Through Their Eyes: Domestic Violence and It's Impact on Children

<strong>Through</strong> <strong>Their</strong> <strong>Eyes</strong>
• Stay out of the
fight. You can be
hurt by things that
get thrown or by
blows intended for
someone else.
• Go to a friend or
neighbor’s house.
• Figure out how
many different
ways you can get
out of your house or
apartment.
• Call for help (911).
• Find an adult you
can trust <strong>and</strong>
tell them what is
happening with your
family. 15
“Rebecca <strong>and</strong> I completed our safety
plan on Thursday evening. The next
Saturday, there was a serious incident
in her home. On Monday, I talked
to Rebecca <strong>and</strong> she was so proud
that she had remembered <strong>and</strong> used
her safety plan. Her description was
powerful. She said, ‘Kellie, I did it, I
did it exactly right! I ran downstairs
to the laundry room <strong>and</strong> waited for
my mommy <strong>and</strong> we ran as fast as
we could across the backyard to the
neighbor’s house!’”
The story demonstrates the power of
safety planning. If children know what
to do <strong>and</strong> can follow through, their
recollection of the incident can be
drastically different than the helpless,
worried confusion of not knowing
what to do. In Rebecca’s case, the
batterer had a gun, <strong>and</strong> the police
needed to call in a SWAT team to
diffuse the situation.
Safety plans need to be fluid. The
Children’s <strong>Domestic</strong> <strong>Violence</strong>
Program helps children rewrite
their plans if locations or
situations change or if the
child attempted to follow
it <strong>and</strong> was unsuccessful.
The Children’s <strong>Domestic</strong>
<strong>Violence</strong> Program acts
out safety plans with
children so that they
are comfortable with
using them, <strong>and</strong> so
that they can remember
them during stressful or
frightening situations.
Much of the Children’s <strong>Domestic</strong>
<strong>Violence</strong> Program works because it
operates on an individualized level
with each child. Advocates have the
ability to be flexible with each child
<strong>and</strong> determine what would best serve
him or her.
According to Dr. Jeffrey Edleson, an
essential component when working
with children affected by domestic
violence is to consider each child’s
unique situation. “When people
hear about this problem, they’re
horrified. They think every child is
in great, great danger. This leads to
overreaction to many of these children
<strong>and</strong> stereotyping of them. We need
to think carefully about each one of
these children. This is a message for
practitioners as well as parents. Each
child is an individual. The best result is
when we work with both the children
<strong>and</strong> their mother.”
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