For the happy man! - Collected writings DEPRESSION: Ed Atkins

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those trapdoor spiders – those trapdoor spiders that fashion a trapdoor from some quiet wad of moss, and place it over their burrow with a hinge of twisted silk; then await the tiny, tremulous footsteps of a passing [...], plunging out the trapdoor like a sailor’s open fist to grab the [...] and drag it back into its unimaginable lair. What it does down there scarcely bares thinking about, does it? Needless to say, if there ever was one of those spiders living in that hole in the back of the cadaver’s skull, it’s gone now; that den’s abandoned. No doubt an apparition, brought about by the fumes. The cadaver is haunted. And if it were to be haunted, it would definitely be haunted by the ghosts of trapdoor spiders, those exemplars of horror and murderous shock. Footprints of the cadaver, trod impossibly heavy into the tarmac, are stagnant rock pools of caramel piss. Caramel as a filling in chocolate. Is the movement involved in ‘catching’ the caramel contents of a chocolate on the first, halving bite, affected? Is it even learnt? Fingering the mess of a Flake into the corner of your mouth. Caramel. That’s a worrying colour to discover in the toilet bowl after a loved one. You might think: How old is that piss? – A crucial question whose answer might well excuse the colour. Perhaps it’s matured, you think. Aged. Don’t be a fucking moron. He or she is horribly dehydrated, and water – maybe mineralised if you have it – should be administered. Plain water restores only the volume of the blood plasma, inhibiting the thirst mechanism before solute levels can be replenished. In more severe cases, correction of a dehydrated state is accomplished by the replenishment of necessary water and electrolytes by INTRA- VENOUS MEANS. We want to avoid that if we can. Hydration
should be a pleasure, a romance. I’ve never been good at drinking much. You? I don’t mean alcohol (I am a professional ‘drinker’) but water or whatever. Squash as a child. As a consequence, dehydration is a lurking danger. I suppose that when you piss (or shit or what-haveyou) you get a glimpse of what on earth is going on in there. In the dark. Some sort of Victorian distillery. Rusty pipes and the like. Jack The Ripper describing. But my god it stinks doesn’t it!? Sugar Puffs or asparagus. Others? – Other consumables that change the smell of your urine? Can you smell that? (*SMACK!*) How about now? Amazing how quickly peroxide fills the air, isn’t it? An approximate location might be established by the volume of acetone fumes in the air on any given street. Think you could do that with just your nose and the shedding of a few tears? Those rock pools are lined with plastic. Sanitary-blue. And what’s that disastrous larvae protruding from the surface of the piss? What dry, flying weight will that gristly thing become? A meniscus of piss dragged up around their mucal face. That’s the birth of Hell, don’t you think? Parasites are bastards, aren’t they? Particularly the ones that burrow into your heel, or skip up your
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-- For the happy man! Collected wri
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Minotaur 2013
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Depressions
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The proper work of a thumb lies in
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are simply weapons for piercing the
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Dear [...] This will be presented i
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The repulsion of two-two fleshy mag
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moons. Simply depressions, concave
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forms to depress. A critique of dep
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motor cortex (a plague), Gyrus (‘
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ER! - Cuneus (the scene at the bott
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Or tears, of course 2013
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(Flat palm butts flat door - though
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tion is his own) O! - This always-a
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Else flattened by the interminable
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As in: light-like curves that pass
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Liquid crystals running terminal co
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the fuck away - and then STRAIGHTAW
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ness. I conjure the very medicine t
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Warm, Warm, Warm Spring Mouths 2013
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And no provision has been made for
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And this whole thing a concession,
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And it’s not too much to imagine
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And bullet-time, really, is a lifes
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gallon or so of PVA semen. Dispassi
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Inexpensive. Which is part of it, t
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This is no longer an experience, bu
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A heavy mood that turned away from
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(Is this thing on?) And a trellis o
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Into the cool water. This one goes
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This one goes out to your singular
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I don’t want to hear any news on
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I wanted to ask whether you thought
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legibility. A primordial story of s
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owner of the eyelash, your lover. B
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The smell was certainly sexual, I t
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discrete line to slight-inked line
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oily substance not unlike jojoba, f
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muscles) Averting our eyes from one
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late to be a fucking lie told badly
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fingernail, most likely. Fingers re
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great prairies of skin are, in each
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the same mistake again. The dead ey
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-Resembling the lichen that seems t
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A tumour (in English) 2011
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punctuation and that peculiar synta
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and waning produces a horrific pull
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frozen, unknown. It’s not mine, t
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pink, marbled-looking veneer inspir
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notch at its highest point with a c
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[...] If it’s like this in the mo
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the crew: Fletcher, the navy techni
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scenes remind us that this isn’t
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Grotesque, just like this text here
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The tumour, spanning many acres now
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TEETH, and a battle is pitched betw
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A cave again, this time somewhere i
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The underside of a banana slug. The
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taxidermist, so as to preserve its
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a golf ball. I fucking hate golf, y
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As previously discussed elsewhere,
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varieties: RODS AND CONES (rods of
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Feel its tentacular motion inside y
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droxyurea, Hydrea, Idarubicin, Idam
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of blasé humanity writhing happily
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Do it 2013
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Graciousness - hospitality at all c
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- My daughter says she loves to ice
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Or remembering thinking: I used to
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Or the admission that I bought a kn
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Or the gap in the journal here. A f
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Or someone once writing something a
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Or that an index of absence is a so
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Or something like that. Diminished
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gler, to be precise - on to the arm
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Or the too-late comprehension that
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Or there’s THIS, off the TOP OF M
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tralaminar nuclear group (baffled a
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incerta (lopsided), PITUITARY GLAND
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have - the other seemingly a king o
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The brute indomitability of a list.
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Or a massive tattoo of a shark bite
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Or, to focus a little, the reptilia
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Or, that we are not limited to verb
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Or perhaps it’s more useful to be
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Or... I suppose. False positives an
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Or confiding that the head eventual
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Or you climb the dangling rope left
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Or a diagonal movement across bus s
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Or being an aggravation of the exis
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Or again, in 2012, albeit INTERNALL
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Three shorts 2012 - 13
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jaw, eight twice, From what I can m
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of fecklessness and animal despair.
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ing the problem. We’ll shave arou
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Horse-head or Triangulum Emission G
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Meringue 2011
Page 313 and 314: Somebody’s baby boy
Page 315: Somebody’s Baby Boy, half dead, s
Page 318 and 319: [...] Can you smell that? (*RUMMAGE
Page 320 and 321: like skull; your skull is more poro
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Page 331 and 332: Air for concrete 2011
Page 333 and 334: mouth. Do you even have a mouth? [.
Page 335 and 336: […] I’m sure you can picture as
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Page 339 and 340: ody. […] Surrounded by gratuitous
Page 341 and 342: Your father’s horrific sunglasses
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Page 356 and 357: 40,000 ADThe patron saint of atroph
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Page 362 and 363: valued member of the team’. A ton
Page 364 and 365: 1372A polytheism that describes the
Page 366: with his right. The words he uses,
Page 370: © Ed Atkins 2013 -- For the happy
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For the happy man! - Collected writings DEPRESSION: Ed Atkins

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