Summer 2012 Newsletter - LaGuardia Community College - CUNY
Summer 2012 Newsletter - LaGuardia Community College - CUNY Summer 2012 Newsletter - LaGuardia Community College - CUNY
has learned the softer side of perseverance. With all the failures that have occurred in my life, whenever I succeeded it was as sweet as that first bite of the ripest mango. Throughout the majority of my life I pushed on past obstacles without fully understanding why I didn't want to give up; passion may have been the reason from time to time. But with raising a child I found out it takes more than that, it takes true compassion. A virtue I thought would come naturally, giving the father-daughter bond. Unfortunately the inner frustrations that I had toward myself had been like a cancer spreading throughout my life and affected those closest to me. I needed to learn how to appreciate who I am, and what I have in order to feel confidence and unconditional love for others; mainly my daughter. “There are three types of people in the world, those who make things happen, those who watch things happen and those who wonder what’s happening!” ― Anonymous Years from now I don't want to wonder what had happened to my daughter and the relationship that we share. This brings to mind one of the Bruce Willis Die Hard films "Live Free or Die Hard”. The film displays Bruce Willis as a father along with his estranged daughter. What pulled me into this particular movie is that throughout the whole film Bruce Willis struggles with his relationship with his daughter. She grew up to have all of his tough and challenging attributes. They seem more like twins then father and daughter, bumping heads whenever they were together. The funny aspect of this relationship is that I wouldn't mind my daughter growing up to be this tough feminine woman. But on the other hand I don't want to be in Bruce Willis's shoes where he mostly fights with her, just to make up for the lost time he wasn't able to spend with her due to work. Now she has sort of rebelled against him and challenges him on everything. On a daily basis I continue to learn something new about myself and how to be better parent and person. I steadily collect advice and information from various resources, learn from the mistakes and experiences of others parents. I always thought that things would be so much easier if there was some sort of field manual or a How to be A Daddy Book for Dummies, with plenty of illustrative photos, until I came across a Jim Henson quote where he once said that “Kids don't remember what you try to teach them. They remember what you are”. Since leaving the military in 2010, I decided to do just that. By adjusting my mentality and allowing my daughter to be a typical kid, and not prematurely prepping her for the approach of some sort of apocalypse while most parents are teaching their kids to ride bikes. Allow her to make mistakes without transforming into Gunnery Sergeant R. Lee Ermey as I’ve been told on numerous occasions. “I alone cannot change the world, but I can cast a stone across the waters to create many ripples.” ― Mother Teresa While growing up on an island in the South Pacific, I always found old wise sayings spoken by the elders really cool. One saying in particular which stuck with me was told to me by my greatuncle. "If you drop a pebble into the ocean and the ripples radiate outwards they will touch and affect everything.” As a child you would never believe that tossing something as simple as a pebble in the ocean would create a small ripple that could eventually turn into 30 foot swells 500 miles away, waves that would either provide an anxious surfer with that championship wave he or she has been waiting for, or either a catastrophic one that all coastlines fear. Regardless of which of the two would develop, it is safe to say that both would potentially create a change. A change whether modest or traumatic, good or bad; definitely one significant enough to affect those that would come in contact with it. Obviously there's a hidden lesson to be learned from this old proverb; or either this old guy's mind had been sun baked a little too long. The lesson is that decisions we make no matter how small will result in changes of various proportions. The ripples in my life began in my grandfather's childhood long before I was born which affected my mother's upbringing and then mines; now it threatens my daughter's childhood. Twelve years have sprinted by since Jadzia’s birth, and nearly five of those years were spent away from home on deployments and that’s not even counting the trainings schools I had to attend that fell in between. Seems like I’m now, finally getting the hang of this “regular guy” persona. At times I find myself tapping into that warrior ethos mindset, in order to negotiate past the Olympic styled obstacles life set out in front of me. Who knew that all the years of absent affections that I never came to experience would later submerge to effect the next generation of relationships I would be involved in? Will the same be true for my daughter and her kids? I need to 8
eak this cycle, by following through with my objectives. Azimuth has been shot and the course is plotted; failure is not an option. William Benefield What is change? It is when you’re placed in a certain situation that requires you to work the hardest to continue to live. Most people believe that change can be determined by financial circumstances or losing someone significant in your life who was close to you. In my situation I have been through both of these and it hasn’t been easy. Transitioning from the military can be difficult. The changes that you will be faced with can bring the best out of you and the worst. In a time where the economy isn’t in the best shape, finding work can be difficult. Many veterans in my age group, ranging from 24-27, can be faced with a whole new lifestyle change because of the economic status in the United States. It’s hard for everyone to get work in this day and age, but the changes for a veteran go unnoticed sometimes. For me when I first got discharged, “honorably,” it was a little exciting and scary. When time wasn’t something I had on my side, finding another opportunity to show my strengths in my work became unreachable. The more time went on I began to get depressed, unable to realize that my time I had invested in the military meant so much. Making time for the job force was overlooked by me at the time I was just enjoying military life. Everything was on me: my strengths and weaknesses were seen throughout this time period. Family was supportive at first but eventually they were not able to offer a “keep your head up” type of motivation. Most of my family had their own issues. This was when my eyes were wide open to the fact that this wasn’t a time to just wait for things to get better. Adjusting to changes I was faced with came with some hard decisions. My now ex-wife wasn’t just going to wait around. She wasn’t the type to adjust to the circumstances. So she left with my daughter. There went my motivation to strive harder; now it was just me, and time moves so slow when you’re unemployed and financially unstable. But I found something deep in myself that got me to the place that I wanted to be. Now I wasn’t thinking about the “how it was” or “how it could’ve been.” I worked harder and it took its toll on me. My lifestyle changed for the better: all the things I learned in the military helped but some of it was patience, “I had to learn to be patient.” I believe if I never went through this change I would have been a weaker person. Now my life is finally getting back on track. For a while I felt like this would never end. Now I am beginning to be much more positive. Patiently waiting for things to happen that take time. My long and short term goals are happening productively. I am back in school where I belong and looking forward to the semester to start. Now I realize that even if the change isn’t good at first there is always a positive that comes from it. Anthony Cortes Who the f*ck is calling this late? That is what I asked myself as I hear my mother answering the phone. “Lo balasiaron a Edwin” (Spanish for “they shot Edwin”). That is what my mom shouted as she began to cry and dropped the phone. I quickly got up and found out what hospital they were taking him to. Against my father’s word I quickly got dressed and was headed out the door. My mother knew how close my bond was with Edwin and came along instead of trying to stop me. When I got to the hospital, all of my aunts and uncles were already there in the emergency waiting room, praying that Edwin was going to make it. I stepped out to gather my emotions and pinched myself to wake up from this nightmare. As I stepped in, I already felt the emptiness in my heart and a few seconds later the doctor came in and made the news official. My cousin Edwin was killed by a drive-by shooting after leaving a family party on April 9, 2000 at the age of 14. As I see my aunts, uncles, and my mom crying while we were all around my cousin’s deathbed, many questions came to mind. Why did this happen? Who did this? Are they out 9
- Page 1 and 2: Veterans Upward Bound, LaGuardia Co
- Page 3 and 4: so I aggressively researched her co
- Page 5 and 6: person and could have been perceive
- Page 7: The boy scouts taught me how to be
- Page 11 and 12: sure you look fantastic without a s
- Page 13 and 14: compilation of mental abuse, unjust
- Page 15 and 16: were the black shirts given to pool
- Page 17: ough of Manhattan while other train
eak this cycle, by following through with my objectives. Azimuth has been shot and the course<br />
is plotted; failure is not an option.<br />
William Benefield<br />
What is change? It is when you’re placed in a certain situation that requires you to work the<br />
hardest to continue to live. Most people believe that change can be determined by financial circumstances<br />
or losing someone significant in your life who was close to you. In my situation I<br />
have been through both of these and it hasn’t been easy.<br />
Transitioning from the military can be difficult. The changes that you will be faced with can bring<br />
the best out of you and the worst. In a time where the economy isn’t in the best shape, finding<br />
work can be difficult. Many veterans in my age group, ranging from 24-27, can be faced with a<br />
whole new lifestyle change because of the economic status in the United States. It’s hard for<br />
everyone to get work in this day and age, but the changes for a veteran go unnoticed sometimes.<br />
For me when I first got discharged, “honorably,” it was a little exciting and scary. When time<br />
wasn’t something I had on my side, finding another opportunity to show my strengths in my<br />
work became unreachable. The more time went on I began to get depressed, unable to realize<br />
that my time I had invested in the military meant so much. Making time for the job force was<br />
overlooked by me at the time I was just enjoying military life. Everything was on me: my<br />
strengths and weaknesses were seen throughout this time period. Family was supportive at first<br />
but eventually they were not able to offer a “keep your head up” type of motivation. Most of my<br />
family had their own issues. This was when my eyes were wide open to the fact that this wasn’t<br />
a time to just wait for things to get better.<br />
Adjusting to changes I was faced with came with some hard decisions. My now ex-wife wasn’t<br />
just going to wait around. She wasn’t the type to adjust to the circumstances. So she left with my<br />
daughter. There went my motivation to strive harder; now it was just me, and time moves so<br />
slow when you’re unemployed and financially unstable. But I found something deep in myself that<br />
got me to the place that I wanted to be. Now I wasn’t thinking about the “how it was” or “how<br />
it could’ve been.” I worked harder and it took its toll on me. My lifestyle changed for the better:<br />
all the things I learned in the military helped but some of it was patience, “I had to learn to be<br />
patient.” I believe if I never went through this change I would have been a weaker person.<br />
Now my life is finally getting back on track. For a while I felt like this would never end. Now I am<br />
beginning to be much more positive. Patiently waiting for things to happen that take time. My<br />
long and short term goals are happening productively. I am back in school where I belong and<br />
looking forward to the semester to start. Now I realize that even if the change isn’t good at first<br />
there is always a positive that comes from it.<br />
Anthony Cortes<br />
Who the f*ck is calling this late? That is what I asked myself as I hear my mother<br />
answering the phone. “Lo balasiaron a Edwin” (Spanish for “they shot Edwin”). That is what<br />
my mom shouted as she began to cry and dropped the phone. I quickly got up and found out<br />
what hospital they were taking him to. Against my father’s word I quickly got dressed and was<br />
headed out the door. My mother knew how close my bond was with Edwin and came along<br />
instead of trying to stop me. When I got to the hospital, all of my aunts and uncles were<br />
already there in the emergency waiting room, praying that Edwin was going to make it. I<br />
stepped out to gather my emotions and pinched myself to wake up from this nightmare. As I<br />
stepped in, I already felt the emptiness in my heart and a few seconds later the doctor came in<br />
and made the news official. My cousin Edwin was killed by a drive-by shooting after leaving a<br />
family party on April 9, 2000 at the age of 14.<br />
As I see my aunts, uncles, and my mom crying while we were all around my cousin’s<br />
deathbed, many questions came to mind. Why did this happen? Who did this? Are they out<br />
9
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