divine-mercy-in-my-soul

840 December 23, [1936]. I am spending this time with the Mother of God and preparing
myself for the solemn moment of the coming of the Lord Jesus. The Mother of God is
instructing me in the interior life of the soul with Jesus, especially in Holy Communion.
It is only in eternity that we shall know the great mystery effected in us by Holy
Communion. O most precious moments of my life!
841 O my Creator, I long for You! You understand me, O Lord of mine! All that is on earth
seems to me like a pale shadow. It is You I long for and desire. Although You do so
inconceivably much for me, for You yourself visit me in a special way, yet those visits
do not soothe the wound of the heart, but make me long all the more (225) for You, O
Lord. Oh, take me to Yourself, Lord, if such is Your will! You know that I am dying,
and I am dying of longing for You; and yet, I cannot die. Death, where are you? You
draw me into the abyss of Your divinity, and You veil yourself with darkness. My
whole being is immersed in You, yet I desire to see You face to face. When will this
come about for me?
842 Sister Chrysostom 154 came to visit me today. She brought some lemons and apples
and a tiny Christmas tree. I was delighted with them. Through Sister Chrysostom,
Mother Superior asked the doctor [Adam Silberg] to let me come home for Christmas,
and he readily agreed. I was very happy and burst into tears like a little child. Sister
Chrysostom was surprised that I looked so had and had changed so much, and she
told me, “You know, Little Faustina, probably you will die. You must be suffering a
great deal, Sister.” I answered that I was suffering more that day than on other days,
but that it was nothing and that, for the salvation of souls, it was not too much. O
merciful Jesus, give me the souls of sinners!
843 (226) December 24, [1936]. During Holy Mass today, I was united in a particular way
with God and His Immaculate Mother. The humility and love of the Immaculate Virgin
penetrated my soul. The more I imitate the Mother of God, the more deeply I get to
know God. Oh, what infinite longing envelops my soul! Jesus, how can You still leave
me in this exile? I am dying of longing for You. Every touch of my soul by You
wounds me immensely. Love and suffering go together; yet I would not exchange this
pain caused by You for any treasure, because it is the pain of incomprehensible
delights, and these wounds of the soul are inflected by a loving hand.
844 Sister C. 155 came in the afternoon and took me home for the holydays. I was happy to
be reunited with the community. As we were riding through the city [Cracow], I
imagined it was the town of Bethlehem. As I watched all those people hurrying about,
I thought: who is meditating today, in recollection and silence, on this inconceivable
mystery? O pure Virgin, You are traveling today, and so am I. I feel that (227) today‟s
journey has its symbolism. O radiant Virgin, pure as crystal, all immersed in God, I
offer You my spiritual life; arrange everything that it may be pleasing to Your Son. O
my Mother, how ardently I desire that You give me the Infant Jesus during the
Midnight Mass. And I felt such a living presence of God in the depths of my soul, that
it was only be sheer will-power that I restrained my joy in order not to show outwardly
what was going on in my soul.
845 Before the vigil supper, I entered the chapel for a moment to break the wafer spiritually
with those dear to my heart. I presented them all, by name, to Jesus and begged for
graces on their behalf. But that wasn‟t all. I commended to the Lord all those who are
212