[title of show] Arizona Theatre Company Play Guide 1

[title of show]
YOUNG
• Furniture: Who needs it, right? The floor is perfectly comfy
when you inflate that mattress that Mom and Dad sent you.
But if you really are a big old crybaby, you can always keep
an eye out on the street to see what people are throwing away.
That old saying, “One man’s trash…” and all that. But if you’re
brave enough to use a mattress you found on the street (true
story – my friend really did that), make sure you own plenty
of stock in some chemical that will blast away whatever Trash = Treasure
germs are on that sucker (true story too – my friend really did that as well and I think
he might have permanently scarred his lungs from the amount of spray he used). Same
goes for couches, recliners, tables, lamps, exercise equipment and pretty much any
old thing – clean and display proudly in your fashionable NYC apartment. Note: While
giving this advice, in all fairness a word of caution is in order about an absolutely
terrifying epidemic thanks to sidewalk furniture. One word:
“bedbugs.” They are murder to get rid of, and you can
pick them up soooo easily (even by taking a free book off
the sidewalk, which is a great way to add to your library).
They're also this generation's new STD, more or less - once
you hook up with someone that has 'em, you've got 'em,
too. And, by hook up, I mean sleep with, shake hands with,
hold the jacket of, or even sit next to on the bus.
eeeeeeeekkkkkkkkkk!!!!!!!!!
• Income: The old quandary for all newbie transplant
artists – where can I find someone willing to pay me
to make art? There’s no one answer for such a deep
question. However, usually you can feel free to make
art in your three hours of free time while not temping,
waiter(ress)ing or selling blood. Whether or not you’ll
get paid for said art is a different story. So you’ll need
to keep that other resume brushed up (you know, the
You don’t want to end up here
one that doesn’t include your stint in your high school
production of Cats) while you’re waiting for your turn
to star in whatever the next upcoming Broadway musical is from Disney. So make
sure you have another skill to sell. Oh, and make sure whatever that “skill” is is
legal in the state of New York. It’s hard to be the star of a Broadway musical if
you’re starring in your own personal, non-televised version of Oz.
Your Art:
• As mentioned above, you might just have three hours a day after
working at a thankless job to work on your art. Make the best of it! Be like Hunter
and Jeff! One thing you can do as a starving artist is get your friends/associates
together, throw caution to the wind, and just put up your own work in the smallest,
cheapest, and occasionally weirdest venue you can get your hands on. Why wait
for the jobs to come to you? You don't have to let little things like running water,
rats, no heat, no roof, or no walls prevent you from living your dream of playing
Arizona Theatre Company Play Guide 17