here - The Southern Baptist Theological Seminary

J DFM 2.2 (2012): 94-95
Equipping the Generations:
True Religion: How the Church
Can Care for the Single Mother
RENE GOMEZ
Rene Gomez
(B. A.,
Moody Bible
Institute) is
associate
pastor for
youth ministry
at Ninth and O Baptist
Church in Louisville, KY.
Rene has been happily
married to Julie for 11
years, and they have three
children.
When I was a kid, I heard people call
my mom a single mother. Usually, it
was said with a hint of pity, but she
seemed fine to me. I did not notice any
difference in her ability to have fun or
spank me as compared to the other
mothers on the block. As a matter of
fact, she seemed better at those things
than the other mothers. She worked,
she helped me with my homework,
and she was always making some kind
of special dessert. Maybe my obliviousness
was compounded by the fact
that my dad was in my life to do all the
dad-stuff with every other weekend.
Two jobs have helped me reevaluate
my perspective. As a youth pastor,
I have been able to compare my mother’s
experiences with that of other single
mothers in the church. The reality
is that my mother was tired and did
not have many friends as she cared for
three busy kids and worked long hours
at a restaurant. As a police officer, I
was able to see what potentially could have happened if
my mother did not have Christ or his church. One occasion
stands out: I had to arrest a single mother who was
high on drugs, and I had to take her son away from her.
If we want to help single mothers, we have to understand
they carry the burdens of family life alone. Many
times her closest friends are her children. In one way,
this situation makes her uniquely gifted at connecting
with her children, but the reality is that her children
cannot provide the kind of friendship and encouragement
she needs. Instead, she has to make sure their
needs are met, and so she is forced to move on with life
at an intense speed just to provide for them. As she provides
for them, cares for them, disciplines them, and
tries to enjoy them, her children serve as a reminder that
this painful situation was not created alone, but she will
face it alone.
The church has an opportunity to make sure the
single mother is not alone. We can address the issues she
is facing with careful concern. Instead of mentioning
the single mother in sermons as an example of “the hard
life” and leaving it there, we could publicly acknowledge
her situation and exhort people to offer encouragement
to the single mothers they know. It does not take much
94