divine-mercy-in-my-soul

1098 Although God has confirmed me in this virtue, I am, however, constantly on the watch and
fear even my own shadow, but this only because I have come to love God intensely.
1099 (26) This grace from God was given to me precisely because I was the weakest of all
people; this is why the Almighty has surrounded me with His special mercy.
1100 April 24. I can sense every major grace in advance; a strange longing and desire for God
comes over me, and then I wait for the grace. And the greater the grace, the more
distinct is the presentiment, and the fiercer is my struggle with the adversary of my
salvation.
My soul is sometimes in such a condition that I can only, describe it by means of a
comparison: there are two great friends, and one of them is giving a great feast and has
invited the other; both of them are looking forward to it; but the hour of the feast has been
set. Well, the moments just before receiving the grace are so violent that it is difficult to
describe them. They are marked by painful longing and the fire of love. I can feel the
Lord is there, but I cannot be completely absorbed in Him, because the hour has been
designated. Often, before such a moment of grace, I am utterly destitute in mind, will and
heart. I am left all alone, and I wait for the One God. He Himself effects this in me before
His coming.
April 23, 1937. I have begun a three-day retreat today. 190
1101 In the evening, I heard these words in my soul: My daughter, know that I shall speak
to you in a special way through this priest [Father Plaza 191 ] so that you may not
yield to doubt concerning My wishes. Already in the first meditation my soul was
struck by the following words of the priest: I must not oppose /God‟s will and God‟s
designs, whatever they might be; and as soon as I am convinced of the certitude and the
authenticity of the will of God, I have the duty of carrying it out. No one can release me
from this. Whatever (27) the will of God may be, once I have come to know it, I ought to
carry it out. This is just a very short summary, but the whole meditation imprinted itself on
my soul, and I have no doubts about anything. I know what God wants of me, and what I
ought to do.
1102 There are, in my life, times and moments of spiritual insight; that is, divine illuminations,
when the soul receives inward instruction about things it has not read in any book and
has not been taught by any person. These are times of great inner knowledge which God
himself imparts to the soul. These are great mysteries…… I often receive light and the
knowledge of the interior life of God and of God‟s intimate disposition, and this fills me
with unutterable trust and a joy that I cannot contain within myself; I desire to dissolve
completely in Him……
1103 + The quintessence of love is sacrifice and suffering. Truth wears a crown of thorns.
Prayer involves the intellect, the will, and the emotions.
1104 Today there was a beautiful teaching [by Father Plaza] on the goodness and mercy of
God. During this conference my soul experienced the flames of God‟s love, and I
understood that God‟s word is a living word.
1105 My particular examen is still the same; namely, union with the merciful Christ, and silence.
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