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"The truth, huh? No one wants to hear the truth. The truth is never sexy. But you …" The last button came undone, and he spread her shirt away. "You are too goddamned sexy to be real." His words held his trademark snarky tone, but his eyes conveyed a different message entirely. I was witnessing this scene through Lissa's eyes, but I could imagine what he saw. Her smooth, white skin. Slender waist and hips. A lacy white bra. Through her, I could feel that the lace was itchy, but she didn't care. Feelings both fond and hungry spread over his features. From within Lissa, I could feel her heart race and breathing quicken. Emotions similar to Christian's clouded all other coherent thoughts. Shifting down, he lay on top of her, pressing their bodies together. His mouth sought hers out again, and as their lips and tongues made contact, I knew I had to get out of there. Because I understood it now. I understood why Lissa had dressed up and why the love nest had been decked out like a Yankee Candles showroom. This was it. The moment. After a month of dating, they were going to have sex. Lissa, I knew, had done it before with a past boyfriend. I didn't know Christian's past, but I sincerely doubted many girls had fallen prey to his abrasive charm. But in feeling what Lissa felt, I could tell that none of that mattered. Not in that moment. In that moment, there were only the two of them and the way they felt about each other right now. And in a life filled with more worries than someone her age should have had, Lissa felt absolutely certain about what she was doing now. It was what she wanted. What she'd wanted for a very long time with him. And I had no right to be witnessing it. Who was I kidding? I didn't want to witness it. I took no pleasure in watching other people get it on, and I sure as hell didn't want to experience sex with Christian. It'd be like losing my virginity virtually. But Jesus Christ, Lissa wasn't making it easy to get out of her head. She had no desire to detach from her feelings and emotions, and the stronger they grew, the stronger they held me. Trying to distance myself from her, I focused my energies on coming back to myself, concentrating as hard as I could.
More clothes disappeared … Come on, come on, I told myself sternly. The condom came out… yikes. You're your own person, Rose. Get back in your head. Their limbs intertwined, their bodies moving together … Son of a— I ripped out of her and back to myself. Once again, I was back in my room, but I no longer had any interest in packing my backpack. My whole world was askew. I felt strange and violated— almost unsure if I was Rose or if I was Lissa. I also felt that resentment toward Christian again. I certainly didn't want to have sex with Lissa, but there was that same pang inside of me, that frustrated feeling that I was no longer the center of her world. Leaving the backpack untouched, I went right to bed, wrapping my arms around myself and curling into a ball to try to squelch the ache within my chest. I fell asleep pretty quickly and woke up early as a result. Usually, I had to be dragged out of bed to go meet Dimitri, but today I showed up early enough that I actually beat him to the gym. As I waited, I saw Mason cutting across to one of the buildings that held classrooms. "Whoa," I called. "Since when are you up this early?" "Since I had to retake a math test," he said, walking over to me. He gave me his mischievous smile. "Might be worth skipping, though, to hang out with you." I laughed, remembering my conversation with Lissa. Yes, there were definitely worse things I could do than flirt and start something with Mason. "Nah. You might get in trouble, then I'd have no real challenge on the slopes."
- Page 30 and 31: THREE THE LOBBY OF MY DORM was abuz
- Page 32 and 33: who want to go. With everyone in on
- Page 34 and 35: Since he wasn't wearing a coat, I k
- Page 36 and 37: them—it was a man with blond hair
- Page 38 and 39: "You ever tried to feed those littl
- Page 40 and 41: FOUR I COULDN'T BELIEVE IT. JANINE
- Page 42 and 43: incapable of having the imagination
- Page 44 and 45: "So, Guardian Hathaway," I began. "
- Page 46 and 47: "Coddle?" I asked. This woman had n
- Page 48 and 49: His eyes sparkled. "I can't believe
- Page 50 and 51: "Only to those who bring it to you
- Page 52 and 53: FIVE I HAD NO IDEA WHAT Dimitri was
- Page 54 and 55: observed before, though, Strigoi we
- Page 56 and 57: "Hard to say," I said. Tasha crooke
- Page 58 and 59: "Me too," said Lissa. "Maybe we cou
- Page 60 and 61: "Russian's weird," In Russian, the
- Page 62 and 63: He'd technically been up all of the
- Page 64 and 65: women often had short-term affairs
- Page 66 and 67: make sure she doesn't have a concus
- Page 68 and 69: SEVEN I ANGRILY PUSHED THROUGH THE
- Page 70 and 71: Mia saw my hesitation, and it was l
- Page 72 and 73: "Whatever. I can tell when you're l
- Page 74 and 75: Before I could open my mouth, I fel
- Page 76 and 77: had been a long time since I'd kiss
- Page 78 and 79: EIGHT CHRISTIAN WAS KISSING HER, AN
- Page 82 and 83: He rolled his eyes, still smiling.
- Page 84 and 85: "Look at me," he ordered. "Dimitri
- Page 86 and 87: shouting. "I swear, sometimes it's
- Page 88 and 89: NINE I DIDN'T SEE DIMITRI FOR a whi
- Page 90 and 91: Christian were chatting on in their
- Page 92 and 93: I honestly couldn't believe we were
- Page 94 and 95: "Good." She opened her mouth, and I
- Page 96 and 97: "I'm really tired," I repeated. I c
- Page 98 and 99: TEN THE SKI TRIP COULDN'T HAVE come
- Page 100 and 101: Inside, all sorts of arrangements h
- Page 102 and 103: "Ah," he said triumphantly. "She fi
- Page 104 and 105: leather dress shoes he wore indicat
- Page 106 and 107: "And you think I'm trouble," I mutt
- Page 108 and 109: get a couple of guys to tell everyo
- Page 110 and 111: ELEVEN LISSA WAS UP AND GONE before
- Page 112 and 113: Even I wouldn't want her face burne
- Page 114 and 115: I looked between both their faces.
- Page 116 and 117: could look up and see the stars spi
- Page 118 and 119: Adrian leaned against the porch's r
- Page 120 and 121: TWELVE I WAS OUT OF BED in a flash.
- Page 122 and 123: My mother flipped through some pape
- Page 124 and 125: I moved in front of her and placed
- Page 126 and 127: was one of the ruling Moroi, and as
- Page 128 and 129: was pulled back into a ponytail, co
More clothes disappeared …<br />
Come on, come on, I told myself sternly.<br />
The condom came out… yikes.<br />
You're your own person, Rose. Get back in your head.<br />
Their limbs intertwined, their bodies moving together …<br />
Son of a—<br />
I ripped out of her and back to myself. Once again, I was back in my room, but I no longer had<br />
any interest in packing my backpack. My whole world was askew. I felt strange and violated—<br />
almost unsure if I was Rose or if I was Lissa. I also felt that resentment toward Christian again.<br />
I certainly didn't want to have sex with Lissa, but there was that same pang inside of me, that<br />
frustrated feeling that I was no longer the center of her world.<br />
Leaving the backpack untouched, I went right to bed, wrapping my arms around myself and<br />
curling into a ball to try to squelch the ache within my chest.<br />
I fell asleep pretty quickly and woke up early as a result. Usually, I had to be dragged out of<br />
bed to go meet Dimitri, but today I showed up early enough that I actually beat him to the gym.<br />
As I waited, I saw Mason cutting across to one of the buildings that held classrooms.<br />
"Whoa," I called. "Since when are you up this early?"<br />
"Since I had to retake a math test," he said, walking over to me. He gave me his mischievous<br />
smile. "Might be worth skipping, though, to hang out with you."<br />
I laughed, remembering my conversation with Lissa. Yes, there were definitely worse things I<br />
could do than flirt and start something with Mason.<br />
"Nah. You might get in trouble, then I'd have no real challenge on the slopes."
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