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y Shari Stern
Apples have, and will, continue to defeat human willpowerturning
“no” into “yes” and “I won’t” into “I will.” Here’s an innocent
example from when I was in elementary school.
At a classmates’ Halloween party, I decided to participate in
the apple bobbing competition. The apples taunted me from
the pool of greasy water created by
a recipe of spit and clown makeup
that served to make the game more
challenging. I really wanted to get
the apple so I could win the much
desired plastic prize that was promised
to the winner. But no matter
how hard I tried, the apples remained
at the bottom of the bin —
bright, proud, and red. Damn those
apples! I turned cranky and miserable
for the rest of the evening, in
the way only a seven year old little
girl could.
Apparently, I wasn’t the only one
who was seduced by the apple. In
the familiar story of Eve, why was
the apple chosen as forbidden? A
seedy fig, phallic banana, or fleshy
peach would seem to make more
sense. Some attribute the apple’s
earliest reputation as temptress to
the Roman Celtic war. The Romans
identified the apple, also an important
part of Celtic culture, as a
medium for manipulation and seduction.
Some point to the fact that
when cut in a half, it forms a “burning”
sign of the devil, with the seeds
being in the shape of the sign of Satan
and the “burning” caused by
oxidation. But no matter when these
folk tales were told, the bright red
juicy apple’s lustful reputation stood
the test of time.
Apples still rightfully hold their
lustful, bad-girl status. The story of
Snow White made the “good” little
girls think that apples will hurt
them, while the “bad” little girls
would make out with boys following
consumption. While apples
have also been disguised as neutral
and as bland as frozen apple pie
the mystique of Apples
No Surrender
Apple Crisp
3 lbs. apples
at least half should be Macintosh variety
1 stick butter plus extra for greasing pan
1 ¼ cup rolled oats
¾ cup flour
1 cup brown sugar
¼ cup brandy
½ t cardamon
1 t cinnamon
¼ t nutmeg
¼ t ginger
Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Grease a 8x8
inch, 9x9 inch, or loaf pan with butter or cooking
spray.
Peel and core apples. Cut into chunk size piecesas
chunky as you like it. Put into mixing bowl and
stir in brandy, cinnamon, nutmeg and ginger. Mix
well until all apples are well coated. Set aside.
Cut butter stick into 6 pieces. In another mixing
bowl combine butter, oats, flour, brown sugar,
and butter. With CLEAN hands, combine well-mixture
should be crumbly but butter should be well
distributed.
Add apples to greased pan. Pour in ½ the “juice”
left at the bottom of the mixing bowl evenly
through the mixture. Pack until the dish is 2/3
full. Top with crumble mixture, pushing firmly.
Shallow dish: Bake for 30-35 minutes; Deep dish:
45-50 minutes or until the top is brown. Since
ovens vary, keep your eye on it to prevent burning.
Allow to cool until it reaches a “warm” temperature.
Tastes great with vanilla ice cream.
l o v e b i t e s
thawed out for Thanksgiving, the film American Pie revived its
image as the sexy “feels like” aphrodisiac when Jason Bigg’s
character attempted experiential sex with his Mom’s freshly
baked apple pie.
For me, my relationship with apples blossomed when I started
hacking them up with a knife at a young age. Apples were one
of my first experimental ingredients,
as they grow abundantly near my
home in Bucks County and my mother
would bring home huge quantities of
them from the orchards. We had to
figure out what to do with them before
nature and rotting took their
course. I quickly learned about the
menage-a-trois of cinnamon, nutmeg,
and apples, and became addicted to
the trio blanketing pancakes, tossed
in stuffing, or covered in sugary
crumble. Nutmeg and cinnamon each
hold their own as aphrodisiacs, their
intense flavors helping create “heat”
through the body and fuel the brain’s
pleasure centers.
When I was dating, I often treated
my then boyfriend to a homemade
apple crumble, thinking it’d help them
fall in love with me. Combining my
secret no-surrender blend of cardamon
and ginger with an extra dose of
cinnamon would do the trick — at
least for the night. After dating for a
while, the tides turned and now I was
being offered homemade apple
crumble by a date. Here my crumble
had gained quite a reputation. It had
become code for “I want to sleep with
you.” I was both insulted and excited.
Someone had usurped my medium
of seduction. Out of all the fruits in
the world, couldn’t he pick another
crumble?
Apples still remain a favorite aphrodisiac.
Not because they actually
stimulate a reaction in the body, but
because of their bad-girl, seductive associations
Try my recipe inset on this
page and send me your feedback
through my web site,
regulargalcooks.com
Shari Stern teaches “Love Bites” Aphrodisiac Cooking Parties in Philadelphia and NYC for bachelorette parties, birthdays, and other occasions. She regularly
appears in a variety of newspapers, magazines, and television shows. www.regulargalcooks.com
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