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effort to take our current Internet and print publications
and add the words “for single mothers.” When
we serve single mothers as part of our church ministry,
we are not saying they didn’t make mistakes during
their marriages. We are not saying teenage pregnancy
is good. We are saying that we understand that people
sin and are sinned against, but no matter what, we will
help minister the grace of God to all those who need it.
Single mothers need us to intentionally communicate
they are accepted. Many times they feel like outcasts in
the church because their marriages failed. Once they
know they are wanted, we can begin to meet their needs.
The single mother’s greatest need is knowing Christ
who will not fail her or ever leave her because of her
faults. Our evangelistic efforts and discipleship ministries
could go a long way with single mothers if we used
believers with a consideration for their situation. Their
discipleship will not look that much different from
other people, but it does require some sensitivity to
their schedules. Single mothers may take twice as long
to complete certain Bible studies because they simply
do not have a great deal of free time. Our expectations
should consider the difficulty of their lives. As we disciple
these women, we also need to keep in mind that
they are the spiritual leaders of their homes; they will be
the ones passing truth to their children.
Single mothers need friendships consisting of married
and single women. The problem is that these ladies
are usually working or spending time with their kids
so they have to be very selective about whom they get
to know and what church activities they attend. Single
moms can’t keep up with the pace of fellowships that
exists with childless single adults, and they do not
always feel comfortable in a room filled with happy
couples. We have to meet them where they are in life.
Small groups for single mothers led by capable married
and single women would be a great start. If the small
groups meet during times when their children are being
ministered to, we will be communicating our love for
the people they love most.
Ultimately, the single mother will appreciate ministries
that target her, but she will always be thinking
about her children. The pastors of the church need to
identify trustworthy men who can minister to her children.
A man who is doing an activity with his son could
bring along the son of a single mother. In the same way,
a man with a daughter could invite the daughter of a
single mother into his home for a meal with his family.
The conversations that take place during these ordinary
moments could be life changing.
Those are some of the ways a couple families ministered
to my family when I was growing up. They gave us
their friendship, and we often lived life together. One
time, a man from the church paid for my brother and
me to attend a Promise Keeper’s event with him. I do
not remember a single thing taught at that event sixteen
years ago, but I will never forget when that Christian
father and husband knelt down on the ground and
prayed for my walk with God. He wasn’t trying to be
our dad or be a hero to my mom; he was just caring
about us the way his heavenly Father cared about him.
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