May 2011 - Subud Voice

that time it was still very remote and isolated and the nearest
house was 500 meters away.
My husband’s job was to find grass for 7 cows and 6 deer which
were owned by a farmer nearby. Each day he would go out to the
forest and fields to get enough feed for the animals. He was paid
US$ 4 per month and it was paid every three months. Maybe you
can imagine how hard we struggled to survive especially since we
had a young baby.
Because of this I begged my husband’s employer to allow him to find another job on the side and I promised we
would continue to fulfill our responsibility to find the feed for the animals. I told my husband I would find the feed
for the animals while he could look for other work. With a heavy heart my husband accepted my suggestion
because he could see that there was no other way for us to survive.
My husband worked in any job he could find. Each morning he left at 5 am and would come home at 8 pm or later.
This left me and Niluh in charge of finding the feed for the animals. I carried her on my back strapped on with a
cloth and each day we would go to the jungle to cut grass and find bark and leaves.
I carried the feed back in a large cart that was 1.5 meters wide x 2 meters long and when it was full, it weighed
200kg. When people saw a woman (me) pushing such a big and heavy cart plus carrying a baby, they were quite
shocked and couldn’t believe that I could do it. Sometimes people were kind and would help push it for me for
some of the distance.
I Had a Happy Heart
Maybe for some people they would have felt burdened by this job, but instead I had a happy heart to carry out my
work because I believed in the greatness of God that is most
generous and all caring, and merciful and I felt that we were
always protected by God. With enthusiasm and trust in God as
my working capital, my daughter and I each day would go
alone into the jungle to work. While I was cutting grass I
would lay my baby in the cart to sleep.
I did this job every day for two years and only occasionally
was my husband able to help me. As a woman I also had my
duties as a wife, carrying water from the well, cooking and
washing clothes etc. My daughter Niluh rarely saw her father
during this time as she was still asleep when he left the house
and already asleep when he returned from work.
The wages I earned increased from US$4 a month to $7.50
and I was grateful for the extra money. During these two
‘We were looking for
’
peace and harmony
in our household, but
what could we do?
The family. At the back: Ibu Faustina and Alvira.
In front: Zarina, Sulfiati,and Pak Umaryadi
years, we were able to save some money, and our life improved when we were able to buy a bed, a mattress, a
cupboard and food. When my daughter was 4 years old my husband and I had the wish to join an insurance fund
for the education of our daughter, as we didn’t want her to have a similar life to ours and we were willing to
sacrifice other things to make sure she could be educated.
We knew that by putting the money aside this way, we would not be able to be tempted to use it for other things. It
was only because of this fund, that she was able to finish high school; otherwise we couldn’t have afforded it. For
this insurance we paid US $ 3 per month, which may not seem like a lot, but it was still a struggle for us to pay it.
When our daughter was 5 we returned to live with my in-laws because they were sick and needed us to look after them.
My husband is the oldest of 5 children and he was the only one that was married while his younger siblings were still at
school. We cared for his parents and during this time, we were given another child and her name was Laksmi.
Later, my husband got a job as a caretaker at a primary school which was 10 km from our house. We had no form
of transport whatsoever, so we had to move closer to the school when Niluh was in grade 3, and Laksmi was 8
months. At that time the wages my husband received was US$ 2 per month which was paid every two months. He
was willing to accept this salary because it meant that later there was a possibility of becoming a civil servant.
(Note: this is the hope of most people here. Even though wages are low as a civil servant, it means that there is job
security.)
SUBUD VOICE PAGE 17 MAY 2011