Polyparty-ism - Search for Common Ground

The water in the deep well
32
Perspective is
not an empty
vessel in
which we put
spices over
and over
again, do
endless
research on
the idea of
rebuilding,
subject to
new cartographic
and
ideological
aims, which
we will incorporate
into
collective
needs.
Perspective is
improvement
on the past,
in which the
structure and
the contents
of the personal
are
modified by
new and
brave testimony.
Krste Chachanski
I live in a film of my own making, in
which I have to play a role that I do not want
to play. But it is a role that I have chosen, and
it is a role with many deficiencies. At the same
time, it includes many significant moments
which are laid upon the building blocks of
what I have created, the building blocks of my
self image. And the role has passed through filters
of lucid consideration for others. I wrote
this while trying to distil my own consciousness
out of a collective consciousness. This is
very difficult to do and it is very immoral,
because of reality and all that which inevitably
accompanies reality. It is like the summons to
an artificial game which has in itself all of the
elements of a real war. I believe that the personal
world, the intimate vocabulary dies,
fades, leaving an empty space. Within this
empty space, among other things, are the
thoughts, the pain that others feel, and the general
readiness to put an end to that pain. The
suffering that happens here is a fixed point, a
way of thinking, a way of life and a pressing
need.
All of this has grabbed me with its iron
nails and made me a hostage. Thus, encircled
in the universe of this alchemy, I am able to see
the slightly darkened faces of the people who
take part in my life. But I am never able to see
what it is that separates us - regardless of
whether one of us is Andre and the other is
Miftar. I stand by the idea that we are all born
under the same sun, we all breathe the same air
and drink the same water. We all feel
depressed once a year when we see the Drim
River dry out, and the workers of HPP
Globochica from Struga, cut the grass in the
dry riverbed. Because, regardless of our names
and the crosses we all have to carry, we are all
used to seeing the same river full of God's
beauty and not as a filthy, black chasm.
I write this to tell you that I often find
myself captured for hours, like a martyr, in
front of the TV set, looking at it as if it were a
holy icon. I have forsaken my long established
habit of holding a book in my hands to live vicariously
through my imagined screenplay.
Now I watch the news, aching at the thought of
all the possible and impossible consequences.
All things come from God, it is true. But I
make the effort to close my eyes to the truth
and to accept the philosophy of the ostrich, the
danger, and the sand, to be truly horrible.
Especially when the tragedy of the black-clad
mothers is very real, and especially when our
Fatherland is in peril. The situation being such,
there are no adequate words or post-modern
phrases that can sweeten the truth or change its
content. Words can not do that because a fluorescent
beam emitted from the media, the
newspapers, and the pictures that stand as a
testimony of the war, are undeniable evidence
of the truth. These images illustrate the statement,
"politics belongs to the marketplace
which has nothing in common with morality."
And politics always wears the poor person's
cloak of spiritual misery. Politics will calculate
their nonexistent problems up to the final
detail, and maybe their real problems, and it
will turn all the logic of a sane mind upside
down. In the end politics will invent war as the
only mean of solving these problems. And
we're up to our knees in scriptwriters and postmodern
cartographers.
I remember something I read years ago.
Humanity has suffered 14,000 wars. I will
multiply this number with the meaninglessness
of the human experience and the warnings
sown into this experience and this number only
multiplies the ice within me. Only one war is
needed to understand the warnings, regardless
of what the philosophers of Fascism say when
they equate waging a war with personal
hygiene.
What now, June 2001