Personal Statemnent Workbook - Gosford Hill School

Personal Statement
workbook
Tips on how to improve your university application

Personal Statement
workbook
This booklet is designed to help guide you through writing your personal
statement, listing the key information you need to include.
It all seems a little daunting when you first start to write
your personal statement, but once you put pen to paper
you soon realise it’s not; it gets easier. This booklet is
packed with hints and tips on what needs to be included
to help you get those university offers.
Your personal statement is your chance to demonstrate
who you are and why you are a suitable applicant to your
chosen universities and their courses. You can’t spend
too much time preparing your personal statement.
Universities receive thousands of applications every year
and the personal statement can be used as a tool for
selection. This is your opportunity on the application
form to make yourself stand out from other applicants,
therefore it’s crucial that you put the effort into producing
an outstanding statement to ensure you get offered a
place on your chosen courses.
Below: a Computer Games Design student
The University Law Library
Getting started
When writing your personal statement, keep it clear and
concise. Within your personal statement you only have:
• 47 lines
• 4000 characters (not words)
It may sound like plenty of space but you will find, as you write,
it fills very quickly. Therefore, you need to ensure your key
points stand out without repetition.
Points to include
Discuss your chosen Course
Explain why you chose the course/s. Admissions tutors suggest,
overwhelmingly, that they want students to show enthusiasm
about the subjects they want to study. Think about why this
subject interests you and explain in detail.
• Is it a direct path to your chosen career? You may
want to be a teacher and wish to study a degree in
education. It is here that you might talk about your
career aspirations. Why have you chosen to pursue
this career? What has influenced your decision?
• Show you have a good understanding of the course
and you have done your research, for example, you
know what modules you will be studying, any field
trips involved, areas of the course you look forward to
studying, work placement opportunities.
• Why does the subject interest you? Do you want to
gain more knowledge in that area? Is it something you
are passionate about? Are you already studying this
subject, what do you enjoy about it, what skills have
you learnt from it, essay writing, note taking, problem
solving?
• You need to back up your interest by talking about
what you have done to ensure this is the course for
you. Have you read up on the profession, completed
work experience, read additional text outside of the
classroom?
• This may be a problem for those students who have
opted for a diverse range of courses. However,
advice from admissions tutors suggests you refer to
each subject detailing why you are interested and
how they are relevant subjects to your experience.
• If you are applying for a deferred entry then you
might try to explain what you intend to do in the year
between finishing your course and entering University.
An Advice Work lecture
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Media Production student
Show that you have
skills suited to
university life
It is useful to show an admissions tutor that you have what it
takes to survive the university experience. Probably without
realising, you gain skills through your studies and in your own
spare time.
• You may be the Class Rep at school or captain of
a team – this evidence shows responsibility and
commitment.
• You may work part-time – being punctual,
balancing a part-time job with your studies
and social life shows excellent timemanagement
skills. Working part-time develops
communication skills through working with
different colleagues and customers. The role
may be a position of trust, cash handling or
key-holder, being able to work with minimum
supervision and use initiative. What other
activities do you do that help you gain these
skills?
Forensic Science
Show examples of your
personality
Few people are incredibly outgoing, have travelled the
world twice over, been captain of the hockey team and have
completed a period of work experience in exactly the area
suited to their degree/HND.
Be imaginative but honest about the things which you have
experienced and how your interests or responsibilities may set
you apart from other students. Try to be specific by providing
detail or examples.
Think about what you have already achieved and experienced.
The Admissions Tutor will see what kind of person you are and
how you will fit in at university.
• Are you involved in any team sports? How often do
you train? Are you captain? Would you like to continue
this at university through the Students’ Union teams? If
so, have you already looked into this?
To help you get started, fill in the boxes below with information
about yourself that you can include in your personal statement
SUBJECTS – why chosen
SCHOOL/COLLEGE ACTIVITIES
• Are you a volunteer for a charity? Do you help in
your community? Are you a member of the Duke of
Edinburgh’s Award? Have you been involved in the
Prince’s Trust?
• Have you travelled anywhere exciting? How has this
influenced you?
• Do you have any plans for your summer break before
university that may be relevant to your chosen course?
Remember to use this guide to make your Personal
Statement truly personal so do try to add your own
sentences and do not restrict yourself to the suggestions
made.
You also need to be aware that UCAS has a Plagiarist
Detection Service. This ensures that all statements
are personally written and not copied from previous
applications. Your statement will be checked against a
statement library and web sources. Statements showing
a potential level of similarity of 10% or greater, will be
reviewed by the university and applicants will be notified.
The university then makes the decision whether to
consider the applicant for the applied course or to reject
them.
WORK EXPERIENCE
SOCIAL ACTIVITIES
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Finally, make sure that your statement is word perfect with no
spelling or grammatical mistakes. Get someone to read through
it with a fresh pair of eyes.
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Journalism students in the University’s Media Centre
Improving a Personal Statement
Part One: The Before Version
The following student has written a Personal
Statement to support an application to read
History. This is an early draft which needs
improving
I enjoy History lessons so I have decided to pursue the
subject at degree level.
At University I look forward to examining a range of
historical sources. I am particularly interested in French
history and trips to France have broadened my historical
awareness.
As a school prefect I hold many responsibilities
organising and attending school functions, delivering
speeches to the school body, being an active member
of the school council, working effectively with other
students. Having played in school concerts with the
keyboard orchestra when I was in year nine, I have
recently taken up piano lessons.
I am a keen sports player and I am a member of the
school hockey team, netball team, the athletics squad
and the volleyball team, earning me the “Sports
Personality of the Year” award. I have taught information
technology skills to younger students and helped a
particular student to overcome language difficulties. I
have organised sports days and Christmas parties for the
elderly: and written, directed and performed a series of
short plays.
I have always enjoyed reading but more recently my
‘A’ level studies have enabled me to explore foreign
literature.
Currently, I am involved in the European Youth Parliament
Competition in which I will be representing my school
at a residential debating conference. The winner will
represent the United Kingdom in Cyprus. This venture
enhanced my general knowledge (specifically of genetic
engineering and drug legislation).
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Improving a Personal Statement
Part Two: The Improvement made
The Personal Statement to read History has been broken down into a series of
paragraphs with the ‘Before’ paragraph and the ‘After’ (or improved paragraph).
Between these two paragraphs is an analysis of the strengths and weaknesses.
Paragraph 1
Strengths
• Does attempt to start with a reason about the choice
of degree
• Each sentence tries to offer a different point
Weaknesses
• A more insightful reason might be used to explain the
choice of course
• Could state what the student wants out of the Degree
• Could mention which areas of history are of interest
• Words such as history are used twice in one sentence
• The last sentence does not make sense as it does not link
the two separate points
Paragraph 2
Strengths
• Being in a position of responsibility is useful to mention (i.e.
A school prefect)
• Examples are provided about the prefect duties
• Provides an image of a student with varied interests (e.g.
music)
• Quite concise about the musical experience
Weaknesses
• No mention of skills gained from being a school prefect
• Problem in relating school prefect to musical Experience: it
needs a phrase to link the two together
• Omit the reference to Year Nine as it seems that the
experience was too long ago to be relevant given the more
recent responsibilities and experiences
• Has learning the piano really sold the student!
Paragraph 3
Strengths
• Presents an image of an active and well-rounded individual
not just academic.
• Valuable to include a reference to IT at some stage
• Assisting other people presents another aspect of the
student’s personality
Weaknesses
• Too many sentences begin the same way: they nearly all
start with “I”
• Useful to mention the skills gained from participating in
team sports
• Student is unlikely to have helped a child to completely
overcome language difficulties
• Could be more concise about work in the theatre
Paragraph 4
Strengths
• If reading is enjoyable then it is useful to state this in the
Personal Statement
Paragraph 5
Strengths
• Excellent to include role in an academic competition which
involved public speaking
• Useful to be specific: stating the issue discussed in the
competition
Weaknesses
• The competition is important to mention but the prize is
perhaps not so useful
• No mention of the skills gained from having taken part in
the competition
• No link to the degree is made at the end of the paragraph
i.e. no concluding statement
Part Three: ‘The After Version’
Below is an improved version of the personal
statement
I have always been fascinated by the past, beginning
with childhood interests in time-travel and mythology.
This interest continued with student exchanges to
France and Germany, which gave me the opportunity
to study 18 th Century French history and dictatorship
and to widen my historical scope. A trip to France,
where I studied issues relating to the World Wars
confirmed my interest in History and my decision
to pursue the subject at degree level. At University
I look forward to analysing varied interpretations of
history and the original sources upon which they are
based.
As a school prefect I have held many responsibilities
such as organising school events, delivering
speeches, and participating actively on the school
council. The experience has taught me to use my
own initiative and developed my skill of public
speaking and diplomacy. I also involve myself fully
with the school music performances. Having played in
concerts with the keyboard orchestra, I have recently
taken up piano lessons and gained a wider awareness
of music, especially of Debussy and romanticism.
Playing in various school sports teams has earned
me several awards including that of “Sports
Personality of the Year and taught me the importance
of communication. teamwork and self-reliance.
Organising a series of plays and other events for the
elderly was a fulfilling challenge. I also found that the
experience of assisting younger pupils with IT and
language development was extremely rewarding
I have always enjoyed reading, but more recently my
‘A’ level studies have enabled me to explore foreign
literature. Brecht is particularly absorbing for his
insight into the way people attempt to overcome the
horrors of war.
Currently, I am helping to produce a film for the
European Student Travel Company concerning the
career opportunities for young people in Europe.
Also, I represented my school at national selection
conference for the European Youth Parliament. This
venture not only enhanced my general knowledge,
but improved my teamwork, language and debating
skills, which will be particularly useful for my course at
university.
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Accounting students
The following advice should help you write a Personal Statement which is easy to
read and is professionally written. Read the following advice to help you connect
your sentences and paragraphs together as well as help you vary the language
you use in your Personal Statement.
Remember to make sure your Personal Statement is your own
work - UCAS can identify if it isn’t
• In addition
“In addition to my work experience I have gained valuable
skills throughout my voluntary work”
• As well as
“As well as my involvement in team games I am also keen
on playing individual competitive sport”
• Reinforce
“My involvement in the school voluntary programme has
reinforced my decision to study a degree in Nursing”
• Strengthen
“My decision to study a degree in Economics has been
strengthened by my enjoyment and success in my ‘A’ Level
course.”
• Furthermore
“Furthermore, I am particularly suited to a degree in
Chemistry because of my love for the subject and my keen
interest to further my knowledge of the subject.”
• Besides
“Besides my involvement with sports I am also involved in
amateur dramatics.”
• Not to mention
“Being involved in the voluntary work programme not to
mention my work experience has provided an opportunity to
work with a diverse range of people.”
Advice about using “I”
Beginning many sentences with “I” is very easy to do, especially
when writing about yourself. Instead try to create varied
sentences with a range of alternative starting points:
Do not write
I am Captain of the Hockey Team
I enjoy playing sport
I am studying ‘A’ levels in
I enjoy socialising
I have taken part in
I have gained a number of skills
Instead write
Being Captain of the Hockey team
Having enjoyed playing football …………
My “A” level subjects have …………
Socialising is important to me because
Taking part in …………
The skills I have gained from …………
HINT: When choosing your universities go
along to their open days to see it for yourself
• More recently
“Although I have taken part in classical music concerts, more
recently I have decided to learn to play the piano.”
• Enabled me
“The opportunity to play in the school football team
enabled me to work as part of a team.”
• Provided me
“The work experience provided me with an opportunity to
work with a range if people.”
• Opportunity to
“The opportunity to work with people was provided by my
work experience.”
If you want to visit Staffordshire
University we have a number of open
days throughout the year.
You can view these dates and book a place online
www.staffs.ac.uk/visitors/open_days
or call our team t: 01782 292773
10
11

If you want to visit Staffordshire
University we have a number of open
days throughout the year.
You can view these dates and book a place online
www.staffs.ac.uk/visitors/open_days
or call our team t: 01782 292773
M1289 JA 10/08