For the happy man! - Collected writings DEPRESSION: Ed Atkins

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Or the admission that I bought a knife. Beech wood handle and a high carbon XC90 steel blade. Preemptively. In self-defence. And I’d walk about in the evenings, turning it over and over in my pocket, fondling the soft-metal cuff that restrained the blade inside the handle – catching the foolish eyes of passersby, firing a look to say: What I would do if you fucking so much as fucking, etc., You just fucking try it you fucking, etc. – and, beneath: WHERE CAN WE FLEE TO NOW?... Manifest destiny stalking the streets. And, as should be clear to anyone present, not just mine but everyone’s. Shuffling inexorably toward the same wet hollow... Or an ancient mass grave prophesied all of this. Isn’t that amazing? – The depth of the grave, the position of those interred, the way in which each was despatched with a single SMITE, etc. Each characteristic of the thing to be read as a warning. From history. Though I don’t suppose there’s any other way of reading it. Like the kind of expression worn by the surprised dead! – Surprise Surprise! – etc. Or the question of a weapon; A weaponised question. Or the platitudinous ‘As vital, thrilling and life enhancing as anything in modern fiction!’ [...]
Or a simple list, a curriculum of sorts: Black Powder, Black Magnetic Powder, Silver or White Powder, Fluorescent Powder, Black Powder Fibreglass Brush, Silver Powder Fibreglass Brush, Fluorescent Powder Brush, Camel Hair Brush, Magnetic Powder Wand, Black and White Lift Cards (100), 2” FP Lifting Tape, 4” FP Lifting Tape, 1 1/2” Plastic Tape, Scissors, Tweezers, Permanent Marker, Ink Pen, Pencil, “L” Square (Carpenter’s Square) or folding scale, 6” Scale, Small “L” Scale, 12” Ruler, 30’ Steel Tape Measure, Hand Magnifier, Blue Led Flashlight, Box of Silicon Casting, Alcohol Wipes, Dust/Mist Disposable Mask, Photo ID Card, Small Jar of Plumbers Putty, Roll of Evidence Sealing Tape, Sterile Swabs (10 or 11), 16 inch or larger tool box with lift out tray. Or the kind of uncomprehending expression worn by those confident mortals – those alien and most dangerous people whose expression is one of bafflement that you didn’t just go to the doctor at the first sign. What’s wrong with the fucking doctor?, they ask, IN ALL SERIOUSNESS. Their reading of the situation is always so terrifically BASIC, expedient. For once, PLEASE don’t offer a fucking solution – just listen, PLEASE... Or those arseholes grinning, laughing in the cinema as you silently weep. That sensation of utter, obscene disparity. Or the crimson flesh, the crimson fatted mosquitos, those crimson skies, those crimson dresses, the crimson lips, that crimson flower, all that crimson blood... [...]
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-- For the happy man! Collected wri
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Minotaur 2013
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Depressions
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The proper work of a thumb lies in
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are simply weapons for piercing the
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Dear [...] This will be presented i
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The repulsion of two-two fleshy mag
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moons. Simply depressions, concave
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forms to depress. A critique of dep
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motor cortex (a plague), Gyrus (‘
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ER! - Cuneus (the scene at the bott
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Or tears, of course 2013
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(Flat palm butts flat door - though
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tion is his own) O! - This always-a
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Else flattened by the interminable
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As in: light-like curves that pass
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Liquid crystals running terminal co
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the fuck away - and then STRAIGHTAW
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ness. I conjure the very medicine t
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Warm, Warm, Warm Spring Mouths 2013
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And no provision has been made for
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And this whole thing a concession,
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And it’s not too much to imagine
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And bullet-time, really, is a lifes
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gallon or so of PVA semen. Dispassi
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Inexpensive. Which is part of it, t
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This is no longer an experience, bu
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A heavy mood that turned away from
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(Is this thing on?) And a trellis o
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Into the cool water. This one goes
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This one goes out to your singular
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I don’t want to hear any news on
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I wanted to ask whether you thought
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legibility. A primordial story of s
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owner of the eyelash, your lover. B
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The smell was certainly sexual, I t
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discrete line to slight-inked line
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oily substance not unlike jojoba, f
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muscles) Averting our eyes from one
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late to be a fucking lie told badly
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fingernail, most likely. Fingers re
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great prairies of skin are, in each
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the same mistake again. The dead ey
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-Resembling the lichen that seems t
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A tumour (in English) 2011
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Page 112 and 113: [...] If it’s like this in the mo
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Page 118 and 119: Grotesque, just like this text here
Page 120 and 121: The tumour, spanning many acres now
Page 122 and 123: TEETH, and a battle is pitched betw
Page 124 and 125: A cave again, this time somewhere i
Page 126 and 127: The underside of a banana slug. The
Page 128 and 129: taxidermist, so as to preserve its
Page 130 and 131: a golf ball. I fucking hate golf, y
Page 132 and 133: As previously discussed elsewhere,
Page 134 and 135: varieties: RODS AND CONES (rods of
Page 136 and 137: Feel its tentacular motion inside y
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Page 140 and 141: of blasé humanity writhing happily
Page 143 and 144: Do it 2013
Page 145: Graciousness - hospitality at all c
Page 148 and 149: - My daughter says she loves to ice
Page 150 and 151: Or remembering thinking: I used to
Page 154 and 155: Or the gap in the journal here. A f
Page 156 and 157: Or someone once writing something a
Page 158 and 159: Or that an index of absence is a so
Page 160 and 161: Or something like that. Diminished
Page 162 and 163: gler, to be precise - on to the arm
Page 164 and 165: Or the too-late comprehension that
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Page 174 and 175: The brute indomitability of a list.
Page 176 and 177: Or a massive tattoo of a shark bite
Page 178 and 179: Or, to focus a little, the reptilia
Page 180 and 181: Or, that we are not limited to verb
Page 182 and 183: Or perhaps it’s more useful to be
Page 184 and 185: Or... I suppose. False positives an
Page 186 and 187: Or confiding that the head eventual
Page 188 and 189: Or you climb the dangling rope left
Page 190 and 191: Or a diagonal movement across bus s
Page 192 and 193: Or being an aggravation of the exis
Page 194 and 195: Or again, in 2012, albeit INTERNALL
Page 197 and 198: Three shorts 2012 - 13
Page 199 and 200: jaw, eight twice, From what I can m
Page 201 and 202: of fecklessness and animal despair.
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ing the problem. We’ll shave arou
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Horse-head or Triangulum Emission G
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Meringue 2011
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Somebody’s baby boy
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Somebody’s Baby Boy, half dead, s
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[...] Can you smell that? (*RUMMAGE
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like skull; your skull is more poro
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those trapdoor spiders - those trap
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piss-stream. The ones that hook-on
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channels. Purposeless. The stuff I
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whistling, singing - whatever it is
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Air for concrete 2011
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mouth. Do you even have a mouth? [.
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[…] I’m sure you can picture as
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ody’s. Microscopic flakes of Leon
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ody. […] Surrounded by gratuitous
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Your father’s horrific sunglasses
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horizon from the window of a double
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a click, looks up towards the ossif
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impunity, fearlessly, expressively!
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450You, standing DUMBSTRUCK in a be
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within the hole. 1(These things, ag
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40,000 ADThe patron saint of atroph
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seems so phenomenally archaic as to
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patron saint of poets and refugees,
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valued member of the team’. A ton
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1372A polytheism that describes the
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with his right. The words he uses,
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© Ed Atkins 2013 -- For the happy
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For the happy man! - Collected writings DEPRESSION: Ed Atkins

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