December 2012 - Costa Calida Chronicle
December 2012 - Costa Calida Chronicle
December 2012 - Costa Calida Chronicle
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In the previous issue, I discussed the issue<br />
about setting boundaries in a relationship.<br />
This theme is continued in this issue as I feel it<br />
is an important matter. By setting boundaries<br />
in any relationship, it does not mean that<br />
there is less love or respect, merely a matter<br />
of stating clearly what appropriate behaviour<br />
is and what is not. By making this clear to<br />
the other party, it avoids misunderstandings,<br />
family fall-outs and arguments and with the<br />
Festive Season looming, there is enough<br />
stress in our lives without having to deal with<br />
interfering behaviour.<br />
Wishing all my readers, a Merry<br />
Christmas and a Happy New Year!<br />
Dear Jennifer,<br />
Every year, my sisters and I take turns<br />
to host Christmas dinner and each<br />
year, after a few Sherries my mother<br />
will pick an argument with relatives.<br />
We have spoken to her privately about<br />
her behaviour, but her excuse is that<br />
Christmas is once a year and she is<br />
entitled to let her hair down, so to speak.<br />
I am dreading it this year as it is my<br />
turn. I have just got married and want<br />
to invite my new in-laws to our home,<br />
but don’t want to be embarrassed by<br />
Mum’s behaviour. What am I to do?<br />
Sara<br />
Dear Sara,<br />
Unfortunately, like you, many dread the<br />
Festive Season for this very reason! It can be<br />
the cause of family tension that is unabated<br />
for months or even years and nobody likes<br />
being in the midst or the cause of such<br />
unpleasantness. Christmas is a time for the<br />
family to get together and where necessary,<br />
to heal old wounds. I assume that not<br />
inviting Mum is not an option, so the choices<br />
left to you are: either speak with your Mum<br />
again and lay down some ground-rules OR<br />
only serve alcohol-free drinks or alcohol-free<br />
cocktails on the day, as alcohol seems to be<br />
the catalyst to unruly behaviour. In this way,<br />
the festivities can continue without fear of<br />
embarrassment.<br />
Enjoy the day for all it has to offer.<br />
Jennifer<br />
Dear Jennifer,<br />
There will be an empty seat at our<br />
Christmas table as my lovely, devoted<br />
wife passed away in March this year.<br />
She loved Christmas and took joy<br />
preparing the turkey and shopping for<br />
the grandkids. How will I cope without<br />
breaking down in tears? I am lost<br />
without her and Christmas will never<br />
be the same without her. My daughter<br />
and her family know how I feel and are<br />
visiting me from the UK as they don’t<br />
want me to sit in a cold and lonely villa<br />
by myself. I appreciate their gesture<br />
but it will not be the same without my<br />
Norma.<br />
Jim<br />
Dear Jim,<br />
Christmas is especially hard when there is a<br />
loved one absent. Emotions run high and it<br />
is natural to feel the way you do, but ask<br />
yourself this – Would Norma want you to feel<br />
lonely, or would she want you to carry on<br />
with Christmas the way she would have? It<br />
is going to be a challenge, I will be honest,<br />
but being surrounded by loving friends and<br />
family does help.<br />
In association with <strong>Costa</strong> Cálida International Radio and www.angloINFO.com<br />
Instead of concentrating on Norma’s absence,<br />
why not turn it into a celebration of her life<br />
and remember Christmas the way she would<br />
have wanted you to. With your daughter’s<br />
help, why not re-create her favourite recipes<br />
and raise a toast to her memory. There will<br />
be time for you to mourn your loss privately<br />
and to shed a few tears, but try to smile for<br />
your daughter and the grandkids’ sake. They<br />
miss her too.<br />
If you find it too traumatic, don’t be afraid to<br />
ask for help from family counsellors or even<br />
The Samaritans. Help is always at hand, if<br />
you need it.<br />
Jennifer<br />
If you would like Jennifer to help you with<br />
a problem, just email her at: jennifer@<br />
lifemaxxinternational.com. Jennifer is an<br />
Emotional Wellness Coach, Life Coach and<br />
Holistic Therapist. Confidentiality is respected<br />
and all letters will be anonymised.<br />
Puerto Lumbreras Christian Fellowship<br />
now meets every 1st and 3rd Sunday each<br />
month at 11.00am in the premises of the<br />
Spanish Evangelical Church Puerto Lumbreras<br />
Tel 619453283 Paul and Sandra<br />
Page 6<br />
Please tell our customers where you saw their advertisement in the <strong>Costa</strong> Cálida <strong>Chronicle</strong><br />
Sales Contact Teresa 619 199 407 or for the Editor Contact Patti 646 005 017<br />
www.costacalidachronicle.com<br />
email: costacalidachronicle@gmail.com
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