divine-mercy-in-my-soul

259 Today, 27 [May 1933], I am leaving for Vilnius. When I came out of the house, I looked at
the garden and the house, and when I cast a glance at the novitiate, tears suddenly ran
down my cheeks. I remembered all the blessings and graces bestowed on me by the
Lord. Then, suddenly and unexpectedly, I saw the Lord by the flower bed and He said to
me, Do not weep; I am with you always. God‟s presence, which enveloped me as
Jesus was speaking, accompanied me throughout the journey.
260 I had permission to visit Czestochowa while on my journey. I saw the Mother of God
[image] for the first time, when I went to attend the unveiling of the image at five in the
morning,. I prayed without interruption until eleven, and it seemed to me that I had just
come. The Superior of the house there [Mother Serafin 75 ] sent a sister for me, to tell me
to come to breakfast and said she was worried (118) that I would miss my train. The
Mother of God told me many things. I entrusted my perpetual vows to Her, I felt that I
was her child and that She was my Mother. She did not refuse any of my requests.
261 +I am already in Vilnius today. A few scattered tiny huts make up the convent. It seems
a bit strange to me after the large buildings of Jozefow. There are only eighteen sisters
here. The house is small, but the community life is more intimate. All the sisters received
me very warmly, which was for me a great encouragement to endure the hardships that
lay ahead. Sister Justine had even scrubbed the floor in anticipation of my arrival.
262 +When I went to Benediction, Jesus enlightened me on how I was to conduct myself in
respect to certain persons. I clung with all my might to the most sweet Heart of Jesus,
knowing how much I would be exposed to external distractions because of the work I
would be doing here in the garden, where I necessarily would be in close contact with lay
persons.
263 +The week for confession came and, to my great joy, I saw the priest I had known before
coming to Vilnius. [That is to say,] I had known him by seeing him in a vision. At that
moment, I heard these words in my soul: This is My faithful servant; he will help you
to fulfill My will here on earth. Yet, I did not open myself to him as the Lord wishes.
And for some time I struggled against grace. During each confession, God‟s grace
penetrated me in a very special way, yet I did not reveal my soul before him, and I had
the intention of not going to confession to that priest. After this decision, a terrible anxiety
entered my soul. God reproached me severely. When I did lay bare my soul completely
to this priest, Jesus poured an ocean of graces into it. Now I understand what it means to
be faithful to a particular grace. That one grace draws down a whole series of others.
264 (119) +O my Jesus, keep me near to You! See how weak I am! I cannot go a step
forward by myself; so You, Jesus, must stand by me constantly like a mother by a
helpless child – and even more so.
265 Days of work, of struggle, and of suffering have begun. Everything continued according
to the convent routine. One is always a novice, having to learn many things and to get to
know about many things, because although the rule is the same, each house has its own
customs; and thus, each change is a little novitiate.
August 5, 1933, The Feast of our Lady of Mercy.
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