Clarissa, Volume 6 - The History Of A Young Lady

Clarissa, Volume 6 − The History Of A Young Lady 96
vouch for the inclinations and hypocrisy of the whole sex, and wish for nothing so ardently, as that I will leave
the perverse lady to their management while I am gone to Berkshire; undertaking absolutely for her humility
and passiveness on my return; and continually boasting of the many perverse creatures whom they have
obliged to draw in their traces.
***
I am just come from the sorceresses.
I was forced to take the mother down; for she began with her Hoh, Sir! with me; and to catechize and upbraid
me, with as much insolence as if I owed her money.
I made her fly the pit at last. Strange wishes wished we against each other at her quitting it−−−−What were
they?−−I'll tell thee−−−−She wished me married, and to be jealous of my wife; and my heir−apparent the
child of another man. I was even with her with a vengeance. And yet thou wilt think that could not well
be.−−As how?−−As how, Jack!−−Why, I wished for her conscience come to life! And I know, by the gripes
mine gives me every half−hour, that she would then have a cursed time of it.
Sally and Polly gave themselves high airs too. Their first favours were thrown at me, [women to boast of
those favours which they were as willing to impart, first forms all the difficulty with them! as I to receive!] I
was upbraided with ingratitude, dastardice and all my difficulties with my angel charged upon myself, for
want of following my blows; and for leaving the proud lady mistress of her own will, and nothing to reproach
herself with. And all agreed, that the arts used against her on a certain occasion, had too high an operation for
them or me to judge what her will would have been in the arduous trial. And then they blamed one another; as
I cursed them all.
They concluded, that I should certainly marry, and be a lost man. And Sally, on this occasion, with an affected
and malicious laugh, snapt her fingers at me, and pointing two of each hand forkedly at me, bid me remember
the lines I once showed her of my favourite Jack Dryden, as she always familiarly calls that celebrated poet:
We women to new joys unseen may move: There are no prints left in the paths of love. All goods besides by
public marks are known: But those men most desire to keep, have none.
This infernal implement had the confidence further to hint, that when a wife, some other man would not find
half the difficulty with my angel that I had found. Confidence indeed! But yet, I must say, if a man gives
himself up to the company of these devils, they never let him rest till he either suspects or hate his wife.
But a word or two of other matters, if possible.
Methinks I long to know how causes go at M. Hall. I have another private intimation, that the old peer is in
the greatest danger.
I must go down. Yet what to do with this lady the mean while! These cursed women are full of cruelty and
enterprise. She will never be easy with them in my absence. They will have provocation and pretence
therefore. But woe be to them, if−−−−
Yet what will vengeance do, after an insult committed? The two nymphs will have jealous rage to goad them
on. And what will withhold a jealous and already−ruined woman?
To let her go elsewhere; that cannot be done. I am still too resolved to be honest, if she'll give me hope: if yet
she'll let me be honest. But I'll see how she'll be after the contention she will certainly have between her
resentment and the terror she has reason for from our last conversation. So let this subject rest till the morning.