The Tutoring Book - California State University, Sacramento

Through the Looking Glass: the Tutoring Experience through the Tutee’s Eyes
14
Andrea M. Hubbard
Setareh Tabrizi
Spring 2011
On the first day of class, we were asked to share what we feared the most about tutoring writing.
My greatest concern was knowledge. Did I have a solid knowledge foundation that would enable me to
support my fellow students? This fear was allayed my first day of tutoring for it was clear I knew enough
about writing and problem solving to assist my tutees. As I met with each student and I fought against
my fear of ineptitude, it became clear they too were dealing with fear. In some cases, this fear was
debilitating for students. It prevented many students from fully participating in reviewing their work. As
I tuned in to the nervousness of the students, I felt I understood where it was coming from, but I wanted to
experience what it felt like to sign up for a tutor and have your paper reviewed by a peer. What fears and
prejudices did I bring to the writing table? What prevents a student from settling in and becoming
comfortable with a tutor and what prevents them from coming back? The purpose of my experiment was
threefold: 1) to locate ways in which the writing center tutors could gain improved retention of student
writers, 2) to implement practices which would make my own writers feel more comfortable in the
Writing Center, and 3) to become a better writer myself.
I walked nervously to the front desk. I felt silly for wanting to know what my writers were
experiencing. I felt silly, like I was crossing an invisible line. I chose a tutor and time slot and hoped for
the best. I imagined this experience was similar for students. As I waited for my appointment, I began to
grow increasingly nervous. I looked at the papers I had to work on and mentally listed their weaknesses.
Was I really going to let a stranger, in a close, intimate environment read my papers? What if he thought
I was the worst writer on the planet? What if he thought I was an idiot in general? My insecurities
gradually built until the time of my appointment. My tutor laughed when he saw me. As I explained
what I was attempting to do, he smiled and agreed to be my tutor. I discovered from this first interaction
how important a smile is in alleviating the nervousness of the student. However, as we began to work, I
found that I was uncomfortable as he reviewed my work silently. I experienced difficulty expressing my
thoughts when he questioned the goals of my essays. I felt flushed and embarrassed and absolutely
wanted to turn all control over to him and defer to his judgment regarding my papers. From this initial
meeting, I understood fully what my tutees were experiencing and why they had trouble explaining their
goals and why they felt the need to push their papers towards me. It seemed like a natural thing to do in
the setting. Already, we were arriving to the session with preconceived notions of hierarchy. I assumed
he had knowledge I did not have.
The next session, I got over my stutter, but not the feeling of being a bad writer. It seems when I
entered the writing center as a tutee, I feared the tutor would judge that I needed help because I was a
terrible writer. Since writing is a creative endeavor, the student may feel personally threatened or over
critical of their work. Consider a time when a tutee of yours said something deprecating about their work.
I can recall several instances where I reassured writers that they had the necessary ability to write
proficiently. It was not until my third session that I felt comfortable with my tutor. He exhibited no hint
of admonition for poor writing. I began to trust his judgment and recognize that his suggestions were
sound. I began to want to own my work and looked eagerly over it with him. From this experience, as it
applies only to regularly scheduled students, I discovered that it takes time for the student to warm up to
their tutor. As it applies to tutee retention, this experience shows that the discomfort surrounding the first
and second meetings may negatively affect the student’s decision to return to the Writing Center.
What I enjoyed most about being a tutee was brainstorming ideas for papers. It is my favorite
part of tutoring. The collaborative atmosphere allowed me to see my tutor as an equal. He made no
attempt to hijack my ideas and force his own upon me. I realized, through collaboration, that I had been
silly to be afraid in the first place. There was no harm here in the writing center. They were just students
like me who wanted to become better writers. This was a place to practice writing not bash it. My tutor