
humanity. Coming to terms with that
rather sad reality is difficult, but necessary.
The good news, however, is that we
Editor’s Note: This is an edited version of
a talk given to the Pornography and Pop
Culture conference at Wheelock College,
Boston, March 24, 2007.
don’t have to win over every single man
to change the culture.
Our focus should be on the men who are
struggling. These are the men I know and
speak with often. That is the man I am. We
struggle to make sense of our socialization.
We struggle to be decent in a world in
which it’s easy to simply accept our privilege
and power. Often, we fail. But there’s a
case that can be made to those men, a combination
of an argument from justice and an
argument from self-interest. The argument
from justice is simple: Participating in the
sexual exploitation industries—pornography,
prostitution, strip bars—is incompatible
with a serious commitment to our stated
principles; there can be no gender justice in
a world where some women can be bought
and sold.
But we also have to offer men a vision
of the world that gives them a way out
of the masculinity trap. Many men feel
distress over the way in which patriarchy
undermines our humanity. I emphasize
this not to elevate men’s pain, but to argue
that if we don’t take account of men’s pain
we may not be able to change the world to
end men’s violence against women.
I was slow to understand this, and ironically
it was Gail Dines who helped me—
or, perhaps, forced me—to see this. Gail
has a son, and we have talked often about
her hopes for a world in which her son,
and boys and men like him, can find space
to be fully human. Gail has often told
me that I can be too hard on men, that in
my anger—at men and at myself—I was
missing an essential aspect of this work.
I was missing the universal love that the
late Andrea Dworkin expressed, not only
for women but for men. It took me longer
than it should have to fully understand
that feminism—especially the most radical
feminism—is rooted not in contempt
for men but in holding men accountable
out of a faith in human beings.
That’s what I want for my son. Like
Gail, I have one child, a boy. And, like
Gail, I want my boy to be a decent person
in a world where being decent is the norm.
I don’t want him to be a man. I want him
to be a human being. My boy came into
this world as a human being. He deserves
the chance to hold on to that humanity, as
we all do. And if we don’t find a way to
continued on page 10
8

PORN
=
sexism
© istockphoto.com/Leon
Remembering andrea Dworkin—and 0ur Humanity
The late Andrea Dworkin’s presence loomed over the
Pornography and Pop Culture conference held at Wheelock
College in Boston in March. If not for her groundbreaking
work, I am sure I and many others would not have been there.
Andrea shook the world, and after that shock we all had a
choice: Would we duck and cover, and look for
a way to avoid what she demanded that we face?
Or would we have the courage to look at the
world through her eyes and see where it led us?
It wasn’t easy for me to do that. It took me more
years than I want to remember to start that process,
and it remains a difficult road to walk. But
when I finally quit looking for a place to hide and
stepped onto that road, the possibility of a new
world opened up for me. Andrea’s work was my
first entrée into radical politics, a way of seeing
not just men’s oppression of women but also other illegitimate
hierarchies, connected to race in white supremacy, to wealth in a
predatory corporate capitalism, and to national identity in a world
dominated by the U.S. empire.
I am wary of canonizing individuals or ascribing to them too
much power; coming to this with left/feminist politics, I believe in
the power of people, not leaders, to change the world. But I want
to recognize Andrea Dworkin, not because we all have to agree
with every aspect of her analysis or political strategy. Instead, I
simply want to honor her insight, dedication, courage, and—most
of all—her humanity.
In this world in which we live, there is suffering beyond
description. Some of that suffering we see on the news, for example,
when the consequences of the U.S. invasion and occupation
of Iraq become difficult for mainstream society to ignore. Some
of that suffering is out of view, behind closed doors, where men’s
violence is still too often hidden away as a private affair. And some
of that suffering is filmed and sold for the sexual pleasure of others,
primarily men.
That pain, and Andrea’s understanding of it, is for me at the
heart of a message we must take to men. My brothers and I are
capable of barbaric violence and of sexualizing that violence; we
too often find pleasure in the abandonment of
our own humanity. I say “my brothers and I” not
to claim that all men are violent or use pornography
but to emphasize that there is a common
socialization that produces such behavior and
a common responsibility to end it. And, just as
important, there is a common humanity to which
we can appeal. In a specific moment, a man
might abandon this humanity, but that does not
mean that no appeal to our humanity is possible.
Although it may seem odd, I learned that most
profoundly not from other men, but from Andrea Dworkin.
Despite her reputation as a “man-hater,” Dworkin loved people
and she saw men as people, refusing to give up on us. No one was
fiercer in naming men’s violence and holding men accountable,
but she did not abandon hope in us.
“I don’t believe rape is inevitable or natural,” she said in 1983,
speaking to a group of men. “If I did, I would have no reason to
be here. If I did, my political practice would be different than it is.
Have you ever wondered why we [women] are not just in armed
combat against you? It’s not because there’s a shortage of kitchen
knives in this country. It is because we believe in your humanity,
against all the evidence.”
I think that faith is important to hold on to as we fashion
strategies for talking to men, demanding that men end their use of
pornography, and enlisting men as allies in a feminist movement
for justice.
—Robert Jensen
Spring 2007 •
9

Real Men, Real Choices continued from page 8
allow our boy children to do that, I fear
that our girl children have no chance.
P0RN P0INTS
• Voice Male
Real choices
The pornographers and their apologists
have done a masterful job of focusing the
debate on the choices of women who participate
in the industry. If women choose
to perform in pornography, who are we to
condemn them? I agree; I have never condemned
the women in pornography, nor
has anyone in the feminist anti-pornography
movement. Many complex questions
arise from women’s participation in pornography,
none of which are my subject
here. Instead, I want to refocus on men and
our choices. The questions I want to ask
are not about why women choose to perform
in pornography, but why men choose
to masturbate to pornography. What does
that choice that a man makes mean for
women, and what does it mean for the
man?
My argument is simple: When men
choose to spend their money on pornography,
they are (1) contributing to the
subordination of women in the sexual
exploitation industries; and (2) robbing
themselves of the possibility of being
fully human.
On (1): For the sake of argument, let’s
assume that some women who perform in
pornography make completely free choices
to participate, as women in the industry
often assert that they do, with absolutely
no constraints or limitations on them.
That could be the case, though it doesn’t
alter the unavoidable conclusion that some
number of women in the industry—likely
a majority—choose under conditions that
make choice much more complex (histories
of sexual abuse, economic hardship,
perceived and/or actual lack of opportunities,
within a culture that glamorizes the
sex industry).
In most cases, the consumer has no
reliable way to judge which women are
participating in the industry as a result
of a meaningfully free choice. When a
consumer plays a DVD at home, he has
no information that could help him make
continued on page 20
EFFECTS ON CHILDREN
The biggest group of Internet porn consumers are aged 12 to 17. (Boston
Globe, 2005)
A therapist in Boston reports treating children as young as 10 for
porn addiction. (Boston Globe, 2005)
One researcher found that 87 percent of the molesters of girls, and
77 percent of the molesters of boys, reported regular use of hard-core
pornography. (Marshall, 1988)
It is estimated that 20 percent of all pornography on the Internet
involves children. (NCMEC)
EFFECTS ON USERS
It is estimated that 15 percent of people using Internet pornography
develop a compulsive habit that disrupts their lives. (Pamela Paul,
Pornified, 2005)
One psychiatrist specializing in treatment of sexual dysfunction
estimates that 60 percent of his cases are directly related to the
Internet. (The Sunday Paper, Atlanta)
“I’ve definitely noticed that naked images that used to arouse me
don’t anymore, so I had to move on. I found that I was getting numb
to basic images. I needed to keep progressing to more explicit stuff.”
(“Dave,” porn user, quoted in Paul, Pornified)
EFFECTS ON RELATIONSHIPS
At the 2002 American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers convention,
attorneys present reported that 56 percent of their recent divorce
cases resulted from a spouse’s compulsive Internet porn use.
(Paul, Pornified)
Research has found that 41 percent of surveyed adults admitted they
felt insecure and less attractive due to their partner’s pornography
use. (Yarhouse, Marriage Related Research)
“I don’t see how any male who likes porn can think actual sex is
better, at least if it involves all the crap that comes with having
a real live female in your life.” (“Frank,” porn user, quoted in
Paul, Pornified)
EFFECTS ON WOMEN’S SAFETY
A 1984 research study found that the state of Alaska ranked first
both in porn magazine sales and in rapes; Nevada was second on both
measures. (Baron and Straus)
A women’s crisis center serving Wahpeton, North Dakota, reported a 96
percent increase in domestic violence and sexual assault calls after
a second strip club opened in town. (Not for Sale)
In Phoenix, neighborhoods with a porn outlet had 500 percent more
sexual offenses than neighborhoods without. (U.S. Department of
Justice, 1988)
“We feel confident in our findings that pornography is harmful.
Our study involved more than 12,000 participants and
very rigorous analyses. I can think of no beneficial effects
of pornography whatsoever.”
—RESEARCHER DR. CLAUDIO VIOLATO, UNIVERSITY OF CALGARY
10

Diagnosis: Prostate Cancer
There Were No Symptoms
By Felicity Pool and Allen Davis
In 21st-century America, one out of every six men will be diagnosed with prostate cancer during his lifespan, especially from age 45 on. That’s 218,890 new cases.
This year 27,050 men will die from the disease, many unnecessarily. Routine physicals leading to early diagnosis and prompt treatment are highly effective. In the words
that follow, Felicity Pool and Allen Davis invite Voice Male readers into a recent time in their lives when they were dealing with a dangerous and challenging episode for
both of them—Allen’s diagnosis of prostate cancer.
There were no symptoms. Allen had none
of the worrying capital-letter “Warning
Signs of Prostate Cancer”—urinary discomfort,
erection and ejaculation troubles,
bloody urine or semen, pains in the pelvic
area. No one in the family had had the
disease, nor was any relative known to
be African American or Native American
(both additional risk factors). Allen was an
apparently healthy 59 . . . but with a PSA of
4.6 (up from 3.5 the previous year).
If you’re a person fortunate enough not
to have had to learn cancer language and
cancer numbers, you might not know that
PSA stands for Prostate-Specific Antigen,
a protein made in the prostate gland and
routinely released into the bloodstream.
The more of the antigen found outside
the gland, the likelier it is you’ve got
prostate trouble, and the biggest trouble
is cancer. Blood drawn from the arm can
be analyzed for PSA levels: a reading of
0–4 is generally considered normal, 4–10
is intermediate, 10 and above is high.
Allen’s PSA had increased more than
a point in one year—from 3.5 to 4.6.
“Don’t worry,” said his friend Jonathan.
“You get a lot of false positives with that
test.” A colleague announced, “I’m not
even bothering with a PSA—too many
inflated numbers and false alarms.” The
doctor explained, “A PSA is the most sensitive
diagnostic test we have, and with
more sensitivity comes more likelihood
of false positives. But if we repeat it and
do another test as well, the information is
extremely accurate.” Back Allen went to
the laboratory for more blood work.
“PSA of 4.4,” reported his doctor this
time around. “But your Free PSA is 16.9
percent. Come in to the office for followup.”
Each of the doctors we saw was male.
The waiting-room chairs were occupied
mostly by males. In so strong a samegender
context, a
person might look for
camaraderie, an empathic sharing of
stories or the gory anxieties of what-next.
But no one in the chairs spoke or made
eye contact.
We had more cancer language to learn.
We’re including it here because we found
it comforting when our friends and family
understood what was worrying us,
once we had the second set of Allen’s
numbers. Imagining how many other
men and their loved ones will be having
to interpret PSA numbers, it feels helpful
to spread the comfort of understanding.
Prostate-Specific Antigen is found in
the blood in two ways—molecularly
bound up or unattached (i.e. running
“free” in the blood). In general, to find
a low percent of PSA free means that a
high percent is bound up, an indicator of
prostate cancer. Out of every 100 cases
detected, 92 of the men had a Free PSA
score below 25 percent. At 16 percent,
therefore, Allen was in an at-risk category.
The frequent occurrence of the disease
presumably explains why our language
contains such an alphabet soup of prostate-related
abbreviations. Next up were
the terms DRE (Digital Rectal Exam),
BPH (Benign Prostatic Hypertrophy), and
Ca (medicalese for cancer). The rectal
exam—insertion of a health practitioner’s
gloved and lubricated finger into a
patient’s rectum—is generally part of an
annual checkup. Enlargement or other
irregularities of the prostate can be detected
via DRE, part of making the diagnosis
between cancer and the noncancerous
gland enlargement called BPH.
Although Allen’s prostate was never
found to be enlarged, a biopsy of the
prostate gland was scheduled because
of his PSA and Free PSA numbers. “We
just want to be sure there’s nothing going
on,” said the doctor, referring Allen to a
urologist, “but I’ll be surprised if they
find anything.”
A referral to a new physician means
getting directions to the office, scheduling
time off work, arranging for the referral
paperwork, and making sure it arrives
at the new office when you do. So you’ve
invested effort and energy just to get
there, before you give your name to the
receptionist, sit down and look around.
At the three urologists’ offices we’ve been
in by now the magazines have tended
toward the stereotypically male-oriented
continued on page 12
Spring 2007 •
11

• Voice Male
There were no symptoms continued from page 11
(business, hunting and fishing, cars).
Each of the doctors we saw was male.
The waiting-room chairs were occupied
mostly by males, with a few female partners.
In so strong a same-gender context,
a person might look for camaraderie,
an empathic sharing of stories or the
gory anxieties of what-next. But no one
in the chairs spoke or made eye contact
except with office staff or, in whispers, to
a companion.
A prostate biopsy is office surgery, an
hour or less with a local anesthetic (like
novocaine at the dentist), after a day
of clear-liquids-only and some cleaning
out of the patient’s bowels. Tissue
samples are taken from up to 12 areas of
the prostate and are then examined for
signs of cancer. “Not bad—I really didn’t
feel a thing” was Allen’s comment as he
emerged back into the waiting room.
The bad part was the five-day wait for
the biopsy results. Even worse was the
news: cancer was found in three of the
tissue samples.
No symptoms + No-higher-than-intermediate-range
PSA scores + No palpable
prostate enlargement = Prostate Cancer.
Unreal.
Deciding What to Do
“I want to be cancer-free,” Allen declared.
So that was the goal of what-to-do-next:
removing the cancer.
It sounds obvious—who wouldn’t want
to remove cancer from his body? But
there are factors—age, general health,
disease progression—that can limit a
man’s options.
Next to lung cancer, prostate malignancy
is the most common cancer to
strike males in America: good news in
that much research is being done; bad
news in that much research is required of
the patient. Current treatment options for
cancer of the prostate are, in alphabetical
order: alternative (nonmedical) therapy,
chemotherapy, hormone therapy, radiation,
and surgery. (For more information
about each, check the websites listed as
resources at the end of this article.)
For Allen, as for the majority of men
with early-stage prostate cancer, surgery
emerged as the likeliest way to get to
his goal. But what kind of surgery?
Traditional removal of the prostate gland
via abdominal incision? Or laparoscopy,
in which instruments are inserted via
mere slits in the abdomen? Or robotic
laparoscopy, where the surgeon works
with the laparoscopic instruments in
a remote-control sort of way, viewing
the patient’s insides on a screen? How
to choose?
The surgeon who did the diagnostic
biopsy had performed close to 500
abdominal prostate surgeries. He had
recently switched to the robotic laparoscopic
procedure. How recently and how
many had he done? “My partner and I
trained a year ago and we’ve done about
50 of them,” he replied. “But there’s a
guy I can refer you to who’s done more
than 300. That’s all he does.” We liked
the man anyway, then liked him even
more for his honesty and for the referral.
Contrary to the old
saying “Ignorance is bliss,” we found
that ignorance led to fear. The more we
found out—especially about the high cure
rates for prostate cancer—
the more empowered and optimistic we
felt.
We made an appointment with the
more-than-300 man, at the big-city hospital
a two-hour drive away. His focus
is on research, looking to perfect the
robotic technique. A personable and
competent guy, we decided, after an
hour’s talk. We planned a surgery date
for six weeks later, when Allen would be
healed from the biopsy.
We met with one more surgeon, a man
who performs nonrobotic laparoscopy at
a medical center roughly an hour’s drive
away. He’s a professor of surgery with
the empathic focus of a good teacher and
the distinguished manner of the longtime
department head. He put it all together
for us: “I’ve been doing this surgery
laparoscopically for a long time and
we’re pretty good at the nerve-sparing
that gets you back to urinary continence
and erectile function. The robotic results
aren’t yet looking much different than
our outcomes, although that could always
change in the future. I think the main
thing is to get rid of the cancer and get
back to normal as soon as possible.”
“Normal” for the doctor and for Allen
includes vigorous squash games several
times a week, and the discussion moved
quickly to how soon after surgery could
that be achieved? We scheduled a surgery
date with this guy and canceled the time
reserved with the robotic-research surgeon
at the city hospital.
Here’s what was most helpful in deciding
what to do:
Gather medical information—online (see website
suggestions below); from people you
know who’ve had similar diagnoses;
from your doctor’s office. Contrary to the
old saying “Ignorance is bliss,” we found
that ignorance led to fear. The more we
found out—especially about the high
cure rates for prostate cancer—the more
empowered and optimistic we felt.
Gather insurance information. Will your coverage
allow you a second opinion? Is
coverage dependent on the procedure
you choose? How much follow-up is
covered? Do you have a choice of hospitals?
Check out the hospital. If you’re going through
this with a supportive partner, he or she
will be spending a fair bit of time at
the medical center while you’re having
surgery (two to four hours) and then for
the 24 hours before you’re discharged. It
was helpful to us to be in as pleasant an
environment as is institutionally possible,
surrounded by friendly staff and comfortable
waiting areas.
Interview doctors, if you have the option of
choosing among different practitioners.
We found ourselves most comfortable
with the surgeon Allen chose not just
because of his excellent credentials but
because he was at ease talking about the
urinary “leakage” (his term) and infirm or
absent erections that are initially a consequence
of prostate surgery.
continued on page 22
12

Report from Vermont
Good and Bad News on Domestic
Violence
By Stephen McArthur
In Vermont, last year was a bad
year for domestic violence.
The Vermont Network Against
Domestic Violence and Sexual
Assault reports that its 16 member
groups served an all-time high of 8,692
victims (mostly women). When it comes
to children, the Vermont Network counted
9,119 children who were exposed to
domestic violence at home.
Many more women never report abuse
for fear of retaliation from their abuser
or family, or because of social pressures
or fear of public embarrassment or rejection.
Most fear economic hardship for
themselves and their children. Because
of the way some stories are reported and
discussed (the Duke lacrosse case and
the Kobe Bryant case come to mind),
some women rightly fear being targeted
for blame.
Media reporting of domestic violence
also often distorts what is really happening.
In some of the local press reports about
the murder of a woman in Lyndonville,
Vt., by her boyfriend, this murder/suicide
was described as a “domestic dispute.”
Think about it. She wanted to break up
with him, and in an act of ultimate power
and control, he killed her and then himself.
If a man rapes a woman on a date,
is this a “dating dispute”? If a man rapes
his wife, is this a “marital dispute”? The
“domestic dispute” characterization minimizes
and normalizes what is actually
an ongoing epidemic of male violence
against women.
In the last 10 years in Vermont, half
of the murders of women by men were
directly related to domestic violence.
Every 15 seconds in America, a man beats
his wife or girlfriend. Every 2.5 minutes,
a man rapes or sexually assaults a woman
or girl, most often one he knows. Women
have led the way in America working to
bring the issue of violence against women
© istockphoto.com/ Mark Coffey
“Isn’t it really in men’s selfinterest
to address gender
violence? Don’t men
care about the women and
girls in our lives? How can
we permit them to live in
communities where they
must constantly look over
their shoulders? Violence
against women has become
so normal, we don’t even
call it what it is—men’s
to the attention of our media, our community
violence organizations, against our women.” governments,
our schools, and our religious institutions.
But now it’s time for men to stand up.
Most men in this country are not violent,
and most do not beat their wives and
girlfriends. And yet, men commit 90 to 95
percent of domestic violence acts. Most
men find it really hard to talk about male
violence, much less do anything about
it. Since they are not violent or it’s not
happening in their family, they needn’t
do anything. Most men believe domestic
violence is a “women’s issue.” And aren’t
there plenty of “women’s” organizations
around to deal with it?
Given the prevalence of male violence
against women, why has this not been a
very public men’s issue? Isn’t it really
in men’s self-interest to address gender
violence? Don’t men really care about
the women and girls in our lives? How
can we permit them to live in communities
where they must constantly look over
their shoulders? Violence against women
has become so normal, we don’t even
call it what it is—men’s violence against
women. How can we empower men to
learn more, to stand up and be heard on
these issues? Public acknowledgment can
be a first step.
Men need to stop being bystanders,
especially men in positions of influence.
More of us must start speaking out against
the abuse of and violence toward women
and children, not to mention male-onmale
violence. Male law enforcement officers,
state legislators, prosecutors, school
administrators, coaches, teachers, business
and religious leaders need to add their
voices to this effort, an effort that has been
carried forward for decades by women.
I co-facilitate (with Meg Kuhner of
Battered Women’s Services and Shelter)
a program in local schools about domestic
and dating violence issues. Some
schools have invited us, some have not.
It's encouraging to see how many students
are relieved to be able to talk about it.
Talking about some of the realities in their
lives like bullying, violence at home, and
dating and sexual violence is a first step.
How significant would it be if more men
in the community began to talk to them
about these issues?
Despite the bad news, there are four
things we can be proud of here in
Vermont:
1. Women in Vermont have founded and
staffed an effective network of 16 organicontinued
on page 25
Spring 2007 •
13

Building Bridges Between Soldiers and the Peace Movement
A Vet for Peace
By Eric Wasileski
• Voice Male
14
I
do vigils for peace, never knowing
the impact I might have on passersby
or the effect they may have
on me. I am a Persian Gulf veteran
of Operation Desert Fox, a divinity
student at Andover-Newton Theological
School as a Quaker, and I serve as president
of the Wally Nelson Chapter (95)
of Veterans for Peace (veteransforpeace.
org) in western Massachusetts. I’m also
the father of a two-year-old daughter. In
the nearly five years I have been vigiling I
have seen the number of one-finger waves
go down dramatically, replaced by the twofinger
peace sign. But on Dr. Martin Luther
King Jr.’s weekend recently, I didn’t know
what would happen at our weekly Saturday
vigil in Greenfield, Mass.
Because the banner I brought is too big
to hold alone, I asked my friend “Ted” to
help. We discussed Dr. King’s tactics. As
a pacifist, I see the world differently from
those who believe peace can be achieved by
force. As Ted and I talked, a Marine private
in uniform walked by our vigil. I blurted out
a hello to him, then Ted yelled in his face,
“Don’t recruit anyone today!” The private
replied defensively, “Thanks for supporting
me,” and moved on.
I was dismayed, and told Ted, “Listen,
when you hold a VFP banner you represent
VFP. It is not okay to yell at active
duty members while holding our banner.”
It is difficult for civilians to understand
that once you’ve worn the uniform you
always remember how it feels—in a sense,
veterans never take it off. As a former GI,
it is not possible for me to be against the
troops.
Ted apologized and told me a story of
being a hippie riding a bus in 1968. Four
service members threatened to kill him on
that ride, he said. He was petrified the entire
trip, and thankful when they got off at the
stop before his.
Later, I was surprised to see the same
Marine walking back past us, a brave young
man. Before I could think, my feet chased
after him. I said, “Hey, Private, can I walk
with you?” in the tone a sergeant would use,
and fell into step beside him. Pointing to the
logo on my ball cap, I said I was a Persian
Gulf veteran and a member of Veterans for
Peace. “I don’t want you to be angry at the
peace movement,” I began. “That guy has
other issues that have nothing to do with
you.” He eased his posture as he looked
at my hat. He said his name was “Chris”
and he was just home from boot camp and
doing recruiting work to save leave time (I
had done this, too).
A block up the street, at the Veterans
Memorial, we stopped to talk. Chris said,
“Those people don’t understand why I
joined the military. I didn’t join to kill; I
don’t want to kill. I joined to serve, get a
career, do something with my life. I needed
to get out of this town; my friends are either
working at McDonald’s or are in jail. There
is nothing here for me. I want something
different.”
“I thought the same things in 1991,” I
told him. “That’s why I joined.”
I pointed to the Gettysburg Address on
the Civil War memorial and we read it
silently together. I said, “It’s the best stay
the course speech ever written. It identifies
with the victims of the war and says ‘don’t
let them be sacrificed in vain.’ ” I looked at
Chris and said, “Do we owe our allegiance
to those who have already died, like those
named here, whom we can’t do anything
for? Or do we owe our allegiance to those
who are still alive, like you?
“People die in war,” I continued. “I know
what it is like to kill people, and it’s not
something you ever get over. You can learn
to live with it, but you can’t ever get over it.
When you see war, after 10 minutes you’ll
realize it’s horrible. There’s nothing manly
about war. Being a man is about being
emotionally connected. Hopefully you will
figure that out.”
The author (at left) holds a banner at a recent
peace vigil with Mary McClintock (right).
After a moment, Chris replied, “You
know all this because you served. You did
it. Why shouldn’t I?”
I responded, “I wish I could go back and
change what I did. I can’t, but I can talk to
folks like you.” After a pause I said, “Look,
as a Marine you will be going over in fourmonth
rotations. Maybe on your second,
third, fourth, or even your tenth time, if you
reconsider, we will be here to support you.
Veterans for Peace and this peace vigil will
be here to support you.”
Chris nodded and said, “Thanks for talking
with me, it’ll give me something to
think about when I’m over there.”
On parting I said, “Remember your
humanity.”
Our conversation lasted just 15 minutes
but the impact on me was beyond measure.
I wonder where Chris is, how he is doing.
Also, I wonder what might have happened
if a veteran had said something like that to
me. Being a member of the current peace
movement and a veteran, I feel that I am
a bridge between war and peace, between
soldiers past and present and the peace
movement. I believe as Americans we need
to work together to move beyond our differences,
for the good of our nation and the
world. I pray that we, as civilized people,
find our way. VM
This article is dedicated to Mary
McClintock. Eric Wasileski can be reached
at meekman@wildmail.com.

Violence and Trauma from the Battlefield to the Homefront
The Shameful Neglect of Our Veterans’
Emotional Needs
By Rob Okun
Among the many men
who walk through the
doors of men’s centers
around the country,
attending groups
like those the Men’s Resource Center for
Change runs in western Massachusetts, are
veterans returning from the wars in Iraq
and Afghanistan. Some of these men have
been ordered to attend one of the many
batterers’ intervention groups we run for
men who act abusively in their intimate
relationships. There is never any excuse to
abuse another person, we tell participants,
offering tools we’ve been teaching since
1989, tools both valuable and necessary to
interrupt and, hopefully, end the domestic
violence these men have been perpetrating
in their families. But the truth is, many of
these returning vets are haunted by much
more, by deep and complex problems
associated with being at war.
These men need a lot more attention
than a weekly two-hour, narrowly focused
domestic violence prevention group can
provide. Often husbands and fathers, these
returning vets, along with demonstrating
reprehensible behavior toward their wives
or girlfriends, are also military men who,
in too many cases, have been deeply traumatized
by their time at war. Many are suffering
from post-traumatic stress brought
on by their wartime experience. Even if
some were previously abusive before heading
overseas, how futile, and shameful,
that their plight is now being left, in many
cases, to a weekly batterers’ intervention
group. Where is the range of federal veterans’
services to be doing the heavy lifting?
These men need in- and out-patient services,
group therapy and individual counseling—along
with support services for their
families, employers, and coworkers—to
assist them on the arduous journey of healing.
Batterer intervention groups are only a
small part of the equation.
A longtime facilitator in several of our
“ Does the
Department of
Veterans Affairs
even know of
the incidence of
vets’ showing up
in batterers’ programs
like ours?
batterer intervention groups sat with me
not long ago and described the pain he is
seeing every week in these suffering vets.
They feel duty-bound, he shared, not to
talk about what they did (or saw) in Iraq
and Afghanistan, adhering to an oath of
silence. They may be sitting in numbed
silence in group, but before they got there
their pain, feelings of helplessness, and
stomach-burning anger had boiled over,
scalding the safest person they could direct
their rage at: their partner, often the mother
of their children. While their abuse must
be confronted—and it is—it also must be
understood as a symptom of the stress and
strain they brought back with them from
Iraq and Afghanistan.
We wonder: Does the Department of
Veterans Affairs even know of the incidence
of vets’ showing up in batterers’ programs
like ours? It would be a big step forward if
the VA began coordinating its services with
organizations like ours that work with men.
They would better understand the work we
do and how it could enhance their efforts.
We know these men need more help than
we can provide. (Women serving in the
wars are, of course, experiencing the same
stresses and emotional wounding as their
male counterparts, and need complete and
comprehensive services, too.)
Meanwhile, this heartbreaking war, now
in its fifth year, grinds on, and too many
returning vets feel ground down. Many
citizens are working to end the madness;
still many more need encouragement to
break through the national torpor and sound
the call of a farewell to arms. Just as it is
too much to expect a batterers’ program
to care for the complicated, wide-ranging
emotional needs of our vets, it may also
be naïve to expect the Democratic majority
in Congress to strengthen its backbone
enough to end the war on its own, despite
recent laudable efforts to establish timelines
for troop withdrawals.
But it isn’t hard to connect the dots from
the Bush administration’s bankrupt war
policy to its bankrupt veterans policy for
our psychically wounded military brothers.
One need only look at the scandal at Walter
Reed Army Medical Center to get an idea
of the depth of the failure.
From our perspective, any rallying cry to
end the war must also include a demand that
we help our returning vets begin to heal. Isn’t
it time we proclaim more than just “Bring
Our Troops Home”? Shouldn’t we also add,
“...and tend to their inner wounds”? VM
Rob Okun is executive director of the Men’s
Resource Center for Change and editor of
Voice Male.
© istockphoto.com/ Joanna
Spring 2007 •
15

• Voice Male
16

The Crime of Breathing While Black
By Christopher Rabb
There is no feeling like being
treated like a nigger. Just
having to verbalize it or
commit such a thought to
text is gut-wrenching. Janitor
or journalist, if you’re black in America,
that feeling is both unmistakable and more
familiar than it ever should be so long after
the visible successes of the civil rights
movement. But despite the greater prospects,
opportunities, and privileges earned
for and by many of us over the decades,
the default has remained the same: The
power dynamics that exist in this country
at any given time may render us niggers.
I have often joked that if you ever want
to see a modern-day Uncle Tom, look no
further than me in the vicinity of a white
police officer. The reality is, that is how I
have been conditioned to behave around
the police for pure self-preservation reasons,
having grown up black in Chicago
with parents who wanted their boys to
live to adulthood. But the other reality is
that whatever newfound liberties I have
experienced, and all too often taken for
granted, I don’t ever want to be made
to feel like a nigger—something far, far
worse than its utterance. It is a status
whose roots form the tree from which we
are lynched. Without the corollary lack
of humanity and powerlessness, lynching
could not occur, in all of its modern iterations,
“contagious shootings” included.
Two recent police shootings involving
black victims have a deeper meaning and
impact for those of us who are unwarranted,
but nevertheless prospective, suspects.
In New York, Sean Bell, a 23-year-old
unarmed man, died and two of his friends
were critically wounded—caught in a
hail of 50 bullets fired by undercover
officers—as the group emerged from a
nightclub, where they had been celebrating
Bell’s bachelor party. In Atlanta, 88-
year-old Kathryn Johnston was shot as
© istockphoto.com/Maciej Korzekwa
she sought to defend herself from police
who had stormed into her home in search
of drugs.
This past Thanksgiving I was stopped
by an Alabama state trooper for a minor,
unintentional moving violation. It was
late, my family and I were tired and we
were driving through rural Alabama in
a rental car. Almost instinctively I knew
what I had to become and how I had to act
when pulled over. But as soon as I knew
that the trooper had no desire to use his
discretion to let me off with a warning, I
committed an inviolable act that I will not
soon forgive myself for as a husband and
father of two small children: I challenged
the trooper, albeit politely. It was a stupid
and potentially dangerous thing for me to
do, as the stealthy punches to my thigh
from my wife reminded me.
Nothing is more important to me
This past
Thanksgiving
I was
stopped by
an Alabama
state trooper
for a minor,
unintentional
moving violation.
Almost
instinctively I
knew what I
had
than the safety of my family, and yet
there was this dissonant part of me—
that privileged, post-civil-rights-era,
Generation X sensibility—asserting
that “we’ve been niggers long enough,”
as I recounted the generations and
diversity of indignities my family has
had to withstand with no recourse.
Such indignities still abound in popular
culture. Consider comedian Michael
Richards, who recently unleashed a racist
tirade after being heckled by a few black
men in the audience. Worse, he made
graphic reference to lynching when he
explained what would have befallen them
had they “mouthed off” to a white person
50 years ago.
But whether or not we use the word
“nigger” or discourage its use by others—or
among black folk—the discrete
continued on page 26
Color Lines
Spring 2007 •
17

For more info or to submit new entries for GBQ Resources contact us
at (413) 253-9887 Ext. 33 or gbq@mrcforchange.org
• Voice Male
GBQ Resources
18
AIDS CARE/Hampshire County
Contact: (413) 586-8288. Buddy Program,
transportation, support groups and much
more free of charge to people living
with HIV.
AIDS Project of Southern Vermont
Contact: (802) 254-8263. Free, confidential
HIV/AIDS services, including support,
prevention counseling and volunteer
opportunities. T.H.E. Men’s Program
(Total HIV Education) Contact: Alex
Potter (802) 254-8263, Brattleboro, VT.
Weekly/monthly social gatherings,
workshops, and volunteer opportunities.
Email: men@sover.net
Bereavement Group for Those Who
Have Lost Same-Sex Partners
For individuals who have lost a same-sex
partner. 2nd Thursday of each month from
7-9 pm at the Forastiere Funeral Home,
220 N. Main St, E. Longmeadow, MA 01028;
year-round, walk-in group with no fee or
pre-registration; bereavement newsletter
also available. For more information, call
(413) 525-2800.
East Coast Female-to-Male Group
Contact: Bet Powers (413) 584-7616,
P.O. Box 60585 Florence, Northampton,
MA 01062, betpower@yahoo.com. Peer
support group open to all masculine-identified,
female-born persons – FTMs, transmen
of all sexual orientations/identities, crossdressers,
stone butches, transgendered,
transsexuals, non-op, pre-op, post-op,
genderqueer, bi-gendered, questioning
– and our significant others, family, and
allies.Meetings 2nd Sundays in
Northampton, 3-6 p.m.
Free Boyz Northampton
Social/support meetings for people
labeled female at birth who feel that’s not
an accurate description of who they are.
Meet 1st and 3rd Mondays, 7 p.m. at
Third Wave Feminist Booksellers,
90 King St., Northampton.
Gay, Bisexual & Questioning
Men’s Support Group
Drop-in, peer-facilitated. Monday,
7-9 p.m. Men’s Resource Center,
236 No. Pleasant St., Amherst, MA.
For information: Allan Arnaboldi,
(413) 253-9887, ext. 33.
Gay Men’s Domestic Violence
Project
Provides community education and direct
services to gay, bisexual, and transgendered
male victims and survivors of domestic
violence. Business: (617) 354-6056. 24-
hour crisis line provides emotional support,
safety planning, crisis counseling, referrals,
and emergency housing: (800) 832-1901.
www.gmdvp.org or email: support@gmdvp.
org
Generation Q (formerly Pride Zone)
A Program for GBQ youth. Open
Thursdays, 4-9, for drop-in and a support
group. Open Fridays, 4-9, for drop-in and
pizza. Contact info: 413-582-7861
Email: apangborn@communityaction.us
GLAD (Gay & Lesbian Advocates
& Defenders)
Gay & Lesbian Advocates & Defenders
is New England’s leading legal rights
organization dedicated to ending discrimination
based on sexual orientation, HIV
status and gender identity and expression.
Contact: 30 Winter St., Suite 800,
Boston, MA 02108. Tel: (617) 426-1350,
Fax: (617) 426-3594, gladlaw@glad.org,
www.glad.org. Legal Information Hotline:
(800) 455-GLAD (4523). GLAD’s Legal
Information Hotline is completely
confidential.
Trained volunteers work one-on-one
with callers to provide legal information,
support and referrals within New England.
Weekday afternoons, 1:30-4:30; English
and Spanish.
GLASS (Gay, Lesbian, and Straight
Society) GLBT Youth Group of
Franklin County
Meets every Wednesday evening in
Greenfield. Info: (413) 774-7028.
HIV Testing Hotline
AIDS Action Committee in Boston provides
referral to anonymous, free or lowcost
HIV testing/counseling sites: (413)
235-2331. For Hepatitis C information and
referral: (888) 443-4372. Both lines are
staffed M-F 9am-9pm and often have biand
tri-lingual staff available.
Men’s Health Project
Contact: Bob (413) 747-5144.
Education, prevention services, and counseling
for men’s health issues, especially
HIV/AIDS. Springfield, Northampton,
Greenfield. Tapestry Health Services.
www.tapestryhealth.org or email
rainbowmsm@aol.com
Monadnock Gay Men
A website that provides a social support
system for gay men of Keene and the entire
Monadnock Region of Southwestern NH.
www.monadnockgaymen.com or email
monadgay@aol.com
PFLAG (Parents, Families, and
Friends
of Lesbians and Gays) of Springfield/
Greater Springfield
Educational information and support for
the parents, families, and friends of Gays,
Lesbians, Bisexuals, and Transgendered
People. Contact info: MssEnn@aol.com,
Judy Nardacci, 413-243-2382 or
Elizabeth Simon, 413-732-3240
Safe Homes: the Bridge of
Central Massachusetts
Providing support and services to gay,
lesbian, bisexual, transgender youth via
a weekly Drop-In Center, community
outreach system and peer leadership
program. Based in Worcester, serving
all towns in region. 4 Mann Street
Worcester, Massachusetts 01602
Phone: 508.755.0333 Fax: 508.755.2191
Web: www.thebridgecm.org/programs.htm
Email: info@thebridgecm.org
SafeSpace
SafeSpace provides information, support,
referrals, and advocacy to lesbian, gay,
bisexual, transgender, queer, and questioning
(LGBTQQ) survivors of violence and
offers education and outreach programs
in the wider community. P.O. Box 158,
Burlington, VT 05402.
Phone: 1-802-863-0003;
toll-free 1-866-869-7341.
Fax: 1-802-863-0004.
www.safespacevt.org or email: safespace@
ru12.org
The Stonewall Center
University of Mass., Amherst. A lesbian,
bisexual, gay, and transgender educational
resource center. Contact: (413) 545-4824,
www.umass.edu/stonewall.
Straight Spouse Network
Monthly support group meets in Northampton,
MA, the first Tuesday from 6-8 p.m. For
spouses, past and present, of lesbian, gay,
bisexual or transgendered partners. Contact:
Jane Harris for support and location,
(413) 625-6636; janenrosie@hotmail.com.
Confidentiality is assured.
The Sunshine Club
Support and educational activities for transgendered
persons. Info: (413) 586-5004.
P.O. Box 564, Hadley, MA 01305.
www.thesunshineclub.org or email: rsteel@
att.net
VT M4M.net
Dedicated to promoting the overall good
health of Vermont’s gay and bisexual men, as
well as those who are transgender, by providing
information, resources, and a calendar
of events for gay, bisexual, questioning, and
transgendered men. www.vtm4m.net

My Gay San Francisco, Then and Now
Part 2: Returning to
“ the
Gay Capital of the
World”
IIt has been two years since I moved
back to San Francisco. Living here
now it is impossible, at least for me,
to escape noticing the radical remaking
of the world going on all around
me. Post-dotcom-bust San Francisco is
a boomtown again, reminiscent of post-
Wall Berlin. An entirely new 21st-century
urban high-density city is rising. Dire,
street-survival poverty jostles up against an
unprecedented exuberance of über-conspicuous
consumption here. As gay community
scholar Gayle Rubin remarked at a recent
GLBT Historical Society presentation, our
painted lady is being transformed into a
“command city for the 21st century.” Like
Hong Kong or Dubai, it is a “desirable”
place for the new global corporate elite to
build their personal homes. This, I sometimes
think, is what expanding, Gilded Age
Manhattan must have felt like.
We San Franciscans tend to forget this is
a uniquely diverse, world-class metropolis.
“Downtown,” the nest of vast, impenetrable
bureaucracies and corporations, has made
but shallow incursions into our sense of
living in a small town, a social space of
perhaps two degrees of separation.
And as cities have become desirable again,
deeper-pocket interests have been gentrifying
the gays out of their urban enclaves all across
the country. The Castro, our own homegrown
“ethnically” gay neighborhood and symbolic
(if less frequently visited) gay capital of the
United States, suddenly looks like the last
“traditional” gay neighborhood. As the Castro
has been turning a bit seedy, local queer
pride and, increasingly, the city planning and
tourism boards see it as the Gay Capital of
the World. Herein lies the ironic paradox
today: as gay folk have been disappeared by
AIDS or sucked into the queer diaspora, gays
and straights alike see this newly “ethnic”
community through gently softening lenses,
engulfed in cloud-shrouded images of quaint,
nostalgic, queer white picket fences.
My return nearly two years ago, portending
no such evolution, began very painfully.
In 2005 I returned to the emotional scene
as I had left it in San Francisco 12 years
before—by 1993 I was subsisting on SSI,
waiting to die of AIDS, with no future,
nor even the capacity to dream of a future.
Indeed, I had explicitly organized my life
around not surviving. But I did; I completed
a long doctoral program at UC Berkeley,
and was hired out of permanent disabled
status into a tenure-track college teaching
post in Boston.
I won tenure, settled down with a life partner,
got a mortgage, and swiftly atrophied
in this middle-class happily-ever-after. Then
came a moment of clarity: the life I was living
was not mine. It may have been someone
else’s, perhaps the dream of a much younger
me. But the longer I willed myself to stay
on this path, the more miserable, insane,
isolated, and despairing I became. The last
time I had seen my life, it was still in San
Francisco, among the AIDS ghosts and other
debris of living life messily.
Returning to San Francisco I found
everything changed, and myself lost in a
kind of time-and-space misalignment. My
entire social reality had perished before I
left in 1993, and now it was long forgotten.
During my first six months back, I encountered
the ghosts of my past at every turn.
Old familiar places, sounds, smells would
trigger them, reminding me of the future
that never happened. As I had encountered
while teaching about Holocaust survivorship
in my Death and Dying humanities
course, I too had come back from a world
history had forgotten.
Since then, I have sought out numerous
support groups and fellow survivors.
Recently I participated in a gay men’s community
meeting on the “poz/neg divide” in
gay San Francisco today. Profound healing
has occurred through reconnecting with
my fellow survivors. But, as the meeting
facilitator commented to me privately, it is
The last time I had seen my life, it
was still in San Francisco, among
the AIDS ghosts and other debris
of living life messily. Returning
to the city I found everything
changed, and myself lost in a
kind of time-and-space misalignment.
My entire social reality had
perished before I left in 1993, and
now it was long forgotten.
The author in San Francisco, 1986.
still far too painful for the queer community
at large to hear about or acknowledge our
generation. Did you know, he asked me
rhetorically, that when Holocaust survivors
immigrated to Israel, they were asked to
shut up about their experiences and get on
with building a future?
I first found re-engagement in the world
by returning to the rooms of recovery. In
this way I have been able to mourn and
heal and move on. Like many gay men who
unexpectedly survived the AIDS epidemic,
I am now exploring my “middlessence”—
how to be of service, to contribute meaningfully
to the world, to earn a living again.
Between the social services available to
AIDS survivors returning to the workforce
and the rich and diverse spiritual communities
I participate in, I am reconnecting with
my particular tribe.
Falteringly at first, struggling to overcome
a by then paralyzing social anxiety, I
found my way back. After recurrent respiratory
illnesses landed me in the hospital
in October 2005, I found my way to
support services for long-term poz folks.
The AIDS Health Project provided me
with psychological support, the Positive
Resource Center helped with career change
continued on page 23
Outlines • Gay & Bisexual Voices
Spring 2007 •
19

Real Men, Real Choices continued from page 10
such a judgment. Therefore, he likely is
using a woman whose choice to perform
was not meaningfully free.
But what if he had information about
the nature of the conditions, objective and
subjective, under which the women made
that choice? Even that is not so simple.
So long as the industry is profitable and
a large number of women are needed to
make such films, it is certain that some
number of those women will be choosing
under conditions that render the concept
of “free choice” virtually meaningless.
When a man buys or rents a DVD, he is
creating the demand for pornography that
will lead to some number of women being
used—that is, being hurt in some fashion,
psychologically and/or physically—no
matter what he knows or thinks he knows
about a specific woman.
So, a man’s choice to buy or rent pornography
is complicated by two realities.
First, he likely can’t know the conditions
under which women made their choices,
and hence can’t know how meaningful
the choices were. And second, even if he
could make such a determination about
specific women in a specific film he
watches, the demand for pornography that
his purchase helps create ensures that
some other women will be hurt.
sexual rush, men tend to turn off some
of the emotional reactions that typically
are connected to sexual experience with
a real person—a sense of the other’s
humanity, an awareness of being present
with another person, the recognition of
something outside our own bodies. For
me, while watching pornography over the
past decade as a researcher, I could feel it
happen—that emotional numbness, that
objectifying of self.
IN USING
PoRNoGRaPHY,
we men objectify not only
women but also ourselves.
To enter into the pornographic
world and experience
that intense sexual
rush, we turn off the
emotional reactions that
are connected to sexual
experience with a real
person—a sense of the other’s
humanity, an awareness
of being present
with another person, the
recognition of something
outside our own bodies.
avoid, simply because our emotional
lives cannot be completely controlled.
When they feel those things they wanted
to suppress, the johns lash out at the
most convenient target—the women
who they believe caused them to feel
what they didn’t want to feel.
If Baldwin is right—and, based on my
own experience, I believe she is—we
could say that men turn women into objects
in order to turn ourselves into objects, so
that we can split off emotion from body
during sex, in search of a sexual experience
in which we don’t have to feel. But
because sex is always more than a physical
act, men seeking this split-off state often
find themselves having strong emotional
reactions, which can get channeled into
violence and cruelty.
Again, the women in those situations
endure the violence connected to
men’s inability to be fully human. But
this system also doesn’t produce truly
healthy lives for men. Is an orgasm
really worth all that? I think there are
lots of bad orgasms in a world in which
men are socialized to suppress the complex
emotional realities involved in sex.
Women suffer the consequences in dramatic
ways. Men often suffer quietly,
until they lash out. When we men can’t
face our own pain, what are the chances
we can empathize with women’s pain?
No “bad” orgasms?
What is sex for?
• Voice Male
On (2): During a discussion of negative
sexual experiences, I once heard a man say,
“There’s no such thing as a bad orgasm.” I
assume that he meant getting off is getting
off—no matter what the circumstances or
methods, it’s always good. But there are
bad orgasms. There are orgasms that hurt
people, mostly women and children. And
there are orgasms that keep men cut off
from ourselves.
In using pornography, we men not only
objectify women but also objectify ourselves.
In my experience, which is also
the experience of many men I’ve talked
to over the years, we feel ourselves go
emotionally numb when viewing pornography
and masturbating, a state of being
“checked out.” To enter into the pornographic
world and experience that intense
Meg Baldwin, a feminist law professor
at Florida State University who left
academia to run a women’s center, once
gave me more insight into this process.
Baldwin, who has worked for years with
women who are prostituted, said one of
the common experiences of those women
is coping with the unprovoked rage and
violence that johns will direct at them.
Baldwin told me that after hearing countless
stories about this reaction by men, she
concluded the rage was rooted in this selfobjectification.
She sketched this process:
Men typically go to prostitutes to have
a sexual experience without having to
engage emotionally. Yet when they are
in the sexual situation, they sometimes
find themselves having those very same
emotional reactions they wanted to
I want to conclude by talking about
sexual morality.
Before you all run for the exits, let me
explain what I don’t mean by that term.
I don’t mean sexual morality in the typical
way the phrase is used in this culture,
the “morality” of so-called family values.
We must reject, of course, the patriarchal
impositions of a traditional set of sexual
norms that tend to be rooted in the control
of women, the dominance of men, and the
denial of the humanity of lesbians and gay
men. Over the years many of us have shied
away from any talk about the moral issues
involved in sexuality out of a fear of being
labeled reactionary.
But we must not be afraid to talk about
the need in any culture for there to be a
continued on page 24
20

Pop Culture & Pornography
By Gail Dines
As an anti-porn feminist, I have read about our death in
porn magazines, in Cosmopolitan, and of course in a
slew of post-modern academic books and articles. The
sheer numbers of people at the recent pornography conference
in Boston make clear that our burial was indeed premature as we
are fully alive, energized, enraged at the pornography culture,
and ready to do what it takes to reclaim that which is indisputably
ours. Our lives, our bodies, our culture and our feminist
movement.
The conference, Pornography and Pop Culture, brought
together women and
men who are activists,
anti-violence experts,
academics, anti-racist
educators, students and
citizens who feel in their
soul that we are living
through a major cultural
crisis. Everywhere we go
we are bombarded with
the droppings of the pornography
industry. Our
lives are overwhelmed by images that scream misogyny. Turn
on the TV, surf the Internet, flick through a magazine, pass a
billboard and you are visually assaulted by images that encode
male visual entitlement to technologically perfected female
bodies. And then as if this isn’t bad enough, we are told that
these images represent our sexual freedom, and to be angry or
enraged is evidence that we are anti-sex, prudish, and hopelessly
old-fashioned. To that I answer that our rage is clear
evidence of our refusal to be colonized or commodified by
corporate, patriarchal ideology that is reactionary, anti-feminist
and harmful to all our lives.
Some reading this were involved in the feminist anti-porn
movement since its inception in the late 1970s, and some were
in diapers during this period. Whatever our age though, we must
remember those incredible activists, authors and academics that
helped build the first anti-pornography movement. Women like
Andrea Dworkin, Catherine Mackinnon, Diana Russell, Robin
Morgan, Susan Brownmiller and many more who worked tirelessly
but got little name recognition. Women who made it possible
for us today to understand pornography as a form of violence
against women that degrades, humiliates and debases.
Looking back over the last couple of decades since this first
feminist anti-pornography movement, it is clear that we now live
in a very different world. We developed theories and activism in
We are indeed now living in a
new pornographic age and to be
effective organizers, activists and
scholars, we need to re-think our
theories and reframe our activism.
a time when most pornography was in magazine form and porn
stores and porn theaters were the major distributors of pornography.
In those days there was a clear economic and discursive distinction
between pornography and pop culture. Today the pornography
industry is seamlessly folded into the mainstream pop culture
industry. Reputable cable channels such as HBO, Showtime and
MTV often carry shows that look like ads for the porn industry.
The men who run the porn industry today have traded in their seedy
image and mafia connections for Armani suits and economic connections
to international banks and media moguls.
We are indeed now living
in a new pornographic
age and to be effective
organizers, activists and
scholars, we need to rethink
our theories and
reframe our activism.
We need to address
these new developments
and the ways in which the
feminist insights into pornography
as misogynist
ideology writ large on the female body are even more critical than
ever before. The analysis, research, and theory building that we
focus on today, we apply tomorrow to activism as our theory is
only as good as our activism and our activism only as meaningful
as our theory. PowerPoint presentations are just one of our tools
but a central one as they aim to interrupt the endless flow of propornography
messages that spew out from the pop culture.
Feeling overwhelmed by this pornographic culture is why
so many people are taking this issue on. In a pop culture
increasingly swamped with pornographic imagery and ideology,
to be anti-pornography is to be an outsider. It means being
ridiculed, mocked and derided both in and out of the academy.
And increasingly anti-pornography feminists are finding the
feminist movement to be an inhospitable place.
But feminism has changed this world more than once with
its unapologetic, unflinching politics of radical social change.
We are now about to begin one more chapter in our on-going
struggle for a world where all of us are bathed in dignity,
equality and joy. As feminists, we should strive for nothing
more, and accept nothing less.
Gail Dines is chair of American Studies at Wheelock College
in Boston and coeditor, with Robert Jensen and Ann Russo, of
Pornography: The Production and Consumption of Inequality.
Spring 2007 •
21

• Voice Male
Men’s Resources (Resources for Gay,
Bisexual
& Questioning Men, see page 18)
International Society for Men’s Health
and Gender
P.O. Box 144, A-1097, Vienna, Austria/
EUROPE
Phone: +43 1 4096010, Fax: +43 1 4096011
www.ismh.org or office@ismh.org
Montreal Men Against Sexism
c/o Martin Dufresne
913 de Bienville
Montreal, Quebec H2J 1V2 CANADA
514-563-4428, 526-6576, 282-3966
Sex & Love Addicts Anonymous (SLAA)
(800) 749-6879 Referrals available for 12-step
groups throughout New England.
Fathers
Resources
Fathers with Divorce and Custody
Concerns
Looking for a lawyer? Call your state bar
association lawyer referral agency. In Mass.
the number is (800) 392-6164. Here are some
websites that may be of use to you:
www.dadsrights.org (not www.dadsrights.com)
www.directlex.com/main/law/divorce/
www.divorce.com
www.divorcecentral.com
www.divorcehq.com
www.divorcenet.com
www.divorce-resource-center.com
www.divorcesupport.com
Collaborative Divorce
www.collaborativealternatives.com
www.collaborativedivorce.com
www.collaborativepractice.com
www.nocourtdivorce.com
Dads and Daughters
www.dadsanddaughters.org
The Fathers Resource Center
www.slowlane.com
National Fatherhood Initiative
www.cyfc.umn.edu/Fathernet
Internet Resources
Brother Peace
http://www.eurowrc.org/01.eurowrc/04.eurowrc_
en/36.en_ewrc.htm
EuroPRO-Fem: European Menprofemist
Network
www.europrofem.org or city.shelter@skynet.be or
traboules@traboules.org
Men Against Violence
http://www.unesco.org/cpp/uk/projects/wcpmenaga.htm
Men Can Stop Rape
www.mencanstoprape.org
Men for HAWC
http://www.danverspolice.com/domviol9.htm
The Men’s Bibliography
A comprehensive bibliography of writing on men,
masculinities, gender, and sexualities, listing over
14,000 works. It’s free at:
http://mensbiblio.xyonline.net/
Men’s Health Network
http://www.menshealthnetwork.org/
Men’s Initiative for Jane Doe, Inc.
www.mijd.org
Men’s Resource Center for Change
www.mrcforchange.org
Men’s Resources International
www.mensresourcesinternational.org
Men Stopping Violence
http://www.menstoppingviolence.org/index.php
Mentors in Violence Prevention
http://www.sportinsociety.org/mvp
National Men’s Resource Center
www.menstuff.org
National Organization for Men Against
Sexism
www.nomas.org; Boston chapter www.nomasboston.org
National Association of Men and Women
Committed to Ending Violence Against
Women
www.acalltomen.org
100 Black Men, Inc.
www.100blackmen.org
White Ribbon Campaign
www.whiteribbon.com; www.theribbonlady.com
XY Magazine
www.xyonline.net
Pro-feminist men’s web links (over 500 links)
www.xyonline.net/links.shtml
Pro-feminist men’s politics, frequently asked
questions www.xyonline.net/misc/pffaq.html
Pro-feminist e-mail list (1997– ) www.xyonline.
ROB OKUN
Counseling for
Men and Women,
Fathers
&
Justice of the Peace
Officiating at Weddings for Couples
in Massachusetts & Beyond
(413) 687-8171
RAOkun@comcast.net
There were no symptoms continued from page 12
Recovery
Other than learning that your body contains
cancer, hearing that you’ll be leaking
urine and unable to get an erection
for a while has got to be among the worst
pieces of news a man can get. After
prostate surgery, a man goes home with
a catheter in his bladder which drains
into a bag strapped onto his leg. There’s a
daytime bag and a nighttime bag, and we
found the changeover and bag-emptying
went better with two pairs of hands and as
much laughter as possible. Even so, the
procedures were definitely anti-erotic.
After a week, we were back at the medical
center for removal of the catheter.
On the way home we found ourselves
in the pharmacy’s diaper aisle, choosing
a product called “adjustable disposable
underwear” which promised “worry-free
odor control, super absorbency and discretion.”
To Allen’s surprise (he was
dreading accidents) this diaper-like garment
has worked very well. Do we need
to tell you, though, that he has changed
his routine after squash or basketball so
as to avoid showering in the locker room?
It’s one thing to show yourself to your
partner decked out in a white “diaper,”
and quite another to appear that way in
front of sports buddies.
The length of time a man has to wear
disposable underwear or, alternatively,
use a pad tucked into jockey shorts, is
usually at least three months after surgery.
Wanting to get back to padlessness
and cotton as soon as possible, Allen had
two matters within his control: first, to
select the best possible surgeon to minimize
nerve damage; second, to do a kind
of butt-squeeze exercise called Kegels to
strengthen his urinary retention muscles.
The postoperative wait for erections to
return can last even longer than the wait
for total bladder control. “It’s hard to
predict,” explained the doctor. “Patients
who come into surgery having had erections
and intercourse with some regularity
regain function sooner and more fully
than those who weren’t having frequent
sex. We think a lot of men feel erectile
performance pressure, so they end up
lying to us about what was really going
22

on sexually before we operated. That
makes it hard for us to predict what will
happen as they heal.”
We can see why predictions about
post-prostatectomy love life are difficult.
A man with a diaper and without
an erection is not the stuff of romantic
or erotic fantasy. However, as humans
age our sense of touch becomes more
acute. That means hugging, kissing,
and massage—none of which has to be
associated with diapers or erections—can
be more rather than less pleasurable as a
person passes the half-century mark. For
older men in general, erectile function
is a use-it-or-lose-it proposition, which
is motivation to engage in sex-touch to
help regain function. Viagra and Cialis,
both medications to stimulate erections,
are often prescribed following prostate
surgery.
The Future
We can’t know the end of Allen’s recovery
from cancer since we’re still living
it. At his one-month checkup, blood
was drawn for a PSA (even without his
prostate, some of the antigen could be
roaming, causing trouble) and the results
came back as “undetectable.” No cancer!
Two months after surgery, his belly
shows only faint lines where the laparoscopic
instruments were inserted. His
spirits are recovering and our partnership
continues.
We’ve shared our story here because
nearly every man of our generation or
older has told us, in response to our
news, that he’s “watching” his own
prostate or knows he should be. One in
six males in America getting hit with a
diagnosis of prostate cancer, along with
their partners, families, and friends, adds
up to a lot of people concerned with
the disease—a lot of people we want to
encourage to take good care of themselves
and one another. VM
Websites we recommend
(in alphabetical order):
Memorial Sloan-Kettering
Cancer Center
www.mskcc.org/html/403.cfm
National Cancer Institute
www.cancer.gov/cancertopics/types/
prostate
(for general information)
www.cancer.gov/cancertopics/
factsheet/therapy/CAM
(for information about alternative
treatments)
Prostate Cancer Foundation
www.prostatecancerfoundation.org
Books
Prostate Cancer Resources
100 Questions and Answers About Prostate
Cancer by Pamela Ellsworth, M.D.,
John Heaney, M.D., and Oliver Gill—
published by Jones and Bartlett, 2002,
Dallas
Prostate and Cancer: A Family Guide to
Diagnosis, Treatment, and Survival
by Sheldon Marks, M.D.—published by
Perseus Books, 2003, Jackson TN
OutLines continued from page 19
and employment retraining support. The
State of California has deemed my choice of
work as a grant writer supportable. I relish
digging into my new field of employment,
as a development specialist in the culture and
arts nonprofit world.
I’ve taken two semesters of intensive
Spanish, have screened and penned reviews
of a couple hundred films, and recently
joined a writers’ group (all HIV-ers). I work
daily with recovering alcoholics. The Bear
History Project is rising from old cyber
ashes. The Billy Club, a rural collective of
socially engaged and spiritually awakened
gay, bi, and queer men, has welcomed me
with open arms. As I trudge my spiritual
path, as ordinary and unconventional as it
comes, I find the world makes sense when
I live in San Francisco. I know that I am of
this place.
Les Wright is a newly minted grant writer, a
published author, editor, and art curator, gay
community activist and historian, and peace
advocate. He continues to work in men’s
communities as a practitioner of spiritual
healing arts and is a former support group
facilitator at the Men’s Resource Center for
Change. Part 1 of this column appeared in
the Winter 2007 issue.
Allen Davis, Ed.D., is executive director
of the Greenfield, Mass. Community
College Foundation. He serves on the
Men’s Resource Center for Change
Advisory Committee, consults to nonprofit
organizations, and is a life coach;
he’s also a passionate basketball, squash,
Spring 2007 •
23

Real Men, Real Choices continued from page 20
collective conversation about the simple
question “What is sex for?” For liberals
and libertarians, the question isn’t central;
sex is for whatever any individual or
group of individuals wants. For religious
conservatives, the answer is dictated by
patriarchal tradition, and sex is something
dangerous that must be tightly controlled.
That’s why pornography is so attractive to
both liberals and conservatives. Liberals
celebrate it and march into the adult bookstore
proudly; conservatives decry it as
they place their order online.
It’s pretty clear what sex is for in the
world of pornography. In an Adult Video
News story on gonzo directors, the writer
described the typical viewer as “the solo
stroking consumer who merely wants to
cut to the chase, get off on the good stuff,
then, if they really wanna catch some acting,
plot and dialog, pop in the latest Netflix
disc.” In other words, sex is for simple
physical sensation, delivered as efficiently
and quickly as possible, with no concern
for who is used in the process or how they
are used. In that world, pornography will
always be attractive because pornography
works: it delivers that orgasm. Once a man
has accepted that understanding of sex, the
quest is for the best pornography to deliver
that orgasm with the most intensity, and
other considerations—about the costs to
the people who make pornography, the
politics of the images, or the harms that
may result from the industry—drop out of
sight.
The mystery of humanity
For me, the question “what is sex for?” is
one of those questions that is meant never to
be answered. The point isn’t to try to take the
mystery of sex and contain it. The point is to
understand the importance of the question
and create the conditions for an open, honest,
searching—and likely unending—discussion
of it. The goal is not to run from the
complexity, but to understand how the joy in
that mystery can be deepened by collective
conversation aimed not at control and domination,
but at liberation and equality.
The feminist anti-pornography movement
is, of course, fundamentally political—it’s
about changing an inherently unjust distribution
of power. But at the core of any
politics is the most basic moral question:
What are people for? What kind of animals
are we? What does it mean to be human
in the modern world? Part of that question
is wrapped up in the meaning we make of
male and female, part of which is coming to
judgment about what sex is for.
All these are fundamentally moral questions,
and the long-term success of our
politics depends on having answers that
can speak to these questions, with which
we all are struggling, or should be. VM
Robert Jensen is a journalism professor
at the University of Texas at Austin and
serves on the advisory board of the Men’s
Resource Center for Change and this
magazine. His latest book is Getting Off:
Pornography and the End of Masculinity
(South End Press, 2007). He can be
You’re never far from Voice Male!
Look for the magazine at these distribution points
throughout the U.S.:
• Voice Male
California: Black Oak Books, Berkeley; Center for
Women and Men, USC, Los Angeles; Modern TImes, San
Franscisco • Colorado: Boulder Cooperative Market,
Boulder; Page Two, Boulder • Florida: Goering’s
Bookstore, Gainesville • Illinois: Box Car Books,
Bloomington; New World Resource Center, Chicago
• Maine: Boys to Men, Portland • (Eastern) Massachusetts:
Family Violence Prevention Fund, Boston;
Jane Doe, Boston; Men’s Resource Center of Central
Mass., Worcester; NOMAS-Boston, Westford
• New Hampshire: Monadnock Men’s Resource Center,
Keene • New Mexico: Community Against Violence,
Taos; El Refugio, Silver City • North Carolina: Downtown
Books and News, Asheville • Oregon: Breaking
Free, Eugene • Texas: Men’s Resource Center of South
Texas, Harlingen • Vermont: Everyone’s Books,
Brattleboro; Healthy Living Market, South Burlington;
Lake Champlain Men’s Resource Center, Burlington •
Washington:
Elliot Bay Café, Seattle; Twice Sold Tales, Seattle
Write to voicemale@mrcforchange.org for more
information on distributing VOICE MALE in your area.
24

Men Speak Out continued from page 7
whose willingness to denigrate women
seemingly knew no bounds. Tal Peretz, a
recent college graduate from Pittsburgh,
Pennsylvania, describes the radical transformation
of his friend Cliff from racist
skinhead to feminist ally. For other men,
complacency was never an option. Chongsuk
Han calls out the gay community
for its racism and white privilege while
simultaneously attempting to stake a claim
as oppressed sexual minorities. Nathan
Einschlag takes on his college coach and
basketball team for their upside-down
expectations that place hooking up above
personal ethics. Greg Bortnichak wonders
out loud how he can remain true to his nonsexist
ideals without falling into the trap of
paternalistic protection when a much older
man wants to hit on his girlfriend. Jacob
Anderson-Minshall questions the expectations
of straight men who assume he’s one
of them, and lesbian women who assume
he’s not. For all these men, asking soul-
searching questions is a moral imperative,
even if doing so leads to danger, rage, distress,
or initial alienation from their peers.
We learn from Tomek Kitlinski and
Pawel Leszkowicz that being out and gay
in Poland is a risk far greater than we in the
United States might imagine, with members
of the far-right youth militia hurling stones
and threatening their lives. Essays by Byron
Hurt, Haji Shearer, Ewuare Osayande, and
Amit Taneja teach us that there are multiple
ways of understanding the intersections
of race, nation, identity, and change. On
fatherhood, we begin to imagine a world
in which men are actively engaged parents,
and to consider why some versions of
fathers’ rights groups do not work in the
best interest of women, children, or men.
Michael Kimmel and Voice Male editor
Rob Okun remind us where we came from
so we can better see where we’re going.
These essays, and the others in this collection,
bring personal insight and critical
awareness to our ideas about masculinity
and feminism. Each is written through the
unique lens of individual experience. There
may be points of discomfort, and there are
certainly questions raised but left unanswered,
or only partially answered. There
will be women who distrust men writing
about feminism, and doubtless there will
be men who are suspicious about a woman
editing the voices of men. But as I see it,
this discomfort can be productive. It is part
of a process of discovering the personal and
political meanings of progressive manhood
and feminist men. This process of discovery
is certainly not a destination but it is a
solid beginning. VM
Shira Tarrant, Ph.D. is a political scientist
who teaches in the Women’s Studies
Department at California State University,
Long Beach. Her first book, When Sex
Became Gender, was published by
Routledge in 2006. The essay above is
excerpted from her forthcoming anthology
Men Speak Out: Views on Gender, Sex and
Power (Routledge, November 2007).
Domestic Violence continued from page 13
zations across the state that work 24/7 to
assist and support the victims of battering
and sexual violence. The first rape crisis
organization in Vermont started in 1973;
the first shelter group in 1974. When
no one else would, these women went
to work for the victims of domestic and
sexual assault.
2. In an effort to address violence in our
schools, the Vermont legislature passed
“An Act Relating to Bullying Prevention
Policies.” There is a direct continuum
between bullying and dating violence
and domestic violence. If every school
administrator, teacher, and coach in the
state fully embraced the provisions of this
law, we could help our children grow up
to believe that violence is unhealthy and
unacceptable.
3. Vermont has the most intensive program
for domestic violence offenders
in the country. The Intensive Domestic
Abuse Program (IDAP), a program of the
Department of Corrections administered
by Spectrum Youth and Family Services,
requires male offenders to attend 169
group sessions, usually over the course
of more than a year. There is a very low
tolerance for breaking the rules of the
program, and offenders are held directly
accountable for their behavior and attitudes.
4. On January 18, 2007, the Vermont State
Senate declared that it is making domestic
violence prevention a major focus of
the Senate Judiciary and Appropriations
committees. A central theme of this effort
is addressing the problem of children
living with domestic violence. (I urge
Vermonters to let their state legislators
know how much they support this effort.)
We still have a long way to go. In fact,
some experts worry that the increase of
violent images in the media is contributing
to a growing culture of male violence and
misogyny. How can watching mock sexual
assaults against women on “professional”
wrestling and assaults on black female
prostitutes in video games be healthy for
men and boys? When coaches refer to
their male players as a “bunch of ladies,”
how can that contribute to healthy images
of girls and women? When pornographic
images are everywhere in our society
depicting the denigration of women, how
can we hope to reverse male beliefs about
the social, economic, and religious suppression
of women? And when violence
is represented in the media as the best and
easiest way to resolve conflicts and solve
problems, how can we expect young men
to think and behave differently?
Margaret Mead warned: “No society
that feeds its children on tales of successful
violence can expect them not
to believe that violence in the end is
rewarded.” The challenge for Vermont
men, as for men around the country, is to
figure out how we can stop tolerating and,
thereby, encouraging the culture of male
violence in our society. VM
Stephen McArthur is a hotline worker for
Battered Women’s Services and Shelter,
and co-facilitates programs in Washington
County, Vermont, schools on bullying,
dating violence, domestic violence, and
healthy relationships.
Spring 2007 •
25

Thank You!
The Men’s Resource Center
for Change, publisher
of Voice Male, receives community support
from
near and far. Voice Male allows us a public forum
in which to thank the hundreds of people
who have shared our inspiration
and commitment, and
contributed their time, services, and money
toward a vision of personal and social
transformation. We are filled with deep gratitude
at the generosity of these individuals and
businesses:
Donated Space Network Chiropractic,
Greenfield
In-Kind Donations Henion Bakery,
Amherst
MRC/Voice Male Volunteers Drew
Katsik,
Joel Kaye, Steven Lam, Joe Leslie, Dean
Toulan, Maggie Wong
As always, we extend our gratitude to the
MRC Board of Directors for the ongoing
guidance and support they give to this
Looking to
Connect?
Try the MRC’s Drop-in
Men’s Support
IN NORTHAMPTON
Open to all men.
Tuesdays, 6:45-8:45 PM
Council on Aging, 240 Main St.
IN AMHERST
Open to all men.
Sundays, 7-9 PM at the MRC
IN GREENFIELD
Open to all men.
Wednesdays, 7-9 PM
Network Chiropractic,
DHJones Building, Mohawk Trail
FOR GAY, BISEXUAL & QUESTIONING
MEN
Open to all gay, bisexual,
gay-identified F-to-M trans men
& men questioning orientation
Mondays, 7-9 PM, at the MRC
Crime of Breathing While Black continued from
page 17
events that trigger that visceral feeling
in us will remain as long as black lives
continue to have less value than white
lives. Because they do. To invoke a
newer, insidious rhetorical tool of conservatives,
it is white “innocent life” that
is sacrosanct, not society’s moral outrage
against violence and brutality, physical or
psychological.
More than a decade after the O.J.
Simpson verdict, Simpson is still the
poster boy for brutality and injustice,
whereas former detective Mark Fuhrman
is all but legitimized as a best-selling
author despite his long history of admitted
brutality as a member of the LAPD.
For many African-Americans, whether
or not they believe a guilty man was
nearly framed, to cast Simpson as a symbol
of brutality gone unpunished is not
only bizarrely misplaced and insulting;
it is also symptomatic of a society intentionally
blind to the daily realities of what
it feels like to be seen more as a problem
than as a person.
Every day we are made conscious of
our own race and status in society by a
host of peers and judges in a range of
venues. And even if we never have to
endure an altercation with the police, we
still are acutely aware of how easily we
can be made to feel like niggers: our gait,
tone, behavior, our proximity to valuables
(or more valuable people) is scrutinized.
And our choice to accept this reality and
conform to earn that eye contact, that
begrudging customer service, or that success
in hailing a cab is related to this issue
of brutality, because it is an assault on our
citizenship and our very humanity.
“Contagious shooting” may very well
be a legitimate assessment of the events
that culminated in Sean Bell’s death
hours before his wedding. But it is symptomatic
of something larger that undoubtedly
correlates to when such contagions
most often occur and to what degree. If
there is a presumption of guilt or reason
to fear or distrust someone irrespective of
context, that itself is a crime; it represents
the psychological brutality and ubiquity
of institutional racism.
But perhaps “institutional racism”
sounds a bit too harsh for the thin-skinned
mainstream media, the proxy of our
willfully ignorant body politic. Society
prefers what is in essence “situational
racism” that dissolves with a well-placed,
well-timed apology to the right brokers
of contrition. “Some of my best friends
are black.” “I was drunk.” “He had a wallet.”
All socially acceptable mitigators of
brutal speech are deftly untethered from
their more vile origins, too shameful and
heavy for those most complicit to bear.
But the weight of its impact never lessens
on those of us who do not have a choice
as long as we’re breathing while black.
VM
Chris Rabb is a new media consultant,
writer, social commentator and netroots
activist. A regular public speaker, Chris
discusses issues of race, politics, culture,
family, technology, media and entrepreneurship.
Originally from Chicago, Chris
lives in northwest Philadelphia with his
wife and two boys.
© 2006, 2007 Christopher M. Rabb. All rights reserved.
• Voice Male
FOR MEN WHO HAVE EXPERIENCED
CHILDHOOD
NEGLECT AND/OR ABUSE
Open to all men who have
experienced any form of childhood neglect
and/or abuse
(physical, emotional or sexual)
Fridays, 7-9PM, at the MRC
FACILITATED BY TRAINED VOLUNTEERS
FREE & CONFIDENTIAL
MEN’S RESOURCE CENTER
236 N. PLEASANT ST., AMHERST
(413) 253-9887, ext. 10
26

Men’s Resource Center for Change Programs &
Administrative Staff
Executive Director – Rob Okun
Financial Manager – Paula Chadis
Executive Assistant – David Gillham
Office Manager – Allan Arnaboldi
Japan Foundation Fellow – Hiroko
Matsubara
Moving Forward
Director – Sara Elinoff-Acker
Intake Coordinator/Court Liaison
– Steve Trudel
Administrative Director – Jan Eidelson
Partner Services Outreach
Counselor –
Barbara Russell
Anger Management Coordinator
– Joy Kaubin
Hampden County Coordinator – Scott
Girard
Group Leaders – Sara Elinoff-Acker, Karen
Fogliatti, Scott Girard, Steve Jefferson, Joy Kaubin,
Dot LaFratta, Susan Omilian, Bill Patten, Tom Sullivan,
Steve Trudel
Support Services Coordinator –Tom
Schuyt
Support Group Facilitators – Allan
Arnaboldi, Michael Burke, Jim Devlin, Michael Dover,
Carl Erikson, Tim Gordon, Jerry Levinsky, Gábor
Lukács, Bob Mazer,
Joe Rufer, Tom Schuyt, Frank Shea, Sheldon
Snodgrass, Roger Stawasz, Bob Sternberg, Gary Stone,
Claude Tellier
Youth Programs Supervisor – Allan
Arnaboldi
Group Leaders – Aaron Buford, Malcolm Chu
Board of Directors
Chair – Peter Jessop
Clerk/Treasurer – Tom Schuyt
Members – Charles Bodhi,Tom Gardner, Yoko
Kato, Gail Kielson, Jonathan Klate
Executive Director Emeritus – Steven
Botkin
Main Office: 236 North Pleasant St. • Amherst,
MA 01002 • 413.253.9887 • Fax: 413.253.4801
The mission of the Men’s
Resource Center for Change is to
support men,
challenge men’s violence, and
develop
men’s leadership in ending
oppression
in our lives, our families, and
Support Group Programs
■ Open Men’s Group
Sundays 7-9 p.m. at the MRC Amherst office
Tuesdays 6:45-8:45 p.m. at the Council on
Aging, 240 Main St., Northampton.
Wednesdays 7-9 p.m. in Greenfield at Network
Chiropractic, 21 Mohawk Trail (lower Main St.).
A facilitated drop-in group for men to talk
about their lives and to support each other.
■ Men Who Have Experienced Childhood
Abuse /Neglect
Specifically for men who have experienced
any kind of childhood abuse or neglect.
Fridays 7 - 8:30 p.m. at the MRC.
■ Gay, Bisexual & Questioning
Mondays 7 - 9 p.m. at the MRC. A facilitated
drop-in group for gay, bisexual and questioning
men to talk about their lives and
support each other (not a discussion group).
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■ A variety of resources are available —
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Contact: (413) 253-9887 ext.10
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Various times for 15-week groups for men,
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information, call (413) 253-9887 ext. 23
■ Domestic Violence Intervention
A state-certified batterer intervention prog
ram serves both voluntary and courtmandated
men who have been physically
violent or verbally/emotionally abusive.
Fee subsidies available.
■ Basic Groups
Groups for self-referred and court-mandated
men (40 weeks) are held in Amherst, Athol,
Belchertown, Springfield, North Adams, and
Greenfield.
■ Follow-up
Groups for men who have completed the
basic program and want to continue working
on these issues. Call (413) 253-9588 ext 12.
■ Partner Services
Free phone support, resources, referrals and
weekly support groups are available for
partners of men in the MOVE program.
■ Prison Groups
A weekly MOVE group is held at the Hampshire
County Jail and House of Corrections.
■ Community Education and Training
Workshops and training on domestic violence
and clinical issues in batterer intervention
are available.
■ Speakers’ Bureau
Formerly abusive men who want to share
their experiences with others to help prevent
family violence are available to speak at
schools and human service programs.
■ Youth Violence Prevention
Services for teenage males who have been
abusive with their families, peers, or dating
partners. Contact: (413) 253-9588 ext.18
Workshops & training
■ Workshops available to colleges, schools,
human service organizations, and businesses
on topics such as “Sexual Harassment
Prevention and Response,” “Strategies and
Skills for Educating Men,” “Building Men’s
Community,” and “Challenging Homophobia,”
among other topics. Specific trainings and
consultations also available.
Publications
■ Voice Male
Published quarterly, the MRC magazine
includes articles, essays, reviews and resources,
and services related to men and masculinity.
■ Children, Lesbians and Men: Men’s
Experiences as Known and Anonymous
Sperm Donors
A 60-page manual which answers the questions
men have, with first-person accounts by
men and women “who have been there.”
Contact: (413) 253-9887 ext.16
Resource & Referral Services
■ Information about events, counselors,
groups, local, regional and national activities,
and support programs for men.
Contact: (413) 253-9887 ext.10
Speakers and Presentations
■ Invite new visions of manhood into your
university, faith community, community organization.
Many topics including: “Manhood in
a Time of War, Fathering, Male Socialization,
Men’s Anger, Creating a Men’s Center, The
Journey to Healthy Manhood, and more.
Spring 2007 •
27

A Benefit Film Screening for
Voice Male
the magazine of the
Men’s Resource Center for Change
Featuring Remarks and Q & A with
Filmmaker Byron Hurt
Beyond Beats & Rhymes:
Hip-Hop & Manhood
Sunday, June 3, 7 pm
Academy of Music, Northampton,
Mass.
General Admission Tickets: $15
Producers’ Circle Tickets: $25-50
[includes a reception with the filmmaker]
Tickets Available at:
Food for Thought Books, Amherst
World Eye Books, Greenfield
Odyssey Book Shop, South Hadley
Men’s Resource Center, Amherst
Montague Book Mill, Montague
Broadside Books, Northampton
For more information, contact:
Men’s Resource Center for Change
at mainoffice.mrcforchange.org
(413) 253-9887 Ext. 16