here - The Southern Baptist Theological Seminary

GOD NEVER FAILS US
One priority in the counseling process is to protect the
children from preventable pain and to prepare them for
coming changes. 2 Another priority is to build them up
spiritually by sharing biblical truths that will ground
their faith. Their “why” questions cannot be separated
from the One who knows why. They need biblical truth
for knowledge and wisdom. The fear of the Lord is
the beginning of knowledge. The fear of the Lord also
protects believers from unwise decisions (Prov 1:33;
14:26). Counseling is not only concerned with immediate
needs but also long-term needs.
The fear of the Lord involves trusting God because
of who he is and his promises (Ps 91:2, Is 26:4). Believers
can trust God because he never fails people. Trusting
God means accepting what has happened and responding
to situations in a manner pleasing to him (1 Thess
2:4). The girls wanted an answer for their why question
but they had to learn the more important lesson in
trusting God even when the “why” does not make sense.
They also needed to know that daddy may never return
home but things will be okay. At an early age, they are
learning that not all problems in life can be fixed nor
preventable. The girls might be tempted to have “if
only” thoughts. If only I had been more obedient. If
only I was better. Such thoughts place the source of control
in their knowledge, skills, and abilities, leading them
to believe that they are in control when God is the only
sovereign one. By learning what it means to trust God,
the girls gain valuable wisdom for the rest of their lives
and learn the implications of the gospel.
Parents and leaders can use difficult situations to
teach powerful truths about the gospel.
1. The gospel points to our need for a Savior (1 Thess
5:9). Without faith in Christ, we are sinners lost in our
destructive ways. In this case, both of the two girls seem
to understand the gospel and believe in Christ as their
Savior. Either way, parents and leaders should help children
understand the implications of the gospel and the
need to share the good news with others. For these girls,
they can learn to pray for their father’s repentance and
salvation. Despite the father’s sins, he is still a person
created in the image of God, a person who is spiritually
lost and needs the gospel. 3 The mother has also asked
friends and church leaders to reach out to him.
2. The gospel means loving God and our neighbors
as we love ourselves (Matt 22:36-40). When talking
about the father, the children learn biblical love by how
their mother and others speak of him and treat him.
Though the father is acting contrary to God’s Word in
word and deed, it is not only counterproductive but
sinful to tear him down (Eph. 4:29). The girls will either
learn that gossip is never acceptable or acceptable under
certain circumstances. Leading by example is powerful,
especially with children who do not possess the knowledge
and life experience as adults.
3. The gospel involves a heart change (Ez 36:26). The
father may be able to quote many Scripture passages but
his heart has not been affected. It is fitting that one of
the girls mentioned Leviticus because it points to God’s
impossible standard of holiness and man’s inadequacy to
perfectly fulfill them. Only Christ can deliver man from
sin (Ps 39:8, Gal 1:4); only Christ can save this father
from continuing his path of destruction.
4. The gospel means trusting God or placing faith
in him. Believers trust God not only at the beginning
of salvation (Rom 4:5) but throughout their salvation
(sanctification) until glorification (Ps 37:5, Isa 12:2).
The girls are taught to trust God as their father in
heaven who loves them and knows what is best for them
(Matt 7:11). While their earthly father has failed them,
their heavenly father will never fail them (Ps 118:8).
Trusting God involves knowing his character.
The next section briefly shows how God’s character
was incorporated in one counseling session. It is relevant
for different kinds of teaching opportunities with children
and not just counseling sessions. It is only one practical
idea and not the only way to teach God’s character.
YAHWEH-SHAMMAH, THE LORD
IS THERE
God never changes (Mal 3:6) but circumstances do.
Focusing on God’s character gives hope, which strengthens
believers during trials. For this part of the counseling
session, I used Sally Michael’s God’s Names. 4 It’s a very
thin book for parents “to present solid truth to their
children and to encourage real-life application of the
truth” (10). 5 The book’s structure reveals Sally Michael’s
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