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divine-mercy-in-my-soul

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ocks aga<strong>in</strong>st which the <strong>soul</strong> could be shattered. The Lord gave me this grace rather<br />

late, to be sure, but I rejoice <strong>in</strong> it greatly, see<strong>in</strong>g how God <strong>in</strong>cl<strong>in</strong>es his will to <strong>my</strong><br />

director‟s wishes. I will mention just one <strong>in</strong>cident out of a thousand that have<br />

happened to me. As I usually do, I asked the Lord Jesus one even<strong>in</strong>g to give me the<br />

po<strong>in</strong>ts for next day‟s meditation. I received the answer: Meditate on the Prophet<br />

Jonah and his mission. I thanked the Lord, but began to th<strong>in</strong>k with<strong>in</strong> <strong>my</strong>self of how<br />

different that subject was (140) from the others. But with all <strong>my</strong> <strong>soul</strong> I strove to<br />

meditate about it, and I recognized <strong>my</strong>self <strong>in</strong> the person of the prophet, <strong>in</strong> the sense<br />

that often I, too, try to make excuses to the Lord, claim<strong>in</strong>g that someone else would do<br />

His holy will better [than I could], and not understand<strong>in</strong>g that God can do all th<strong>in</strong>gs and<br />

that His omnipotence will be all the more manifest if the tool is poorer. God made this<br />

clear to me <strong>in</strong> the follow<strong>in</strong>g way. That afternoon, there was confession for the<br />

community. When I presented to the director of <strong>my</strong> <strong>soul</strong> the fear that seized me<br />

because of this mission for which God was us<strong>in</strong>g me, clumsy tool that I was, <strong>my</strong><br />

spiritual father answered that, will<strong>in</strong>g or not, we must carry out the will of God, and he<br />

gave me the Prophet Jonah as an example. After the confession, I wondered how the<br />

confessor knew that God had told me to meditate about Jonah; surely I <strong>my</strong>self had not<br />

told him. Then I heard these words: When the priest acts <strong>in</strong> My place, he does not<br />

act of himself, but I act through him. His wishes are M<strong>in</strong>e. I can see how Jesus<br />

defends His representatives. He himself enters <strong>in</strong>to their actions.<br />

332 +Thursday. When I started the Holy Hour, I wanted to immerse <strong>my</strong>self <strong>in</strong> the agony of<br />

Jesus <strong>in</strong> the Garden of Olives. Then I heard a voice <strong>in</strong> <strong>my</strong> <strong>soul</strong>: Meditate on the<br />

<strong>my</strong>stery of the Incarnation. And suddenly the Infant Jesus appeared before me,<br />

radiant with beauty. He told me how much God is pleased with simplicity <strong>in</strong> a <strong>soul</strong>.<br />

Although My greatness is beyond understand<strong>in</strong>g, I commune only with those<br />

who are little. I demand of you a childlike spirit.<br />

333 I now see clearly how God acts through the confessor and how faithfully He keeps His<br />

promises. Two weeks ago, <strong>my</strong> confessor told me to reflect upon this spiritual<br />

childhood. It was somewhat difficult at first, but <strong>my</strong> confessor, disregard<strong>in</strong>g <strong>my</strong><br />

difficulties, told me to cont<strong>in</strong>ue to reflect upon spiritual childhood. “In practice, this<br />

spiritual childhood,” [he said,] “should manifest itself <strong>in</strong> this way: a child does not worry<br />

about the past or the future, but makes use of the present moment. I want to<br />

emphasize that spiritual childlikeness <strong>in</strong> you, Sister, and I place great stress upon it.” I<br />

can see how God bows down to <strong>my</strong> confessor‟s wishes; He does not show Himself to<br />

me at this time as a Teacher <strong>in</strong> the fullness of His strength and human adulthood, but<br />

as a little Child. The God who is beyond all understand<strong>in</strong>g stoops to me under the<br />

appearance of a little Child.<br />

334 But the eye of <strong>my</strong> <strong>soul</strong> does not stop at this appearance. Although You take the form<br />

of a little Child, I see <strong>in</strong> You the immortal, <strong>in</strong>f<strong>in</strong>ite Lord of lords, whom pure spirits<br />

adore, (141) day and night, and for whom the hearts of the Seraphim burn with the fire<br />

of purest love. O Christ, O Jesus, I want to surpass them <strong>in</strong> <strong>my</strong> love for You! I<br />

apologize to you, O pure spirits, for <strong>my</strong> boldness <strong>in</strong> compar<strong>in</strong>g <strong>my</strong>self to you, I, this<br />

chasm of misery, this abyss of misery; and You, O God, who are the<br />

<strong>in</strong>comprehensible abyss of <strong>mercy</strong>, swallow me up as the heat of the sun swallows up<br />

a drop of dew! A lov<strong>in</strong>g look from You will fill up any abyss. I feel immensely happy at<br />

the greatness of God. See<strong>in</strong>g God‟s greatness is more than enough to make me<br />

happy throughout all eternity!<br />

105

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