For the happy man! - Collected writings DEPRESSION: Ed Atkins

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END. The interpretation is wrong: the appeal is submitted in English, tucked between material similes. And O let me leap – with more vitality than I’ve mustered in years – at the chance to answer the dissenters and enlist and stand shoulder to shoulder with a platoon of animated woodland animals, geological formations, ancient wheels, ignoble gases, snide remarks, etc. – and welcome the non-existence of the world and the non-existence of humans and the non-existence of everything. Gloriously, glaringly obvious, for a moment. As it is with metaphor. And so at this point in the proceedings we all implode or else permanently immobilize or else calcify or carbonate, fossilise in our named discretion. And that it’s narcissism – alone and struck. And so when I’m at the bottom and on my knees and when I’m squatting under the stairs and on my knees and barely breathing but copiously weeping, oozing uncontrollably, vanity performed as shadow – ready to SPIT for shit – to hammer the thin walls with balled fists – to kick and smash and cuss and threaten everyone with fucking deATH if they don’t shut the fuck up and back
the fuck away – and then STRAIGHTAWAYS apologise (!!!!) to everyone and all around and beg and plead and shriek – or else sink further and my face sinks further still, all the way to some palsied village (a land of hysterical stone!) – and my eyes throw out with significance and wheel straight off the edge of this world and into none other. O let me. Let me forever weep. is for this to end. The last thing I want To stop weeping and to leave this place behind and below. The very thought of leaving is repulsive, is patronising. And it makes my heart sing through a mouth torn in its face with a nail. To redeem this state would be to ridicule it and return and not particularly dishevelled nor with any particular stains
Page 3: -- For the happy man! Collected wri
Page 8 and 9: Minotaur 2013
Page 11 and 12: Depressions
Page 13 and 14: The proper work of a thumb lies in
Page 15: are simply weapons for piercing the
Page 18 and 19: Dear [...] This will be presented i
Page 20 and 21: The repulsion of two-two fleshy mag
Page 22 and 23: moons. Simply depressions, concave
Page 24 and 25: forms to depress. A critique of dep
Page 26 and 27: motor cortex (a plague), Gyrus (‘
Page 28 and 29: ER! - Cuneus (the scene at the bott
Page 31 and 32: Or tears, of course 2013
Page 33 and 34: (Flat palm butts flat door - though
Page 35 and 36: tion is his own) O! - This always-a
Page 37 and 38: Else flattened by the interminable
Page 39 and 40: As in: light-like curves that pass
Page 41: Liquid crystals running terminal co
Page 45 and 46: ness. I conjure the very medicine t
Page 48 and 49: Warm, Warm, Warm Spring Mouths 2013
Page 50 and 51: And no provision has been made for
Page 52 and 53: And this whole thing a concession,
Page 54 and 55: And it’s not too much to imagine
Page 56 and 57: And bullet-time, really, is a lifes
Page 58 and 59: gallon or so of PVA semen. Dispassi
Page 60 and 61: Inexpensive. Which is part of it, t
Page 62 and 63: This is no longer an experience, bu
Page 64 and 65: A heavy mood that turned away from
Page 66 and 67: (Is this thing on?) And a trellis o
Page 68 and 69: Into the cool water. This one goes
Page 70 and 71: This one goes out to your singular
Page 72: I don’t want to hear any news on
Page 75 and 76: I wanted to ask whether you thought
Page 77 and 78: legibility. A primordial story of s
Page 79 and 80: owner of the eyelash, your lover. B
Page 81 and 82: The smell was certainly sexual, I t
Page 83 and 84: discrete line to slight-inked line
Page 85 and 86: oily substance not unlike jojoba, f
Page 87 and 88: muscles) Averting our eyes from one
Page 89 and 90: late to be a fucking lie told badly
Page 91 and 92: fingernail, most likely. Fingers re
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great prairies of skin are, in each
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the same mistake again. The dead ey
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-Resembling the lichen that seems t
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A tumour (in English) 2011
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punctuation and that peculiar synta
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and waning produces a horrific pull
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frozen, unknown. It’s not mine, t
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pink, marbled-looking veneer inspir
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notch at its highest point with a c
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[...] If it’s like this in the mo
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the crew: Fletcher, the navy techni
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scenes remind us that this isn’t
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Grotesque, just like this text here
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The tumour, spanning many acres now
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TEETH, and a battle is pitched betw
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A cave again, this time somewhere i
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The underside of a banana slug. The
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taxidermist, so as to preserve its
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a golf ball. I fucking hate golf, y
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As previously discussed elsewhere,
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varieties: RODS AND CONES (rods of
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Feel its tentacular motion inside y
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droxyurea, Hydrea, Idarubicin, Idam
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of blasé humanity writhing happily
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Do it 2013
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Graciousness - hospitality at all c
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- My daughter says she loves to ice
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Or remembering thinking: I used to
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Or the admission that I bought a kn
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Or the gap in the journal here. A f
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Or someone once writing something a
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Or that an index of absence is a so
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Or something like that. Diminished
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gler, to be precise - on to the arm
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Or the too-late comprehension that
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Or there’s THIS, off the TOP OF M
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tralaminar nuclear group (baffled a
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incerta (lopsided), PITUITARY GLAND
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have - the other seemingly a king o
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The brute indomitability of a list.
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Or a massive tattoo of a shark bite
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Or, to focus a little, the reptilia
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Or, that we are not limited to verb
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Or perhaps it’s more useful to be
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Or... I suppose. False positives an
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Or confiding that the head eventual
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Or you climb the dangling rope left
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Or a diagonal movement across bus s
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Or being an aggravation of the exis
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Or again, in 2012, albeit INTERNALL
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Three shorts 2012 - 13
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jaw, eight twice, From what I can m
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of fecklessness and animal despair.
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ing the problem. We’ll shave arou
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Horse-head or Triangulum Emission G
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Meringue 2011
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Somebody’s baby boy
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Somebody’s Baby Boy, half dead, s
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[...] Can you smell that? (*RUMMAGE
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like skull; your skull is more poro
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those trapdoor spiders - those trap
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piss-stream. The ones that hook-on
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channels. Purposeless. The stuff I
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whistling, singing - whatever it is
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Air for concrete 2011
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mouth. Do you even have a mouth? [.
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[…] I’m sure you can picture as
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ody’s. Microscopic flakes of Leon
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ody. […] Surrounded by gratuitous
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Your father’s horrific sunglasses
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horizon from the window of a double
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a click, looks up towards the ossif
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impunity, fearlessly, expressively!
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450You, standing DUMBSTRUCK in a be
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within the hole. 1(These things, ag
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40,000 ADThe patron saint of atroph
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seems so phenomenally archaic as to
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patron saint of poets and refugees,
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valued member of the team’. A ton
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1372A polytheism that describes the
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with his right. The words he uses,
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© Ed Atkins 2013 -- For the happy
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For the happy man! - Collected writings DEPRESSION: Ed Atkins

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