For the happy man! - Collected writings DEPRESSION: Ed Atkins

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The brute indomitability of a list. We are all of us incorrigible! Or what about these neglected horror-hands, eh? They itch, they’re too big and heavy. I feel clumsy, drunk. And they taste... metallic. As if infused with OLD blood. I can scarcely trot out the melody to fucking Greensleeves anymore, let alone get back in the studio to record my sophomore album. Jesus! [...]
Or it’s opacity, irony and incoherence. Or, irony, incoherence and opacity. Or with that mosquito bite as a glorious full-stop. I should think that you could come up with a whole, weird parlance of punctuation from various bites. Vampire, snake – anticipatory pseudo-ellipses. Waiting for an end result – revenant transformation, anaphylaxis, DEATH, etc. – A friend of mine had a vampire bite tattooed on his neck, which is pretty good, if you ask me. Complicated, really... Tattoos in general in regards to representation. Like the tattoo of a mole or a scar or a warren of liver spots – there’s something gloriously wilful, pre-emptive about something like that. Self-defence, your honour! Or there’s the thought that a depiction of a vampire bite seems to encompass something essential about a tattoo – affected rebellion, disaffection, a kind of proud dysmorphia, deferred impotence, membership, affinity, rejection, sociopathy, artifice, ancestry, some pseudo-masonic furtiveness, tolerance, adulthood, adolescence, taste, faith, primitivism, KITSCH, statement, submission... My grandfather had a vast number of tattoos. On account of several years in the merchant navy, I think. Predominantly they comprised a kind of dermic map of the major ports of the world, applied using whatever local method to crudely depict some historical object unique to the vicinity, which would as a kind of proxy. Or, for example, the terrible parentheses of some huge carnivore’s bite – contained within, an undeveloped, arrested, now-MOOT point. [...]
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-- For the happy man! Collected wri
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Minotaur 2013
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Depressions
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The proper work of a thumb lies in
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are simply weapons for piercing the
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Dear [...] This will be presented i
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The repulsion of two-two fleshy mag
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moons. Simply depressions, concave
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forms to depress. A critique of dep
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motor cortex (a plague), Gyrus (‘
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ER! - Cuneus (the scene at the bott
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Or tears, of course 2013
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(Flat palm butts flat door - though
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tion is his own) O! - This always-a
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Else flattened by the interminable
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As in: light-like curves that pass
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Liquid crystals running terminal co
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the fuck away - and then STRAIGHTAW
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ness. I conjure the very medicine t
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Warm, Warm, Warm Spring Mouths 2013
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And no provision has been made for
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And this whole thing a concession,
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And it’s not too much to imagine
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And bullet-time, really, is a lifes
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gallon or so of PVA semen. Dispassi
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Inexpensive. Which is part of it, t
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This is no longer an experience, bu
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A heavy mood that turned away from
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(Is this thing on?) And a trellis o
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Into the cool water. This one goes
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This one goes out to your singular
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I don’t want to hear any news on
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I wanted to ask whether you thought
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legibility. A primordial story of s
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owner of the eyelash, your lover. B
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The smell was certainly sexual, I t
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discrete line to slight-inked line
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oily substance not unlike jojoba, f
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muscles) Averting our eyes from one
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late to be a fucking lie told badly
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fingernail, most likely. Fingers re
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great prairies of skin are, in each
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the same mistake again. The dead ey
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-Resembling the lichen that seems t
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A tumour (in English) 2011
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punctuation and that peculiar synta
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and waning produces a horrific pull
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frozen, unknown. It’s not mine, t
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pink, marbled-looking veneer inspir
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notch at its highest point with a c
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[...] If it’s like this in the mo
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the crew: Fletcher, the navy techni
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scenes remind us that this isn’t
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Grotesque, just like this text here
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The tumour, spanning many acres now
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TEETH, and a battle is pitched betw
Page 124 and 125: A cave again, this time somewhere i
Page 126 and 127: The underside of a banana slug. The
Page 128 and 129: taxidermist, so as to preserve its
Page 130 and 131: a golf ball. I fucking hate golf, y
Page 132 and 133: As previously discussed elsewhere,
Page 134 and 135: varieties: RODS AND CONES (rods of
Page 136 and 137: Feel its tentacular motion inside y
Page 138 and 139: droxyurea, Hydrea, Idarubicin, Idam
Page 140 and 141: of blasé humanity writhing happily
Page 143 and 144: Do it 2013
Page 145: Graciousness - hospitality at all c
Page 148 and 149: - My daughter says she loves to ice
Page 150 and 151: Or remembering thinking: I used to
Page 152 and 153: Or the admission that I bought a kn
Page 154 and 155: Or the gap in the journal here. A f
Page 156 and 157: Or someone once writing something a
Page 158 and 159: Or that an index of absence is a so
Page 160 and 161: Or something like that. Diminished
Page 162 and 163: gler, to be precise - on to the arm
Page 164 and 165: Or the too-late comprehension that
Page 166 and 167: Or there’s THIS, off the TOP OF M
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Page 172 and 173: have - the other seemingly a king o
Page 176 and 177: Or a massive tattoo of a shark bite
Page 178 and 179: Or, to focus a little, the reptilia
Page 180 and 181: Or, that we are not limited to verb
Page 182 and 183: Or perhaps it’s more useful to be
Page 184 and 185: Or... I suppose. False positives an
Page 186 and 187: Or confiding that the head eventual
Page 188 and 189: Or you climb the dangling rope left
Page 190 and 191: Or a diagonal movement across bus s
Page 192 and 193: Or being an aggravation of the exis
Page 194 and 195: Or again, in 2012, albeit INTERNALL
Page 197 and 198: Three shorts 2012 - 13
Page 199 and 200: jaw, eight twice, From what I can m
Page 201 and 202: of fecklessness and animal despair.
Page 203 and 204: ing the problem. We’ll shave arou
Page 205: Horse-head or Triangulum Emission G
Page 215: Meringue 2011
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Somebody’s baby boy
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Somebody’s Baby Boy, half dead, s
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[...] Can you smell that? (*RUMMAGE
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like skull; your skull is more poro
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those trapdoor spiders - those trap
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piss-stream. The ones that hook-on
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channels. Purposeless. The stuff I
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whistling, singing - whatever it is
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Air for concrete 2011
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mouth. Do you even have a mouth? [.
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[…] I’m sure you can picture as
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ody’s. Microscopic flakes of Leon
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ody. […] Surrounded by gratuitous
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Your father’s horrific sunglasses
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horizon from the window of a double
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a click, looks up towards the ossif
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impunity, fearlessly, expressively!
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450You, standing DUMBSTRUCK in a be
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within the hole. 1(These things, ag
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40,000 ADThe patron saint of atroph
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seems so phenomenally archaic as to
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patron saint of poets and refugees,
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valued member of the team’. A ton
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1372A polytheism that describes the
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with his right. The words he uses,
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© Ed Atkins 2013 -- For the happy
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For the happy man! - Collected writings DEPRESSION: Ed Atkins

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