Ordination Paper of Karen Behm - sonkaucc.org - Southwest Ohio ...

Ordination Paper
Karen Behm
August 2011
I. My Theological Perspective and Grasp of the Historic Christian Faith
Although I don’t remember the very act of my baptism, through pictures and
memories of the tight, loving grip of my minister grandfather’s hand in mine, I can
imagine my baptismal day. The shock of the water dripping from his large, worn,
hand to my little fuzzy head. The weight of his hand upon my forehead as he spoke
my name and traced the sign of the cross, “In the name of the Father, the Son and the
Holy Spirit.” This is where my understanding of God begins. This is where the faith
of the church commits to express God’s love towards me, to raise me with the
knowledge and understanding of Scripture and to promote my growth as I have
been initiated into the family of God.
My theological perspective grew from this very moment. I came to understand
the Living God through my immediate relationships. As a small child, God was my
Presbyterian minister grandfather in his flowing black pulpit gown. My mother and
father as they fed, sheltered and loved me. God was BJ Green, the music minster and
Mr. Emch , the children’s church leader. All around me I saw people of faith
welcoming, teaching and embracing.
As I got older I came to understand God as Creator, Judge, Redeemer, Eternal
Spirit and in my teenage years, as Friend. I began to think more abstractly and the
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Biblical stories opened to me in a fuller way. They connected with the universal
human story.
I experienced God’s character and purposes though David, the unnoticed,
shepherd boy chosen by God to be King. The story of unimaginable forgiveness
offered by Joseph to his brothers, as they had sold him into slavery years before.
The remarkable journey of the Israelites from oppression and slavery to the
promised land and of course, the life, death and resurrection of Jesus, offering new
life to all.
God has been revealed to me not only through my experience and the Biblical
witness, but also through the awe and majesty of Creation and the history of the
Judeo-­‐Christian tradition. In seminary, I found richness in the writings of classic
theologians like John Calvin, Karl Barth and John Wesley, but I was also moved by
the writings of Marcus Borg, James Cone, Dietrich Bonhoeffer and Rosemary
Radford Ruether.
Although my family and church family provided me with such a wonderful sanctuary
of life-giving opportunities in which to grow, I quickly became aware of the losses; the
grief of life. I grew up in a funeral home family. My parents, paternal grandparents and
great-grandparents were funeral directors. Ever since I can remember I saw dead people;
a lot of them. They were old, young, short, tall, mostly white and mostly Christian.
There wasn’t a lot of diversity in my small Northeastern Ohio town. They were people
from varying economic backgrounds, dressed in uniforms, suits, pajamas, band uniforms,
dresses and overalls. Many times they were holding things; a Bible, pictures of loved
ones, a can of beer. Usually their death was a mystery to me. I remember from a young
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age, struggling between my understanding of God from the Sunday school lesson and the
open casket before me.
These two settings comprised the environment in which I grew, both the nurturing
church family and the family funeral home experience. They have strongly influenced
the person I am today. My evolving theological perspective has had at its core the
tension between death and resurrection. At my center, I am often asking a question I
heard from the speaker and writer Barbara Johnson, “What does it mean to be Easter
people living in a Good Friday world?” 1
Over the span of my life thus far, I have grappled for the answers. As you will see
from my spiritual journey, I have traveled through several theological perspectives in my
search. I have been deeply immersed in the Reformed Tradition through my UCC
upbringing and Princeton Seminary studies, but I’ve also been exposed to the Holiness
tradition and Arminian beliefs through my time at Asbury Seminary and as a member
of the United Methodist Church.
Through the search, my faith has grown. It has allowed me in my work as a chaplain
to respect and be especially present to the diversity in the Christian spectrum of beliefs.
I’ve come to be at peace with the journey and I embrace the fact that I don’t have to have
all the “right” answers. I’ve learned to live out passionately what I believe and to
embrace the mystery in those areas I can’t fully comprehend.
In my travels and work as a chaplain, I’ve been blessed to meet people from all over
the world. This has solidified my belief in God as Creator of all, who called the world
into being and created all people in the image of God. Scripture declares God as Creator
1 Barbara Johnson, source unknown.
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in Genesis but my belief also flows from changes in the seasons, the beauty and diversity
of flowers, the indescribable birth of a newborn baby, and the power of transformation in
the human life. God is a creative force in all things.
I have struggled to make sense of the Creator God who allowed Creation to be
vulnerable to human choice, thereby exposing us to the human ego and sin. I can only
understand it through the lens of love; the love to offer freedom of choice, to release, to
hold with open hands even despite the potential consequences. This is truly a selfless
love.
I believe because of God’s love for us we were given free will to make decisions.
Through the Biblical story of Adam and Eve, we become aware of good and evil. We see
their decision is to turn away from an ordered and trusting relationship with God in order
to make themselves the center. This speaks to one definition of sin as a misguided love or
“missing the mark.” Pride and selfishness are at the core of this misguided love that
bends love inward, to ourselves, instead of outward to our neighbors. The UCC defines
this inner wrestling of the human condition as sin and aimlessness. It is the denial of the
love and justice that ought to bind us to God and to our neighbors.
John Calvin’s understanding of the human condition, that due to original sin we
are depraved beings, is unsettling to me. Although I do agree that the image of the
Imago Dei is blurred due to human choices that turn away from God, I do not believe it
has been wiped out completely. There still remains a spark of the Divine in each of us.
My understanding of original sin is closer to that of John Wesley’s. He made a
slight distinction from Calvin. He expressed it more as a malignancy of the human
condition than a complete depravation of human existence.
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This malignancy makes sense to me based on my studies of the human condition
through systems theory. The idea that we are all connected in one human family system,
interconnected and influenced by the choices of others, makes sense. I found this belief
echoed in the UCC explanation of the Statement of Faith. The authors, Shinn and
Williams, discuss how sin affects the entire human family. When sin enters the world it
becomes the status of us all. 2
We are connected not only in the present, but the past as well. As we are born
into this world we share the moral burden of history, carrying the consequences of our
human sin in creation, in relationships and in ourselves.
This is how I make sense of
natural disaster and human tragedy; our choices change the very ebb and flow of creation.
If we were to carry the concept of systems theory into the life, death and
resurrection of Jesus, we may understand more fully why he was put to death. Jesus was
a radical systems changer! He shook up the traditional system of law and religion. He
flipped conventional wisdom on its head. He showed through his everyday waking,
sleeping, eating life, how to forgive, love, humble oneself, persevere through temptation
and suffering. Never before had God come in human form. Jesus, God’s son was sent to
offer reconnection between humankind and God. He offered his very life as a sacrifice
for the redemption of all. What incredible love God has for us. Through the resurrection
we see that we can be redeemed, forgiven and freed!
Each day as I walk the halls of the hospital as a chaplain, I am propelled by the
power of this resurrection hope. Not just in the hope of a resurrection after death, but the
2 Shinn and Williams, We believe: An interpretation of the United Church Statement of
Faith (Philadelphia: United Church Press, 1966), p.52
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hope of God’s power to bring resurrection in life through forgiveness, grace,
reconciliation and new beginnings.
I wholeheartedly embrace the mystery of Jesus as being fully human and fully
divine. For me to shift my emphasis in either direction would deflate the significance of
his life and purpose. Jesus came to undergo the joys and sorrows of the human existence.
We read that he attended weddings, spent time with the socially marginalized, wept over
the loss of his close friend and embraced the love of children. He expressed emotions
and endured suffering.
At the same time, Jesus came to give us a tangible understanding of God. Jesus
repeated many times, “If you know me, you know the Father.” The fact that Jesus was
fully human and fully divine meant that not only could Jesus experience the fullness of
humanity and relate to us, but through Him we could also relate to and experience the
fullness of God. God does this not only through his life but also through his redemptive
death and resurrection.
This understanding has helped me find some peace with the question of God and
suffering over the years. Growing up around death, later working for Hospice of the
Western Reserve, then as a chaplain resident at Cincinnati Children’s Hospital and now
as a chaplain at Jewish Hospital, my theodicy has evolved. I don’t ask so often anymore
why God has allowed suffering to occur. My question has changed to, “Where is God in
the midst of suffering?” I resonate with the African-American theologian James Cone,
who after asking this question, looks to the cross and knows that Jesus is present with
those who suffer because he understands suffering as well. 3
3 James H. Cone, God of the Oppressed (New York: Seabury Press, 1975).
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The belief that God understands our suffering through the life and death of Jesus
is astonishing. I can’t answer the cries of those who receive difficult news or lose a
precious loved one, but I can stand with them in their suffering believing that God is also
with them; a God who knows and understands.
God not only understands, but does not leave us alone. As followers of Christ, we
are equipped for our work in the world by the power of the Holy Spirit. Jesus promised,
as he was preparing his disciples for his death and resurrection, that he would not leave
them alone. He promised that his Father would send them a Counselor who would be
with them forever; the Spirit of Truth. Just as God created, Jesus revealed, the Spirit
equips. The Spirit is with the church to guide, teach and protect.
Our statement of Faith affirms, “You bestow upon us your Holy Spirit, creating
and renewing the church of Jesus Christ, binding in covenant faithful people of all ages,
tongues and races.” 4
The Holy Spirit makes possible the ongoing redemptive work of the
church in this world.
The church in all its human frailty is prone to drift from God’s purpose and plan.
As I studied church history I was grieved by the many injustices that have been done in
God’s name; the forced conversions and violence, the oppression of African-Americans
and women, the misuse of power. Our history reveals the need to be a church that is not
just once reformed, but always reforming. The Holy Spirit works personally and
corporately, to keep us in the way of love for the sake of the world. God is still speaking.
4 Statement of Faith, United Church of Christ
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Through spiritual gifts the life of the church functions as one body. We are
reminded that our covenant faith binds us together as people of all “ages, tongues
and races.” We are connected as one spiritual community in the past, present and
future.
At the communion table we are reminded of this great mystery of faith. By
partaking in what I believe is not just a memorial meal but the real presence of
Christ in and through the breaking of the bread and the drinking of the wine, we join
with the body of Christ past, present and future around that great Messianic
Banquet Table. It is a time to remember the life of Jesus, his death and resurrection
as well as opening to the Spirit’s work within our lives and to live into the
resurrection hope in us and for the sake of the world.
As members the body of Christ I believe we are called to bring reconciliation to
the world. My Jewish colleagues talk about their responsibility to take pieces of our
broken world and one by one, put them back together again. I believe this is my call as
well. The Kingdom of God is described as the “already but not yet.” The Kingdom is
here when brokenness is made whole and when peace is forged instead of hate. It is also
a Kingdom of Eternal Life, where the communion of the saints, wait for our joyous
reunion.
The life, death and resurrection of Jesus is lived out through us, as we care for
each-other in our needs and remind one another of the hope of new life, a hope that
overcomes death and despair. We are ambassadors of Resurrection hope! It is in this
hope that I go forth, in the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit. I go into
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the world baptized, a member of the body of Christ, led by the Holy Spirit and
surround by the encouraging cheers of the communion of the saints.
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II. My Understanding of the History, Theological Roots, Polity and Practice
of the United Church of Christ.
I believe the United Church of Christ is a Spirit-­‐led church tracing its roots from
the original disciples of Jesus, to the present disciples of each local UCC church. The
roots weave through the Reformation, through the influences of Luther and Calvin,
to the Pilgrims from England, to the German and Hungarian Protestants yearning for
freedom, to the Christian anti-­‐slavery movement. These movements make up the
four main roots of the current UCC. They included the Congregational, Reformed,
Christian and the Evangelical Church.
As I’ve studied the history, polity and practice of the church, I’ve been moved by
the courage and faith of the women and men who were open to the Holy Spirit’s
direction and call for the formation of the church. I could fill many pages with all
that is noteworthy regarding the background and life of the UCC but for the
purposes of this paper, I will focus on a few that have been pivotal to my call to be
an ordained minister in the UCC .
As a chaplain, I am always interested in how people respond in times of crisis
and change. What gives them strength or hope? How do they make sense, or
meaning, of the event? The stirrings of the United Church of Christ began when
denominationalism was a luxury and people were needing to come together in
order to recover from the chaos of World War II. It was a time in which people felt a
call to be united as the body of Christ in a world of separation.
Living passionately with this goal in mind, the Basis of Union was written by the
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Congregational Christian Church and the Evangelical Reformed Church in 1943.
They desired that the church would be modeled in the future as an even more
inclusive church. The leaders believed that the Church Universal should reflect the
complete community of God’s people. They wrote in their statement that just as
their “fathers” had allowed for the guidance of the Holy Spirit to “speak” to them,
that this new union would also depend on the Holy Spirit to stir in them.
And stir it did! In 1957 the UCC was officially formed. As the movement
continued the leaders felt the need to reflect the deep longing people had for a
theology that was biblically informed and at the same time, contemporary. They
wrote the UCC Statement of Faith. The intent of the statement was not to set up a
set of beliefs by which one had to abide. It was written as a joyful, worshipful
expression of faith as Roger Shinn exclaimed, not as, “a legal document for the
definition of orthodoxy.” 5
This formation of the Statement of Faith reflects the church’s value on the
concept of personal liberty. The idea is that we each have responsibility, as a
member of the priesthood of all believers, to hear the Spirit’s call in our own time
and our own lives. The historic roots are important and do inform us greatly but it
was decided that creeds were to be seen as vital testimonies, but not tests of faith.
The lives and works of the Reformers are valued but the founders of the UCC
community felt it important to also balance our history with the idea originally
spoken by Pastor John Robinson that “there is yet more light and truth to break
5 Roger Shinn, Historic Reflections on the UCC Statement of Faith (Cleveland, OH:
United Church Press, 1990).
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forth from God’s Holy Word.”
As I’ve come to understand James Fowler’s Stages of Faith Development, I find
the space given to question, doubt and dialogue with others is healthy and can lead
to spiritual depth and growth. I have experienced the result of this freedom when I
have been able to listen deeply and allow for space in my pastoral care visits. Many
times I’ve been humbled and honored to experience the Spirit’s movement as a
closed heart comes opens again.
Another document that has been meaningful to me personally and in my work as
I work with people of spiritual backgrounds, has been the UCC Statement of Mission
written in 1987. This statement was written to find common ground between the
different theological understandings in the church. They tackled the delicate
balance between personal transformation through Jesus Christ and the call to follow
the life of Jesus by working for the transformation of society. The church was called
to, “work to energize the Christocentric core while remaining open to remarkable
diversity!”
I love this call to the church. I’ve found as I’ve opened to diversity in the world,
my love of Jesus and my call to minister has only grown. As I’ve been invited into
the sacred space of a Jewish, Muslim or a Hindu patient, I’ve opened to the mystery
of the spiritual connection we share. As I learn from and develop trust, my love for
Jesus only grows deeper.
The polity of the UCC reflects the theological belief of the “priesthood of all
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elievers.” I’ve always felt uncomfortable with churches who elevate their pastor
into an authoritarian role. Dissident preacher James O’Kelly from the Christians
religious movement stressed the idea of liberty of conscience over authoritarian
church government. He believed that any number of Christians joined together in
love, with Christ as their head constitutes a church.
The UCC believes that all are called to be ministers, proclaiming the good news
of the life and resurrection of Jesus. This is seen in how the church functions, makes
decisions and governs itself. The Spirit is speaking at all levels; from the members
of the local church, of the association and conference, and up to the general Synod
on the national level. Covenantal relationships provide support to each other and to
the mission of the region.
During the 1980’s and part of the 1990’s, the church was criticized from
within and without for not being theologically sound. In response to this in 1993,
“Toward the 21 st Century: A Statement of Commitment” was written. The document
emphasized that the UCC would be a place for all people, including those people who
historically were excluded by the Christian community.
The last two major documents written in 1993 and 2005, were calls to be a
multiracial multicultural church and a church which promotes the wholeness of all
people. Both of these documents reflect the life of the church to be about healing
and activism; healing for the hurts incurred through racism and discrimination not
only to people with cultural differences, but also with those who have disabilities.
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The vision in the document “Wholeness” is that of the Great Messianic
Banquet table open to all.
The practice of the church was set in course from the
beginning. The church was united to be a model to the world that the followers of
Christ can hold the tension of difference and diversity. The UCC not only strives to
hold the tension but to dance with it. God’s face is only more known to us in the face
of the “other.” Praise God that “there is yet more light and truth to break forth from
God’s holy word.”
As the church embraces its history, stretches with its theology and moves
within its polity, it is always striving to be of service in an ever-­‐changing world. The
responsibility of the people of the UCC is to listen carefully as God speaks in the
world today. This needs to happen with a balanced understanding of what God has
done through the Scriptures, within church history and now in our very present.
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III. My Faith Pilgrimage and Understanding of Ministry
Every Sunday during my childhood, my parents loaded up the car with our
family and drove us down the road to attend church at Central Congregational
United Church of Christ in Madison, Ohio. It was in this spiritual community that I
was baptized by the UCC minister and my Presbyterian grandfather, confirmed as a
teenager and blessed as I headed off to college and later seminary. The church
provided a safe place to ask questions and to learn about God and what it means to
live out the gospel of Jesus Christ in the world. It was a place where the body of
Christ surrounded me with love and support. My spiritual community was made up
of Sunday school teachers, the elderly with their advice and hugs, camp counselors
at Pilgrim Hills and children’s choir. I was saturated in the love and grace of God,
through the people of God.
Although my initial spiritual growth took place within the community of the
UCC and was very positive, like many teenagers I felt compelled to explore my faith
to make it my own. While my other friends rebelled by refusing to go to church and
getting involved in activities outside the accepted norm, I rebelled by joining a youth
group at a local nondenominational church and exploring more “orthodox” ideas. I
believe that the rules of the church and the clear answers I found there offered me
stability during the chaos of adolescence.
This movement into a more conservative theology challenged me to think
about my views on women in ministry and the call in my life. Ever since I could
remember, I felt a calling to offer care to people “outside” the local church. It began
as a child, when I became interested in the elderly, homebound people in my
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neighborhood. With my Easy-­‐Bake Oven and my mother’s help, I would make little
cakes for my elderly neighbors. These deliveries of the sweet offerings were
something like pastoral visits, I realize as I reflect now. I would sit and listen as the
stories of their lives were told. Maybe I became a good listener because usually if I
sat long enough, a treat was offered my way? Who knows? I’d like to think, my
motives were pure but usually I left with a full belly and a warm heart.
Growing up my family was in the funeral home business, which had a
profound effect on me. As soon as I was able to pull weeds, I was working at the
funeral home. My years of service led me from outside flower duty to inside funeral
support. The questions of life, death and God were ever before me. The value and
importance of good pastoral care became etched into my very being.
Another influential work experience took place the summer before my first
year in college. I was hired in a local nursing home as a nurse’s aid. I was
profoundly affected by the many deaths I experienced and was struck by the
enormous difference between the experiences of the patients with a spiritual
community and those without.
By the time I was ready for college, I felt strongly that I was called to some
type of helping ministry. For this reason I was determined to go to Houghton
College, a small Christian Liberal arts school in New York.
Throughout college I struggled with the conservative teaching regarding the
women’s role in the church. This of course baffled my grandfather. Born in
Alabama in the center of segregation and civil rights abuses, he was at the forefront
of the civil rights movement of his time. He told me that soon after his mother died,
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when he was still in high school, he came to understand the love and transforming
power of Jesus Christ in his life. He remarked, “Karen, after I understood God’s love
and unconditional grace towards me, I could never look at another human being as
less than or greater than me.” From that day forward, my grandfather was a leader
in promoting racial justice and women’s rights. He worked tirelessly to bring
refugee families from Southeast Asia to the United States for safety. This influence
has been a great guide and teacher in my life.
Still, I had to come to my own understanding of the Word of God and the
teaching of Jesus in my life. During my college years I studied the Bible tirelessly.
During my sophomore year I chose Educational Ministries as a major and the Bible
as a minor. My thought at that time was to become a youth minister. My studies led
me to Hamburg Wesleyan Church in Buffalo, New York for a semester internship,
which was extended into a full year. I worked alongside the youth ministers to
provide small group study, large group events and discipleship.
Soon after my time in Buffalo, I pursued my Master of Arts in Counseling at
Asbury Theological Seminary in Wilmore, Kentucky. My work with youth was
fulfilling but I felt that a counseling degree would also be helpful. During my time at
Asbury I was exposed to the United Methodist tradition and challenged to
understand the Word of God in a new way. Through learning critical Biblical
interpretation, the Wesleyan Quadrilateral and by stretching my reading to
theologians with more progressive views, a new world opened up. My studies led
me to many interesting opportunities, such as a yearlong internship as a high school
guidance teacher and my first unit of clinical pastoral education (CPE) at Akron
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General Hospital in Akron, Ohio
To sustain myself financially, I worked as an assistant youth minister for two
years at a church called Great Commission Fellowship. I experienced so much joy
leading and learning with the girls in my Junior High Bible Study. Another job was
as a server at Joseph-­‐Beth café in Lexington, which was very beneficial because it
gave me perspective on the world beyond my conservative Christian community
Through these experiences and studies I began to see that God was much
bigger than I had understood in the past. I also realized that although youth
ministry was something I valued, I did not want it to be the focus of my vocation. It
was my time at Akron General, where I met people from all different backgrounds,
that was most intriguing to me. Through this work, I felt most connected with the
call I had felt since childhood; through meeting people outside the church with the
love and grace of God.
I knew that to be a chaplain in most hospitals required a Master of Divinity
degree, but at this point in my life I felt the need to gain work experience before
venturing back into the educational system. I was hired at Hospice of the Western
Reserve in Northeast Ohio, where I worked for three years visiting hospice patients
in nursing homes and assisted living communities. Again, God surprised me with
joy as I saw the work of God in people’s lives from all over the world. It was an
honor to journey with people at their last stage of life. I heard many stories of joy,
loss and love. I was also humbled to perform funeral services for the people in my
care who didn’t have their own clergy. For me, my theology around the importance
of community—the body of Christ—only grew stronger. I also came to understand
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the power of the resurrection hope in a deeper way.
During this time of my life, I began to rethink my church affiliation. I no
longer felt comfortable with the conservative theology of the nondenominational
church. The way that I read and understood the Bible had changed. One day while
visiting a patient at Hospice House, I heard an amazing, United Methodist gospel
choir singing to the patients. After the concert, I talked with the female African-­‐
American pastor, the Rev. Tanya Fields-­‐Brooks. She invited me to worship the next
Sunday and I stayed for three years. It was a profound experience for me. Being the
only white member, I was a minority for the first time in my life. I was humbled and
encouraged through heartfelt discussions with my sisters and brothers in Christ.
During my membership at New Freedom United Methodist, I became involved by
joining the choir, helping run the Sunday School ministry and preaching on occasion.
It was a joyful, wonderful experience.
After that my calling as a chaplain led me back to Cincinnati, where I began a
yearlong CPE residency at Cincinnati Children’s Medical Center. I was assigned
specialized areas to offer spiritual support to the patients, families and staff. I
focused upon the Intensive Care Unit and the inpatient psychiatric care unit. Once a
week I spent the night in the hospital to respond to trauma calls and other
emergencies. It was a difficult year. I wrestled with the deep questions of theodicy
and what it means to be a Christian working with people from diverse religious and
spiritual backgrounds. My CPE supervisors helped me stay present to these big
questions of faith. I was also deeply affected by my mentors. Their styles of
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presence in crisis honed my own way of being with people in pain.
After my year concluded, I desired to be challenged and stretched
intellectually. I was ready for something different theologically, and so I applied and
was accepted at Princeton Theological Seminary in New Jersey. I had heard about
Princeton my whole life from my grandfather who was a student 60 years ago.
Princeton did not disappoint. It was the most difficult academic environment I’d
faced but also the most rewarding. I took classes in the Old and New Testament,
Church history and theology. I connected deeply with reading theology written by
women, African-­‐Americans and gay and lesbian people.
During my time at Princeton, I interned at a church in New York City. Twice a
week, I took the train and subway to St. Andrew & St. Paul’s United Methodist
Church in Manhattan. I worked with the homework help program, tutored Hispanic
children and led a Sunday School class. I also had opportunities to preach and to
help with rituals and holiday celebrations with this wonderful community, where
homeless and homeowners sat together in the same pew listening to the word of
God. The pastor Rev. “K” Karpen met with me weekly throughout the year to
discuss my work, questions and challenges. His open, grace-­‐filled nature was a gift.
In the Spring of 2006, I graduated from Princeton Seminary. By this time I
was working towards ordination in the United Methodist Church. With several job
prospects on the horizon Cincinnati seemed like the place be. Soon I accepted a job
as a chaplain at The Jewish Hospital. In addition to patient care, a highlight of my
job has been mentoring Hebrew Union College Seminary Students. For part of their
training to become Rabbis, they are encouraged to do a unit of CPE. I’ve had the
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opportunities to attend their senior sermons, celebrate their ordinations at Plum
Street Temple, study Torah and discuss Christian-­‐Jewish relations and even play on
the Jewish softball team.
My passion at the hospital centers around end-­‐of-­‐life care. My days are
always varied, but I find myself mostly ministering in the Intensive Care Unit and
with the Palliative Care Team. It seems that my early days of working in the funeral
home sparked a desire within me to provide the most sensitive care to our families
facing loss.
For the first few years back in Cincinnati, I was part of the Hyde Park
Community United Methodist Church. I was involved in the young adult ministry,
Holy Week activities, and once again, enjoyed preaching from time to time.
For almost two years, I met with a minister who was my assigned mentor in
the UMC. My decision to leave the United Methodist Church had nothing to do with
the community of people. The Rev. Suzanne Fountaine and I discussed my
concerns, hesitations and convictions around the structure of the UMC, the lack of
support for chaplains and the unjust treatment of gay and lesbian people. It was a
process of grief for me to decide to leave, but after my grandfather died on Palm
Sunday of 2009, I knew it was time for me to move forward with the call God has
placed on my life.
My grandfather has always been one of my greatest spiritual mentors and a
steadfast believer in my call, and as I grieved his passing I remembered a
conversation we had about the purpose of our lives in ministry. He used an analogy
of us both running our own race in life. He told me that his race was almost over,
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and that it was my turn to take the baton and run. We discussed some of the issues
he’d felt God call him to run with, such as racial equality, women in ministry, etc.
We discussed other social justice issues facing the present church, some of which we
had differing views on. But it didn’t matter to my grandfather whether he agreed
with me or not, his word for me was to run; to run the race set before me while
carrying the baton of faith. Wearing a pulpit gown he and my grandmother had
given me at my seminary graduation, I eulogized his life at his funeral. As I spoke
words of tribute, faith and love, I knew it was time to live fully into my call with all
that God has created me to be. It is time to run.
After much prayer and discernment, I decided that the UCC is where I belong
theologically and ministerially. Soon after this decision, I ran into the Rev. Henry
Marksberry at Jewish Hospital. His encouragement and critical timing prodded me
forward to seek out a local UCC congregation. Finding First UCC in College Hill felt
like coming home. Soon after I joined the class, “History and Polity of the UCC,” at
United Seminary and it only confirmed that I had arrived where I truly belonged.
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