Summer 2012 Newsletter - LaGuardia Community College - CUNY

our previous foster family. I despise in many ways my supposed “childhood” and wish it was different.
I had changed from a completely innocent boy to carrying the weight of responsibility
onto my young shoulders. Those changes prevented me from being susceptible to most other
negative influential changes like joining a gang or doing drugs. Other than few good memories, I
remember playing Sonic the Hedgehog and only then did I actually feel like a kid. I became fond
of him and it became my outlet for stress. Fast forwarding from there I came to my teen years.
Upon entering my teenage years, I was met with a multitude of events which led to not only
changes within myself, but also the change of my surroundings. I left my grandmother’s and was
reunited with my mother. Although it was a much wanted reunion, the ensuing events deemed
to be not so wanted. Upon living with my mother, not only did I need to change my school once
more, but also the area we were living in was a lot less favorable than the one I departed. Upon
my first night there, I awoke to gun shots outside. I learned to get used to them quickly. The
school I was to attend was a good school, but the students were under different influences. This
included, but was not limited to, drugs, gangs, sex, violence, and some instances of racism. I
adapted quickly to these surroundings as well. I slowly began to change into something I wasn’t. I
attained the nickname “quick fingers” because there wasn’t anything I couldn’t steal whether it
was in a store, or right in front of someone’s eyes. Through the many fights I was involved in
(almost all of them in self-defense), I also carried over my nickname from my previous school,
“Grim”. I was changing in a negative way and quickly. I then met a person and was going to lift
something. I was cocky and knew it was easy, but another person ratted me out. I was caught,
but they let me go with no charges. I was taught a lesson and was able to reflect. I no longer
wanted to live like that. I stopped ‘lifting’ things and became more passive in terms of fighting,
but in that environment, they see that as weakness. Around that time my mother was also diagnosed
with breast cancer. I went into a yearlong depression upon finding out. It got to the point
where the few ‘emo’ kids kept away from me because, from what they said, I was “too emo” for
them. I slowly withdrew myself from people and even withdrew from light or anything that wasn’t
dark and cold. I found strength in solitude and complete silence. I found a slightly odd comfort
from the cold, uncaring darkness. When the chemo was successful and the doctors said
there was no more traces of the cancer anymore, it was relieving, but I was still cold, lost and
withdrawn. I slowly worked out of that and came to be close to what I once was, but I had
changed much too drastically for that. Near the end of my teen years to the beginning of my
adult years were the next, and possibly the biggest, changes to my life.
Upon my sixteenth birthday, I was still trying to get used to life, for lack of a better word. School
had become troublesome because of the other students. I was really good in English, math and
even better in science. It was to the point where I would only go in during test days, take the,
and pass with extra credit if possible. The problem was actually with the school I was in. It is a
school that has been in the news before for violence. That was one of many reasons I kept cutting
classes. When nearing my eighteenth birthday, a day came where I walked out of my English
class and was in the middle of two pistols, one held by a ‘blood’, the other held by a ‘crip’, both
aiming at each other and me in the middle: I knew I couldn’t stay in that school. I proceeded in
getting my GED after my eighteenth birthday to actually have some type of education diploma
under my belt. Upon completion of that, I was working odd jobs for about a year. During this
time, I was also dating someone (her significance comes in after I get my GED). I worked odd
jobs and I was with her for a total of 4 years. I really did care about her. I was a responsible person
and knew when I needed to take responsibility for my actions. She ended up saying she was
pregnant. I knew I couldn’t support a family on odd jobs, and I barely had any work experience
as well. I had wanted to join the military for quite a while, so I decided it was the best course of
action. I chose the Marine Corps because of my late Uncle Nelson. It was also the hardest
branch of service in terms of training. No one said I could do it, and I wanted to prove them
wrong. This was going to prove to be one of the biggest changes of my life. A month after my
nineteenth birthday I was slated to be shipped out to basic training. I knew what I needed to do,
I was prepared as best I could be, and my mind was set in stone. Unlike everyone else, I didn’t
have a mother and father to see me off. Instead, my uncle and his wife saw me swear in and saw
me off instead. The travel was long and added to the stress that was growing by the second. Diving
into the unknown abyss is what it felt like. Upon arrival to the base, everyone with me started
having second thoughts about their decision. I really do mean everyone who was in that bus
other than the bus driver. I, on the other hand, had complete determination. I was a very skinny
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