Clarissa, Volume 6 - The History Of A Young Lady

Clarissa, Volume 6 − The History Of A Young Lady 66
I am cut to the heart, Madam, with invectives so violent. I am but too sensible of the wrong I have done you,
or I could not bear your reproaches. The man who perpetrates a villany, and resolves to go on with it, shows
not the compunction I show. Yet, if you think yourself in my power, I would caution you, Madam, not to
make me desperate. For you shall be mine, or my life shall be the forfeit! Nor is life worth having without
you!−−
Be thine!−−I be thine!−−said the passionate beauty. O how lovely in her violence!
Yes, Madam, be mine! I repeat you shall be mine! My very crime is your glory. My love, my admiration of
you is increased by what has passed−− and so it ought. I am willing, Madam, to court your returning favour;
but let me tell you, were the house beset by a thousand armed men, resolved to take you from me, they should
not effect their purpose, while I had life.
I never, never will be your's, said she, clasping her hands together, and lifting up her eyes!−−I never will be
your's!
We may yet see many happy years, Madam. All your friends may be reconciled to you. The treaty for that
purpose is in greater forwardness than you imagine. You know better than to think the worse of yourself for
suffering what you could not help. Enjoin but the terms I can make my peace with you upon, and I will
instantly comply.
Never, never, repeated she, will I be your's!
Only forgive me, my dearest life, this one time!−−A virtue so invincible! what further view can I have against
you?−−Have I attempted any further outrage?−−If you will be mine, your injuries will be injuries done to
myself. You have too well guessed at the unnatural arts that have been used. But can a greater testimony be
given of your virtue?−−And now I have only to hope, that although I cannot make you complete amends, yet
you will permit me to make you all the amends that can possibly be made.
Here [sic] me out, I beseech you, Madam; for she was going to speak with an aspect unpacifiedly angry: the
God, whom you serve, requires but repentance and amendment. Imitate him, my dearest love, and bless me
with the means of reforming a course of life that begins to be hateful to me. That was once your favourite
point. Resume it, dearest creature, in charity to a soul, as well as body, which once, as I flattered myself, was
more than indifferent to you, resume it. And let to−morrow's sun witness to our espousals.
I cannot judge thee, said she; but the GOD to whom thou so boldly referrest can, and, assure thyself, He will.
But, if compunction has really taken hold of thee−−if, indeed, thou art touched for thy ungrateful baseness,
and meanest any thing by this pleading the holy example thou recommendest to my imitation; in this thy
pretended repentant moment, let me sift thee thoroughly, and by thy answer I shall judge of the sincerity of
thy pretended declarations.
Tell me, then, is there any reality in the treaty thou has pretended to be on foot between my uncle and Capt.
Tomlinson, and thyself?−−Say, and hesitate not, is there any truth in that story?−−But, remember, if there be
not, and thou avowest that there is, what further condemnation attends to thy averment, if it be as solemn as I
require it to be!
This was a cursed thrust! What could I say!−−Surely this merciless lady is resolved to d−−n me, thought I,
and yet accuses me of a design against her soul!−−But was I not obliged to proceed as I had begun?
In short, I solemnly averred that there was!−−How one crime, as the good folks say, brings on another!
I added, that the Captain had been in town, and would have waited on her, had she not been indisposed; that