Clarissa, Volume 6 - The History Of A Young Lady

Clarissa, Volume 6 − The History Of A Young Lady 89
I hope now, my dearest life, said I, snatching her hand, and pressing it to my lips, that your silence bodes me
good. Let me, my beloved creature, have but your tacit consent; and this moment I will step out and engage a
minister. And then I promised how much my whole future life should be devoted to her commands, and that I
would make her the best and tenderest of husbands.
At last, turning to me, I have told you my mind, Mr. Lovelace, said she. Think you, that I could thus
solemnly−−There she stopt−−I am too much in your power, proceeded she; your prisoner, rather than a person
free to choose for myself, or to say what I will do or be. But as a testimony that you mean me well, let me
instantly quit this house; and I will then give you such an answer in writing, as best befits my unhappy
circumstances.
And imaginest thou, fairest, thought I, that this will go down with a Lovelace? Thou oughtest to have known
that free−livers, like ministers of state, never part with a power put into their hands, without an equivalent of
twice the value.
I pleaded, that if we joined hands this morning, (if not, to−morrow; if not, on Thursday, her uncle's birth−day,
and in his presence); and afterwards, as I had proposed, set out for Berks; we should, of course, quit this
house; and, on our return to town, should have in readiness the house I was in treaty for.
She answered me not, but with tears and sighs; fond of believing what I hoped I imputed her silence to the
modesty of her sex. The dear creature, (thought I,) solemnly as she began with me, is ruminating, in a sweet
suspence, how to put into fit words the gentle purposes of her condescending heart. But, looking in her
averted face with a soothing gentleness, I plainly perceived, that it was resentment, and not bashfulness, that
was struggling in her bosom.*
* The Lady, in her minutes, owns the difficulty she lay under to keep her temper in this conference. 'But when
I found,' says she, 'that all my entreaties were ineffectual, and that he was resolved to detain me, I could no
longer withhold my impatience.'
At last she broke silence−−I have no patience, said she, to find myself a slave, a prisoner, in a vile
house−−Tell me, Sir, in so many words tell me, whether it be, or be not, your intention to permit me to quit
it?−−To permit me the freedom which is my birthright as an English subject?
Will not the consequence of your departure hence be that I shall lose you for ever, Madam?−−And can I bear
the thoughts of that?
She flung from me−−My soul disdains to hold parley with thee! were her violent words.−−But I threw myself
at her feet, and took hold of her reluctant hand, and began to imprecate, avow, to promise−−But thus the
passionate beauty, interrupting me, went on:
I am sick of thee, MAN!−−One continued string of vows, oaths, and protestations, varied only by time and
place, fills thy mouth!−−Why detainest thou me? My heart rises against thee, O thou cruel implement of my
brother's causeless vengeance.−−All I beg of thee is, that thou wilt remit me the future part of my father's
dreadful curse! the temporary part, base and ungrateful as thou art! thou hast completed!
I was speechless!−−Well I might!−−Her brother's implement!−−James Harlowe's implement!−−Zounds, Jack!
what words were these!
I let go her struggling hand. She took two or three turns cross the room, her whole haughty soul in her air.
Then approaching me, but in silence, turning from me, and again to me, in a milder voice−−I see thy
confusion, Lovelace. Or is it thy remorse?−−I have but one request to make thee−−the request so often
repeated−−That thou wilt this moment permit me to quit this house. Adieu, then, let me say, for ever adieu!