download this issue as a PDF

on having my lights work, but I’m here now; so could you please, please, please not have anyone pick up, then I can
leave a message and the folks won’t worry?
The machine tuned on and I rushed, “Hey, it’s Chris. My lights aren’t working on my car. It runs. I’m okay. I’m at
Lauren’s and I’m going to spend the night here. She has another bed I can sleep in. Oh, and my cell phone died.
I’ll be home in the morning. Love you. Bye.”
Lauren heard my message and said that there was another bed in her dad’s office. We cleared off some papers
from the blanket of the single bed. I took off my shoes as if I were going to sleep. Lauren said she was going to
watch an episode of Six Feet Under and that I could join her in her room.
Next to each other on Lauren’s bed, we watched the TV. Lauren reached out and held my hand and was rubbing
my fingers. Lauren had brushed her teeth and changed into short-shorts, out of her bra, and put on a loose t-
shirt. I thought how less than an hour ago we had been messing around and I had been ready to sleep with
Lauren, but I hadn’t even thought about falling asleep with her. I’d never stayed and slept the whole night with
a girl before.
My father and I have kept a “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy with the silent agreement that I would come home to
get back in my own bed. I knew in the morning I would have to face my father. Even if I explained that there had
been a boundary, and that I thought he should be proud of me, I knew I wouldn’t be telling the whole truth: that
I didn’t agree with him about holding yourself back from someone you loved. I was frantic thinking what I
would say.
Lauren squeezed my hand, checking on me. My eyes were closed. I knew tomorrow would come, but I was
comfortable right then and there. I was content. Then Lauren straddled me. I kept my eyes shut. She slid my
glasses off of my face as gently as a goodnight kiss.
In the night, I heard a small phht. Then a sigh. And I realized that Lauren just farted. Our relationship had ended
before after I had told Lauren that I needed her to open up and Lauren said she didn’t think she could let me in
any further. Lauren farting wasn’t exactly what I wanted, but nonetheless there was a certain sweetness to it,
and I realized how vulnerable sleeping together was for both of us.
A fiesta ringtone went off. I didn’t know where I was. I had all my clothes on and I was under a blanket on a bed
that wasn’t mine. Something was shuffling next to me. Everything was blurry without my glasses. I squinted in
the hazy sunrise coming through some blinds and snatched my frames from a nightstand. As I put my glasses
on a TV came into focus. Then I turned to Lauren. Her hair was a hot mess of bedhead that I had only seen
before, after sleeping with her.
“Good morning,” I said as I tucked one of her curly bangs behind her ear and then kissed her forehead.
“Five more minutes,” Lauren said and she turned off her alarm.
11