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قصص مصورة من هنا وهناك<br />
picture stories from here and there<br />
1<br />
18+
contents<br />
Editorial : So, What Is A Samandal?............................................3<br />
THE FDZ<br />
Khkhkh................................................................................................... 7<br />
HATEM IMAM<br />
Suspended Time, Number 1: The Family Tree.......................14<br />
MAZEN KERBAJ<br />
Glitterpill......................................................................................36<br />
ELYSE TABET<br />
the Educator...............................................................................38<br />
FOUAD R MEZHER<br />
Salon Tarek el Khurafi..............................................................65<br />
OMAR KHOURI<br />
Yoghurt & Jam...........................................................................93<br />
LENA MERHEJ<br />
Happy Birthday to Me........................................................104<br />
FARAH NEHME<br />
Dans le Taxi...........................................................................109<br />
BARRACK RIMA<br />
Nicoptine............................................................................... 129<br />
ISABELLE BOINOT<br />
The Vacant Lot.......................................................................147<br />
ANDY WARNER
Khkhkh<br />
Hatem Imam<br />
Read in this direction<br />
vroom<br />
Toot<br />
Whoosh...<br />
Wrrr...wrrr...
foooo…<br />
Fshhhhh…..<br />
Whoosh..<br />
Tick...<br />
squeeeaaaak….<br />
Dub…<br />
Tub…<br />
Wrrrr….<br />
Fffffffffffff….
Click..<br />
Dub...<br />
Tub..<br />
voommm…<br />
Ffff…<br />
whooosh….
Khsh….<br />
Ooof…<br />
Ffffff…<br />
squeaaak….<br />
(right to left) squeaaaaak...vrrr...brrr...shffff...tick..wrrr...beep...dub...hmmm….<br />
Ffffffffffff….
(Top to bottom) Beep! Ffffff…..nnnnnn….streeeeechhhh...pull….zzzzzz…..hhh...tick...fluff..dub….wheee...mmmm…<br />
sssss...brrbrrbrrr
The end
Suspended Time, Number 1:<br />
The Family Tree<br />
by Mazen Kerbaj
Read in this direction<br />
People and Places<br />
The Hanin Family Association<br />
Held a meeting on 16/12/2000 at the St. Georges Cathedral in Hadath in order to<br />
elect new board members. After the election, positions were assigned to each<br />
of the new members<br />
Evan Antoine Mazen Kerbaj<br />
Mr. Mazen Antoine Kerbaj and his wife Mrs. Diana (formerly Ayyoub) were<br />
blessed with a newborn boy - their first - named Evan Antoine (Trad Hospital)<br />
Tasha Roger Ghoreyyeb<br />
Roger Ghoreyyeb and his wife Katia (formerly Haddad) are pleased to<br />
announce the birth of their first daughter, named Tasha, born 3/2/2001 (St.<br />
Georges Hospital, Beirut)<br />
People and Places<br />
The Hanin Family Association<br />
Held a meeting on 16/12/2000 at the St. Georges Cathedral in Hadath in order to<br />
elect new board members. After the election, positions were assigned to each<br />
of the new members<br />
Evan Antoine Mazen Kerbaj<br />
Mr. Mazen Antoine Kerbaj and his wife Mrs. Diana (formerly Ayyoub) were<br />
blessed with a newborn boy - their first - named Evan Antoine (Trad Hospital)<br />
Tasha Roger Ghoreyyeb<br />
Roger Ghoreyyeb and his wife Katia (formerly Haddad) are pleased to<br />
announce the birth of their first daughter, named Tasha, born 3/2/2001 (St.<br />
Georges Hospital, Beirut)<br />
People<br />
The Hanin Family Association<br />
Held a meeting on 16/12/2000 at the St. Georges Cathedral in Hadath in order to<br />
elect new board members. After the election, positions were assigned to each<br />
of the new members<br />
Evan Antoine Mazen Kerbaj<br />
Mr. Mazen Antoine Kerbaj and his wife Mrs. Diana (formerly Ayyoub) were<br />
blessed with a newborn boy - their first - named Evan Antoine (Trad Hospital)<br />
Tasha Roger Ghoreyyeb<br />
Roger Ghoreyyeb and his wife Katia (formerly Haddad) are pleased to<br />
announce the birth of their first daughter, named Tasha, born 3/2/2001 (St.<br />
Georges Hospital, Beirut)<br />
People and Places<br />
The Hanin Family Association<br />
Held a meeting on 16/12/2000 at the St. Georges Cathedral in Hadath in order to<br />
elect new board members. After the election, positions were assigned to each<br />
of the new members<br />
Evan Antoine Mazen Kerbaj<br />
Mr. Mazen Antoine Kerbaj and his wife Mrs. Diana (formerly Ayyoub) were<br />
blessed with a newborn boy - their first - named Evan Antoine (Trad Hospital)<br />
Tasha Roger Ghoreyyeb<br />
Roger Ghoreyyeb and his wife Katia (formerly Haddad) are pleased to<br />
announce the birth of their first daughter, named Tasha, born 3/2/2001 (St.<br />
Georges Hospital, Beirut)<br />
People<br />
The Hanin Family Association<br />
Evan Antoine Mazen Kerbaj<br />
Mr. Mazen Antoine Kerbaj and his wife Mrs. Diana (formerly Ayyoub) were<br />
blessed with a newborn boy - their first - named Evan Antoine (Trad Hospital)<br />
Tasha Roger Ghoreyyeb<br />
Roger Ghoreyyeb and his wife Katia (formerly Haddad) are pleased to<br />
announce the birth of their first daughter, named Tasha, born 3/2/2001 (St.<br />
Georges Hospital, Beirut)<br />
People<br />
The Hanin Family Association<br />
Evan Antoine Mazen Kerbaj<br />
Mr. Mazen Antoine Kerbaj and his wife Mrs. Diana (formerly Ayyoub) were<br />
blessed with a newborn boy - their first - named Evan Antoine (Trad Hospital)<br />
Tasha Roger Ghoreyyeb<br />
Roger Ghoreyyeb and his wife Katia (formerly Haddad) are pleased to<br />
announce the birth of their first daughter, named Tasha, born 3/2/2001 (St.<br />
Georges Hospital, Beirut)<br />
People<br />
The Hanin Family Association<br />
Evan Antoine Mazen Kerbaj<br />
Mr. Mazen Antoine Kerbaj and his wife Mrs. Diana (formerly Ayyoub) were<br />
blessed with a newborn boy - their first - named Evan Antoine (Trad Hospital)<br />
Tasha Roger Ghoreyyeb<br />
Roger Ghoreyyeb and his wife Katia (formerly Haddad) are pleased to<br />
announce the birth of their first daughter, named Tasha, born 3/2/2001 (St.<br />
Georges Hospital, Beirut)<br />
People<br />
The Hanin Family Association<br />
Evan Antoine Mazen Kerbaj<br />
Mr. Mazen Antoine Kerbaj and his wife Mrs. Diana (formerly Ayyoub) were<br />
blessed with a newborn boy - their first - named Evan Antoine (Trad Hospital)<br />
Tasha Roger Ghoreyyeb<br />
Roger Ghoreyyeb and his wife Katia (formerly Haddad) are pleased to<br />
announce the birth of their first daughter, named Tasha, born 3/2/2001 (St.<br />
Georges Hospital, Beirut)
People<br />
Evan Antoine Mazen Kerbaj<br />
Mr. Mazen Antoine Kerbaj and his wife Mrs. Diana (formerly Ayyoub) were blessed<br />
with a newborn boy - their first<br />
People<br />
Evan Antoine Mazen Kerbaj<br />
Mr. Mazen Antoine Kerbaj and his wife Mrs. Diana (formerly Ayyoub) were<br />
blessed with a newborn boy - their first - named Evan Antoine (Trad Hospital)<br />
Tasha Roger Ghoreyyeb<br />
Roger Ghoreyyeb and his wife Katia (formerly Haddad) are pleased to<br />
announce the birth of their first daughter, named Tasha, born 3/2/2001 (St.<br />
Georges Hospital, Beirut)<br />
People?<br />
van Antoine Mazen Kerbaj<br />
Mr. Mazen Antoine Kerbaj and his wife Mrs. Diana (formerly Ayyoub) were blessed<br />
with a newborn boy - their first<br />
People<br />
Evan Antoine Mazen Kerbaj<br />
Mr. Mazen Antoine Kerbaj and his wife Mrs. Diana (formerly Ayyoub) were<br />
blessed with a newborn boy - their first<br />
Who CARES ABOUT<br />
People?<br />
People?<br />
Antoine Mazen Kerbaj<br />
Antoine Mazen Kerbaj<br />
Antoine Mazen Kerbaj<br />
WHO CARES ABOUT<br />
People?<br />
Antoine Mazen Kerbaj
Antoine Mazen Kerbaj<br />
Antoine Mazen Kerbaj<br />
The first generation<br />
The first generation<br />
Antoine Kerbaj<br />
Antoine Mazen Kerbaj<br />
The first generation<br />
The first generation<br />
OR<br />
Antoine Kerbaj<br />
Antoine Kerbaj<br />
The first generation<br />
the father<br />
Antoine Kerbaj<br />
The first generation<br />
OR<br />
Antoine Kerbaj
The first generation<br />
the father<br />
Antoine Kerbaj<br />
The first generation<br />
the father<br />
Antoine Kerbaj<br />
and then<br />
1975<br />
BEGINNING OF THE WAr<br />
in lebanon<br />
1975<br />
1975<br />
the WAr<br />
BEGINNING OF THE WAr<br />
in lebanon<br />
1975<br />
1975<br />
the WAr<br />
the WAr<br />
1975<br />
1975
the WAr<br />
the WAr<br />
1975<br />
1975<br />
the WAr<br />
the WAr<br />
1975<br />
1975<br />
the WAr<br />
the WAr<br />
1975<br />
1975<br />
The second generation<br />
the WAr<br />
1975<br />
And Also<br />
A Birth<br />
the WAr<br />
1975<br />
And Also
The second generation<br />
The second generation<br />
the WAr?<br />
the WAr<br />
1975<br />
The second generation<br />
The second generation<br />
the WAr?<br />
the WAr?<br />
The second generation<br />
The second generation<br />
the WAr?<br />
the WAr?<br />
The second generation<br />
The second generation<br />
WHY<br />
WAr?<br />
the WAr?
The second generation<br />
The second generation<br />
WHY is this joint going out?<br />
why?<br />
The second generation<br />
The second generation<br />
the joint’s gone out<br />
the joint’s going out<br />
The second generation<br />
The second generation<br />
the joint’s gone out<br />
The second generation<br />
The second generation
The second generation<br />
People<br />
The second generation<br />
People<br />
Tasha Roger Ghoreyyeb<br />
The second generation<br />
Evan Antoine Mazen Kerbaj<br />
The second generation<br />
People<br />
Evan Antoine Mazen Kerbaj<br />
Mr. Mazen Antoine Kerbaj and his wife Mrs. Diana (formerly Ayyoub) were<br />
blessed with a newborn boy - their first - named Evan Antoine (Trad Hospital)<br />
Tasha Roger Ghoreyyeb<br />
Roger Ghoreyyeb and his wife Katia (formerly Haddad) are pleased to<br />
announce the birth of their first daughter, named Tasha, born 3/2/2001 (St.<br />
Georges Hospital, Beirut)<br />
Mazen Kerbaj<br />
The second generation<br />
THE SON<br />
Mazen Kerbaj<br />
Mazen Kerbaj<br />
Mazen Kerbaj
THE adventures of<br />
Beirut<br />
Mazen Kerbaj<br />
IN<br />
Beirut<br />
and<br />
mini market abu koko<br />
Beirut<br />
Beirut<br />
and<br />
AT SUNSET<br />
mini market abu koko<br />
and<br />
AT SUNSET<br />
mini market abu koko<br />
Beirut<br />
Beirut<br />
and<br />
AT SUNSET<br />
so<br />
and<br />
AT SUNSET<br />
mini market abu koko<br />
Beirut<br />
Beirut
and<br />
AT SUNSET<br />
so, then<br />
in<br />
Beirut<br />
and<br />
AT SUNSET<br />
so, then<br />
Beirut<br />
and<br />
AT SUNSET<br />
so, then<br />
in<br />
and<br />
Beirut<br />
and<br />
AT SUNSET<br />
so, then<br />
in<br />
and<br />
Beirut<br />
and<br />
AT SUNSET<br />
so, then<br />
in<br />
and<br />
and<br />
AT SUNSET<br />
so, then<br />
in<br />
and<br />
and<br />
AT SUNSET<br />
so, then<br />
in<br />
and<br />
and<br />
AT SUNSET<br />
so, then<br />
in<br />
and
and<br />
AT SUNSET<br />
so, then<br />
in<br />
and<br />
and<br />
AT SUNSET<br />
so, then<br />
in<br />
and<br />
and<br />
AT SUNSET<br />
so, then<br />
in<br />
and<br />
and<br />
AT SUNSET<br />
so, then<br />
in<br />
and<br />
and<br />
and<br />
in<br />
and<br />
then<br />
in<br />
and<br />
The Third generation<br />
The Third generation<br />
and<br />
in<br />
and
The Third generation<br />
The Third generation<br />
The Third generation<br />
THE SON’s Son<br />
The Third generation<br />
The Third generation<br />
THE SON’s Son<br />
Evan Kerbaj<br />
The Third generation<br />
THE SON’s Son<br />
Evan Antoine Mazen Kerbaj<br />
Mr. Mazen Antoine Kerbaj and his wife Mrs. Diana (formerly Ayyoub) were<br />
blessed with a newborn boy - their first - named Evan Antoine (Trad Hospital)<br />
The Third generation<br />
THE SON’s Son<br />
Evan Kerbaj<br />
I draw better than you do<br />
The Third generation<br />
THE SON’s Son<br />
Evan Kerbaj
The Third generation<br />
THE SON’s Son<br />
Evan Kerbaj<br />
The Third generation<br />
THE SON’s Son<br />
Evan Kerbaj<br />
AND AFTER THAT<br />
The Third generation<br />
Evan Kerbaj<br />
AND then<br />
AND then<br />
the father<br />
and the son<br />
and the son’s son<br />
AND then<br />
the father<br />
and the son<br />
and the son’s son<br />
AND then<br />
the father<br />
and the son<br />
and the son’s son<br />
we come<br />
to<br />
we come<br />
to<br />
THE END
AND after<br />
AND after<br />
THE END?<br />
THE END?<br />
AND after<br />
AND after<br />
THE END?<br />
THE END?<br />
after<br />
AND after<br />
THE END<br />
THE END?<br />
after<br />
after<br />
THE END<br />
THE END<br />
we return to
after<br />
after<br />
THE END<br />
THE END<br />
we return to<br />
we return to<br />
the beginning<br />
and after<br />
after<br />
THE END?<br />
THE END<br />
and after<br />
and after?<br />
THE END?<br />
THE END<br />
and after<br />
and after?<br />
THE END?<br />
THE END
The Third generation<br />
THE SON’s Son<br />
and THEN<br />
Evan Kerbaj<br />
THE adventures of<br />
Mazen Kerbaj<br />
IN<br />
Beirut<br />
and<br />
AT SUNSET<br />
so, then<br />
in<br />
and<br />
the WAr<br />
The SECONd generation<br />
THE SON<br />
MAZEN Kerbaj<br />
1975<br />
People and Places<br />
The Hanin Family Association<br />
Held a meeting on 16/12/2000 at the St. Georges Cathedral in Hadath in order to<br />
elect new board members. After the election, positions were assigned to each<br />
of the new members<br />
Evan Antoine Mazen Kerbaj<br />
Mr. Mazen Antoine Kerbaj and his wife Mrs. Diana (formerly Ayyoub) were<br />
blessed with a newborn boy - their first - named Evan Antoine (Trad Hospital)<br />
Tasha Roger Ghoreyyeb<br />
Roger Ghoreyyeb and his wife Katia (formerly Haddad) are pleased to<br />
announce the birth of their first daughter, named Tasha, born 3/2/2001 (St.<br />
Georges Hospital, Beirut)<br />
The FIRST generation<br />
THE FATHER<br />
ANTOINE Kerbaj
The beginning<br />
People and Places<br />
Evan Antoine Mazen Kerbaj<br />
Mr. Mazen Antoine Kerbaj and his wife Mrs. Diana (formerly<br />
Ayyoub) were blessed with a newborn boy - their first - named<br />
Evan Antoine (Trad Hospital)<br />
Tasha Roger Ghoreyyeb<br />
Roger Ghoreyyeb and his wife Katia (formerly Haddad) are<br />
pleased to announce the birth of their first daughter, named<br />
Tasha, born 3/2/2001 (St. Georges Hospital, Beirut)<br />
In<br />
The beginning<br />
Evan Antoine Mazen Kerbaj<br />
Ghoreyyeb<br />
The beginning<br />
Evan Antoine Mazen Kerbaj<br />
Tasha Rog Ghoreyyeb<br />
In<br />
The beginning<br />
And<br />
Before<br />
Each<br />
Of<br />
The father<br />
Evan Antoine Mazen Kerbaj<br />
Ghoreyyeb<br />
In<br />
The beginning<br />
And<br />
Before<br />
Each<br />
Of<br />
Evan Antoine Mazen Kerbaj<br />
Ghoreyyeb<br />
In<br />
The beginning<br />
And<br />
Before<br />
Each<br />
Of<br />
The father<br />
And<br />
The son<br />
AND THE SON’S SON<br />
Evan Antoine Mazen Kerbaj<br />
Ghoreyyeb<br />
In<br />
The beginning<br />
And<br />
Before<br />
Each<br />
Of<br />
The father<br />
And<br />
The son<br />
Evan Antoine Mazen Kerbaj<br />
Ghoreyyeb
The beginning<br />
Evan Antoine Mazen Kerbaj<br />
AND THE SILVER SCREEN GODDESS<br />
LAURE Ghoreyyeb<br />
Of<br />
In<br />
The beginning<br />
And Before Each Of<br />
The father<br />
And The son<br />
And The son’S SON<br />
Was<br />
the artist the woman the mother<br />
Evan Antoine Mazen Kerbaj<br />
Ghoreyyeb<br />
The beginning<br />
The beginning<br />
LAURE Ghoreyyeb<br />
Of<br />
LAURE Ghoreyyeb<br />
Of<br />
The beginning<br />
LAURE Ghoreyyeb<br />
Of<br />
LAURE Ghoreyyeb<br />
Of<br />
TOOOT<br />
TOOOT
TOOOT<br />
TOOOT<br />
TOOOT<br />
TOOOT<br />
TOOOT<br />
TOOOT<br />
TOOOT
And no matter how much we try to push it away…
THE END
y elyse tabet
Salon Tareq el Khurafi<br />
BY OMAR KHOURY
Read in this direction<br />
*<br />
Tarek el Khurafi’s Barbershop<br />
*<br />
Thanks<br />
for the<br />
cut, man.<br />
See ya.<br />
Bye.<br />
Take<br />
care of<br />
yourself,<br />
Asad.<br />
sorry
I am<br />
indeed.<br />
How may I<br />
help you?<br />
Are<br />
you Mr.<br />
Tarek el-<br />
Khurafi?<br />
STOP.<br />
IDENTIFICATION<br />
PLEASE.<br />
AND THE<br />
CONTENTS<br />
OF YOUR<br />
POCKETS.<br />
SEARCH<br />
THE<br />
PREMISES!<br />
WE HAVE RECEIVED<br />
WORD THAT YOU<br />
ARE IN THE<br />
BUSINESS OF<br />
MANUFACTURING<br />
AND DISTRIBUTING<br />
IMAGINARY ARTI–<br />
FACTS TO THE<br />
PUBLIC FROM<br />
THIS LOCATION.<br />
*<br />
*<br />
Ish<br />
* Mental Security Forces:<br />
*<br />
Investigation Bureau<br />
AND A PACK<br />
OF CEDARS<br />
CIGARETTEs<br />
SIR, ALL HE HAS<br />
IS 7,000 LIRA<br />
Certainly,<br />
we all<br />
agree<br />
AS WE ALL<br />
AGREE<br />
THAT SUCH<br />
THINGS DO<br />
NOT EXIST<br />
AND HAVE<br />
NO PLACE<br />
IN REALITY…
Examine<br />
it<br />
Yes<br />
sir<br />
As I was saying, as these<br />
things do not in fact<br />
exist, there can also<br />
be no law which exists<br />
to prohibit them. And<br />
yet if these allegations<br />
directed against you turn<br />
out to be true, we can<br />
conclude two things:<br />
Teet<br />
Teet<br />
Click<br />
Click<br />
Tik<br />
Click<br />
Clack!<br />
Clack!
Click<br />
Shick<br />
Shick<br />
Clack<br />
Shick!<br />
Firstly, that you<br />
are earning your<br />
wages through<br />
the deception of<br />
your customers,<br />
by selling items<br />
under false<br />
pretenses.<br />
Click<br />
Click<br />
Click<br />
Click<br />
Click<br />
Click<br />
lick<br />
Pull<br />
Click<br />
Pull<br />
Ish<br />
And secondly, that<br />
you are aiding in the<br />
corruption of the<br />
citizenry through the<br />
encouragement of<br />
escapist, individualistic<br />
thought, which<br />
distracts the populace<br />
from their duties to<br />
society.<br />
Teet!
May I remind you, Mr. Khurafi…<br />
Very well. Take a<br />
sample for closer<br />
inspection in the lab,<br />
take note of his<br />
particulars and let<br />
him go.<br />
Sir, these seem<br />
like regular<br />
cigarettes<br />
I can<br />
assure<br />
you, my<br />
boy,<br />
That you may also<br />
be burdening your<br />
innocent customers<br />
with unnecessary<br />
trouble.<br />
… that this is just a<br />
rumor started by the<br />
other barbers in the area<br />
to steal my customers<br />
We will<br />
take our<br />
leave<br />
then<br />
Nothing<br />
here<br />
Nothing in<br />
this room<br />
All shaving<br />
equipment<br />
And<br />
nothing in<br />
the storage<br />
area outside
We hope for your sake<br />
that you have given us the<br />
truth, for we guarantee<br />
we will find out if you<br />
have been lying.<br />
*<br />
*<br />
Ish<br />
Shclack!<br />
Hmm?<br />
You’re<br />
mine!<br />
Double<br />
3.
Excuse me.<br />
Can you<br />
help me<br />
out for a<br />
second?<br />
DOM
*<br />
**<br />
*<br />
*<br />
**<br />
The Nation is Our Face<br />
Public parking
*<br />
*<br />
The Face is a blessing from the gods…<br />
Religious Freedom Party
*<br />
*<br />
malek
Malek<br />
*<br />
*<br />
Malek<br />
Zzzzzzzzzzzip<br />
Stack!<br />
Stack!
Knock<br />
knock<br />
knock<br />
DOM<br />
Just a<br />
second!
Lulwa?<br />
Ziiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii<br />
clack<br />
tshak<br />
Can we<br />
talk?<br />
Are you<br />
busy?<br />
What are<br />
you doing<br />
here?<br />
Hi
Ok.<br />
Sure.<br />
Come in.<br />
Um…
You can put<br />
your stuff down<br />
there, behind<br />
the desk.
Through the<br />
right there,<br />
first door on<br />
your left.<br />
Where’s the<br />
bathroom?<br />
Clack
You wanna<br />
drink<br />
anything?<br />
Apple juice?<br />
7-up? I<br />
can make<br />
coffee…<br />
Flushshsh<br />
click<br />
No, wait. I<br />
brought you<br />
something<br />
that might<br />
help a little<br />
more.<br />
You remember the first time we got drunk? When Abu Raymond<br />
found us between his barrels of Arak, totally wasted…<br />
Here’s<br />
to Abu<br />
Raymond.<br />
He couldn’t<br />
believe<br />
that you of<br />
all people<br />
would do<br />
such a thing
Tink<br />
Listen,<br />
Sura,<br />
I…<br />
But I<br />
still<br />
consider<br />
you my<br />
closest<br />
friend.<br />
I know<br />
we didn’t<br />
leave off<br />
on the<br />
best of<br />
terms
I need to find a place to live. I’ve got money,<br />
I just don’t know this city too well. I don’t<br />
know anyone here but you.<br />
If you can recommend a good, clean hotel that’s not too expensive<br />
Just until<br />
I find an<br />
apartment<br />
or a room<br />
somewhere.<br />
Did you<br />
guys have<br />
a fight?<br />
So: what<br />
happened?<br />
Lulwa, you’ve got a<br />
suitcase and not much<br />
else. I know your<br />
parents, they’d never<br />
send you off on your<br />
own without any help.<br />
What<br />
do you<br />
mean?<br />
Can I at<br />
least<br />
ask what<br />
happened<br />
first?<br />
It was<br />
almost<br />
three years<br />
ago…<br />
My<br />
parents…<br />
We were on<br />
our way to<br />
school.<br />
It was<br />
raining<br />
really<br />
hard
My<br />
parents…<br />
I got<br />
wedged<br />
between<br />
the two<br />
seats.<br />
I didn’t<br />
really<br />
get what<br />
happened<br />
until after<br />
the funeral.<br />
Broke three<br />
ribs and a<br />
collarbone.
ziiiii
to be continued
Read in this direction<br />
Vienna 1920<br />
Dhour Choueir 1982<br />
Jam and Yogurt<br />
One day in July…<br />
(or how my mom became Lebanese)<br />
COME INSIDE!!!<br />
BOOM<br />
I heard a loud explosion<br />
Vienna 1943<br />
Berlin 1956<br />
My mom rushed<br />
us down the stairs,<br />
counting us along<br />
the way: one, two,<br />
three, four, five.<br />
Are they<br />
going to<br />
kill us<br />
????!!!!<br />
...<br />
Beirut 1982<br />
Karlvary 1920
Stop<br />
crying,<br />
it’s pointless!<br />
I have to<br />
go get<br />
milk<br />
We stayed on the<br />
stairs for 8 hours<br />
Every Friday, I go to my mom’s and sit with her.<br />
I’m going<br />
up!<br />
Takes her glasses off<br />
She puts her papers aside<br />
As usual, whether I’ve eaten or<br />
not, Noura brings me a plate of<br />
rice and curry<br />
What did<br />
you eat?<br />
And asks me:<br />
She was very angry<br />
Thank<br />
you!
Then<br />
complains<br />
Then smiles<br />
and talks<br />
But when I ask her about her past, she...<br />
Then<br />
complains<br />
Smiles and<br />
talks<br />
What did you<br />
do today?<br />
And says<br />
My mom settles herself<br />
in on the couch<br />
Why the<br />
interrogation?<br />
Why the<br />
interrogation?<br />
And then smiles and talks...<br />
I’m unhappy that you don’t<br />
want to call your cousin’s<br />
grandfather’s cousin!<br />
If I say “the usual”, all hell breaks loose…<br />
YOU HAVE TO CALL<br />
YOUR GRANDFATHER’S<br />
COUSIN’S NEPHEW’S<br />
UNCLE!<br />
It would be<br />
nice if you called the<br />
son of your uncle’s<br />
grandfather’s niece!<br />
If I ask her how she is, she tells me a rambling story with no beginning and no end<br />
...<br />
...<br />
...
Vienna 1961<br />
Berlin, 1960<br />
She went to medical school in Vienna and worked as a nurse at the Wilhencinenspital Hospital<br />
It was love at first sight<br />
She was alone<br />
And her walks<br />
her dog<br />
She forgot the sweets<br />
And she learnt Arabic for Ali<br />
Say: oh cream! Oh<br />
honey! I can’t live<br />
without you<br />
How do I say<br />
Ish liebe dish<br />
in Arabic?<br />
She rejected quite a few suitors…<br />
Her teacher was Egyptian…<br />
Then Ali told her he had to marry an Oriental woman<br />
And kept thinking about<br />
the man who had filled<br />
her heart with warmth…
Mariahilfer Strasse 1962<br />
Stephansplatz 1958<br />
Our house overlooks the Military Club<br />
Mulla Street 1970<br />
Dinnawi Street<br />
1979<br />
Ma’arad Street<br />
1989<br />
Mar Elias Street<br />
1994<br />
*<br />
* Taxi<br />
Jounieh 1982<br />
*Sinno<br />
*<br />
Ardati Street 1973<br />
In 1982, it overlooked the Israel battleships in Jounieh bay<br />
Ardati Street 1996<br />
And to swim on the<br />
bathroom floor<br />
I learnt to cut things<br />
with my sister Yasmine<br />
In this house, I<br />
learnt to count<br />
Harf al-Dayr
She showed us where it was - and we<br />
saw it for the first time - in 1992, since<br />
the road had been blocked before that.<br />
She came to Lebanon in 1967, and worked<br />
as a pediatrician at the German hospital<br />
facing the St. George hotel<br />
I’ve often tried to ask her more about that period<br />
At the time, he was supposed to marry his<br />
older and younger brothers’ wives’ sister<br />
She met her first husband through mutual<br />
friends<br />
And every time, she replies:<br />
How could you<br />
have forgotten<br />
the cardboard<br />
box you slept in?<br />
But all I remember is a wooden bed<br />
In this way, she entered the Arabist intellectual society<br />
One day, my mom came back from the hospital,<br />
and we had to be quiet, because the babies in<br />
her tummy were dead.<br />
and a dream I woke up from screaming:<br />
Give me a<br />
stream of<br />
water!<br />
And chose Beirut as the place to live out her dreams.<br />
Since that day in summer 1982, we haven’t heard of Karim and Karma
She had three beautiful children, and died<br />
of cancer in 1981.<br />
She met her friend through her<br />
husband. She was a beautiful woman<br />
Who died from a tooth infection due to a lack<br />
of antibiotics, according to my mom<br />
She named me after my<br />
grandmother, her mom.<br />
Her wedding dress,<br />
which is now in one<br />
of a pile of bags in the<br />
attic, was purple<br />
Particularly after my<br />
sister Mona’s twin died<br />
I remember that she<br />
always wore purple<br />
and works at the<br />
public library.<br />
Her daughter got married at a church<br />
near the museum in 1992.<br />
And the boys are in France<br />
She always turned her grief into anger that (which) drove her to work<br />
My mom loved her so much that she named<br />
her daughter after her.<br />
Come on<br />
Mona!<br />
We crossed over to the East to visit them<br />
many times, when the roads were blocked.<br />
I’ll shell some<br />
seeds for you!<br />
But today she has an eye disease that keeps her from working
In 1974, her husband passed away, so she started a daycare center for her three children.<br />
This daycare center was one of the first in Musseitbeh<br />
I sometimes go with her to the clinic at the American University Hospital<br />
So, her acquaintances<br />
grew…<br />
hello doctor!<br />
how are you?<br />
Good<br />
morning<br />
Good<br />
morning<br />
hi doctor<br />
*<br />
Salwa Merhej and her<br />
grand-daughter, Mireille<br />
Marie Rose Boulos and<br />
her son Paul<br />
The nurses and doctors all say hello, and sometimes the patients do too<br />
How are<br />
the kids?<br />
Have they<br />
started<br />
school?<br />
How are<br />
the kids?<br />
Have they<br />
started<br />
school?<br />
And her second husband,<br />
my dad.<br />
*<br />
Jumblatt, Karami, Berri, Gemayel<br />
After that, we walk home down Hamra street, and I ask her questions…
I think she went through something similar, and she tried all the hairdos Lebanese women wore.<br />
As a teenager, she chopped<br />
her hair off<br />
When she was a bit older,<br />
she wrapped them around<br />
her head<br />
As a girl, she had pigtails<br />
I’ve seriously tried to understand what my father means when he says:<br />
I should always remind<br />
myself that I didn’t marry<br />
an Oriental woman<br />
It’s 7:30, do<br />
you want<br />
anything?<br />
I’m going<br />
And as the kidnapping of<br />
foreigners increased, she<br />
dyed it brown<br />
In the eighties, she grew it<br />
down past her shoulders<br />
When she came<br />
to Lebanon, it was<br />
really short<br />
I tried to separate the Oriental and the Western in her by comparing her to “Oriental” mothers<br />
And she works a lot<br />
She gets angry in a<br />
flash<br />
She invents inedible<br />
meals<br />
My mother sometimes uses<br />
a strange language when<br />
she talks on the phone<br />
Which brought out the<br />
color and shine of her eyes<br />
After that, I thought hard about how to get rid of the “foreign” features of my face<br />
highlights french manicure Lenses<br />
High-heeled boots<br />
Till now, I haven’t discovered the exact elements of the Lebanese look<br />
I never understood what he<br />
means by Oriental woman<br />
Social<br />
chitchat<br />
and gossip?<br />
Coffee and<br />
cigarettes?<br />
Black<br />
eyes?<br />
Obedience?<br />
Dancing?<br />
Painted<br />
toenails?<br />
...Later, she told me the story of how she had resolved this East-West<br />
problem, and that it had endangered her life.
My mother stayed in our home on the Corniche<br />
And Reem:<br />
Watches Lena and<br />
Mona<br />
Mona:<br />
Feeds Tommy<br />
Yasmine:<br />
Prepares food *<br />
Lena:<br />
Throws out<br />
the trash<br />
Omar:<br />
Hangs laundry<br />
out to dry<br />
*cake or donuts every day, crepes or burgers or spaghetti with pine-nuts and yogurt once a week<br />
And learnt how to cook and other traditions from her mother-in-law, who stayed and helped her.<br />
And planted geraniums and hortensias<br />
on the balcony<br />
She decorated her home with glass fish<br />
*<br />
Meanwhile, my dad would be thinking<br />
My mom would be at the clinic at 7:30 every morning<br />
* Gemayel, Karami, Jumblatt, Berri<br />
*<br />
Now, at 7:30 a.m., she sits in her armchair and calls us, one after the other.<br />
*<br />
Geagea, Berri, Aoun, Jumblatt<br />
She ran the house like a tight ship whose engine was: us
Hello...Good morning! Did I wake you up?!<br />
First, she calls Tony, my brother-in-law<br />
Toot...tooot…<br />
Hello L..Mon...O...Yas...Reem! Yasmine!<br />
Yeah, hi mom. How are you?<br />
Are you still at home? Why don’t you just shut<br />
the school down? What’s the use?<br />
Toot….tooot…<br />
It’s alright, I’m up now. How are you?<br />
Toot...toot…<br />
Hello...Lena...How are you? Are you still asleep? Ooh, sorry<br />
sorry...we’ve missed you…<br />
Hi mom, what’s up? I saw you yesterday!<br />
Yeah..Hi...What are you doing?<br />
Toot...toot…<br />
I’m tired, wiped out and overworked...come over for a visit…<br />
Toot...toot…<br />
Mom...it’s still early<br />
Do I have to remind you every day that there’s an hour<br />
time difference?<br />
Hi Mona. How are you...what?<br />
Did you go to university today?<br />
(To be continued)
y Farah Nehme
I’VE OFTEN HEARD OF THE “FIRST KISS”, WHICH I’VE NEVER HAD<br />
PEOPLE INSIST UPON THE EVENT’S ORIGINALITY…<br />
...AND THAT IT LEAVES A STEAMY MEMORY AND INDELIBLE MARK ON THE LIPS…
The big day<br />
Propelled by my steroid hormones<br />
And guided by common sense<br />
I wanted to make an amorous conquest<br />
on the eve of my 20th birthday<br />
Like all those vamps<br />
Towards that end, I had been through<br />
my list of old flames<br />
In order to stave off any possible failure
This night has to be lucky<br />
Or I’ll force it to become lucky<br />
We had cigarettes<br />
Cheese sticks<br />
And beer<br />
The fourth bottle successfully put my conscience to sleep
Two days after that famous night<br />
I don’t know if I stole it or if it was a kiss based<br />
on mutual accord and shared desire<br />
All that remains is the tentative euphoria of an<br />
uncertain glory...if not a missed opportunity.
In the Taxi, by Barrak Rima<br />
I read<br />
somewhere<br />
that we<br />
were the<br />
city’s<br />
memory...<br />
tweet<br />
tweet<br />
This is just<br />
a claim, of<br />
course...<br />
Mmm…<br />
where’s<br />
the<br />
road<br />
to<br />
Tripoli<br />
tweet<br />
Good.<br />
Let’s be<br />
clear:<br />
Mmm…<br />
All we do is<br />
wander the<br />
streets pushing<br />
these carriages<br />
of books<br />
around...<br />
Mmm…<br />
Hello. I need<br />
forks, plates and<br />
coffee cups.<br />
One minute.<br />
He’s checking<br />
his anthropology<br />
book.<br />
Knives and<br />
spoons too...<br />
Mmm…<br />
Easy.<br />
Easy.
You’ll find those at a<br />
peddler’s in Tripoli...<br />
Right. It’s a<br />
fact that to<br />
be loaded with<br />
books is to be<br />
loaded with<br />
memory...<br />
Mmm…<br />
However..<br />
Hey!<br />
What a<br />
relief!<br />
What year did<br />
Sultan Qalaoun<br />
order the city<br />
to be razed?<br />
Take a<br />
look in the<br />
Medicine<br />
book.<br />
A long<br />
time ago.<br />
Aaaah!<br />
Interesting!<br />
Easy...<br />
As I was saying…<br />
I SELL FORKS!<br />
I SELL<br />
PLATES!<br />
I SELL<br />
KNIVES AND<br />
SPOONS!<br />
I SELL CUUUUPSS<br />
OOOOOOOF...<br />
Coffee!
There’s a customer<br />
waiting for you at the<br />
end of Mina street in<br />
Tripoli<br />
Ah..<br />
interesting<br />
What a<br />
relief!<br />
Ouf!<br />
I have a<br />
question<br />
Do you know how to cure a poet-cyclist<br />
who teaches pre-Islamic Arabic poetry<br />
and occasionally drives a cab of<br />
indifference?<br />
Too easy...<br />
INCURABLE!<br />
Shit!<br />
The poor<br />
man!<br />
Sell!<br />
I sell!<br />
I SELL!<br />
I SELL CUUUUPS OF<br />
COFFEE!<br />
Shit!<br />
It’s time<br />
for a<br />
break.<br />
Ouf!<br />
The claim as I<br />
was saying is<br />
that we are the<br />
city’s itinerant<br />
memory.<br />
Mmm…<br />
Here for example,<br />
this book confirms<br />
my theory by which...<br />
Excuse...Our<br />
break will soon<br />
be over.<br />
Ah, yes...
I was<br />
saying…<br />
I had a dream..<br />
The city had<br />
stopped growing.<br />
No. It had grown<br />
younger.<br />
And...<br />
My mother had<br />
been cured of<br />
her incurable<br />
illness. She<br />
too had grown<br />
younger.<br />
And my grandfather<br />
was fixing a portrait<br />
I had made of him.<br />
What a<br />
weird<br />
dream!<br />
Mmm…<br />
We learn<br />
something<br />
new every<br />
day, right?<br />
Mmm…<br />
So, as<br />
I was<br />
saying..<br />
Look<br />
here!
I don’t know what<br />
to ask today…<br />
There’s everything:<br />
Anthropology, sociology, art<br />
history, politics, mathematics,<br />
cinema, comics…<br />
What are<br />
comics?<br />
Easy,<br />
easy!<br />
Look it up in<br />
the cooking<br />
book...<br />
A pleasurable activity<br />
that can nevertheless<br />
give those who practice<br />
it an incurable<br />
sense of guilt…<br />
THAT’S IT!<br />
I HAVE A<br />
QUESTION!<br />
How do we say<br />
boiled in French?<br />
“cuit”<br />
Truly<br />
simple!<br />
Mmm…<br />
In my dream, I<br />
too had gotten<br />
younger.<br />
“cuit”<br />
Really?<br />
(cui)<br />
And I was trying to<br />
find the road back<br />
to Mina, in Tripoli.<br />
What a truly bizarre dream!<br />
Look it up in the Study<br />
of the Wandering<br />
Researcher...<br />
This story<br />
has no end.<br />
Cui<br />
cui<br />
It’s weird, I<br />
can’t find a<br />
thing about it..<br />
Mmm…
Abu Nouhad..<br />
I’m going<br />
to draw<br />
your<br />
portrait!<br />
This isn’t<br />
Abu Nouhad<br />
This is<br />
Abou Nouhad<br />
With only three strokes, Abu Nouhad had<br />
managed to make his portrait look like him.
Since then, Abu Nouhad went<br />
away and his portrait was lost.
Downtown, near the<br />
Ottoman clock. Take the<br />
sea route, please.<br />
*<br />
*<br />
TAXI where are we going?
After Beirut, Beirut<br />
and the memory of<br />
Beirut, I decided to<br />
return to Mina, Tripoli.
Character<br />
I was born here, in the<br />
backseat of a group<br />
taxicab on the sea road.<br />
There was already some<br />
tension brewing among the<br />
passengers before they<br />
got to Mina, where the<br />
driver asked:<br />
Driver<br />
What route should I<br />
take, the sea road<br />
or the land one?<br />
I have to make up my mind<br />
(fast) (but) all the same,<br />
choose my words and my<br />
direction carefully...<br />
Narrator:<br />
since the<br />
passengers had<br />
already fought<br />
over the music<br />
Sea!<br />
Land!<br />
Sea!<br />
Land!<br />
They had<br />
hardly left<br />
downtown<br />
(near the<br />
Ottoman<br />
clock),<br />
when:<br />
Someone<br />
asked:<br />
Drrrrrivvvverrrr<br />
don’t you have<br />
any musiiiiiiic?<br />
Donnnn’t<br />
yoooou?<br />
The driver<br />
hardly had<br />
time to<br />
answer<br />
before.<br />
Yes!<br />
tunes!<br />
Inta Omri by<br />
Um Kulthoum<br />
...<br />
or<br />
Chantal<br />
Goya..<br />
Please<br />
don’t play<br />
Tchaikovsky<br />
Are you nuts?<br />
I’d prefer<br />
some<br />
Farid el-<br />
Atrache<br />
Demis<br />
Roussos<br />
Do<br />
That seems<br />
atrocious.<br />
Charles Aznavour<br />
Boney M<br />
Bob<br />
Jean<br />
Jacques<br />
Goldmann<br />
Julio<br />
Iglesias<br />
Sabah<br />
Claude<br />
Not<br />
Euh<br />
Francois<br />
him! ?<br />
Madona<br />
Sisi<br />
Shakira<br />
Haifa<br />
Wahbi<br />
Najwa<br />
Karam<br />
Assi<br />
Hellani<br />
Wadih<br />
Safi<br />
Fairouz<br />
Souma<br />
Abdel Wahab<br />
No! Asmahan<br />
Elvis<br />
Abba<br />
Tina Turner<br />
Amr<br />
Diab<br />
Michael<br />
Jackson<br />
Abdel<br />
Halim Hafez<br />
fifi<br />
Abdo<br />
Ya leyli<br />
ya ein*<br />
Edith<br />
Piaff<br />
* singing
*<br />
* dancing Tripoli<br />
Nawal<br />
Al Zoghbi<br />
Kazem<br />
El Saher<br />
Fares<br />
Karam<br />
Nancy<br />
Ajram<br />
Diana<br />
Haddad<br />
Elissa<br />
Amal<br />
Hijazi<br />
Melhem<br />
Barrakat<br />
Katia<br />
Harb<br />
Walid<br />
Toufic<br />
Nelly<br />
Makdissi<br />
Alaa<br />
Zalzali<br />
Ragheb<br />
Alama<br />
Foulla<br />
Issam<br />
Rajji<br />
Shirine<br />
Jo<br />
Achkar<br />
Euh..<br />
Georges<br />
Wassouf<br />
Wael<br />
Kfouri<br />
Samira<br />
Toufic<br />
Carole<br />
Semaha<br />
Maya<br />
Nasri<br />
Suzanne<br />
Tammim<br />
Samira<br />
Said<br />
ka...<br />
ka...ka..<br />
Kazem<br />
Al-Saher!<br />
Wael<br />
Tassar<br />
Jimi<br />
Hendrix<br />
Rouwaida<br />
Atieh<br />
Diana<br />
Karazone<br />
All these<br />
people<br />
are<br />
in the<br />
same<br />
taxicab?
This surplus of<br />
musical demands<br />
among the taxi<br />
passengers could<br />
have set off a<br />
disaster<br />
Had the driver<br />
not found<br />
an intelligent<br />
compromise.<br />
PAROLÉ PAROLÉ PAROLÉ<br />
PAROLÉ PAROLÉ PAROLÉ<br />
PAROLÉ PAROLÉ ET<br />
ENCORE DES PAROLÉ<br />
OUWA<br />
OUWAAAAA-AHA<br />
But a compromise is<br />
only a compromise<br />
and the tension in<br />
the taxi had been<br />
well-established .<br />
box<br />
To these<br />
PAROLES, the<br />
car arrived at<br />
the entrance<br />
of Mina street<br />
The<br />
narrator<br />
returns<br />
Sea? Road?<br />
Sea?<br />
Road?<br />
Sooooooo?<br />
Driiiiiiiiiiiivvvvvverrrrrr?<br />
Sea?<br />
Road?<br />
….<br />
Road?<br />
Or?<br />
Sea?
The driver<br />
decided to take<br />
the sea route.<br />
Despite his careful choice<br />
of words, the driver<br />
couldn’t stop a new<br />
argument<br />
breaking out.<br />
This one was<br />
even more<br />
violent.<br />
I was<br />
born at<br />
that very<br />
moment,<br />
I was born<br />
here, in the<br />
backseat of a<br />
group taxicab<br />
on the sea<br />
road!<br />
A few months later,<br />
a terrible war broke<br />
out in Lebanon.<br />
*<br />
* newspaper cut-outs
Meanwhile, in a taxi…<br />
Ratibée (to Salwa):<br />
Listen my girl, each State has its conditions<br />
(She repeats, weighing her words) each State has its conditions<br />
Ratibée (to Salwa):<br />
For example. The European Union - Schengen - sates<br />
have their conditions: to get political asylum, you have to<br />
prove that you’re a victim of political persecution in your<br />
country and that your life is in danger because of your<br />
political or religious beliefs...or things like this….<br />
Salwa (to Ratibée):<br />
Really?
Ratibée (to Salwa):<br />
And Belgium<br />
But of course there are differences among the Schengen<br />
states, even<br />
Ratibée (to Salwa):<br />
But these states are<br />
trying to unify their laws<br />
on refugees<br />
Ratibée<br />
(to Nassim):<br />
Exactly<br />
Salwa:<br />
Fffff<br />
Nassim (to Ratibée):<br />
To this end,<br />
they organized<br />
a major conference<br />
in Barcelona<br />
Nassim (to Ratibée):<br />
Europe is barricading itself into an inaccessible fortress,<br />
rich but surrounded by a poor and under-developed world<br />
Ratibée (to Nassim):<br />
Yes...They’re protecting themselves from third-world immigration<br />
Nassim (to Ratibée):<br />
And from the Eastern European countries
I was<br />
born in a<br />
taxicab.<br />
Not the kind<br />
where you<br />
pay for all<br />
five seats...<br />
And where<br />
you choose<br />
the start, the<br />
destination and<br />
the route.<br />
No. I was born<br />
in a ‘service’,<br />
or group taxi.<br />
And at the very<br />
moment of my birth,<br />
the passenger<br />
sitting in the back<br />
center seat<br />
made the<br />
following<br />
proclamation:<br />
In a taxicab, a<br />
person is at the<br />
cinema.<br />
To which the<br />
passenger<br />
on his right<br />
enthusiastically<br />
responded:<br />
And the<br />
others<br />
chimed in:<br />
We have<br />
a frame,<br />
We have what is<br />
outside the frame,<br />
The length,<br />
The image<br />
and the<br />
sound.<br />
The passenger<br />
on the left:<br />
I would be<br />
more inclined<br />
to say that<br />
we were at<br />
the theater.<br />
Mmm<br />
At the theater? At the theater? At the theater? At the theater? At the theater? At the theater?
AT<br />
THE<br />
THEA<br />
TER<br />
At the<br />
theater!<br />
At the<br />
theater!<br />
Attention: we’re<br />
at the THEATER!<br />
At the theater!<br />
Yeah?<br />
At the theater!<br />
At the theater!<br />
At the theater!!<br />
Ah<br />
At the theater!<br />
At the<br />
theater!<br />
And<br />
comics?<br />
Mmh<br />
Ah<br />
Ah<br />
At the<br />
theater!<br />
And the<br />
cinema?<br />
And<br />
the<br />
taxicab?<br />
Aaah!<br />
At the<br />
theater!
And this is the<br />
public’s reaction:<br />
What is this<br />
story that has<br />
no beginning<br />
and no end?!<br />
I don’t like<br />
Theater!<br />
Ha<br />
Ha<br />
This story<br />
just drags<br />
on…<br />
Ffff...<br />
Ha ha ha<br />
ha ha ha ha<br />
ha ha haha ha<br />
haha ha<br />
ha ha<br />
I lost the<br />
narrative...<br />
PAROLÉ<br />
PAROLÉ<br />
PAROLÉ
I’m afraid<br />
of boredom<br />
So?<br />
Road?<br />
Sea?<br />
Driver?<br />
Haha<br />
Z..<br />
Z.<br />
This story<br />
is neither<br />
aesthetic<br />
nor<br />
narrative!<br />
In<br />
truth..<br />
What<br />
happens<br />
next? What<br />
happens<br />
next?<br />
...
Lets get back to the<br />
story...otherwise it’ll<br />
go all over the place<br />
We are<br />
in a<br />
comic.<br />
We are<br />
not at the<br />
theater.<br />
Nor at<br />
the cinema.<br />
Not even<br />
in a<br />
taxicab.<br />
But the<br />
setting<br />
is a<br />
taxicab<br />
Well<br />
said!<br />
Go on,<br />
narrator.<br />
I was saying: at<br />
the very moment<br />
I was born, the<br />
driver made<br />
the following<br />
proclamation:<br />
I had a weird dream. I<br />
had become young again,<br />
but could not find the<br />
roads of my youth...<br />
It’s unbelievable that we<br />
haven’t been able to find<br />
anything about that dream!<br />
It’s tough!<br />
Really<br />
tough!<br />
I’m<br />
lost!<br />
Cui<br />
Cui<br />
Meanwhile, in<br />
a taxi,<br />
Cui<br />
Cui<br />
The next<br />
time, I<br />
promise<br />
I’ll take<br />
off my<br />
glasses.<br />
End<br />
Applause
nicoptine<br />
isabelle boinot<br />
starring, among others<br />
Pete Jess Frank Anita<br />
It’s summer in Capulco<br />
Pete works at a grocer’s. He’s replacing<br />
Marc, his girlfriend Jess’ dad, who’s on<br />
vacation. Jess is on vacation, preparing for<br />
her degree in the 1000 meter crawl. Her<br />
friend Anita is starting a police career,<br />
alongside her colleague Frank.<br />
Dan would like a share in Pete and Jess’ (who<br />
he is madly in love with) intimate life.<br />
Pete and Dan arrive at the pool<br />
Do you think<br />
she’d go for it?<br />
Listen Dan, I’ll<br />
take care of<br />
everything - you<br />
just stand aside
She has to understand<br />
that the both of us<br />
will fully satisfy her<br />
And for that, you<br />
must seduce her<br />
Seduce<br />
her….<br />
If she refuses, I<br />
still have those<br />
pictures of her<br />
and Anita, naked<br />
I think I may<br />
threaten to post<br />
them online<br />
Meanwhile, at the police station<br />
Frank, don’t forget that<br />
I’m waiting for Patrice<br />
Morillon’s bodyguard
And I am waiting<br />
to caress your body<br />
uninhibited, Anita<br />
You are a sex<br />
maniac Frank,<br />
watch out…<br />
You wouldn’t want me to file<br />
a sexual harassment claim<br />
against you, would you?<br />
Because I could do it!<br />
Oh, Captain!
Without fail, Jess is exactly where they expected her to be. Pete and<br />
Dan are going to be able to put their little plan into action<br />
Excellent!<br />
Yay!<br />
Great!
Darling, do you remember Dan?<br />
Oh wow, she’s<br />
beautiful, she’s<br />
beautiful, she’s<br />
beautiful<br />
Hello<br />
you<br />
Hi Jess<br />
You know, he’d<br />
really like to<br />
get to know you<br />
better. We could have<br />
some good times, all<br />
Yeah, he broke<br />
my rib the last<br />
time we met<br />
three of us, if you catch<br />
my drift<br />
You know Jess, it may be better<br />
for you to agree to this, because<br />
you know that I still have those<br />
compromising pictures that you<br />
wouldn’t like me to spread about<br />
It’s not blackmail, I just think<br />
that you should open yourself up<br />
to new experiences, and that you<br />
have the potential for this<br />
Are you<br />
blackmailing me?<br />
The potential?
Oh come on,<br />
Jess, it was<br />
only a joke!<br />
so?<br />
Don’t be ridiculous, your<br />
proposition disgusts me!<br />
To hell with<br />
you both!<br />
so?<br />
I thought it<br />
went well - I<br />
stayed out of it
Hold on,<br />
we’ll try<br />
again<br />
She finds me<br />
silly, right?<br />
Dan,<br />
relax<br />
Maybe Anita put ideas<br />
into her head<br />
Such as the fact<br />
that I have a<br />
tiny penis<br />
The next day<br />
..given all<br />
you’ve told me<br />
already<br />
Of course, Anita,<br />
what did you think?<br />
so you refused?
It’s absolutely<br />
disgusting!<br />
Tell me the truth<br />
Jess: if you didn’t know<br />
about Dan’s problem<br />
You would<br />
have accepted<br />
Right?<br />
Over at Jess’ parents’:<br />
It’s noon, Marc
Why...why are you using this<br />
tone Wendy? I’ll remind<br />
you that I’m on vacation!<br />
I work 11 months a year at the<br />
grocery - I’d also like to remind<br />
you that without my salary you<br />
wouldn’t be able to parade about in<br />
your mohair sweaters<br />
That doesn’t<br />
explain why you<br />
had to come home<br />
at 4 a.m<br />
You’re changing the<br />
subject rather well,<br />
Marc
Wendy, what are you<br />
insinuating? And what<br />
did you put in my coffee?<br />
If you’re trying to poison<br />
me with fuel, it would be<br />
absolutely ridiculous<br />
At the grocer’s, Anita visits Pete<br />
Hi Pete<br />
Hi Anita<br />
I was with Jess a<br />
moment ago, she<br />
told me everything<br />
You’re saying that, but I<br />
know that you were up<br />
for a threesome too<br />
You know, it<br />
was Dan’s idea
Especially since you used<br />
to date guys in college<br />
-- Dan told me that Don’t worry, Jess doesn’t know<br />
about it. But tell me, do the<br />
pictures you want to show the<br />
world turn you on?<br />
I’d like to remind you that<br />
I’m a cop, and if I were you,<br />
I’d find other things to<br />
amuse myself with<br />
Anyway, I gave<br />
the photos to Dan
so make sure to get<br />
them back as fast as<br />
possible, and apologize<br />
to Jess before I tell<br />
her about your past<br />
That one’s really bossy<br />
No later than that evening, Pete invites Jess to dinner<br />
Are you mad<br />
at me?<br />
Oh Jess<br />
I don’t know
humf<br />
How to put it?<br />
I think I really<br />
go for you, Jess
The next day<br />
At the station, Frank and Anita are training:
The exercise<br />
does me good!<br />
I think we can safely<br />
say that I beat you hands<br />
down, Frank!<br />
You know what else<br />
does you good..
I’m not interested Frank. I’ve<br />
already told you, we’re just<br />
colleagues, no more, no less.<br />
And I have<br />
something really<br />
special for you<br />
You know that I<br />
totally want you<br />
Meanwhile, at the grocery…
I’m gonna kill<br />
you, you bastard<br />
to be continued
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2008<br />
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