The Little Big Book - AA - GSO Watch

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of beer would be required if I were to eat any breakfast. Nevertheless, I still thought I could control the situation, and there were periods of sobriety which renewed my wife’s hope. Gradually things got worse. The house was taken over by the mortgage holder, my mother-in-law died, my wife and father-in-law became ill. Then I got a promising business opportunity. Stocks were at the low point of 1932, and I had somehow formed a group to buy. I was to share generously in the profits. Then I went on a prodigious bender, and that chance vanished. I woke up. This had to be stopped. I saw I could not take so much as one drink. I was through forever. Before then, I had written lots of sweet promises, but my wife happily observed that this time I meant business. And so I did. Shortly afterward I came home drunk. There had been no fight. Where had been my high resolve? I simply didn’t know. It hadn’t even come to mind. Someone had pushed a drink my way, and I had taken it. Was I crazy? I began to wonder, for such an appalling lack of perspective seemed near being just that. Renewing my resolve, I tried again. Some time 6 ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS passed, and confidence began to be replaced by cocksureness. I could laugh at the gin mills. Now I had what it takes! One day I walked into a cafe to telephone. In no time I was beating on the bar asking myself how it happened. As the whisky rose to my head I told myself I would manage better next time, but I might as well get good and drunk then. And I did. The remorse, horror and hopelessness of the next morning are unforgettable. The courage to do battle was not there. My brain raced uncontrollably and 10
there was a terrible sense of impending calamity. I hardly dared cross the street, lest I collapse and be run down by an early morning truck, for it was scarcely daylight. An all night place supplied me with a dozen glasses of ale. My writhing nerves were stilled at last. A morning paper told me the market had gone to hell again. Well, so had I. The market would recover, but I wouldn’t. That was a hard thought. Should I kill myself? No—not now. Then a mental fog settled down. Gin would fix that. So two bottles, and— oblivion. The mind and body are marvelous mechanisms, for mine endured this agony two more years. Sometimes I stole from my wife’s slender purse when the morning terror and madness were on me. Again I swayed dizzily before an open window, or the medicine cabinet where there was poison, cursing myself for a weakling. There were flights from city to country and back, as my wife and I sought escape. Then came the night when the physical and mental torture was so hellish I feared I would burst through my window, sash and all. Somehow I managed to drag my mattress to a lower floor, lest I suddenly leap. A doctor came with BILL’S STORY 7 a heavy sedative. Next day found me drinking both gin and sedative. This combination soon landed me on the rocks. People feared for my sanity. So did I. I could eat little or nothing when drinking, and I was forty pounds under weight. My brother-in-law is a physician, and through his kindness and that of my mother I was placed in a nationally-known hospital for the mental and physical rehabilitation of alcoholics. Under the so-called belladonna treatment my brain cleared. Hydrotherapy and mild exercise helped much. Best of all, I met a kind 11
Page 1 and 2: THE DOCTOR’S OPINION We of Alcoho
Page 3 and 4: of alcohol on these chronic alcohol
Page 5 and 6: This immediately precipitates us in
Page 7 and 8: lost money—but some became very r
Page 9: New York stock exchange. After one
Page 13 and 14: Trembling, I stepped from the hospi
Page 15 and 16: I had always believed in a Power gr
Page 17 and 18: It was only a matter of being willi
Page 19 and 20: have such experiences. He knows tha
Page 21 and 22: just as hopeless as Bill. Nearly al
Page 23 and 24: the problem would hardly be scratch
Page 25 and 26: Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. He is seldom m
Page 27 and 28: Once in a while he may tell the tru
Page 29 and 30: The central fact of our lives today
Page 31 and 32: you. With many individuals the meth
Page 33 and 34: that somehow, someday he will contr
Page 35 and 36: these bouts and quieted himself wit
Page 37 and 38: question is how to stop altogether.
Page 39 and 40: eing any too smart, but felt reassu
Page 41 and 42: Some of you are thinking: ”Yes, w
Page 43 and 44: „In this frame of mind, I went ab
Page 45 and 46: ”Quite as important was the disco
Page 47 and 48: needed power wasn’t there. Our hu
Page 49 and 50: first conscious relation with God a
Page 51 and 52: in windy arguments, thinking we bel
Page 53 and 54: Students of ancient history tell us
Page 55 and 56: When we became alcoholics, crushed
Page 57 and 58: We finally saw that faith in some k
Page 59 and 60: Chapter 5 58 HOW IT WORKS R ARELY H
Page 61 and 62:
The point is, that we are willing t
Page 63 and 64:
have made decisions based on self w
Page 65 and 66:
goods, to get rid of them promptly
Page 67 and 68:
finitely grave. We found that it is
Page 69 and 70:
our Creator. We can laugh at those
Page 71 and 72:
selves. It quiets the imperious urg
Page 73 and 74:
one might have observed him. As fas
Page 75 and 76:
quiet for an hour, carefully review
Page 77 and 78:
than to a friend, but we find it mu
Page 79 and 80:
ing for either family. We suggested
Page 81 and 82:
justifiable exceptions, and though
Page 83 and 84:
way through. We are going to know a
Page 85 and 86:
shouldn’t be shy on this matter o
Page 87 and 88:
88 ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS running the
Page 89 and 90:
If he does not want to see you, nev
Page 91 and 92:
alcoholism because you offer a solu
Page 93 and 94:
taken action. On your first visit t
Page 95 and 96:
WORKING WITH OTHERS 97 You may be a
Page 97 and 98:
most incompatible people discover t
Page 99 and 100:
Our experience shows that this is n
Page 101 and 102:
urners. A spirit of intolerance mig
Page 103 and 104:
We seldom had friends at our homes,
Page 105 and 106:
were so inaccessible that it seemed
Page 107 and 108:
alcoholic. Perhaps he can still ten
Page 109 and 110:
yourself in his place. Let him see
Page 111 and 112:
114 ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS There are
Page 113 and 114:
Ask him what you should do if he pl
Page 115 and 116:
of either to smile and say, ”This
Page 117 and 118:
fied he really wants to get over dr
Page 119 and 120:
family of an alcoholic longs for th
Page 121 and 122:
We families of Alcoholics Anonymous
Page 123 and 124:
will disappear when there is tolera
Page 125 and 126:
include his family obligations may
Page 127 and 128:
The family may feel they hold a mor
Page 129 and 130:
we have seen remarkable transformat
Page 131 and 132:
fences. Though he is now a most eff
Page 133 and 134:
employer has sometimes kept such a
Page 135 and 136:
he not work hard and have a knack o
Page 137 and 138:
lecture, moralize, or condemn; that
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all, are you not looking for result
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ment to a life which knows no alcoh
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It boils right down to this: No man
Page 145 and 146:
drinking. The old pleasures were go
Page 147 and 148:
Our hope is that when this chip of
Page 149 and 150:
how he lived in constant worry abou
Page 151 and 152:
once, but I’m a nobody now. From
Page 153 and 154:
ceeded with seven more. Seeing much
Page 155 and 156:
Under only slightly different condi
Page 157 and 158:
to face life again, there will be n
Page 159 and 160:
Salisbury (410) 543-2266 Massa-chus
Page 161 and 162:
FOREWORD We, of Alcoholics Anonymou
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The Little Big Book - AA - GSO Watch

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