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Friday, 17 November 2006<br />
Volume 59, Number 11<br />
www.lawweekly.org<br />
INSIDE<br />
Profile of Senator Ted Kennedy...................................................... 2<br />
Mike Stark: The Definitive Response.............................................. 3<br />
Jerry Parker Bids Away His Dignity................................................ 5<br />
PILA Pictorial/Mel the 3L/Faculty Quotes...................................... 8<br />
Scott Dorfman ’07<br />
Executive Editor<br />
<strong>VIRGINIA</strong> <strong>LAW</strong> <strong>WEEKLY</strong><br />
PILA Auction<br />
Raises $40,000<br />
Over 800 UVA Law students,<br />
professors and guests attended<br />
the Public Interest Law Association’s<br />
auction and dance last<br />
Saturday night from 8:00 p.m.<br />
to 1:00 a.m. at the Omni hotel in<br />
downtown Charlottesville. With<br />
the night’s theme being “Vegas,”<br />
students turned out in their most<br />
extravagant suits and cocktail<br />
dresses and bid on hundreds of<br />
items to raise money for PILA’s<br />
student summer fellowships.<br />
According to PILA auction organizers,<br />
over $40,000 was raised<br />
after bidding closed at 12:45 a.m.<br />
Smaller items up for bid included<br />
a haircut from the Hair Cuttery,<br />
two admissions for the introductory<br />
exotic fitness pole dance<br />
program at Shergold Studio, and<br />
two tours of Monticello.<br />
More expensive items up for bid<br />
included two D-22 parking spots,<br />
a two-night stay at the Bellagio<br />
Hotel & Casino in Las Vegas, and<br />
one week’s stay at a seven bedroom<br />
Outer Banks beach house<br />
during grad week. Third-year<br />
student Ajeet Pai made the bid of<br />
the night, spending $3,000 for a<br />
graduation night dinner for six<br />
third-year students and guests<br />
at Professor Anne Coughlin’s<br />
house.<br />
Professors Thomas Nachbar<br />
and Daniel Nagin made a formidable<br />
one-two auctioneer punch<br />
during the live auction, keeping<br />
the bids moving quickly and interspersing<br />
humor throughout<br />
the night. D.J. Andy George and<br />
the Omni’s three cash bars kept<br />
auction attendees entertained<br />
until the final hour.<br />
By all accounts, PILA’s 18th<br />
► PILA page 2<br />
Law Weekly Staff<br />
Wednesday, students of UVA Law<br />
participated in a diversity initiative<br />
by wearing T-shirts displaying the<br />
initiative’s “Safe Space” symbol. The<br />
The Newspaper of the University of Virginia School of Law Since 1948<br />
Role of White House Counsel Examined<br />
Samson Habte ’09<br />
Staff Writer<br />
T-shirt drive was the final step of the<br />
initiative, which began with students’<br />
signing a pledge to support diversity<br />
in the Law School. More than 400<br />
students signed the pledge, and it<br />
appeared that almost as many wore<br />
their T-shirts on Wednesday.<br />
“It’s been very exciting to walk<br />
around the halls today and see so<br />
many people wearing these shirts,”<br />
said third-year Erin Williamson,<br />
one of the student-organizers of the<br />
event.<br />
The pledge was a student-driven<br />
initiative. Some of those instrumental<br />
were Frank Thorn, who developed<br />
the original idea and designed the<br />
shirt; Kate Woodrow, who designed<br />
the advertisements; Justin Zelikovitz<br />
and Aaron Coombs, who developed<br />
the text of the pledge; Rob Glass,<br />
who dealt with the financial details;<br />
and numerous Lambda Law Alliance<br />
members who helped provide the<br />
personnel needed to make the event<br />
a success.<br />
Sponsoring the initiative were Weil,<br />
Gotshal, and Manges; Arnold & Porter;<br />
Latham & Watkins; Cadwalader,<br />
Wickersham & Taft; Schiff Hardin;<br />
As Deputy White House Counsel<br />
during President Bush’s first term, David<br />
G. Leitch was given the least enviable<br />
task during deliberations over<br />
appointments to the federal bench.<br />
While interviewing prospective<br />
nominees late in the process, Leitch<br />
had to “clear the room” and commence<br />
the “sex-drugs-and-rock-androll<br />
discussion.”<br />
The minor indignity of being forced<br />
to divulge youthful (or not so youthful)<br />
indiscretions is something all aspiring<br />
federal judges must undergo,<br />
according to an assortment of distinguished<br />
lawyers who gathered at the<br />
Law School last week to talk about the<br />
job of White House Counsel.<br />
The Lloyd N. Cutler Conference<br />
on White House Counsel, a two-day<br />
event hosted by the Law School and<br />
the Miller Center of Public Affairs last<br />
Friday and Saturday, featured a venerable<br />
array of White House lawyers<br />
from all but two presidential administrations<br />
since 1960.<br />
Rifling through FBI files was a persistent<br />
recollection for several lawyers<br />
on a panel discussing judicial selection<br />
that was moderated by Dean Jeffries.<br />
“I frequently found, in the material<br />
supplied, cases in which people had<br />
done things that were not right,” said<br />
Peter J. Walliston, a counsel in the<br />
Reagan White House.<br />
Vetting potential judges is, of<br />
course, just one of the weighty duties<br />
of the office, and some of the other<br />
challenges addressed by panelists<br />
were unique to the administrations<br />
they served in.<br />
President Carter’s Deputy White<br />
House Counsel Joseph Onek spoke<br />
about “the Billy Carter affair,” an unpleasant<br />
scandal involving the presidential<br />
brother’s ill-advised lobbying<br />
on behalf of Libyan dictator Muammar<br />
Gaddafi.<br />
Onek’s recollections included a<br />
swipe at former New York Times columnist<br />
William Safire, whose “vicious”<br />
criticism contributed to a press<br />
frenzy that deepened the controversy.<br />
Disappointment with the Fourth<br />
Estate was an issue that seemed to engender<br />
a level of bipartisan solidarity<br />
among the invited guests.<br />
Walliston recalled that the Washington<br />
Post and the New York Times<br />
each ran more than 500 stories in the<br />
► CONFERENCE page 5<br />
Harrison Foresees Constitutional Conflicts<br />
Andrew Christensen ’08<br />
Associate News Editor<br />
In a noon-hour presentation at the<br />
Law School on Monday, UVA Law professor<br />
John Harrison shared his views<br />
on the United States government’s<br />
unique embodiment of the separation<br />
of powers principle, and discussed<br />
some modern-day constitutional law<br />
ramifications that the nation’s founding<br />
fathers were unlikely to have intended<br />
or anticipated.<br />
The event, entitled “The House<br />
Speaker as Acting President, Senator<br />
Lindsey Graham as Military Judge,<br />
and the Constitution's Separation<br />
of Personnel and Power,” was sponsored<br />
by UVA Law’s chapter of the<br />
Federalist Society.<br />
Harrison, a 13-year member of the<br />
Law School faculty and a specialist<br />
in constitutional and administrative<br />
law matters, began his speech with<br />
an overview of the mechanisms in<br />
the federal constitution that work<br />
indirectly to mandate the American<br />
separation of powers regime. He<br />
noted that the federal constitution,<br />
unlike some state constitutions, does<br />
not have a clause explicitly barring<br />
the simultaneous exercise of judicial,<br />
legislative, or executive power by one<br />
entity. Instead, it “produces a system<br />
photo by Samson Habte '09<br />
Former White House counsels share their experiences with students.<br />
of separation of powers through a series<br />
of more concrete rules that must<br />
be added up” to arrive at the conclusion<br />
that each branch of government<br />
is to carry out its exclusive role free of<br />
undue influence or interference from<br />
another branch.<br />
Harrison described Article I, Section<br />
VI of the Constitution as putting<br />
forth the basic rules for separation<br />
of powers. Known as the Incompatibility<br />
Clause, the text is widely construed<br />
to prohibit a sitting member<br />
of Congress from holding any office<br />
under the authority of the executive<br />
or judicial branch.<br />
► HARRISON page 4<br />
Students Show Support for Diversity Initiative<br />
photo by Erin Williamson '07<br />
Students donned "Safe Space" T-shirts on Wednesday to show<br />
support for tolerance.<br />
and Dewey Ballantine; as well as<br />
NGSL and the SBA. Dean Ballenger<br />
was also integral to coordinating the<br />
initiative.<br />
Those involved in organizing the<br />
drive are already planning a similar<br />
event for next year, possibly in conjunction<br />
with student groups on main<br />
campus.<br />
“We hope that we have started a<br />
UVA tradition that can continue for<br />
years to come,” said third-year Robin<br />
Cook, who also helped to organize<br />
the pledge drive. “None of that would<br />
have happened without the support<br />
of the community, and for that, we<br />
are grateful.”<br />
“Obviously we wish that the events<br />
that prompted this campaign never<br />
happened,” said Cook. “But seeing<br />
how the school has supported tolerance<br />
in the context of these events is<br />
incredible. In many ways, I’ve never<br />
been prouder to go to UVA Law.”<br />
around north<br />
grounds<br />
night.<br />
Congratulations to<br />
third-year Melanie<br />
Wilson on her engagement<br />
to Ankur<br />
Rughani Saturday<br />
Congratulations to<br />
first-year Michael<br />
Seeligson on his promotion<br />
to Associate<br />
Production Editor of<br />
the Law Weekly.<br />
Thumbs down to the<br />
couple that consistently<br />
makes out and<br />
gets all touchy-feely<br />
in the library. ANG would<br />
rather study than watch those<br />
soft-core moves.<br />
Thumbs up to a certain<br />
professor who<br />
sent a suspiciouslytimed,<br />
incoherent<br />
email to his class. ANG would<br />
salute you here, but will probably<br />
just see you at bar review<br />
this week.<br />
Thumbs down to<br />
Libel Show writing<br />
groups that break up.<br />
It’s not a relationship,<br />
it’s humor, although probably<br />
for some of you, your relationships<br />
are jokes, too.<br />
PILA Wrap Up:<br />
Thumbs down to<br />
whoever didn’t ensure<br />
that there were<br />
enough bartenders,<br />
causing ridiculously long<br />
lines for overpriced drinks.<br />
But thumbs up to the law students<br />
who were resourceful<br />
enough to find the “hidden”<br />
hotel bar. Like a horse that can<br />
always find its way home, you<br />
all found a place to drink with<br />
ease.<br />
Big thumbs down to<br />
the Omni for confiscating<br />
a student’s<br />
flask. See above for<br />
why students brought flasks.<br />
Then give them back!<br />
Thumbs up to the<br />
third-year who got<br />
fed up with the ridiculously<br />
long cab<br />
lines after PILA and bought a<br />
room at the hotel. ANG is not<br />
quite sure how you had any<br />
money left after Professors<br />
Nachbar and Nagin finished<br />
shaking down the crowd like<br />
made men would have done.<br />
Trains on time: Professors<br />
Bonnie and<br />
Smith have been<br />
keeping their firstyear<br />
Criminal Law classes late.
2 Features<br />
<strong>VIRGINIA</strong> <strong>LAW</strong> <strong>WEEKLY</strong><br />
Friday, 17 November 2006<br />
Edward Kennedy '59: Liberal Lion<br />
Alec Zadek ’08<br />
Staff Writer<br />
Scott Dorfman<br />
Executive Editor<br />
Toby Mergler<br />
Columns Editor<br />
Ulrick Casseus<br />
Reviews Editor<br />
Virginia<br />
Law Weekly<br />
COLOPHON<br />
John Kabealo<br />
Editor-in-Chief<br />
Drew Snyder<br />
Managing Editor<br />
Chris Tucker<br />
News Editor<br />
Josephine Liu<br />
Production Editor<br />
Tim McCarten<br />
Features Editor<br />
Anna Nisbet<br />
Photography Editor<br />
Andrew McCarthy<br />
Stephanie Weitzner<br />
Treasurer<br />
Business Editor<br />
John Sheehan<br />
Web Editor<br />
Andrew Christensen<br />
Associate News Editor<br />
Lauren Rogoff<br />
Associate Photography Editor<br />
Contributors:<br />
Columnists:<br />
Reviewers:<br />
Michael Seeligson<br />
Associate Production Editor<br />
Stephanie Weitzner<br />
Associate Columns Editor<br />
Samson Habte, Alec Zadek<br />
Dan Balserak, Beth Cooper, Samson Habte,<br />
Jerry Parker, Grace Su<br />
Marc Centor, Jeff Miller, Craig Smith<br />
Published weekly on Friday except during holiday and examination periods and serving the<br />
Law School community at the University of Virginia, the Virginia Law Weekly (ISSN 0042-661X) is not<br />
an official publication of the University and does not necessarily express the views of the University.<br />
Any article appearing herein may be reproduced provided that credit is given to both the Virginia Law<br />
Weekly and the author of the article. Advanced written permission of the Virginia Law Weekly is also<br />
required for reproduction of any cartoon or illustration.<br />
Virginia Law Weekly<br />
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University of Virginia School of Law<br />
Charlottesville, Virginia 22903-1789<br />
Phone: 434.924.3070<br />
Fax: 434.924.7536<br />
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www.lawweekly.org<br />
EDITORIAL POLICY: The Virginia Law Weekly publishes letters and columns of interest to the Law<br />
School and the legal community at large. Views expressed in such submissions are those of the author(s)<br />
and not necessarily those of the Law Weekly or the Editorial Board. Letters from organizations must bear<br />
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guidelines, we regret that not all submissions received can be published.<br />
In 1956, Edward Kennedy<br />
enrolled in the University of<br />
Virginia School of Law. At the<br />
age of 24, Kennedy had already<br />
served two years in the army<br />
and graduated with an undergraduate<br />
degree from Harvard<br />
College. While at Harvard, Kennedy<br />
was recruited by the Green<br />
Bay Packers. He famously declined<br />
the offer, saying he was<br />
flattered, but that he had plans<br />
to attend law school and to “go<br />
into another contact sport, politics.”<br />
Although Kennedy did not<br />
have the opportunity to write<br />
for the Virginia Journal of International<br />
Law, which was established<br />
in 1963, he was President<br />
of the Student Legal Forum and<br />
winner of the Lile Moot Court<br />
Competition.<br />
During his years of study at<br />
the Law School, Kennedy enjoyed<br />
having a brief description<br />
and picture in the second annual<br />
Barrister, where his last name<br />
was misspelled (it was later corrected<br />
in the ’59 edition), and<br />
was a second-year student when<br />
the first African-American law<br />
student graduated from the University<br />
of Virginia School of Law<br />
(John F. Merchant ’58).<br />
Rather than hear the clank of<br />
aluminum softball bats as students<br />
exited the Law School,<br />
Kennedy was most likely greeted<br />
by the soft thuds of touch<br />
football, which was the predominant<br />
Law School sport at the<br />
time. As a prospect for the Green<br />
Bay Packers, Kennedy was most<br />
likely a highly recruited player<br />
for these games.<br />
Kennedy passed the bar in<br />
Massachusetts after graduation<br />
and was appointed assistant district<br />
attorney for Suffolk County,<br />
Mass. Three years after graduation<br />
he won a special election<br />
for the U.S. Senate, winning the<br />
seat that his older brother, John<br />
Kennedy, vacated in his successful<br />
bid for the presidency.<br />
In his first two years, Sen. Kennedy<br />
became the Senate majority<br />
whip, becoming the secondranking<br />
member of the majority<br />
political party in the Senate. After<br />
serving the remaining two<br />
years of Sen. John Kennedy’s<br />
term, Sen. Edward Kennedy<br />
was re-elected and has retained<br />
his seat ever since. For a period<br />
of time in the 1970s Sen. Kennedy<br />
received pressure from the<br />
Democratic Party to run for the<br />
presidency, and finally entered<br />
the race in 1980 in opposition<br />
to incumbent Democratic President<br />
Jimmy Carter.<br />
Although it’s highly unusual<br />
for a sitting president to face a<br />
challenge from another member<br />
of his party, Kennedy enjoyed<br />
some early success against<br />
President Carter. Kennedy’s<br />
campaign faltered before long,<br />
however, winning only 10 state<br />
primaries. At the Democratic<br />
National Convention in 1980,<br />
Kennedy delivered the oft-quoted<br />
line: “For me, a few hours<br />
ago, this campaign came to an<br />
end. For all those whose cares<br />
have been our concern, the work<br />
goes on, the cause endures, the<br />
hope still lives, and the dream<br />
shall never die.”<br />
After withdrawing his bid for<br />
the presidency, Sen. Kennedy<br />
continued his illustrious career<br />
in the Senate.<br />
As Senator for the Commonwealth<br />
of Massachusetts, Senator<br />
Kennedy is the second-most<br />
senior member of the Senate,<br />
and one the most respected<br />
Democrats in the country. Sen.<br />
Kennedy has been outspoken<br />
in his support for civil rights,<br />
education reform, immigration<br />
reform, minimum wage, heath<br />
care reform, and many other issues.<br />
Sen. Kennedy has devoted his<br />
career to representing his constituents<br />
and political party; he<br />
is one of very few senators to<br />
publicly support same-sex marriages,<br />
which are sanctioned by<br />
the Commonwealth of Massachusetts.<br />
Although Senator Kennedy<br />
often receives harsh criticism<br />
from Republican pundits for<br />
his outspoken opposition to the<br />
war in Iraq and Republican policies,<br />
he has developed a strong<br />
foundation of voter support in<br />
Senator Edward M. Kennedy graduated<br />
from UVA Law in 1959.<br />
photo courtesy of UVA Law Library<br />
Massachusetts and was recently<br />
re-elected for the seventh time.<br />
On November 7, 2006, Kennedy<br />
defeated his Republican challenger<br />
Kenneth Chase by a margin<br />
of 69% to 31%.<br />
In the now Democratic-controlled<br />
Senate, Kennedy will<br />
serve as Chairman of the Committee<br />
on Health, Education, Labor,<br />
and Pensions. Among other<br />
issues to which Senator Kennedy<br />
has committed himself in the<br />
coming 110th Congress, the senior<br />
senator from Massachusetts<br />
will lead the push to raise the<br />
minimum wage from $5.15/hr.<br />
to $7.25/hr. He has also pledged<br />
to reform the U.S. health care<br />
and education systems.<br />
Time magazine recently named<br />
Kennedy one of “America’s 10<br />
Best Senators,” noting that he<br />
had “amassed a titanic record of<br />
legislation affecting the lives of<br />
virtually every man, woman and<br />
child in the country.”<br />
A Thank You to the Law School Community<br />
On June 18 of this year, Mary Reaves of the Law School staff lost her son. Many in the<br />
Law School community learned of the tragic incident and showed support for Mary and her<br />
family, including a first-year who sent flowers. Mary asked that the following message be<br />
delivered to the Law School community:<br />
We shall always remember<br />
With deep gratitude<br />
Your comforting expression of sympathy<br />
—The Reaves Family
Friday, 17 November 2006<br />
Letter to the Editor: Stark Speaks Out<br />
Until now, the definitive narrative<br />
of my interaction with the Allen<br />
campaign has not been written.<br />
Because I respect this law school,<br />
my fellow students, the faculty and<br />
alumni, I decided to grant first publication<br />
rights to the Virginia Law<br />
Weekly.<br />
First, you should be aware of the<br />
undisputed factual background I<br />
was working with:<br />
1. Senator Allen posed for pictures<br />
with white supremacists.<br />
2. He kept a Confederate flag and<br />
a noose in his office.<br />
3. He opposed an official holiday<br />
to celebrate Martin Luther King’s<br />
birthday, but signed into law a celebration<br />
of the Confederacy, and in<br />
so doing, angered many black leaders<br />
because of his pointed refusal to<br />
speak of slavery while commemorating<br />
the holiday.<br />
4. The Senator called a fellow<br />
UVA Student by the racial slur “macaca.”<br />
I pondered all of the above and<br />
wondered if the Senator used any<br />
other slurs. I was especially curious<br />
with regards to one particular slur<br />
because it has such relevance to the<br />
history of this country.<br />
Unfortunately, what I thought<br />
to be a sensible question was never<br />
asked by anyone in the press, or if it<br />
was, it wasn’t reported. I learned the<br />
Senator would be in Staunton on<br />
August 29 and decided I’d ask him<br />
personally.<br />
I listened politely to the Senator’s<br />
speech and the Q&A session that<br />
followed. Afterward, the Senator<br />
lingered in the room to kibitz with<br />
constituents. I approached the Senator<br />
and in a very respectful way,<br />
asked him if he had ever used the<br />
word “nigger” and why he owned<br />
a Confederate flag and noose. Allen<br />
told me that he never used the<br />
n-word in his life. He avoided the<br />
questions about the noose and the<br />
Confederate flag. (The audio of this<br />
exchange can be heard at my blog,<br />
CallingAllWingnuts, and a video of<br />
the exchange can be found on You-<br />
Tube. In it, you will see the Senator<br />
facing me, with his hands on my<br />
shoulders, engaging in a reasoned<br />
discussion.)<br />
The Senator’s answer left many<br />
people incredulous and, I believe,<br />
set off a flurry of investigations,<br />
most notably by Michael Scherer<br />
at Salon magazine, that resulted in<br />
several people coming forward to<br />
say that George Allen had been a<br />
frequent user of that slur.<br />
After the Staunton event, two issues<br />
relevant to the Senator’s character<br />
surfaced. The first, that he had<br />
► PILA<br />
continued from page 1<br />
Money Raised to<br />
Fund Fellowships<br />
annual auction was another success,<br />
which is a tribute to the<br />
hard work of PILA president<br />
Kelly Voss and event organizers<br />
Dania Davy, Vera Gerrity, Matt<br />
VanWormer, Kira Walmer, and<br />
Amy Woolard.<br />
Students expressed satisfaction<br />
with the night’s events.<br />
“Man oh man, that was some<br />
auction,” said third-year Joseph<br />
Zihal.<br />
The money raised will be used<br />
to help fund fellowships for students<br />
working in public interest<br />
law during the summer of 2007.<br />
In 2006, 59 UVA Law students<br />
received student-funded fellowships.<br />
been twice arrested in Charlottesville,<br />
was ignored by the press. The<br />
second, that there were strong suspicions<br />
that he had abused his first<br />
wife, was similarly ignored.<br />
It was difficult for me to understand<br />
how Allen could tell his constituents<br />
to ignore his arrest record.<br />
This made no sense. I’ve hired for<br />
positions of responsibility. If an applicant<br />
told me that he had an arrest<br />
record but refused to talk about it or<br />
provide documentary evidence . . .<br />
well, I’d be more suspicious, not less.<br />
I’d certainly hire someone else.<br />
I also had difficulty fathoming<br />
how he could make Jim Webb’s<br />
treatment of women in the 1980s<br />
an issue while expecting to escape<br />
scrutiny of his own, similar failures.<br />
Why shouldn’t the Senator be asked<br />
about widely discussed rumors concerning<br />
abuse in his first marriage?<br />
The press certainly had no problem<br />
discussing a blue dress when that<br />
was merely a rumor.<br />
So, on Halloween, I attended the<br />
Allen rally in Charlottesville. Once<br />
again I waited for the conclusion of<br />
his speech. Afterward, while he was<br />
mingling with constituents, I asked,<br />
“Senator Allen, the Democrats have<br />
made this election about accountability.<br />
You can shut them up by<br />
telling us why you were arrested in<br />
the 1970s.” Immediately, his staff<br />
set upon me—pushing and pulling<br />
me in all directions. I continued,<br />
“Senator, is it true that you spit on or<br />
otherwise assaulted your first wife?”<br />
We spilled through a doorway. I was<br />
pushed again. I approached Dan Allen,<br />
the staffer who had just pushed<br />
me, and asked, “Why are you putting<br />
your hands on me? He’s my<br />
senator, I’m his constituent and I’ve<br />
got a right to ask these questions.”<br />
Allen supporters began pushing me<br />
backwards. The Senator walked<br />
away from me, down a hall. At that<br />
time, in order to be sure the Senator<br />
could hear me, I was forced to raise<br />
my voice for the first and only time.<br />
I asked, “Senator, is it true that you<br />
spit on your first wife?”<br />
Unfortunately, that’s the scene<br />
that was broadcast into millions of<br />
homes.<br />
I attended another Allen event<br />
in Staunton the following Saturday<br />
because I believe it’s important to<br />
demonstrate that political intimidation<br />
and violence will not dissuade<br />
patriotic Americans from engaging<br />
in the political process.<br />
By now you probably know that<br />
I was handcuffed and placed in the<br />
back seat of a waiting police car.<br />
Because I am still exploring legal<br />
options, I am unwilling to detail<br />
everything I know, but this much is<br />
certain: I was set up.<br />
You should know that until handcuffed,<br />
I behaved with extraordinary<br />
restraint. For example, at one<br />
point I walked by a man in his seventies.<br />
He shouted, loudly enough<br />
to turn heads, “Hey, young man!<br />
You keep your damned hands off my<br />
wife. If you touch her again…” From<br />
that point forward, I kept my hands<br />
tucked into my armpits.<br />
I’ve written this story because I<br />
think it is important you know what<br />
you have seen on your television<br />
and in your newspapers does not<br />
give an accurate and complete story.<br />
It’s unfortunate that the question I<br />
asked about spousal abuse trumped<br />
the question regarding the Senator’s<br />
undisputed arrest record. I wish our<br />
media provided context by reporting<br />
my history of questioning the Senator<br />
in a respectful manner. Instead,<br />
my questions were most often portrayed<br />
as a rude form of heckling.<br />
Finally, I’d like to address some<br />
statements I’ve read.<br />
<strong>VIRGINIA</strong> <strong>LAW</strong> <strong>WEEKLY</strong> Features & Student Life 3<br />
To those that suggest my issues<br />
aren’t relevant, I ask: under what<br />
regulatory authority are you burdened<br />
with deciding which issues<br />
should be important to me?<br />
Whether my senator is a racist,<br />
spouse abuser and/or criminal is<br />
of absolute vital importance to me.<br />
I wouldn’t trust such a person to<br />
make decisions about Iraq or illegal<br />
immigration or anything else, for<br />
that matter.<br />
Some suggest I could have done<br />
better walking a precinct or manning<br />
a phone bank. I suggest a look<br />
at the election returns. I am certain<br />
that the n-word accusations made a<br />
difference in Northern Virginia, and<br />
I believe the Allen campaign’s Halloween<br />
violence also contributed<br />
to Webb’s margin of victory. Sometimes<br />
we can do more than hang a<br />
lawn sign, and when we can, I believe<br />
we should.<br />
I’m certain some of you find what<br />
I did irresponsible, reprehensible, or<br />
worse. I will not endeavor to change<br />
your mind. Instead, let me leave you<br />
with this: I will forever defend the<br />
right of any citizen of this country<br />
to demand answers from any representative.<br />
I believe campaigns<br />
should be a crucible through which<br />
only the best pass. All candidates<br />
for office should be forced to walk<br />
this gauntlet so that every voice,<br />
supportive and, especially, unsupportive,<br />
can be heard and given due<br />
consideration. The age of elections<br />
being decided by contemptible 30-<br />
second attack ads should be put behind<br />
us at the earliest opportunity.<br />
Many Americans say we are on<br />
the “wrong track.” As remedy, we<br />
should look first not to our politicians,<br />
but to ourselves. We have<br />
rights and duties as citizens. If we<br />
neglect them, we get the government<br />
we deserve.<br />
—————<br />
I have been labeled a “heckler,” a<br />
“protestor,” and a “radical.”<br />
First, the characterization of<br />
me as a “heckler” or “protestor” is<br />
flawed. I’ve never interrupted the<br />
Senator—not while he was making<br />
a speech, or even small talk with<br />
other constituents. I, in every encounter,<br />
waited my turn to ask him<br />
my questions.<br />
I’d also like to address exactly<br />
how “radical” I am. Most of us were<br />
taught civics in grade school. We<br />
were encouraged to write our representatives,<br />
to suggest bills, and to<br />
vote. We were taught that our public<br />
servants were actually employees<br />
that we collectively hire through the<br />
electoral process.<br />
Eventually I learned that life isn’t<br />
exactly as they teach. Today you<br />
aren’t going to meet with your senator<br />
without a $5,000 check in your<br />
hand—unless you catch him in the<br />
six months out of every six years<br />
that he’s asking for your vote. Even<br />
then, if you aren’t a supporter, he<br />
doesn’t want to hear from you.<br />
Let’s think about that for a second,<br />
in a non-partisan way. In the<br />
most gerrymandered districts where<br />
incumbents regularly win with 60%<br />
support, our representatives ignore,<br />
by choice, 4 out of 10 constituents.<br />
Is that the America you want?<br />
I prefer the U.S.A. they told me<br />
about in the fourth grade. I will take<br />
my rightful role as citizen of this<br />
great country. I will participate in<br />
my democracy and I will demand<br />
accountability from my elected officials.<br />
I don’t think that’s very radical at<br />
all.<br />
Mike Stark ’09<br />
Rather than give you vague,<br />
touchy-feely advice on how to conquer<br />
the next several weeks, we<br />
have decided to answer the most<br />
commonly asked questions about<br />
outlining, studying, and exams.<br />
(And yes, there is some touchyfeely<br />
advice in here as well. We<br />
can’t help ourselves.)<br />
Question: Where is the exam<br />
bank?<br />
Answer: Some old exams can be<br />
found in the reference room of the<br />
library (on your left as soon as you<br />
come through the main library<br />
doors), and others are on LawWeb<br />
(after you log in, the “Past Exams”<br />
link is under the “Library” heading).<br />
If you have a new professor,<br />
don’t be afraid to ask for a sample<br />
exam or some sample questions.<br />
Most professors are willing to give<br />
some guidance on exams.<br />
Question: How do I get my<br />
hands on old outlines?<br />
Answer: If your Peer Advisors<br />
haven’t already sent you some<br />
outlines, just ask them and they<br />
will do what they can to get you<br />
one. Those of you with new professors<br />
may have trouble finding<br />
a professor-specific outline. Use<br />
outlines from another professor’s<br />
class with caution, because each<br />
professor structures his/her class<br />
very differently. Also, be sure to<br />
check your professor’s policy on<br />
using outlines that are not your<br />
own. (Some professors only allow<br />
students to use outlines they have<br />
created on their own; others will<br />
allow you to use outlines made by<br />
other students.)<br />
Question: How do I outline?<br />
Answer: There are so many different<br />
ways to do this—you might<br />
want to look over a few different<br />
outlines to get a feel for some of<br />
the more common methods of outlining.<br />
In addition, many students<br />
approach outlining differently,<br />
depending on the type of course.<br />
Sometimes it is helpful just to get<br />
started outlining; as you work<br />
your way through your notes, you<br />
will get a sense of what will work<br />
for that particular class.<br />
Question: How do I get an<br />
“A”?<br />
Answer: We wish we could help<br />
you, but there is not really an answer<br />
to this question. Each professor<br />
looks at different criteria<br />
when assigning grades, and there<br />
is no magic formula. In addition,<br />
each professor has a different<br />
grade distribution; some give a<br />
high percentage of “B+”s, while<br />
others have a more even distribution<br />
along the curve. In the end,<br />
grades are fairly subjective. Our<br />
advice is to not worry too much<br />
about grades during exam time.<br />
Instead, concentrate on learning<br />
the material.<br />
Question: What if I get a bad<br />
grade?<br />
Answer: Ask any 3L and they<br />
will tell you that one grade will<br />
never make or break your Law<br />
School experience. Besides,<br />
grades aren’t even due from professors<br />
until early next semester,<br />
so there is no point in worrying<br />
about them now.<br />
Question: How many hours a<br />
day should I be studying?<br />
Answer: Again, there is no decisive<br />
answer to this question.<br />
You are probably starting to get<br />
sick of us saying that, but if you<br />
don’t believe us, ask another 2L<br />
or 3L. Comparing your study habits<br />
to those of other students will<br />
only drive you nuts. In this sense,<br />
studying for exams is no different<br />
from the rest of the semester: you<br />
should do whatever works for you.<br />
That said, it is very, very important<br />
to take care of yourself during exams.<br />
Exam period is stretched over<br />
two weeks so you just can’t study<br />
all day, everyday for the whole period.<br />
And studying 19 hours a day<br />
and sleeping for five is a straight<br />
path to self-destruction. Do what<br />
you need to do to stay level-headed,<br />
happy and healthy. Try to not<br />
let yourself get overwhelmed by<br />
continuing to get enough sleep,<br />
eat well, exercise regularly, and<br />
spend time with your friends.<br />
Glannon doesn’t count.<br />
Question: What if I have a<br />
substantive question?<br />
Answer: Professors are very<br />
amenable to meeting with students<br />
and answering questions.<br />
We suggest talking to your professor<br />
sooner rather than later because<br />
many professors are more<br />
comfortable giving their answers<br />
while you all are still in class so<br />
they don’t give some students<br />
an advantage on the exam. That<br />
said, quite a few professors have<br />
office hours during Reading or<br />
Exam Period. Another approach<br />
is to talk over questions with<br />
your fellow students. Chances are<br />
someone will have clear notes on<br />
the subject. Study groups can be<br />
especially helpful for going over<br />
sample exams and practicing issue-spotting.<br />
You can also talk to<br />
upperclassmen, especially your<br />
Peer Advisors, your Dillards, or<br />
us. We’ll all be more than happy<br />
to share advice and answer questions<br />
the best we can.<br />
Question: What if I am just<br />
freaking out?<br />
Answer: One of the best things<br />
about UVA Law is that there is<br />
no shortage of resources available.<br />
Sometimes all you need is<br />
a little reassurance; sometimes<br />
you need something more. Either<br />
way, make sure to find someone in<br />
whom you feel comfortable confiding.<br />
Talk to your friends, family,<br />
Peer Advisors or the two of us.<br />
Dean Ballenger is a fantastic resource<br />
and will always keep your<br />
concerns completely confidential.<br />
Finally, the University offers many<br />
counseling and psychological<br />
services through CAPS. You can<br />
see an overview of their services<br />
at http://www.virginia.edu/studenthealth/caps.html.<br />
Counseling<br />
professionals are available for<br />
appointments and for emergency<br />
services. All enrolled students are<br />
entitled to free consultations with<br />
CAPS staff. When appropriate,<br />
the staff at CAPS can refer you to<br />
other resources either on grounds<br />
or in the Charlottesville private<br />
practice community.<br />
Question: Any other advice?<br />
Answer: Try to keep things in<br />
perspective. Law school is important,<br />
but it is not the be-all, end-all<br />
of life. It’s all about balancing, so<br />
definitely remember to make time<br />
over Thanksgiving break to spend<br />
with friends and family. The couple<br />
of extra study hours you could<br />
cram in next Thursday won’t make<br />
any real difference in the long<br />
run, so just forget about exams for<br />
a while and enjoy your well-deserved,<br />
post-turkey nap.
4 Columns & Features<br />
<strong>VIRGINIA</strong> <strong>LAW</strong> <strong>WEEKLY</strong><br />
Friday, 17 November 2006<br />
The Democrats were beginning<br />
a long-denied victory lap last week<br />
when Karl Rove, genius that he is,<br />
conspired with Brit<br />
and K-Fed to rob<br />
them of it. The story<br />
of the couple’s<br />
alleged marital woes threatened to<br />
siphon away precious media coverage<br />
that Democrats planned to<br />
fill with Rahm Emanuel’s preening<br />
or Howard Dean’s chest-thumping<br />
and primordial screaming.<br />
Super-secret (non-existent)<br />
sources tell me that The Architect<br />
spent Election Night at the couple’s<br />
Kentwood, Louisiana mansion,<br />
where he watched the devastating<br />
returns roll in and cajoled the<br />
pliant simpletons into concocting<br />
the whole phony story. The cable<br />
infotainment-mongers, from Bill<br />
O’Reilly to Keith Olbermann, were<br />
powerless in the face of the alluring<br />
pop-culture sideshow. You have to<br />
give the people what they want, and<br />
the people want celebrity news.<br />
Rove, you brilliant bastard! He<br />
knew Britney would sign on. She<br />
demonstrated her fealty to President<br />
Bush in 2002, when she told<br />
Carson Daly: “Honestly, I think we<br />
should just trust our president in every<br />
decision that he makes, and we<br />
should just support that, you know,<br />
and be faithful in what happens.” A<br />
more loyal GOP foot-soldier could<br />
not be found.<br />
But the ongoing ruse hasn’t had<br />
the impact that Bush’s Brain had<br />
SBA Notebook: Bring Back That Law School Spirit!<br />
Jerry Parker ’08<br />
SBA Treasurer<br />
Britney Spears: Republican Operative?<br />
Samson Habte '09<br />
Columnist<br />
It is well-known around these<br />
parts that UVA is the best law school<br />
on the planet. We have the best students,<br />
the coolest professors, and the<br />
most fun. We regularly dominate the<br />
likes of Harvard and Yale in lawyerly<br />
pursuits such as softball and binge<br />
drinking. Darden students fear us.<br />
Undergrads want to be us. Popped<br />
collars wilt wherever we’re near. Yep,<br />
it’s a pretty sweet existence we enjoy<br />
around here, which in part explains<br />
our failure to recognize a painfully<br />
obvious way to augment our own<br />
sweetness. No longer, my friends,<br />
no longer. The Law School needs a<br />
mascot.<br />
I realize there will be some dissention.<br />
Double ’Hoos will cite our<br />
allegiance to the venerable Cavalier,<br />
who is guiding the football team so<br />
effectively these days. Some will<br />
claim that we should be represented<br />
by the Wahoo, a fish that can drink<br />
twice its weight in liquid, preferably<br />
alcoholic. But who are they kidding?<br />
Fish aren’t sweet! (Unless sharks<br />
are fish, in which case some fish are<br />
really sweet.) Others will say that<br />
Adam Wolk is a perfectly good mascot,<br />
thank you very much. Sorry,<br />
folks. Wolk is going to graduate, and<br />
chances are strong that it will happen<br />
in the next three or four years.<br />
The Law School needs to forge its<br />
own competitive identity, one that<br />
speaks to not only our fun-loving<br />
reputation, but also our deep commitment<br />
to the study of law. (I hope<br />
my professors read that—they’ll die<br />
laughing.) We need something that<br />
clearly reflects our utter sweetness,<br />
as well as our tolerance for certain<br />
things that aren’t so sweet. Like<br />
hotels that give us two bartenders<br />
for one of the biggest parties of the<br />
year. (Harvard Law students would<br />
have burned the Omni to the ground<br />
hoped. The liberal print media<br />
insisted on prioritizing election<br />
coverage, filling their pinko pages<br />
with unwelcome stories about GOP<br />
recriminations. The Washington<br />
Post, for example, continued to viciously<br />
feast on the rotting carcass<br />
of George Allen’s political career,<br />
running several above-the-fold stories<br />
about our fellow Hoo’s tragic<br />
demise. A 50-point font headline<br />
trumpeting Jim Webb’s success was<br />
accompanied by an instantly iconic<br />
photograph of the Warrior-Turned-<br />
War-Critic hoisting his Marine son’s<br />
combat boots in the air at a victory<br />
rally in Arlington.<br />
Like an annoying younger sibling,<br />
the war in Iraq continues to attach<br />
its sticky fingers to the metaphorical<br />
hands of a beleaguered Bush<br />
administration. Snooty NPR-listening<br />
elites were comforted by the<br />
fact that Brit and K-Fed’s break-up<br />
couldn’t draw the public’s attention<br />
from the carnage halfway across the<br />
world. These unpleasant snobs look<br />
down on those of us who can’t resist<br />
the siren call of US Weekly while<br />
checking out at Harris Teeter.<br />
Their smug derision is misplaced.<br />
Popular culture is an important societal<br />
force, and anyone who endeavors<br />
to understand the times<br />
in which we live should not ignore<br />
it. Few people understand this as<br />
much as the Washington Post’s Eugene<br />
Robinson. Robinson built a<br />
distinguished reportorial career as<br />
a foreign correspondent covering<br />
weighty topics like British politics<br />
and South American narco-wars.<br />
But since becoming a columnist,<br />
last weekend. Not us. We just gave<br />
a bunch of money to charity and<br />
danced to Bon Jovi.) We need a mascot<br />
to embody everything that makes<br />
UVA the best law school in the country,<br />
nay, the world.<br />
I propose that from now on, we<br />
should be known as the University<br />
of Virginia School of Law Fightin’<br />
Learned Hands. I mean, talk about<br />
your sweet dudes. Not only was he<br />
one of the foremost jurists in history,<br />
the guy loved to have a good time.<br />
When he was on the Second Circuit,<br />
he was a well-known frequenter of<br />
the hottest clubs in New York City. He<br />
used to spend his free time at his vacation<br />
house in New Hampshire, where<br />
he hung out with his close friend J.D.<br />
Salinger. Rumor has it that Salinger<br />
This guy just exudes school spirit.<br />
Robinson has often dedicated his<br />
space on the op-ed page to discussions<br />
of the social implications of<br />
stories like Madonna’s third-world<br />
toddler heists.<br />
And with good reason. Ignoring<br />
popular culture borders on journalistic<br />
malpractice: the country<br />
is obsessed with celebrities, and at<br />
some level, the media are obligated<br />
to hold a mirror up to the public,<br />
reflecting back what they see in the<br />
communities that they cover.<br />
So keep up with pop culture, but<br />
do so while maintaining the pretense<br />
that your interest is driven by sociological<br />
or anthropological desires to<br />
understand our times. Adopting this<br />
approach will allow you to shamelessly<br />
log on to TMZ.com in full view<br />
of others, perhaps at the library,<br />
when you should be cramming for<br />
exams.<br />
As for the mainstream media,<br />
they ignore celebrity news at their<br />
own peril. The publication of recently<br />
culled circulation numbers<br />
showed that almost every major<br />
metropolitan newspaper is losing<br />
readers. The only big newspapers<br />
to gain readers were two delightfully<br />
entertaining tabloids.<br />
The New York Post became the<br />
fifth highest circulation newspaper<br />
with 704,011 readers, and the<br />
New York Daily News upped their<br />
readership to 693,382. Both papers<br />
pushed past the Washington Post.<br />
US Weekly’s subscriber base, in case<br />
you were wondering, is 1.75 million,<br />
with an additional one million<br />
weekly newsstand sales.<br />
Email: sfh5t@virginia.edu<br />
went into reclusion because he never<br />
met a guy who was cooler to hang<br />
out with than his boy Learned. That’s<br />
the kind of figure I want representing<br />
our school.<br />
Obviously, further details remain<br />
to be explored. We have to decide<br />
if we want a Blue Devil-type caricature<br />
costume, or something a little<br />
more serious. I think eventually most<br />
people will simply refer to us as the<br />
Fightin’ Hands, but the evolution of<br />
that shortening should be left to time.<br />
Either way, before my IM basketball<br />
team, made up of only law students,<br />
takes the court when the playoffs<br />
start next week, our pregame cheer<br />
is going to be: “Goooooooo Hands!”<br />
I suggest you all follow in our trailblazing<br />
footsteps.<br />
photo courtesy of answers.com<br />
Professor John Harrison addressed students on Monday.<br />
► HARRISON<br />
continued from page 1<br />
Harrison Deconstructs<br />
Separation of Powers Doctrine<br />
“Vesting the different powers of<br />
government in different officers—<br />
saying, ‘The executive power shall<br />
be in one officer, and the legislative<br />
power shall be elsewhere’—means<br />
one thing if those officers can’t be the<br />
same person, and it means something<br />
else if they can be the same person,”<br />
Harrison explained. He cited the<br />
current British constitutional system,<br />
in which the monarch’s prime minister<br />
serves simultaneously as leader of<br />
the majority party in Parliament, for<br />
an example of two powers placed together<br />
in one official in a way not allowed<br />
in the United States.<br />
“In one respect, [the American<br />
model] has been extremely successful.<br />
. . . Like a lot of really important<br />
constitutional provisions, you never<br />
notice it—the chairman of the Senate<br />
Judiciary Committee is not, and<br />
cannot be, the attorney general,”<br />
Harrison said, illustrating that our<br />
fundamental incorporation of separation<br />
of powers would prevent such<br />
an obvious conflict.<br />
“That’s why something like what’s<br />
going on with Senator Lindsey Graham<br />
is sufficiently unusual as to be<br />
really remarkable.”<br />
Senator Graham of South Carolina,<br />
who had served as a JAG officer<br />
in the Air Force prior to his 1994 election,<br />
did not resign his military commission<br />
before being inducted into<br />
the U.S. Congress, and retains a reserve<br />
position at the rank of lieutenant<br />
colonel. In 2005, his status as an<br />
officer of both the legislative and the<br />
executive branch became the subject<br />
of litigation in United States v. Lane,<br />
after Graham had been assigned as a<br />
judge for a military appeals case, the<br />
decision of which was later successfully<br />
appealed on grounds that Graham’s<br />
placement as judge had been<br />
unconstitutional under the separation<br />
of powers principle reflected in<br />
the Incompatibility Clause.<br />
“I think that what Lindsey Graham<br />
is doing is unconstitutional, but<br />
I [also] don’t think the [Lane] case is<br />
correct,” Harrison said. “I think what<br />
[Art. I, Sec. VI] means is that, if you<br />
are, for example, a colonel in the Air<br />
Force, you can’t be a senator; it doesn’t<br />
mean that if you’re a senator, you can’t<br />
be a colonel in the Air Force. If you [already]<br />
hold office, that office disqualifies<br />
you from becoming a member of<br />
[Congress].”<br />
photo by Jeff Miller '08<br />
“The people who screwed up are<br />
the Senate,” Harrison continued.<br />
“They should have said, ‘We can’t<br />
seat you until you resign from the<br />
Air Force and stop working for the<br />
president,’ which is a bad thing in the<br />
system of separated powers.”<br />
Harrison also discussed difficulties<br />
presented by the current Presidential<br />
Succession Statute, in which Congress<br />
has defined the hierarchy of<br />
officers who would assume the president’s<br />
powers and duties in the event<br />
of his permanent absence. Currently,<br />
the second and third positions on the<br />
list are held by the two members of<br />
the legislative branch—the speaker<br />
of the House of Representatives and<br />
the president pro tempore of the Senate,<br />
respectively—an arrangement<br />
that Harrison sees as fundamentally,<br />
and perhaps catastrophically,<br />
flawed.<br />
“The statute now says that . . . if<br />
the speaker is to become acting president,<br />
he or she must resign as speaker—which<br />
is designed to deal with<br />
the basic structural problem [under<br />
separation of powers]. The problem<br />
is that that’s unconstitutional, too,”<br />
Harrison said. “You act as president<br />
because you’ve got the other office,<br />
and the statute has you getting rid<br />
of the office by continuing to act as<br />
president.”<br />
Harrison further stated that the<br />
drafters of the Constitution could<br />
not have foreseen this contradiction,<br />
since they did not consider members<br />
of Congress to be eligible for placement<br />
in the line of succession under<br />
Article II, Section I. The relevant text<br />
was written, Harrison said, with only<br />
officers already within the executive<br />
branch, such as cabinet members, in<br />
mind.<br />
“This [Presidential Succession<br />
Statute] is an accident waiting to<br />
happen,” Harrison claimed, giving<br />
a hypothetical scenario. “There’s a<br />
terrorist attack. Both the president<br />
and the vice president are killed, and<br />
there is then a dispute between the<br />
speaker and the secretary of state as<br />
to whether it’s constitutional for the<br />
speaker to act as president. . . . It is<br />
likely to plunge the country into a serious<br />
constitutional crisis, exactly at<br />
the moment when the country does<br />
not need a serious constitutional crisis,”<br />
he surmised. “Oh great. What<br />
fun.”
Friday, 17 November 2006<br />
When you think about it, the annual<br />
PILA auction is one of the most<br />
brilliant fundraising schemes this<br />
Jerry Parker '08<br />
Columnist<br />
Let the Booze Do the Bidding:<br />
Unlearned Lessons from PILA<br />
side of Republican<br />
campaign contributions.<br />
Whoever<br />
came up with the<br />
idea of putting 600 ultra-competitive<br />
law students in a huge room, getting<br />
them all liquored up, and letting<br />
them try to beat each other at spending<br />
money for charity is a true genius.<br />
A genius whom I hate. That’s because<br />
I’m the biggest sucker of them all<br />
when it comes to these things. Dress<br />
me up in fancy clothes, give me a few<br />
Beam and Gingers and I’m ready to<br />
spend a little money. After last year’s<br />
debacle (I’ll never use those 25 pedicures—who<br />
has the time?), I really<br />
wanted to rein it in this year. It didn’t<br />
quite go as I planned.<br />
As soon as I walked in the door,<br />
I got a little tingle in my fingertips<br />
—the kind that says “we’re about to<br />
go bid on some useless crap, buddy!”<br />
(Either that or “the infection is<br />
spreading!”—at that point the bourbon<br />
was doing most of my thinking.)<br />
I did a little warming up on the silent<br />
auction—some swimming lessons,<br />
mountain biking with Professor Ryan<br />
(sorry, girls), a makeover for me and<br />
three of my friends—you know, little<br />
stuff. I also picked up those two “get<br />
out of cite checks free” cards for Law<br />
Review. Not because I’m on Law Review,<br />
of course. Apparently they don’t<br />
like us “bottom quartile” students<br />
very much. It’s so those punks have to<br />
do each and every one of them themselves.<br />
Suckers. And at only $120,<br />
that’s a bargain for a healthy dose of<br />
misplaced, vindictive bitterness. My<br />
mom would be so proud.<br />
The silent portion was nothing<br />
more than practice for an elite auction<br />
athlete like me. (I mean, who needs<br />
practice? We’re talking about practice.)<br />
Much like Allen Iverson, it was<br />
in the live auction that I really stepped<br />
up my game. Within 30 seconds of<br />
being in the room I was already in<br />
the running for a free month’s rent<br />
► CONFERENCE<br />
continued from page 1<br />
first three months of the Iran Contra<br />
scandal, forcing Reagan administration<br />
lawyers to abandon efforts to assert<br />
executive privilege to keep internal<br />
White House documents private.<br />
Executive privilege was the sole<br />
topic of another panel, “Defending<br />
the Presidency,” that was moderated<br />
by UVA professor John Harrison.<br />
Nancy Kassop, a political scientist<br />
at SUNY-New Paltz who studies the<br />
presidency, noted that lawyers of<br />
both parties who work in the executive<br />
branch are usually proponents<br />
of broader presidential power. White<br />
House counsels tend to share “a desire<br />
to leave the presidency stronger than<br />
they found it.”<br />
This is particularly true with respect<br />
to executive privilege issues—<br />
the president’s right to keep certain<br />
records private.<br />
Executive privilege is a source of<br />
constant disagreement between the<br />
White House and Congress, speakers<br />
noted. Presidential administrations<br />
often rebuff document requests from<br />
congressional leaders investigating<br />
the executive branch.<br />
Mark J. Rozell, a George Mason<br />
public policy professor who wrote a<br />
at Ivy Gardens. Of course, I don’t live<br />
at Ivy Gardens anymore, but a competitor<br />
like me can’t get caught up in<br />
silly details like that. I ended up getting<br />
it for $170 less than I used to pay<br />
over there! Looks like a win to me!<br />
My next victory was a big one—for a<br />
mere $2,000, I got myself behind the<br />
wheel of Doug Leslie’s first car. That’s<br />
right, straight from the mean streets<br />
of Iowa, this is the car that Professor<br />
Leslie cruised the boulevard in when<br />
he was in high school. I don’t want to<br />
make anyone too jealous here, but<br />
apparently the engine even runs! A<br />
few minor cosmetic repairs and that<br />
baby’s ready to roll.<br />
I figured that the last prize I had<br />
my eye on would be subject to some<br />
pretty frenzied bidding, so I was pretty<br />
happy to bring it home for a quick<br />
$500. For that meager sum, Dean<br />
Jeffries will be preparing dinner for<br />
me and seven of my closest friends<br />
before the NCAA Tournament Final<br />
this spring. And since Dean Jeffries<br />
knows everything about everything,<br />
with a little pre-game gambling advice<br />
I’ll be making that $500 back<br />
pretty quickly. It doesn’t happen until<br />
April, either, so I have plenty of time<br />
to try and make those seven friends.<br />
On a completely different note,<br />
even in the midst of my intense bidding<br />
I noticed how scared of law students<br />
the folks at the Omni now are.<br />
Are we really that much of a danger?<br />
I guess the “Stark Incident” really<br />
shook them up, because the security<br />
<strong>VIRGINIA</strong> <strong>LAW</strong> <strong>WEEKLY</strong> Columns 5<br />
force they hired was just a bit over<br />
the top. First of all, there were about<br />
40 guards, each of whom could have<br />
taken any number of us law student<br />
pansies down without breaking a<br />
sweat, or any knuckles. Secondly,<br />
some of them had those über-sweet<br />
Secret Service earpieces—did they<br />
have knowledge of a covert plan in<br />
place to make an attempt on Adam<br />
Wolk’s life or something? (Uh, guys?<br />
Wolk was in Key West. So you can<br />
take those things out of your ears and<br />
go back to checking out girls in dresses.<br />
Thanks for the effort, though.) Finally,<br />
did anyone else notice that they<br />
had guns? What could rent-a-cops at<br />
a law school function possibly need<br />
guns for? Clearly they were worried<br />
about those thugs from William &<br />
Mary Law rolling up here and starting<br />
a shootout. But seriously, what<br />
were they going to use the sidearms<br />
for? To plug the guy who had one<br />
drink too many and passed out under<br />
the silent auction table?<br />
Actually, maybe one of them should<br />
have taken a shot at me when I bid on<br />
that last item and saved me $200. I<br />
don’t need a(nother) night of sweet<br />
love from Locke Beatty! That lapse<br />
in judgment aside, I must say I pretty<br />
much dominated PILA this year. So,<br />
if anyone’s interested in joining Dean<br />
Jeffries for dinner and NCAA basketball<br />
to the tune of $75 a head, let me<br />
know. I’ll even drive—I just picked up<br />
a sweet new car.<br />
Email: jparker@virginia.edu<br />
And the best part is it only cost two grand!<br />
book on executive privilege, articulated<br />
the most relied-on argument for<br />
broader executive privilege.<br />
“Presidents and their staffs must<br />
be able to deliberate without fear that<br />
every single utterance will be made<br />
public,” Rozell said.<br />
But, Rozell added, this concern<br />
should be balanced against Congress’<br />
right to investigate the executive<br />
branch.<br />
Many of the alumni of the White<br />
House counsel’s office argued that<br />
weakening executive privilege would<br />
be bad for public policy because it<br />
would stifle the ability of aides to offer<br />
candid advice.<br />
But partisan and ideological differences<br />
couldn’t be completely papered<br />
over by the panelists’ general bias toward<br />
executive branch prerogatives.<br />
Many of the lawyers from Democratic<br />
administrations said they<br />
thought the Bush administration had<br />
pushed the boundaries of the doctrine.<br />
Many constitutional scholars say<br />
that because one of the president’s<br />
duties is that of commander-in-chief,<br />
presidential power is and should be at<br />
its zenith on national security issues<br />
photo courtesy of danenglander.com<br />
White House Lawyers Support Broad Executive Powers<br />
during wartime.<br />
Harrison, a strong proponent of<br />
executive power, related an anecdote<br />
about his time at the Justice Department’s<br />
Office of Legal Counsel during<br />
the first Bush administration. Harrison<br />
recalled a phone call from the<br />
White House to the Justice Department<br />
on the night before the military<br />
commenced the initial bombing<br />
raids of the first Gulf War. A colleague<br />
turned to him and said, “If it’s the<br />
President, tell him the answer is ‘yes’.”<br />
The first day panels, held on an unseasonably<br />
warm Friday afternoon,<br />
were sparsely attended, with only a<br />
handful of law school students in the<br />
seats of a mostly empty Caplin Auditorium.<br />
Most of the attendees were other<br />
conference participants, although the<br />
crowd did include a few other interested<br />
legal practitioners and at least<br />
one former Virginia governor—A.<br />
Linwood Holton III, a Republican who<br />
is also the father-in-law of current<br />
Democratic governor Tim Kaine.<br />
Law School benefactor Mortimer<br />
Caplin lamented the poor student<br />
showing, asking a reporter, “Where is<br />
everybody?”<br />
After the Giving of Thanks<br />
Are the Feats of Strength<br />
I spend a lot of time discussing<br />
the things I hate. Whether talking<br />
with my friends, taking baths<br />
Toby Mergler '07<br />
Columns Editor<br />
with my soulmate<br />
Rub E. Ducky, or<br />
meeting a potential<br />
client for the<br />
first time, seems all I discuss are<br />
the things that piss me off. Given<br />
that potential clients are one of the<br />
things that get under my skin, I’m<br />
pretty sure my book of business<br />
will be more of a leaflet. But as<br />
Thanksgiving approaches, I’ve decided<br />
to give some thought to what<br />
I am thankful for instead. Here are<br />
a few of the things I’ve come up<br />
with.<br />
Friends and Family—Start with<br />
the easy one. I’m very thankful for<br />
these people, as their tolerance for<br />
me should make them eligible for<br />
sainthood. Without them, I’d be a<br />
lethargic neanderthal who drinks<br />
too much and exercises too little.<br />
Or at least, I’d feel lonely while doing<br />
so.<br />
Federal Holidays—I don’t care<br />
what the reason is, if you give me<br />
a day off work, I’m taking it. These<br />
bastions of freedom will soon provide<br />
me with the only link I have to<br />
being a 3L, as I plan to spend them<br />
watching mindless marathons of<br />
Deal or No Deal on TiVo. Speaking<br />
of which…<br />
TiVo—You are a freakin’ miracle<br />
worker. Without you, my Interruption<br />
would not be Pardoned,<br />
my Show would not be Daily, and<br />
my Bell sure as hell wouldn’t be<br />
Saved. You made TV my bitch and<br />
eliminated the inefficiency that<br />
was commercials, giving me much<br />
more time to practice both my ninja<br />
and swashbuckling skills. Why<br />
argue pirates vs. ninjas when you<br />
can be both?<br />
Saturday Morning Cartoons—<br />
Yes, I still watch cartoons on Saturday<br />
morning. I’m convinced that<br />
one day Wile E. Coyote is going to<br />
catch that punkass Road Runner<br />
and will exact his revenge in his<br />
Acme brand torture chamber. And<br />
I’ll be damned if I’m going to miss<br />
it.<br />
Bacon and Eggs—An excellent<br />
way to start the day, especially<br />
when anxiously awaiting the Road<br />
Runner’s reckoning. Okay, I’m getting<br />
hung up. Bacon and Eggs is<br />
just flat out delicious, especially<br />
when they are Road Runner eggs<br />
and bacon from his favorite pig.<br />
God I hate him so much, he’s so<br />
f’n smug. Dammit, pull yourself<br />
together Toby, the seven people<br />
still reading this are counting on<br />
you.<br />
Go-Karts—It’s the dumbest<br />
thing, having had a license for over<br />
a decade, but I still love go-karts. I<br />
think it’s derivative of my love of<br />
midgets. I would really like to see a<br />
midget driving a go-kart. While the<br />
rest of us are scrunched up, he’d be<br />
getting his gangsta lean on. Play on<br />
lil playa, play on.<br />
Being Lazy Outdoors—One of<br />
my great pleasures in life is lounging<br />
outside. I don’t know why I<br />
feel so much more productive being<br />
stationary outside as opposed<br />
to being stationary indoors. I just<br />
know that whether it be at a beach,<br />
a park, or on a stranger’s roof, I feel<br />
like I’m the king of all I survey. A<br />
Ninja-Pirate King.<br />
Bar Games—It’s not enough to<br />
just spend time with your closest<br />
friends, you must be competing at<br />
something at all times, otherwise<br />
you are likely to realize you don’t<br />
have anything to talk about besides<br />
football, girls, and that time you<br />
were so drunk you got involved in<br />
a high-speed police chase through<br />
three states. Thanks to the cigarette-throwing<br />
game, I can keep<br />
my feelings and my memories entirely<br />
repressed. It’s supersweet.<br />
Friendly Wagers—I’m additionally<br />
thankful for friendly wagers<br />
on things like Golden Tee and<br />
pool. Remember, it’s not just eight<br />
bucks in your pocket; it’s a small<br />
chunk of your buddy’s pride. I like<br />
to take pictures of my friend’s face<br />
and tape them over the dead presidents.<br />
That way when I spend it,<br />
the cashier at WaWa knows exactly<br />
who I pwn3d.<br />
Drive-Thrus—A wonderful creation<br />
that allows incredibly lazy<br />
people to eat unhealthily and avoid<br />
pesky human contact. Without you,<br />
I may obtain the exercise of at least<br />
getting out of my car and walking<br />
inside to retrieve my McRib. I say,<br />
eff that, I want to drive dangerously<br />
while I savor its flavor.<br />
Re-runs—Thanks to syndication,<br />
I’ll be watching the same episodes<br />
of Seinfeld, Simpsons, Scrubs<br />
and Family Guy well into my 80s,<br />
when hopefully I’ll become forgetful<br />
enough to enjoy them again for<br />
the first time. Somehow I think I’ll<br />
recognize the Soup Nazi long after<br />
I’ve forgotten who my nephews<br />
are.<br />
The Rebirth of Comedy—Along<br />
the same lines, I’m very thankful<br />
that comedy has seen a serious upswing<br />
in recent years. Despite CBS<br />
trying to kill it, new sitcoms and<br />
sketch comedy shows like Chappelle’s<br />
Show, The Office, The Colbert<br />
Report, and It’s Always Sunny<br />
in Philadelphia have come along<br />
and resurrected the genre. Without<br />
you, everyone might still be in<br />
love with that no-talent ass clown<br />
Raymond.<br />
Traveling in Non-English-Speaking<br />
Countries—I love being a<br />
stranger in a strange land and having<br />
to communicate through broken<br />
language and lots of pointing.<br />
Nothing makes you feel more alive<br />
than waking up on a park bench,<br />
wandering why that hot Spanish<br />
chick never showed up and then<br />
realizing she didn’t say, “meet me<br />
in the park,” but rather, “I hope you<br />
get mugged and left for dead in the<br />
park.” Ah, memories. I just wish<br />
they hadn’t stolen my virginity.<br />
Pop culture debates—A lot of my<br />
friends can’t take a cold call to save<br />
their lives, but you ask them who’s<br />
better, Oasis or The Shins or who<br />
is hotter, Jennifer Aniston or Angelina<br />
Jolie and all the sudden they’ll<br />
turn into Lincoln and Douglas. It’s<br />
fun to watch and even better when<br />
they back up their points with<br />
things like, “The Shins use original<br />
metaphors and advanced lyrics<br />
that challenge their pedigree and<br />
push the limits of today’s indie rock<br />
scene” or “Dude, she’s so hot, even<br />
your girlfriend would bang her.”<br />
Aleve—This miracle drug cures<br />
everything from sore arms to<br />
toothaches. I’m not ashamed to<br />
admit that during the softball tourney,<br />
I was popping them like Pez.<br />
Now if only they could cure heartbreak,<br />
I could throw away my Chris<br />
Isaak’s greatest hits album. Noooo<br />
IIIIIIIIIIIII don’t want to fall in<br />
luuuv. Enjoy that, it’s gonna be in<br />
your head all day. I’m now thankful<br />
I’m not you.<br />
Email: mergler@virginia.edu
6 Columns & Reviews<br />
<strong>VIRGINIA</strong> <strong>LAW</strong> <strong>WEEKLY</strong><br />
Friday, 17 November 2006<br />
Dan Balserak '08<br />
Columnist<br />
Dan Balserak's Immor(t)al Legacy<br />
Certain mornings I wake up<br />
fragile and hollow, haunted by a<br />
sense of my own mortality, and<br />
it won’t wash off in the shower.<br />
It’s like if I don’t hold onto something<br />
I might float away. The<br />
specter’s visits, though sporadic,<br />
stick with me: a bird hits the<br />
window, or I trip and teeter on<br />
the stairs, and there I am again.<br />
It is not that I believe my death<br />
impends, but as entropy carries<br />
me inexorably forward, I would<br />
like some small measure of consolation.<br />
Accordingly, please<br />
find below a draft of my will and<br />
testament.<br />
The Last Will and Testament of<br />
Dan Balserak<br />
To Jeff Albertson, I leave my intermittent<br />
Skoal habit. I’m still convinced that the only<br />
reason you caught so many more fish than<br />
me the other day is that they smelled it on<br />
my hook, and I want revenge.<br />
To my landlord, I leave the light fixture<br />
on my ceiling, which somehow manages to<br />
leak vast quantities of water when it rains<br />
without showering me with sparks as well.<br />
On second thought, I would like to donate<br />
this to science. You, instead, get the bill<br />
for all the caffeinated beverages I’ve had<br />
to consume to make up for nights spent in<br />
sleepless terror that I would be electrocuted<br />
in bed.<br />
To Tom Wood, I leave all of my pairs of<br />
sweatpants. You seem to be the only one<br />
whom I’ve persuaded that it is not only acceptable,<br />
but actually stylish, to wear them<br />
with button-down shirts, and I’d like to see<br />
that continue.<br />
To Anika Yusaf, I leave the comically tiny<br />
shorts my brother gave me from when he<br />
was a kid. As a self-appointed arbiter of<br />
taste, you deserve these ’70s-era gems for<br />
their value as a reminder of how trends can<br />
so easily go awry. The only condition on<br />
this bequest is that you must wear them in<br />
public at least once a week. This is because<br />
you always make fun of me for wearing<br />
button-down shirts with sweatpants.<br />
To the guy whose foot I broke while<br />
playing horseshoes at the NASCAR race a<br />
few weeks ago, I leave the Dale Jarrett hat<br />
that I tossed in the fire because I thought it<br />
looked like I’d just bought it earlier that day<br />
and, thus, not like the hat of a veteran Dale<br />
Jarrett fan. I lied when I told you I’d torched<br />
it in anger over his un-American move from<br />
Ford to Toyota—I didn’t even know about<br />
that until a few hours beforehand, right<br />
before I bought it. Unfortunately, the hat<br />
won’t do much to help your foot, but it will<br />
keep about half of your head out of the sun.<br />
Sorry about that again.<br />
To the truck full of girls who drove<br />
around the NASCAR campsite flashing<br />
people for money, I leave the erotic coaster<br />
set that Jeff brought back as a gift for me<br />
from his trip to Greece last year. I didn’t really<br />
talk to any of you at all, and as far as<br />
I could tell, you didn’t look like you were<br />
Greek, but I figure maybe you’d be into an<br />
erotic coaster set.<br />
To the staff of the Virginia Law Review, I<br />
leave my remaining case of Steven Seagal’s<br />
Lightning Bolt Energy Drink (http://<br />
lightningdrink.com). See, even though<br />
you submitted 50 interview requests during<br />
OGIs while knowing full well that you’d<br />
get 90% of them, I’m still leaving you something,<br />
because I have so much love in my<br />
heart.<br />
To the staff of my very own beloved Virginia<br />
Environmental Law Journal, I leave<br />
the towering heap of Styrofoam food<br />
containers that I have been hoarding in my<br />
closet until science discovers an ecologically<br />
friendly method of disposing of them.<br />
Please do so at such time.<br />
To Andy Clayton (who else?), I leave<br />
my Girls on Trampolines! DVD. It’s holidaythemed,<br />
so if I kick the bucket in the next<br />
month or so, at least my death would be<br />
timely in that regard. It goes without saying,<br />
the girls might be a bit out of your target<br />
demographic.<br />
As the last of my bequests, to Ken Staples<br />
of Staples Barber Shop, I leave my cutlery<br />
set. Nowhere else, never before, have I received<br />
such a quality haircut while been<br />
slowly spun around in my chair the whole<br />
time. Besides it being an impressive talent<br />
on your part and a good deal on a haircut,<br />
the feel of being a moving target was mildly<br />
exhilarating. I thought perhaps you could<br />
incorporate my knives into the experience<br />
somehow.<br />
Finally, I would like to provide some instructions<br />
for my burial. Well, maybe “burial”<br />
isn’t the right word. Do you remember<br />
the guy who tied a bunch of weather balloons<br />
to his lawn chair, got too scared to<br />
release any of them, and floated over an<br />
airport or something? I’ve always admired<br />
that guy. Talk about carpe diem. So, please<br />
sit my lifeless body down in a lawn chair,<br />
put a Keystone in my hand, and send me<br />
gently into a low-level orbit. That way,<br />
when you look up in the sky, you can know<br />
that I am quite literally smiling down on<br />
you. Awww.<br />
image courtesy of<br />
agreatgiftidea.com<br />
Surviving Your Callbacks: Some Tips for 1Ls (and Some Unfortunate 2Ls)<br />
Jeff Miller ’08<br />
Reviewer<br />
Eight hotels. Nineteen October<br />
nights spent elsewhere than Charlottesville.<br />
Over 6,000 miles traveled<br />
by air. Sixteen flights in a cramped<br />
Korean War-era turboprop plane that<br />
moves like a meringue dancer at the<br />
least gust of wind. Seven alarm clocks<br />
set for 5 a.m. so I can make a 7 a.m.<br />
flight. Sixteen cab drivers who think<br />
the trip between LaGuardia and Midtown<br />
is a qualifying run for the Grand<br />
Prix of Monte Carlo.<br />
I returned to Virginia battle-worn<br />
and interview-weary, but, dang it<br />
Nancy, I survived. And despite the<br />
best efforts of my personality, I even<br />
managed to land myself a job in the<br />
process (take that, Mom!).<br />
The callback process is not for the<br />
weak of heart, nor the slight of spirit.<br />
If you want to be a cosmopolitan lawyer<br />
in one of our nation’s great cities,<br />
prepare yourself for a marathon. Like<br />
a great endurance run, it takes stamina,<br />
desire, and most of all—focus.<br />
Here is what I have gleaned from<br />
the process. 1Ls, I hope you will keep<br />
some of these in mind when you embark<br />
on your own whirlwind tour de<br />
employment next year.<br />
First, the callback process begins<br />
with class scheduling. That early?<br />
Absolutely. You will notice that law<br />
school credit requirements assume<br />
fifteen credits a semester except for<br />
once when you may indulge in a<br />
meager twelve credits. Take the light<br />
load the fall semester of your 2L year.<br />
I did not. Heck, I almost took eighteen<br />
credits. If you are going to be visiting<br />
a lot of firms in far-flung places, you<br />
will regret not listening to me.<br />
Second, try to keep a two-day block<br />
open during your week. Under no<br />
circumstances should you take a Friday<br />
class and, frankly, Thursday isn’t<br />
looking too good for you either. Load<br />
up on Monday and Wednesday, take<br />
a Thursday seminar that doesn’t meet<br />
every week . . . Whatever, just keep a<br />
couple of days free.<br />
. . . Because if you do, you’ll be able<br />
to do what, I think, is the most important<br />
callback tactic: scheduling two or<br />
even three firms in a group. Ask any 2L<br />
or 3L, the worst part of any callback is<br />
the 12-hour surgical strike—flying in<br />
at 8 p.m. the night before, crashing<br />
in the hotel at 11 p.m., waking up for<br />
a 10 a.m. callback, and then flying<br />
out at 4 p.m. You will hate your life if<br />
you do that more than once. And you<br />
know what? I’ll hate you too, Captain<br />
Cranky.<br />
Interviewing in blocks will give<br />
you time to slow down, take a breath,<br />
and enjoy the city you will soon be<br />
living in. I was largely a stranger to<br />
New York before this semester. Now,<br />
I know how to avoid eye contact with<br />
the homeless like a true Manhattanite.<br />
I also know where the best<br />
hammocks are sold (hint, it’s down<br />
in the hammock district). This is especially<br />
vital if you’re venturing off<br />
to unknown places. Can’t decide between,<br />
say, Tuscaloosa and Burbank?<br />
Spend a few days in each!<br />
Importantly, remember that your<br />
callbacks are as much interviews as<br />
your OGI was. “But Jeff,” one might<br />
say, “they say the callback is your opportunity<br />
to see if the firm is a match<br />
for you!” Yes, then we’ll all hold<br />
hands and eat granola. It’s an interview—act<br />
like it.<br />
If you have a question that you are<br />
not sure is kosher, save it. You can<br />
ask all the taboo questions you want<br />
after you get the offer. The national<br />
post-callback offer rate is something<br />
around 50%. Don’t become a statistic<br />
by relaxing and dropping your guard.<br />
One must especially take note of<br />
this during lunch or dinner with the<br />
firm. If recruiters are the Viet Cong,<br />
this is their bamboo-spiked pit. Take<br />
one example: I was eating lunch<br />
one day after Yankees pitcher Corey<br />
Lidle’s aerial accident. One of the associates<br />
brought it up, to which I absentmindedly<br />
replied, “Yeah, when<br />
George Steinbrenner says he’s going<br />
to make roster cuts, he’s serious!”<br />
DO NOT DO THAT. Now, I lucked<br />
out and got an offer from the firm,<br />
but it sure wasn’t because of that line.<br />
At least wait until the dead are in the<br />
ground before you use them as comedic<br />
fodder.<br />
Next, take advantage of an invitation<br />
to return to the firm for a visit. It<br />
might seem like a hassle to schedule a<br />
trip like this late in the semester, but<br />
it’s worth it if you are undecided. A return<br />
trip allows you to be much more<br />
free in your demeanor and frank in<br />
your conversation. I could never have<br />
made my decisions without a second<br />
swing through some offices.<br />
According to one recruiter, a law<br />
firm will spend about $150,000 per<br />
incoming attorney each year. If they<br />
are making such an investment in<br />
you and you, in turn, are going to be<br />
making an even greater professional<br />
investment in them, you both deserve<br />
to know whether or not you will<br />
be content to work there for three or<br />
four years.<br />
Do try to be somewhat conscious<br />
of the firm’s money, however. One of<br />
the associates I interviewed with bemoaned<br />
having to take a return visitor<br />
out to an expensive restaurant the<br />
previous night, despite not knowing if<br />
the firm reimburses it. While the legal<br />
recruiting process certainly gives one<br />
ample opportunity to do so, don’t be<br />
a glutton.<br />
Finally, when deciding on a firm<br />
during callbacks, remember that you<br />
chose Virginia, and you most likely<br />
have a soul (to you 1Ls transferring<br />
to NYU, Columbia, etc., I apologize<br />
for us bombarding you with our soulness,<br />
and I’m glad to hear you’ll be<br />
murdering your shriveled and blackened<br />
one next year).<br />
The professional aspects of a firm<br />
are important, but take to heart that<br />
you will be with that firm for at least<br />
three years or so. Pick a place you’ll<br />
be content with. As one associate remarked<br />
to his roommate (who would<br />
interview me later that day), “I wake<br />
up each morning dreading work,<br />
and I know that today will narrowly<br />
eclipse yesterday as the worst day of<br />
my life.”<br />
Don’t be that guy. Jobs aren’t parades,<br />
but neither are they prisons.<br />
Go with the firm that you’ll be satisfied<br />
working for because, dang it Pedro,<br />
that’s the firm you’ve spent this<br />
entire process searching for.<br />
Now go study for finals.
Friday, 17 November 2006<br />
<strong>VIRGINIA</strong> <strong>LAW</strong> <strong>WEEKLY</strong> Reviews 7<br />
UVA Basketball:<br />
Something Special?<br />
First Impressions of John Paul Jones Arena<br />
Craig Smith ’09<br />
Reviewer<br />
The University officially opened<br />
John Paul Jones Arena (JPJ) for<br />
basketball this past week to much<br />
buzz and acclaim. With an exhibition<br />
game and regular season<br />
opener on consecutive weekends, I<br />
had the opportunity to evaluate the<br />
game-day experience for patrons.<br />
Architecturally, JPJ is stunning.<br />
At once imposing and light, the<br />
building’s use of brick and columns<br />
effectively echoes the style of Central<br />
Grounds without appearing derivative.<br />
Without a doubt, this is the<br />
most impressive-looking arena in<br />
the ACC, if not the entire country.<br />
An initial pass through the arena<br />
yielded similar good impressions.<br />
The ushers, dressed in UVA apparel,<br />
were friendly and helpful—a far<br />
cry from the yellow-jacketed CSC<br />
automatons that infest so many<br />
facilities. The lower concourse was<br />
well appointed and spacious. Signage<br />
and tempting concessions<br />
abound. I sensed a superlative experience<br />
unfolding.<br />
Sitting down to watch the game,<br />
things quickly went downhill. The<br />
University trumpets that 70% of<br />
seats are between the baselines.<br />
What they fail to mention is that all<br />
but 10 of those seats are in the oxygen-depriving<br />
upper deck. Fans are<br />
further removed from the action by<br />
the multi-use design of JPJ; the arena<br />
is not well suited for getting both<br />
basketball and hockey fans close to<br />
the action, unlike Boston College’s<br />
(smaller) Conte Forum.<br />
Regardless of where you sit, take<br />
sunglasses to protect your retinas.<br />
LED boards encircle the court between<br />
the suites and upper deck,<br />
graphic by Michael<br />
Seeligson '09<br />
bombarding fans with bright, colorful<br />
ads throughout the game. I tried<br />
to focus on the action below but<br />
kept getting distracted by the flashing<br />
sales messages in my peripheral<br />
vision. These ads actually made me<br />
angry and detracted from the game<br />
experience like nothing before. Perhaps<br />
I would have calmed down if<br />
ushers had offered glowsticks and<br />
E for a post-game rave.<br />
The pre-game extracurriculars<br />
were sub-par. At most stadiums,<br />
fans receive a nice commemorative<br />
ticket for a major event such<br />
as opening night; Virginia gave you<br />
a towel and an extra-large T-shirt.<br />
We had to sit through smoke clouds<br />
(reminiscent of Miami back when<br />
The U had a football team), laser<br />
shows, spotlights, fireworks, and<br />
a rappelling Cav Man before we<br />
could even get to the starting lineups.<br />
It’s as if we weren’t allowed<br />
to get excited about a new arena,<br />
a good team, and a top-10 opponent<br />
on our own. No sir, UVA was<br />
going to jam some extra manufactured<br />
enthusiasm right down your<br />
throat. Spare me.<br />
Once the haze from the fireworks<br />
cleared, the central scoreboard became<br />
easily visible. It looked neat<br />
at first, with an eight-panel score/<br />
video board on top of another large<br />
video board, both sandwiched<br />
between rotating LED boards. It<br />
brought a bit of Times Square to<br />
the gym. However, they need to<br />
start showing more information;<br />
only updating both teams’ statistics<br />
at halftime is simply unacceptable.<br />
And they must stop cutting away<br />
from the points/fouls table to show<br />
me those worthless Super VGA portraits<br />
of individual Cavaliers.<br />
Taking a break from the sensorial<br />
assault in the seating bowl, I<br />
wandered out to sample some concessions.<br />
Even in the middle of the<br />
first half, lines were painfully slow.<br />
UVA might not qualify for the minimum<br />
wage exemption for seasonal<br />
recreational facilities, but it can’t be<br />
that expensive for the school to hire<br />
sufficient staffing for each stand.<br />
Upon arrival at the front of the line,<br />
I was greeted by the most baffling<br />
experience possible at a new arena:<br />
the concession stands don’t accept<br />
credit cards. It’s impossible to fathom<br />
the thought process behind accepting<br />
only cash. Gee, everyone in<br />
the world takes credit cards and we<br />
charge $2.50 for a pack of M&Ms—<br />
probably don’t need to take plastic.<br />
Well, now that I’ve reached that<br />
brilliant conclusion, I’m going to<br />
vote Al Groh for ACC Coach of the<br />
Year. As a bonus, when I returned<br />
with borrowed cash, I was informed<br />
no one had ordered tops for<br />
my soda cup. Seriously, who makes<br />
these decisions?<br />
I tried. I wanted to like JPJ. I<br />
spent two games searching for<br />
positives (nice bricks; nice ushers;<br />
nice home uniforms; sturdy, topless<br />
soda cups; comfortable seats).<br />
I even ignored the “same olds” that<br />
will end up making JPJ just like every<br />
bland new arena (same lame<br />
pre-recorded music, same lame<br />
dance team, same lame alumni,<br />
same lame promotions, same lame<br />
induced cheering). Even after an<br />
exhilarating win against Arizona, I<br />
came away disappointed. Trying to<br />
find my path home in spite of retinas<br />
seared by dancing corporate<br />
logos, I called home and uttered<br />
something previously unfathomable:<br />
“Mom, I really miss Comcast<br />
Center.”<br />
Marc Centor ’07<br />
Reviewer<br />
With less than three<br />
minutes to go in the<br />
first half against #10<br />
Arizona, the Wahoos<br />
were down 19. By<br />
halftime, they had<br />
stopped some of the<br />
bleeding and pulled<br />
within 13, but the<br />
outlook remained<br />
dim. After the pregame<br />
spectacle—<br />
fireworks and spotlights<br />
and CavMan<br />
descending from the<br />
ceiling on a lowered<br />
rope—the Hoos went<br />
flat. For a second, I<br />
thought the Silver Fox<br />
had Saran-wrapped our<br />
goals.<br />
Then the wind changed direction,<br />
sometime during halftime,<br />
or at the end of the first half<br />
when no one was watching. Maybe<br />
when Curtis Staples’ number<br />
5 jersey was raised to the South<br />
rafters, the spirit of the Cavaliers<br />
followed. Halfway through<br />
the second half, they had whittled<br />
the Wildcats' lead to a tie<br />
ballgame. Arizona continued to<br />
fight off the stingy Wahoos, but<br />
Sean Singletary’s relentless attack,<br />
Mamadi Diane’s hot hand<br />
and Jason Cain’s Barkley-esque<br />
domination of the boards were<br />
too much for the PAC-10 squad<br />
to handle.<br />
The coming season may be an<br />
uphill battle for the University of<br />
Virginia Men’s Basketball team,<br />
but Dave Leitao and the Cavaliers<br />
stand poised for the challenge.<br />
After a trio of home cupcakes,<br />
the Cavaliers head to Purdue<br />
for the ACC/Big Ten Challenge.<br />
Then NC State and Hampton at<br />
home before the season heats<br />
up in January with home stands<br />
against Gonzaga and Stanford<br />
segueing into the hectic conference<br />
season.<br />
Although preseason pundits<br />
have largely ignored the Hoos,<br />
our backcourt ranks among the<br />
best in the nation. Third-year<br />
Sean Singletary runs the point<br />
and will lead the team with his<br />
intensity and ball skills. Think<br />
Donald Hand hustle and Damon<br />
Stoudamire speed. Add fourthyear<br />
J.R. Reynolds at the two,<br />
plus a host of wingmen led by the<br />
emerging Mamadi Diane—who<br />
definitely called bank on that<br />
shot—and you’ve got trouble for<br />
any defense we meet.<br />
More questions exist in the interior.<br />
Jason Cain should prove<br />
a great power forward if he can<br />
keep up his intensity level and<br />
improve his back-to-the-basket<br />
game, while Laurynas “Lars”<br />
Mikalauskas, transfer Ryan Pettinella,<br />
and the healing Tunji<br />
Soroye provide big bodies for<br />
defense, rebounding and inside<br />
baskets. While this crew isn’t<br />
blessed with the talent and experience<br />
of the guards, their hard<br />
work should pay off down the<br />
stretch. Expect all of these guys<br />
to improve as the season continues<br />
and Coach Leitao continues<br />
to work with them.<br />
Which brings us to the man behind<br />
the men, head coach Dave<br />
Leitao. After 15 years under the<br />
esteemed Jim Calhoun and three<br />
years of head-coaching success<br />
at DePaul, Coach Leitao appears<br />
to have the team in good shape<br />
for his sophomore campaign. By<br />
stressing hard-nosed defense and<br />
a refuse-to-quit attitude, Leitao<br />
has changed the outlook of Virginia<br />
basketball. And while the<br />
run-of-the-mill basketball analysts<br />
may not be giving Leitao’s<br />
team any respect yet, the unraveling<br />
of time will reveal the potential<br />
of the 2006-07 Cavaliers.<br />
Nada es imposible, as they say.<br />
If there’s one more thing<br />
the Law Weekly’s loyal readers<br />
should know about the season to<br />
come, it’s that it is the inaugural<br />
one for the John Paul Jones<br />
Arena. The largest arena in the<br />
Commonwealth of Virginia,<br />
JPJ should prove to be a stellar<br />
venue for our team to regain its<br />
status among the elite of the<br />
NCAA. And although the incessant<br />
LCD ads and HooVision may<br />
be distracting at times, the mic’d<br />
up rims and 16,000-seat capacity<br />
add a big-time feel that was<br />
absent in the beloved U-Haul.<br />
Although die-hard fans will miss<br />
the Clam, the J is sure to play a<br />
large role in the future history of<br />
Wahoos basketball. As philosopher<br />
Jay-Z once said, all things<br />
must come to an end. Luckily<br />
spring follows on the coattails<br />
of winter. We are on the verge of<br />
something special here in Charlottesville<br />
and the critics should<br />
pay mind. The sun is but a morning<br />
star. Just ask the Arizona<br />
Wildcats.
8 The Back Page<br />
<strong>VIRGINIA</strong> <strong>LAW</strong> <strong>WEEKLY</strong><br />
Friday, 17 November 2006<br />
faculty quotes<br />
editor's pick:<br />
R. Harmon: “After having<br />
kids for a few years, my big<br />
thought is ‘Why doesn’t child<br />
abuse happen more often?’”<br />
R. Hynes: “So if the Loch Ness<br />
monster eats your shaft...”<br />
J. Jeffries: “I’m kind of a hardass<br />
guy.”<br />
C. Sprigman: “I have an old<br />
girlfriend who was a flute player<br />
and I asked her about this. The<br />
conversation was good, but the<br />
flute part was definitely the<br />
best.”<br />
T. Nachbar: “I don’t understand<br />
how prurient interest and<br />
excretory interest go together, but<br />
the Court seems pretty obsessed<br />
with this.”<br />
G. Robinson: “You don’t think<br />
the F word and the S word should<br />
go together?”<br />
T. Nachbar: “I hope not.”<br />
Student: “The casebook seems<br />
to say the opposite.”<br />
G. Mitchell: “Well, I don’t read<br />
the cases in the book.”<br />
G. Mitchell: “I assigned that?”<br />
Class: “Yes!”<br />
G. Mitchell: “Wow, I have to<br />
read my own syllabus more carefully.”<br />
S. Smith: “Okay, here’s a hypo.<br />
I’m pointing my gun, but it’s not<br />
loaded. That’s why it’s a hypothetical.<br />
My guns are always loaded.”<br />
J. Harrison: “Have you ever<br />
been to any of those stores on the<br />
Downtown Mall? Has anyone<br />
ever bought anything from those<br />
shops? I think they must be money<br />
laundering operations.”<br />
P. Low: “Virginia has the distinction<br />
of having the secondhighest<br />
quantity of deaths from<br />
the death penalty. I suspect you<br />
all know who has the first. It’s<br />
Texas. But Virginia’s hangin’ in<br />
there. . . . no pun intended.”<br />
J. O’Connell: “Breyer was Kennedy’s<br />
boy, if you’ll pardon the<br />
phrase.”<br />
Mel the 3L: by Josh Kaplowitz '07<br />
L. Walker: “You can’t serve process<br />
by just going out into the yard<br />
and nailing it to a tree . . . unless<br />
the defendant lives in a treehouse<br />
out in the yard.”