divine-mercy-in-my-soul

1493 + O my Jesus, from the moment I gave myself completely to You, I have given no
thought whatsoever for myself. You may do with me whatever You like. There is only
one thing I think about; that is, what do You prefer; what can I do, O Lord, to please
You. I listen and watch for each opportunity. It matters not if I am outwardly judged
otherwise in this matter…..
1494 (102) January 15, 1938. Today, when the sister about whom the Lord warned me came
to see me, I armed myself spiritually for battle. Although it cost me much, I did not
depart one bit from what the Lord had commanded. But when an hour had gone by,
and the sister made no move to go, I interiorly called upon Jesus to help. Then I heard
a voice in my soul saying, Do not fear. I am watching you this very moment and am
helping you. In a moment, I will send you two sisters who are coming to visit you,
and then you will find it easy to continue the conversation. And at that moment two
sisters entered, and then the conversation was much easier, even though it lasted for
still another half hour.
1495 Oh, how good it is to call on Jesus for help during a conversation. Oh, how good it is,
during a moment of peace, to beg for actual graces. I fear most of all this sort of
confidential conversation; there is need of much divine light at times like this, in order to
speak with profit, both for the other person‟s soul, and for one‟s own as well. God,
however, comes to our aid; but we have to ask Him for it. Let no one trust too much in
his own self.
1496 (103) January 17, 1938. Today, since early in the morning, my soul has been in
darkness. I cannot ascend to Jesus, and I feel as though I have been forsaken by Him.
I will not turn to creatures for light, because I know that they will not enlighten me if
Jesus wills to keep me in darkness. I submit myself to His holy will and suffer. Still, the
struggle is becoming more and more desperate. During Vespers, I wanted to unite
myself with the sisters through prayer.
1497 When I went, in my thoughts, to the chapel, my spirit was plunged into even greater
darkness. Total discouragement came over me. Than I heard Satan‟s voice: “See how
contradictory everything is that Jesus gives to you: He tells you to found a convent, and
then He gives you sickness; He tells you to set about establishing this Feast of Mercy
while the whole world does not at all want such a feast. Why do you pray for this feast?
It is so inopportune.” My soul remained silent and, by an act of will, continued to pray
without entering into conversation with the Spirit of Darkness. Nevertheless, such an
extraordinary disgust with life came over me that I had to make a great act of the will to
consent to go on living….(104)
And again I heard the tempter‟s words: “Ask for death for yourself, tomorrow after Holy
Communion. God will hear you, for He has heard you so many times before and has
given you that which you asked of Him.” I remained silent and, by an act of will, I began
to pray, or rather, submitted myself to God, asking Him interiorly not to abandon me at
this moment. It was already eleven o‟clock at night, and there was silence all around.
The sisters were all asleep in their cells, and my soul alone was struggling with great
exertion.
The tempter went on: “Why should you bother about other souls? You ought to be
praying only for yourself. As for sinners, they will be converted without your prayers. I
333