For the happy man! - Collected writings DEPRESSION: Ed Atkins
For the happy man! - Collected writings DEPRESSION: Ed Atkins For the happy man! - Collected writings DEPRESSION: Ed Atkins
eing that does not require a prior life – requires no living human to be smashed into oblivion by some high definition hammer for merely tuning fucking gods. I wanted to ask, tentatively, if you mourned anything ridiculous? –The passing of anachronisms, archaisms, even. Whether you suffered from bouts of fantasy for the quiet, sofa-bound end? Together. [...] I thought about whether you might’ve turned this down at my offering. Whether you could have passed me some paper, a pen, a drink – a drink – a fucking drink. Whether you might have passed me a fucking drink. Whether you could have just passed me a fucking drink. Whether you might have summoned the heart to fix me and pass me a fucking drink. Whether you knew the slightest thing about redemption, apology. An understanding of ‘sorry’ as existing ‘between’ rather than ‘of ’, ‘on’, ‘from’ or fucking ‘in’. I am sorry. I wanted to ask whether you’d considered the rather likely conclusion that the eyelash made its way beneath your foreskin by entirely banal means? Like a worm mistaken for a brooch. Or rather a broken hammer mistaken for a fist-sized jewel; a fist-sized fist mistaken for an upturned palm. A somewhat pathetic, plodding transit: under a
fingernail, most likely. Fingers retreading routine ground: rubbing eye, adjusting crotch, etc. Etc. What this might mean for LOVE: * Mistaking the utterly null for the terrifically important. * What this might have meant for love. A mistake. I wanted to ask whether you once knew how to extract elements from a compound. Some vestigial secondary education. Specifically? Specifically guilt. From anything else. Whether a pale blue flame should be tended beneath. Or drowned in some pertinent corrosive. Or a frequency of vibration applied, perhaps. The heavy-handed pummel of a sub-woofer. The acupunctural possibilities of those serried tweeters. Or simply neglect. The application of arrogance, apathy – a lazy shove overboard being all it took. (The concision of such a brush comprised of a single eyelash! Rooted in wood and restrained by mild metal! Wielded deftly by a clump of acrylic French manicured fingers!) I wanted to ask about pubic hair, clearly – the difference between pubic hair and eyelashes – the difference between those two toughened hairs and their slightly fairer
- Page 39 and 40: As in: light-like curves that pass
- Page 41 and 42: Liquid crystals running terminal co
- Page 43 and 44: the fuck away - and then STRAIGHTAW
- Page 45 and 46: ness. I conjure the very medicine t
- Page 48 and 49: Warm, Warm, Warm Spring Mouths 2013
- Page 50 and 51: And no provision has been made for
- Page 52 and 53: And this whole thing a concession,
- Page 54 and 55: And it’s not too much to imagine
- Page 56 and 57: And bullet-time, really, is a lifes
- Page 58 and 59: gallon or so of PVA semen. Dispassi
- Page 60 and 61: Inexpensive. Which is part of it, t
- Page 62 and 63: This is no longer an experience, bu
- Page 64 and 65: A heavy mood that turned away from
- Page 66 and 67: (Is this thing on?) And a trellis o
- Page 68 and 69: Into the cool water. This one goes
- Page 70 and 71: This one goes out to your singular
- Page 72: I don’t want to hear any news on
- Page 75 and 76: I wanted to ask whether you thought
- Page 77 and 78: legibility. A primordial story of s
- Page 79 and 80: owner of the eyelash, your lover. B
- Page 81 and 82: The smell was certainly sexual, I t
- Page 83 and 84: discrete line to slight-inked line
- Page 85 and 86: oily substance not unlike jojoba, f
- Page 87 and 88: muscles) Averting our eyes from one
- Page 89: late to be a fucking lie told badly
- Page 93 and 94: great prairies of skin are, in each
- Page 95 and 96: the same mistake again. The dead ey
- Page 97 and 98: -Resembling the lichen that seems t
- Page 100 and 101: A tumour (in English) 2011
- Page 102 and 103: punctuation and that peculiar synta
- Page 104 and 105: and waning produces a horrific pull
- Page 106 and 107: frozen, unknown. It’s not mine, t
- Page 108 and 109: pink, marbled-looking veneer inspir
- Page 110 and 111: notch at its highest point with a c
- Page 112 and 113: [...] If it’s like this in the mo
- Page 114 and 115: the crew: Fletcher, the navy techni
- Page 116 and 117: scenes remind us that this isn’t
- Page 118 and 119: Grotesque, just like this text here
- Page 120 and 121: The tumour, spanning many acres now
- Page 122 and 123: TEETH, and a battle is pitched betw
- Page 124 and 125: A cave again, this time somewhere i
- Page 126 and 127: The underside of a banana slug. The
- Page 128 and 129: taxidermist, so as to preserve its
- Page 130 and 131: a golf ball. I fucking hate golf, y
- Page 132 and 133: As previously discussed elsewhere,
- Page 134 and 135: varieties: RODS AND CONES (rods of
- Page 136 and 137: Feel its tentacular motion inside y
- Page 138 and 139: droxyurea, Hydrea, Idarubicin, Idam
eing that does not require a prior life – requires no living<br />
hu<strong>man</strong> to be smashed into oblivion by some high definition<br />
hammer for merely tuning fucking gods.<br />
I wanted to ask, tentatively, if you mourned anything<br />
ridiculous?<br />
–The passing of anachronisms, archaisms, even.<br />
Whe<strong>the</strong>r you suffered from bouts of fantasy for <strong>the</strong> quiet,<br />
sofa-bound end?<br />
Toge<strong>the</strong>r.<br />
[...]<br />
I thought about whe<strong>the</strong>r you might’ve turned this<br />
down at my offering.<br />
Whe<strong>the</strong>r you could have passed me some paper, a<br />
pen, a drink – a drink – a fucking drink.<br />
Whe<strong>the</strong>r you might have passed me a fucking drink.<br />
Whe<strong>the</strong>r you could have just passed me a fucking<br />
drink.<br />
Whe<strong>the</strong>r you might have summoned <strong>the</strong> heart to fix<br />
me and pass me a fucking drink.<br />
Whe<strong>the</strong>r you knew <strong>the</strong> slightest thing about redemption,<br />
apology.<br />
An understanding of ‘sorry’ as existing ‘between’<br />
ra<strong>the</strong>r than ‘of ’, ‘on’, ‘from’ or fucking ‘in’. I am sorry.<br />
I wanted to ask whe<strong>the</strong>r you’d considered <strong>the</strong> ra<strong>the</strong>r<br />
likely conclusion that <strong>the</strong> eyelash made its way beneath your<br />
foreskin by entirely banal means?<br />
Like a worm mistaken for a brooch. Or ra<strong>the</strong>r a<br />
broken hammer mistaken for a fist-sized jewel; a fist-sized<br />
fist mistaken for an upturned palm.<br />
A somewhat pa<strong>the</strong>tic, plodding transit: under a
Change language