When Men Do Nothing - Voice Male Magazine

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“Among the things I like about Voice Male is the racial, ethnic and sexual diversity in both its articles and features and its fearless engagement with controversial issues related to masculinities and feminism. It is our movement’s ‘magazine of record,’ playing a role analogous to the one Ms. magazine plays in the women’s movement.” —Jackson Katz, writer-activist (MVP Strategies) “I celebrate you for standing with women in the struggle to end violence against women and girls. Your brave magazine is bringing forward the new vision and voices of manhood which will inevitably shift this paradigm and create a world where we are all safe and free.” —Eve Ensler, activist-playwright (The Vagina Monologues) What’s happening with men and masculinity? That’s the question Voice Male tries to answer each issue as it chronicles manhood in transition. The changes men have undergone the past 30 years, our efforts following women in challenging men’s violence, and our ongoing exploration of our interior lives, are central to our vision. The magazine’s roots are deep in the male-positive, profeminist, anti-violence men’s movement. We draw inspiration from the world-changing acts of social transformation women have long advanced and the growing legion of men agitating and advocating for a new expression of masculinity. At this key moment in the national conversation about men, Voice Male has much to contribute. Join us! 4 issues-$28 / 8 issues-$45 Institutional Rate: 4 issues - $40 / 8 issues - $55 To subscribe—or to make a tax-deductible gift—please use the enclosed envelope or go to: voicemalemagazine.org Voice Male PREVIEW To receive the full issue and to subscribe please go to: http://voicemalemagazine.org/donate
By Lundy Bancroft and Rus Funk What Do Women Have to Do With Men’s Healing? A Lot Shawnash Institute, Inc. “We believe men need to think carefully about the assumption that women necessarily benefit when men work on their own healing,” write Lundy Bancroft and Rus Funk, longtime antiviolence activists and trainers. After reading “Women Supporting Men Supporting Men” by Frederick Marx in the Spring issue, Bancroft, author of Why Does He Do That? Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men and When Dad Hurts Mom: Helping Your Children Heal the Wounds of Witnessing Abuse, and Funk, author of Reaching Men: Strategies for Preventing Sexist Attitudes, Behaviors, and Violence, say “the thorny question” Marx’s article raised about the impact of some kinds of men’s work prompted them to respond. What man wouldn’t agree that it is valuable for men to focus on our own healing? Yet it doesn’t necessarily follow, as Frederick Marx suggests, that men can only heal in men-only spaces. To us, such a notion is erroneous at best, and dangerous at worst—for both men and women. Both women and men have strong and powerful relationships with one another. Most men need, deserve, and experience relationships with both women and men that can help men heal from our wounds. In his article, Mr. Marx suggests men know better than women what is best for women. While we appreciate his expression of support for women’s equality as expressed in an earlier article, “Defining Masculinity in Our Own Terms” (Voice Male, Fall 2011), we are concerned about the rigid boundary he seems to be erecting to keep women out of men’s healing. Women have long been subjected to core sexist beliefs held by men: that women are filled with irrational fears; that they do not know what is best for them; and that they don’t recognize when men are actually acting in women’s best interests. We examine below some of the ways this perspective seems to have crept into Mr. Marx’s writing. Are There Good Reasons for Women to Raise Questions About Some Men’s Healing Work? Many women—and some men—are suspicious of men’s claims that when we spend time freeing ourselves from the straitjacket of traditional masculinity, women always benefit. In our decades of antiviolence men’s work, we have heard from many women as they recounted experiences of their male partners’ involvement in the “male liberation” movement. Some recurring themes include: • His participation in men’s weekends—or other personal growth activities—often leaves her burdened with family responsibilities, including caring for small children. If she questions him about his plans, some men may irritably respond, “You want me to be more the kind of man you are looking for, so why are you complaining when I try to work on myself?!” In that act, her feelings and needs are discounted. • His process of becoming more aware of and “in touch with his feelings”—along with developing a better understanding of a “deeper masculinity” and an increased sense of bonding and Summer 2012PREVIEW To receive the full issue and to subscribe please go to: http://voicemalemagazine.org/donate
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When Men Do Nothing - Voice Male Magazine

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